joanne1

I'm glad you said that. Would staff be interested do you think? I assume you work in a school. I can relate to it, my ds is excluded nearly every week Joanne

I found this report quite interesting, and I wondered how many people can relate to it. I hope the link works I havn't done it before! http://www.treehouse.org.uk/files/treehous...eport_FINAL.pdf Joanne

I joined on here in January before ds was dx. I always knew there was something different about him but didn't know what. He is 13 and was dx in March. It has been about a year and half since anyone professional suggested the autistic spectrum to us. I have to say I didn't even know there was a spectrum. I always thought of autism as rain man! But for a year of waiting to be dx, and having the word 'autism' in my mind was hell. Very emotional and upsetting and wondering about it. Being told that yes it looks like he is on the spectrum but having to wait for such a long time was awful. I found this site and was so glad even though we at that point weren't dx. It made me feel not so alone, and kept me sane. I didn't self dx my son so I don't fall in that slot but I posted before dx and am glad I did. This site and peoples kind words helped me so much, as I was in turmoil.

Camhs dx him and I am expecting report from them next week. They rang me the other day and said I should get it next week as school need it too. So I could send that as soon as I get it. Well a copy of it anyway.

I did wonder if they explore it all before coming to a decision. Which i suppose is better than not looking into it. I havn't spoken to school about it, as I didn't realise I needed to. TBH they can only say the difficulties at school can't they. Which are plentiful, aggression, violence and refusal. I am not sure what else they could say. Should I have a word with them? Joanne

I received a letter from DLA today. It has been about 5 and half weeks since we applyed. It was to say that they can't give a decision yet because they have requested a report from school. Is that good news or bad? Not done this before, so I just wondered if thats the norm! Joanne

Hi everyone, Thanks Karen for the good luck, I read it before we went but didn't have time to reply. Parent partnership came with me this morning to the meeting, to clarify things abit and find out what is actually going to happen. Also to make sure that their Autism outreach was involved actively. I'm not sure senco liked it much though. Heres the situation, He gets a lesson out a day as I have already said in learning support. I think it works out at about 6 hours a week. This is still happening. They have applied for taps funding for 12 hours TA support. Hopefully they should hear something soon as apparently they look at taps every week, I think its because its emergency funding. If we get that amount that will be better as in some lessons he will have someone there just for him. When asked about autism outreach they didn't know if Ds had been seen, but he has. There has been no feedback from them, this was about 5 or 6 weeks ago. Autism outreach said ds needs alot of help and needs working with and was putting him as a priority case, because of behavioural difficulties and repeated exclusions. No one has heard anything since so parent partnership advised them to get in touch with her and find out what is happening. Apparently schools outreach only comes in occasionally, so I don't know what will happen with that. IMO if they need to work with DS, then do it! Lady from PP also said that outreach could help with getting the teachers together who teach him and giving them understanding on how to approach ds and manage him. School did say though that teachers won't use their lunch times or do it after school because they want to go home. I think sometimes the problem is that some teachers don't want to know. Ed psych did a seminar on Ds a year ago to show his teachers ways of dealing with him etc and 2 teachers turned up. Not alot when you consider it is secondary school and he has how many teachers teaching him. For the first time today I havn't had 'We can't have children like this in our school, he has to behave.' Which was pleasing, I have to say. His pastoral manager said that his behaviour has esculated but she knows it is situations that trigger it. But also said that if she told some teachers how to approach him etc, it doesn't mean they will listen. It was nice to hear someone say it isn't all his fault. She did say to ds today that in lessons if something happens and he gets angry, to just walk out and go to her or learning support. So I hope he can do that as it will stop the disruptions in class. He is allowed to walk out and say nothing to the teacher if he is upset or angry. I hope that they do get in touch with their autism outreach and work out strategies and things because that could make a difference if they put things in to place for him. Maybe they will now that I have taken someone in with me. It may get them to realise that things have change for him. Fingers crossed. Joanne

I have posted a reply about him not having IEP. You must have missed it as you sent yours. They have always refused to do anything with him until dx. It has been a battle for a year and half. All I got was we cant give him help because if he does'nt get a dx it will have been a waste of time and funding, as we would have to take it off him. At the end of the day they have fobbed me off with a load of rubbish. They wouldn't apply for funding for him to get any help as we weren't dx. But i jave learnt on here you don't have to be dx to get help. I think they want him out so they put not a lot of effort in to him.

