aspiesrule

Hi, This sounds just like me, too. I was accused by an unreasonable boss once of "turning on the waterworks" to get sympathy, which I found very upsetting, as I wish I didn't cry when trying to explain a point. I have also found that I get emotional when I need to go to the school to stick up for my son. I write more letters now as I can control the emotion then and I get rid of the emotion while I'm typing them out. If the letter sounds too emotional when I read it back I can edit it later when I'm calmer. Then I go into school and discuss the problem after the head or whoever has read the letter and got the main points. I do still end up in tears sometimes but at least I get my point across. Unfortunately I think DS (AS) has inherited this from me and he cries easily and at 10 he is starting to get called cry-baby. I really feel for him as I know there is no way to turn it off when it comes! (incidentally I have never been diagnosed but having researched AS I am sure I have a lot of the symptoms, especially social anxiety, and if ever I do any online AS tests I always come out quite heavily on the AS side) I don't think there is a fix, it's just the way we are. I think at 50 I'm too old to change now! Cheryl

Anyone needing pokemon ideas might like to try here. They have quite a lot of stuff. My DS is into it in a big way too and I have spent some time searching for ideas. Happy hunting! Cheryl

Hi, My OH, a techie whizz, says its not vital but that you realistically need an SD card as it doesn't have a lot of memory and some games can't save without it. Also if you get into the clever stuff of downloading classic games to the Wii from the web then they use it as well (as do gamecube games). (My son got into those pretty quick when he got his.) Your son will love it, mine spent 14 hrs on his last christmas day - we hardly saw him!!!!!!! (There is a feature which tells you how long they have been playing - useful as they lose all track of time otherwise!) Cheryl

Hi, My DS is 10 now and still rarely uses cutlery. We always provide it and sometimes he starts to use it, but much prefers his fingers. The only foods he will eat with a fork (luckily!) are spaghetti bolognese, roast potatoes in gravy and sausages. Sometimes I just have to not look, as mashed potatoes eaten with fingers can be pretty revolting to look at! I don't make a fuss, just a gentle reminder which sometimes works. Again I think its a sensory thing, he likes the feel of certain foods, and does it without thinking. He does try and use cutlery if we are out, and I sort of made an agreement that if he made the effort outside the home then I wouldn't nag him so much at home. He knows it's the right thing to do really but as there are so many pressures on him outside the home I do indulge him on this issue. We can't often sit down round the table as a family either as his range of foods is limited and my DH doesn't get home till 7ish, so DS tends to get his dinner on his own. I know it doesn't help but that's the way it goes. As Kathryn said, some civilisations, (and even ours, historically, what about Henry VIII?) eat with their fingers. I just figure that, as I know he can use them, and there isn't a physical problem, social pressures will eventually guide him in the right direction. He is doing so well at the moment and I know he works really hard to do the "right" thing where it matters (school, outside of home, visiting etc) that I let him relax as much as possible at home and chill out. I don't think it is a case of not expecting him to live up to his potential. It's just that sometimes living up to other peoples expectations of him takes a lot of control and effort and goes against his real nature. He needs to be able to drop that "facade" and chill sometimes otherwise he gets too stressed. Some things are not automatic to DS, even if he is capable he has to consciously think what to do in certain situations. I don't think conforming to "normal people's" expectations will ever come naturally to him, however much he "learns" the rules. I obviously encourage him to reach his potential in things that will facilitate a better future for him, such as academically, but he has enough social pressures to contend with so I am happy to relax on the cutlery issue for now. C x

Hiya. Andrew here! Been busy, what with Gang Show and Cubs and (Insert slightly naughty word here (Cuz I'm not the type of guy who swears )) HOMEWORK!!!!! !!!!! !!!!! !!!!! Anyway, bullying. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Well, there's a kid at my school who bullies me. One time, I was a friendship stop monitor at play time. He came up to me, and said, 'You're gay'. So I said 'Do you want a friend?'. And he said 'YES! I WANNA FRIEND YOU GAYLORD! GIMME A FRIEND I WANNA FRIEND!' ' I'm sorry but I can't just magic a friend out of nowher- OW! STOP SHOVIN' ME! OW! OI, STOP IT!' Then the whistle went. 'Well thanks for nothing GAYLORD!'. 'Ow. My ear. Too much shouting directly into it. Ow. Pain. WELL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR-RY!'. 'Gaylord'. He does it now, even when I'm not a FSM, but teachers say 'If you do that one more time, you'll go inside'. Yeah, OK, but it's the same the next day, and technically he has done it again! UGH! (Insert slightly naughty word here (Cuz I'm not the type of guy who swears )) Anyway as for your questions... 1. Bullying means picking on people over a period of time, i.e: daily, weekly. 2. Bullies think they're really tough in gangs, with friends which 'You don't got', etc, and pick on a certain person. 3. They're just scared inside, and want to act tough. Either that or they've just got nothing better to do. So there you go. On a side note, I think it's good to keep in touch with you, i.e: someone who is interested in my experiences. Thanks to Mummy for finding this site! Bye !

