~Jonathan~

Hi all and thanks again for replying <'> This woman behind us is in her fifties and she and her daughters have always been on my case. I can remember she came round shouting one time because her youngest daughter told her I'd called her eldest daughter a fat ###### but as I've never spoken to her eldest daughter I can't see how I could have done. When I said this she said "oh so you're calling my daughter a liar are you?" before giving me another mouthful and walking away. At the moment, we can see into their garden because in the recent high winds their fence blew down. It's a nightmare because until they get it fixed I can't go out there without being called names or having the fun made of me. You'd think they have better things to do with their time wouldn't you? This particular woman is very popular in our area and there's always something going on in her house, a party or a gathering or some such. What upsets me is how cruel and unkind she is and how liked she is and I always try to be polite and courteous and I'm hated As for the Oxford thing, I won't be able to make it this time as I'm going away for a while but I would like to come along sometime after that if that's okay? <'> Jonathan.

I was out in my garden this evening and Mum asked me to do something and I replied "I can't right now" to find the woman who lives behind us said in a babyish voice "he can't right now" before repeating it then falling about laughing This was made worse by her granddaughters who stared over the fence and began mimicking what she'd said before one of them calling me a 'weirdie' and them all laughing again. I have never spoken to this woman but she has always been rude to me. Funnily enough, when she's on her own and I've seen her she says nothing!

Theresa, I think you're quite lovely and I've got a great deal out of your posts and from your presence here. If you need to go then do what you feel is right but if you do decide to return please don't wait too long to do so. I for one will be sad to see you go as you contribute such a lot. You're marvellous <'> <'> <'>

Thank you everyone for everything you said relating to my initial post, I really and truly appreciate it <'> <'> <'> I've tried sending a reply PM to Clare63 but it tells me that no such member exists so I just want to say thanks Clare and no worries about sending me PM's, keep 'em coming is what I say

You guys are great - I can go to bed now feeling a bit better about myself and the world <'>

I like the thought of being an apple and a good one at that One good thing that's happened today has been seeing your responses and knowing that people DO care for me <'> I would willingly do the same for you all

I wish I could take this gift back to the store. I'm sorry, this feeling will pass, it always does ..... until the next time that is. I'm not a glowing example of an adult with an ASD and must be upsetting parents of ASD kids here, I don't mean to I just need to say how I'm feeling currently <'>

I live in Reading but I'm a nightmare to be around, I talk way too much and get on everyone's nerves. I can't tell when someone has paused or stopped talking so often interrupt

Hi everyone <'> My Mum doesn't get it at all, I tell her and she says she understands but when I next say the wrong thing or have a meltdown, all of that goes out the window and she starts with all the things I mentioned above. I guess she feels she's failed when she sees her 33 year old son without a job, doesn't drive, has no friends or social life and sees that everyone else out there at that age has all those things and more. I wish I could pretend to be 'normal' but I know that's way out of my scope. I am quite close to Oxford, about 25 minutes or so by train but don't want to come back from there on a train as I always get singled out and picked on by groups of young people Jonathan.

When I walk up the street people walk in. People I've spoken to just once don't want to make it a second time. I always say the wrong things even though I try so hard to make things right. I have no friends, no social life, if I could walk into a door and simply cease to exist I would. I bring nothing positive to this world. I have a blazing temper which terrifies people but within that I would never hurt anyone, I just need to release a little pressure from inside and I feel a lot better afterwards. If I was brave enough to kill myself I would but I would probably bodge it and end up a vegetable and right now even though I detest my life and the hard cruel world we live in it still beats total non-existence. I just hate the fact I'm not able to be like others. Even if I walked, talked, wore the same clothes as everyone else, something about me would leak out and I would find myself isolated and ostracised. I started a class of Tai Chi recently to get out and meet people, I was polite and courteous to the people there but by the third week one of the people there made the facial spastic expression with her tongue and lip and stopped talking to me at all. Her friend followed suit. I didn't go back the next week even though I'd forked out for the following month. I came home and told Mum and she sighed and said "not again, why can't you just get on with things instead of always having to cause trouble?" I didn't cause trouble, I guess I just don't act the way I should. I find eye contact near impossible at times, my body language is clumsy and I can't laugh and make small talk like I see everyone else able to. Mum cannot and will not understand me, she thinks it's something I can shake off, she's always saying "I didn't bring you up to behave like this, what's wrong with you? The neighbours all talk about you, it's no wonder you're not liked" etc etc. I've been bullied from the word go and it's still happening now at 33. Everyone hates me. I get called "weirdo" and "freak" and I hate it. I hate living.

Yep, we're off to Coffs Harbour and Byron Bay is on the itinerary too. We're going to spend 2 or 3 days in Sydney as I've been promised, is it a Snow Cone? Basically a lethally alcoholic iced concoction.

I'm hoping to visit the Big Banana

Or ugli fruit even I can't speak ill of Dr Gillian's features because I feel it would be disrespectful to back ends of buses to do so

I stutter like mad and have done for as long as I can remember. I don't know if it's an ASD thing though.

The Beach Life by Tony Joe White. One of the lyrics is:- "And Jonathan still rules the wind" Being an extremely proud flatulent person, this fits