Hi Karen, I have downloaded the ace pack, so will look at that later, and have had a look at the letter for applying for SA. Ds is 13, doesn't have IEPs but has been on SEN for as long as I can remember. He is on school action+ for social and behavioural difficulties and emotional behaviour and difficulties. We were dx in March, with ASD. I have rang parent partnership and they are going to get someone to phone me. School were supposed to be applying for statement as soon as we were dx. I filled my bit in, but as far as I am aware, up to the holidays they hadn't gone any further. LA are going to send me some info on applying myself, if school havn't. What do you think? I will ask tham on Wednesday if they have done it yet, but I expect they will say no. Joanne

Hi Sally, To answer your questions, yes he does cope when he is in learning support far better than in lessons. He has seen the ed psych twice. We have a report from the first time he saw ds. The meeting is to get him back in school, nothing formal. HT will be there, pastoral manager and deputy head. Ds has low IQ, so doesn't do too well in school. But then has never had any help all the way through school. He cannot carry out instructions if you give him more than one, and you have have to say it short and sweet. Dyspracsia was mentioned when dx but on that day was only dx with ASD. Writing skills are very poor for his age and he doesn't ask for help much I don't think. He doesn't have very good social skills, and when he does talk, more than often sounds abrubt, which doesn't go down too well. But that is just the way he talks. He doesn't like to be physically touched, we have to warn him if we are going to straighten his collar or something. If we don't he gets aggressive. This is why he is excluded, the teacher grabbed his phone from him and it caused chaos. I have rang parent partnership and they are going to get someone to phone me. You have to be statemented to get in our Enhanced resource schools apparently. Joanne

Thanks everyone for the advice. I know we all have problems at school but ds is on the verge of permanent exclusion. Although to be honest I don't think the school do enough for him, and his needs. Even now they just expect him to be like everyone else in school. I am going to ring parent patnership in a minute and see what they can tell me. Karen A, When you say get in touch with LA. Do you mean our local council? Sorry for asking but I am not sure. If it is who do I ask to speak to? Please let me know. I have tried to keep things on a 'friendly basis' with school but I can't carry on like this. We have a meeting on Wednesday morning to get him back into school. Should I be asking what strategies they are going put into place for him. Like their approach to him etc. I feel like they don't treat him how he needs to be treated and this causes or helps to cause his behaviour. They said they were now applying for a statement, this was 5 weeks ago. I filled my bit of the form in but up to the holidays I don't think they had done anything else. I need to know what they are doing because the situation can't go on the way it is. Since dx early March he gets one lesson a day in Learning support. He doesn't cope with school or lessons but he is then expected to go to all his lessons and be like everyone else. I feel like I need to say 'this isnt enough, its not working. In fact everything is the same as it was, apart from one lesson out'. Joanne

Ds is going back to school on Wednesday as he is excluded for the first 2 days. I am dreading it, more than words can say. He is constantly in trouble for behaviour and now they exclude him for everything. He never complains about going to school but I am anxious and stressed at the thought of it. It will be a day or 2 if I am lucky before something will happen. They are on the phone and I have to fetch him and then be told he is excluded for a day or two and they will let me know what they have decided 'but its not looking good'. Does anyone have success in large secondary school? Does anyone have success in any secondary school? It makes me feel ill, as it is a constant issue and I am so stressed all the time. It has got to where I don't even persue my own hobby anymore and feel I need to give it up as I can't do it enough. I am stuck by the phone waiting for the next call or waiting to see what is happening. He is excluded every other week and I feel like a prisoner in my own home. Joanne

Thats really nice of them to say that. It must be great to comments like that. Really pleased for you! It makes a nice change that school can be good. Joanne

Ds 13 dx ASD in March. Has behavioural problems. Today in lesson his phone was bleepng with low battery so he switched it off. Teacher took it off him, or grabbed it as he said. I asked if she asked him for it first and he said no she just grabbed it from him. So he followed her to get it back. He said he was just switching it off. She wouldn't give it to him so he went to the table to get it. She jumped in front of him as he was trying to get it and he bumped into her. I had to go and get him from school and was told that he swore at her. I know he shouldn't swear and should have just left the phone until later in the day. But I knew as soon as he said she just took it that would trigger him. At home we cannot approach him physically, if his collar is not right on his shirt I would have to ask him if I can sort it out. If i just went up to him and did it without warning he flips. So I knew this would have made him angry that she took it from him. Although he didn't push the teacher purposely, with his hands out to push, the fact that he 'barged' into her means he pushed her. Ds said he was getting his phone and she came in front of him which means he bumped into her. He has been excluded for tomorrow and they are letting us know if it is permanent, as he has 'assulted staff'. But he didn't purposely go out of his way to push her and they know this but all the same it means he pushed her. I asked him what would have happened if she had asked him for the phone and he said he would have given it to her. My problem is, although he behaves wrong and I don't condone it, it wouldn't have happened if he had been approached correctly. As i said we can't physically approach him, he can't bear it. I am not sure whether i should just let them exclude him or be on the phone telling them that approached him wrongly and the situation could have been avoided. I know he has challenging behaviour and it must be difficult for them sometimes but he is my son and has gone through life with difficulties at school especially and it is only recent that we now know why. Things were never going to change over night but I think we have run out of time at school. They were going to exclude him permanently the day we were dx and i think it was that, that actually stopped them as it would look bad on them. They now have an excuse to get rid of him. Advice please!!! Joanne

I know how you all feel. My son is 13 now but he never went to a party either. It is upsetting for us no matter what. But ds was also the only child in primary school who never went on a school trip. He had been put in the behaviour book too many times. You were only allowed 3 times. I think this broke my heart more than being invited to a party. Even now it upsets me that he has been treated by school as he was. Joanne