Pingu, I think it is very expressive and emotive. I think its great if you can express your emotions in this way, and I know from your postings that you've had a very tough time of it lately. I think if you write like this with passion, you can only reflect the way you feel at the time. No one can expect you to write a happy poem if you don't feel it at that time. One of my best poems was written when my dad died. I hope the day will come soon when you can write a poem with more positive emotions. Best wishes, Cheryl

Hi Retreat, Welcome to the forum <'> I don't think there are any limits of number of people in one family who can be affected by the autistic spectrum and similar neurological disorders. Since discovering my son has Aspergers about 6 years ago, I have researched it extensively and can see some aspects of it in myself (social difficulties - I was always on the "edge" of friendships, anxiety/depression (medicated), dislike of change etc) and I am convinced my father had it as well. My neice was diagnosed bipolar at age 18, my sisters grandson has OCD/AS-like symptoms but has not yet had a formal diagnosis, and my sister has some aspects of paranoid personality disorder. Sound like a right bunch, don't we! But my feeling is that all these things could be linked in some way, but I am no expert. Press on with the help for your son, he may get some benefit. For the older ones, including yourself, maybe just an explanation of why things have been difficult in the past might give you some comfort, I know I felt better in myself knowing things hadn't been my fault and that I wasn't a bad person, just misunderstood! There is definitely a lot more understanding and acceptance of AS now than there used to be when we were young (I'm not quite 50 yet, but not far off) I have found great strength and comfort from knowing how much I have helped my son. I feel I can see things from his point of view and help him to deal with others (to a limited degree, as my social difficulties don't help) I do think the "system" doesn't go out of its way to help, especially if you do help the kids a lot yourself. My son has not had any intervention at all, but he usually "appears" normal to others and I must say his schools have been fab. Next year is the big move to senior school though, so watch this space! Anyway, I wish you luck gaining support and understanding with your son, and hope you find inner peace. Best wishes, Cheryl

Hi Sally, I tend to agree that being open and discussing early is positive with young children. My son, now 10, just says he has been happy knowing what it is that makes him "different" as it explains why he sometimes feels out of touch, and seems to say the wrong thing. We just told him that when things sometimes went wrong for him, it wasn't really his fault, its just that his brain is wired a bit differently to other peoples. (The only thing to watch out for then is that its not used as an excuse for real naughtiness! ) We really plugged the positives, ie being clever, honest etc. and he is now almost proud to have it. We never spoke of it as a disability, just a difference, and, after all, everyone is different in some way or other. He must have been about 5 when we explained it to him (having researched it quite a lot myself beforehand). When he got to about 7 and his classmates were finding his manner a bit "odd", I asked the teacher to explain AS in simple terms and that worked well. Most of them were quite understanding. Have you read "Can I tell you about Asperger Syndrome? - A guide for friends and family" by Jude Welton ? It explains AS in simple terms and is helpful to share with friends and family members (and school teachers) who need to understand your boy, and may also have bits you can use to explain to him as well. Cheryl

Hi Catfish, welcome to the forum I'm fairly new here myself. I don't have AS (although I can identify with some aspects of it, I'm not a social animal and I'm very shy too) but my 10 yr old son has it and I have researched it to enable me to understand him and help him to understand me (and the rest of this strange world)! You'll always get a warm welcome here and just ask anything you want - somebody will probably be able to help. Cheryl

Pokemon, youtube (watching people playing pokemon and listening to the tunes from pokemon games!) and other characters from nintendo games. I think its due to the very visual nature of games and youtube - He thrives on visual input and learns more when he can "see" a situation. He is definitely at his most "chilled" when doing these activities, though! (And conversely most stressed when he has to stop doing them for something horrible like Homework!!) Cheryl

Hi Sally, Welcome to the forum. <'> Not been here long myself but have found everyone very helpful and welcoming. I have a 10 yr old boy with Aspergers and have read many books on the subject and am trying my best to understand and support him. We have had our ups and downs but I have found the more you can understand about AS the more you can help them to try to cope in a very strange and scary world. Any questions just post and I'm sure you'll get lots of helpful advice... good luck in your journey of discovery! Cheryl

Hi. OK, gotta make this quick, I'm going to gang show auditions soon Happiness is: Beating a boss on a game , Cuddling with mummy , Being praised for work , and school holidays . Sadness is: Falling out with a friend , Pooping myself , Getting a game over , and having to do STUPID HOMEWORK ! Pant...Pant, whew, OK bye! Andrew

Hiya! Good news, two bits actually! One, my tooth came out, and two, I'm gonna be in the Gosport Gang Show with the cubs and scouts! As for your questions, I think they tease me because I think and say things very differently, and sometimes they make fun of my voice (What? I can't help it when it gets really high and squeaky when I'm excited, scared or worried!), and mainly because I get upset easily. IT DRIVES ME ROUND THE BEND, UP THE WALL AND BACK ! What do I like about science? WHAT DO I LIKE ABOUT SCIENCE? Say, what do I like about science? (Cue fanfare and audience rolling on floor laughing). But seriously, I'm not sure. I guess the concept of 'getting scientific' and doing experiments just generally appeals to me. Anything else you wanna know, just let me know (Cue 2nd fanfare and 2nd round of audience rolling on floor laughing)! See ya ! P.S: Ya, I changed to ! You like it? P.P.S: I like french fries (Cue 3rd fanfare and 3rd round of audience rolling on floor laughing) P.P.P.S: Yes, I'm putting a lot of humour in this one. Sorry. If you don't find it funny, i'll just edit it out.

shuttlecocks!

Hey. Andrew here, and I sometimes do find it hard. Mainly because of 5 main things... Swimming Football, Netball and Basketball RE (I'm non-religious) HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!!!! and teasing... When people tease me (or I fall out with a friend), I just lose my pride, and it 'throws me off track'. They tease me by making fun of my hair (Gingernut, gingernut!) , by stalking me , and by generally just saying nasty things to me. When I grow up, well, I'm a bit about it, you know? There's 1 thing for sure though, and that is that it will involve science or computers ! Ooooooooooooh... (I've got a really stubborn loose tooth...Ooooooooooh...) Check ya later dogfish !