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Claire82

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About Claire82

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    Norfolk Broads
  1. Hi, my son also has sensory issues with smells, certain noises, food, clothing etc. he also comments when i wear something 'different' (i'm usually in jeans and a top, with hair either down or just a plain pony tail, no make up), if i put even the tiniest bit of eye shadow on, or do my hair a different way, or put on a skirt/tights, ds used to get very upset. One day i just explained to him that sometimes i like to 'look nice' or feel pretty', to which he would reply that i did anyway and i said that he has certain clothes that are his favourite and make him feel happy and that i too want to feel happy about how i look, and just because i look different to him, i am still the same mummy inside. With regards to his own clothing, have you tried letting him choose his own underwear etc when you are shopping? you could make it a special treat, just for you and him, a shopping spree and a stop off for lunch, with time to chat about his likes and dislikes, and discuss his purchases? Sorry if i haven't been much help Claire
  2. I found this book really simple and helpful and have given it to family members and ds's teachers and support staff to read. 'Can I tell you about Asperger Syndome - A guide for friends and family' by Jude Welton HTH Claire
  3. I have had the forms for DLA and cannot believe how difficult I am finding filling them in!! Could anyone tell me, in part 5 - more about the child, you have to tick all the boxes that apply. One of the boxes says 'has a mental health problem', I know this may sound silly, but is ASD/aspergers classed as a mental health problem? Thanks Claire
  4. Hi and thanks to everyone for your replies. I know that ds can't really help most of the things he does, but sometimes it's really difficult to alter your way of thinking. You see, ds only had a dx in May, and for years prior to this the school and family members all just said he was 'a naughty boy' and i tried everything to get him to 'behave'. It was about 18 months ago when things came to a head with the school and I started to look into things more that I began to suspect AS. But as I said before, when you have dealt with things a certain way (whether right or wrong) for such a long time, it can be really difficult to retrain yourself (and other ignorant people) to stop thinking of the behaviour as 'good' or 'bad' IYKWYM. Anyway, I just wanted to come back today and say how much better things have been since my rant, lol! i think i just needed to vent I have decided to try to plan a few activities in advance as distractions. The tv thing is difficult, ds does have a tv in his room but only for dvds or computer games (we live next to a mountain and have no tv without sky). Today he has been better, although I think this has a lot to do with my frame of mind (yesturday I was pre menstral), when I read my OP I feel quite ashamed of myself tbh, he's not that bad really, i was just having an off day i suppose, i'm only human.
  5. I know that we are only one and a half weeks into summer but i just feel like i don't know how i will cope for the rest of it! Ds is 8 and has aspergers, I also have dd aged 2 1/2 (nt we think). the thing is, ds is constantly doing something 'wrong'. He fidgits constantly, tapping his fingers or his foot, he's always whistling (to no particular tune) or making weird noises. I have asked him not to make these noises in the house, I do try to ignore it, but the more i tell myself to ignore it the more irritating it gets, so i told him to go out into the garden if he wants to make noises (this hasn't worked btw). He seems to find it funny to frighten dd, hiding behind things and jumping out, roaring or screetching at her, poor little thing is so nervous now and runs to me trying to climb up me like a wild animal at the slightest noise or movement from ds. she absolutely adores ds and would love to just 'play', but ds always slams doors shut to keet her out (i'm scared he will trap her fingers) and says he wants to play on his own. then sometimes dd will be playing nicely by herself and ds will walk by and snatch things away from her, saying that they are his (these could be things that he hasn't layed eyes on for weeks) leaving her screaming and me at my wits end. He is glued to the tv and refuses to watch anything that might also be interesting for dd. i have tried unplugging the tv and tucking the plug right under the cupboard, but he will find it and plug it back in. He seems to leave a trail of mess and destruction where ever he goes, emptying toy boxes and refusing to clear up, saying dd made the mess and he's not clearing it away. Today i hoovered right through downstairs, then came into the front room to find that he was sat eating a mini box of cornflakes and had given one to dd and sat and watched her tip them up all over the sofa and floor and crush them into a million bits I don't want to sound like i have a massive downer on the boy, i love him to bits, but he's just so infuriating. Tonight after putting him to bed, i could here banging coming from his room, so dh went to investigate, only to find ds hanging out of his window (usually kept locked but unlocked due to the warm weather). Every time we try to talk to him to explain things he covers his face with his hands, starts to but in with 'but mum' 'i didn't' and then goes on to cry histerically and run off. He has a thing about standing on things, anything that gets left on the floor, and with a 2 year old in the house, there are a lot of things that get left around. he can't step over them or walk round, he will deliberately step on them, sometimes breakable things, he has stood on my hoover pipe that many times i've had to tape it up due a split in it. I know that dh dreads coming home from work to listen to me ranting and raving and going on about everything ds has done that day. it's all we seem to talk about. Sorry to rant on but it's been a particularly tough day today, and i don't know how many more i can take. i seem to have lost all patience and any motivation to try to make it better. i feel like my son will grow up hating me, it must seem like the only time i speak to him is to tell him off. i know he is jelious of dd, he thinks that she gets all the attention and he gets none, but it's not like that, if anything, dd tends to get left to play by herself as all my time is taking up by ds. ok i will shut up now, even though i could probably go on all night lol! please help me to save my sanity
  6. Sorry, I should have been more specific, DS always needs a wee, his bowel movements are pretty normal/regular. I would say that most of the time he does 'do' something when he goes. He will go during most mealtimes at home and even in the car, short or long journeys. A few times we have even had to give him an empty bottle to pee in in the car. He does seem to be fine one minute and absolutely desperate the next, becoming quite upset if we tell him he will have to wait even a couple of minutes until we can pull over. I am more concerned about this at school to be honest, I don't know if I should ask his teacher just to let him go or to make him wait unitl break (depending on how long before breaktime). Claire
  7. My ds has always needed to go to the toilet quite a lot for as long as i can remember, he also wet the bed most nights until about 6 months ago. I was wondering if this is common or not with AS? I ask mainly about the daytime toileting because he keeps saying that his teacher won't let him go to the toilet when he asks, even though he tells her he is desperate. I have searched for info about toilet needs and AS but can't find anything and his teacher thinks he is just saying he needs the toilet to get out of the classroom or says he will have to wait like everyone else. Claire
  8. Hi, my ds has recently been dx with asd/aspergers, although we have 'known' for a lot longer. The trouble is I am struggling with what, if anything to tell ds about his condition. He will be 8 in July and part of me thinks that maybe he is too young to be told anything and we'll just wait until he's older, but part of me thinks we should try to explain a little of it to him, so that he understands why he gets into situations (mostly at school) that get him into trouble. The thing is, I don't really know where to begin. Have any of you told your aspie children at such a young age? If so, how and what did you say? I thought that maybe we should just tell him that the messages in his brain sometimes get mixed up and that is why he ends up feeling confused/angry/frightened etc. This is so hard, it was bad enough trying to explain it to (adult) relatives who can understand the terminolgy used, but to try to explain it to a child, and about himself too, I don't want to hurt his feelings either, I don't want him getting uspet and thinking that there's something wrong with him! I am rambling now, sorry lol! Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks. Claire
  9. ADOS is an Autistic Diagnostic Observation Schedule, (a semi structured assessment of communication, social interaction and play or imaginative use of materials for individuals who have been referred becuase of possible Autism). Copied from the top of my son's assessment report lol! My son had his ADOS on April 14th, it lasted about 1hr 30mins, but he is only 7. We were politely asked if we'd like to 'go and have a cup of tea somewhere' and come back in about an hour. We had a follow up appointment on May 13th, where the assessor (different one from usual) gave us her report. She went through everything that she did with ds, telling us his reactions and responses. His usual assessor was present through the ADOS and was also at the follow up meeting, at the end of which she gave us her final 'rough' report (to be finished off and sent to us to approve before being sent to the school and GP). Basically they do a series of 'test like games' whilst at the same time are observing everything the child says and does. As mentioned in a previous post, my ds also had to (pretending that the table was a sink) describe how he would go about brushing his teeth, he went on to give a very detailed account, even saying that he shouldn't forget to take the plug out or he might flood the bathroom! He was asked to explain what a friend was, he just said all of his friends go to school. They also said that he was very 'matter of fact' and found it difficult to sit without fidgeting, there was little or no social chit chat or give-and-take. My son's ADOS was not done on video though. HTH Claire
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