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Thanks for the replies!! Lots to think about, the school term has gone back after October Holidays. I've decided to wait and as soon as another incident of bullying happens I'm going to go up to the school and ask or some help for B. This is something B has agreed to as well which is what I wanted. Thanks for the support.

It's been a while since I was here!! We are beginning to experience the wrath of prepubescent girls, who are at the the top of the social ladder and even thoughs at the bottom clammering for some status. Our very naive, passive AS girl is really struggling, they are whispering about her at the lunch table, encouraging the younger girls to do this to. She is often told she is stupid, there is sneering, she is told she smells, they have sprayed deoderant cans in her face(she has told them she doesn't like the smell of perfume). She use to go to a local youth club and scouts which she enjoyed but not now, its too much. She is in a small school yet this manages to happen when the teachers aren't around. B uses a emotion sheet to talk to teachers but often doesn't know how to explain it or why this is happening. I don't want to race up to the school, she has to learn to cope a little with this because secondary school is going to be awhole lot tougher. Anyone know of some helpful tips/books/workbooks.? How have other parents helped their kids? How did they deal with the bullying issue? Thanks for reading !!

Hello Your description of your dd is like a mirror of my own dd. She was dx back in December, we too played the dog game, let me be your puppy mum, this game went on for 4yrs it was the only game she enjoyed!!! Now she has an obsession about dogs and knows alot about dog breeds she spends alot of time matching people she knows to the right dog breed!! AH but we love her!! She's wacky and grand!! If your gut tells you something isn't quite right then the best thing for your little girl is to get professional help. Good luck!!

Hi This post really makes you think of what can be achieved for kids on the spectrum. That with time and love kids on the spectrum can really do well!! You must be very proud!!

Hi Findng out your child has autism is major! And it makes all of us look at the future with fear and we all grieve for the what may have been, so you are completely normal!!! Give your self time to grieve, do you have a good friend who can offer a listening ear. <'>

Hi I am beginning to doubt that my DD has AS, she was dx in Dec. We have had so many people doubt the dx I can't help but feel their right. Her ability to socalise for much longer periods of tme has got much better, her need for the same routine is still there but she managed on school trip for two days with no help. Teachers think I'm mad, friends say she s much better she was also recently diagnosed wth Dyslexia and the interventon for this has taken away so much frustration. Could this just be dyslexia? She has always been biddable and a model pupil at school but not so at home.I feel confused and unsure don't want my daughter to given a diagnosis unnecessarily. Anyone else wth passive girl who hides problems and gets by.

Thanks for your replies. This site really leaves you feeling less like the lone ranger and part of a cool support network

WOW, WOW Big Big step!!!!! WELL DONE Well done Mum and Dad!!!!

Best laugh I've had all day!!!!

Hello, Feeling deflated and stressed and it's only two weeks back to school, daughter recently went to physio, told she has hypermobility of joints in hips,knees, wrist, fingers have now been sent to OT for urgent referral for assessment for aids for handwriting. So yet more to add to the list Went to school for mid term parents evening deputy head has never fully believed diagnosis. She kept telling us how wonderfully verbal she was and how she was such a nice girl, i felt like shouting I didn't realise to have aspergers you had to be mean and mute. Just because she is passive and non disruptive, yet still has lots of difficulties. Fed up trying to educate people, even with a diagnosis it doesn't mean they believe it.

Hiya Our daughter is mad about animals in particular dog breeds, she can spot dogs in the street and tell you their breed, she is computer mad has played the sims for 5yrs!!!

Hi I thought it would be interesting to hear about how siblings cope with living with there sister/brother with AS. We have two girls 9 & 7 our youngest has been having a really hard time lately. Often she thinks we love her AS sister more because she is more demanding of our time. I think she is more annoyed at sisters behaviour, as she shouts at people alot and finds it hard to play for any lenght of time. She hasn't any patience with her anymore and although understands she has AS, I think she gets really hurt by the things B says to her and the fact she lives in a house which is in constant turmoil. Does anyone know of some books which explain things abit more? How do you make them feel special and loved too, while spending most of the time coping with behaviour?

Hi, Thanks for all your replies, I think you're right, all Brony plays with is the Sims game on the computer, so who cares. Spinning tops here we come loud and proud. Cheers

Hi there Really agree with the other reply, behaviour is often for a reason, it's almost like a valve or cry for help, it always serves a purpose, I try to keep words to a minimum. In the past we have found that the behaviour can be linked to things which are not necessary linked to future events but past events too. Calming him down is vital, when he is throwing a meltdown he's not hearing or seeing you he's on his own emotional ride. TRY PRESSING HIS SHOULDERS DOWN PILING CUSHIONS ON TOP OF HIM COVERING HIM WITH A BLANKET GET HIM TO BOUNCE ON A GYM BALL POP BUBBLE WRAP/ STAMP ON BUBBLE WRAP USE A PUNCH BAG OR PILLOW SCREAM WITH HIM ( YOU'LL BOTH END UP LAUGHING!) RIP PAPER COVER HIS HEAD WITH HAT TO BLOCK OUT SENSORY THINGS CHEW ON CLOTH, WINE GUMS. ALWAYS USE THE SAME PHASES E.G YOUR RED BEAST IS TOO BIG WE NEED TO CALM HIM DOWN. This type of language is also non blaming!! I really think this is really important. My advice would be when you have the time spend it talking about how your body feels when you are mad, how you feel at the beginning, middle and end of anger. Tell him it's ok to be mad but there are things even when mad which he can't do also it's not good to store it up, his bag of worries or anger will only get bigger. Talk about having a word or sign to let you know he is beginning to feel out of control, this takes time to achieve remember. It is really important everyday to set aside some time to discuss the day, ask, how did that feel, use visual imagery, tell him how you would feel if this happened to you. Remember AS is a communication disorder often drawing the emotion is easier than verbalising it. My daughter has threatened sister with a knife, she has hit our dog with fire shovel, kicked holes in bedroom wall and pulled locks off doors!! So we have lots of experience with rage. REALLY RECOMMEND a book called The Big Red Beast by Jessica Kingsley, read this to your son, set up a calming down corner, praise him for using it and don't reprimand him for not. Just keep plugging away. My daughter now uses a keyring with visual emotions on it and can ask for space before the rage, took 6 years and she can't do this all the time but compared to before this is a MASSIVE achievement. Still damages the house but doesn't hit people so often. Good Luck If all else fails use the techniques on yourself!!! WE have all sat and cried, thinking what am I going to do, but you will keep going, you will be ok!! Promise.

Hello Needs some advice, My dd is 9:9months dx with AS. We went to a friends house recently and their little boy has a spinning top, the old fashion metal type, my daughter played with this toy for most of the visit, 4hrs!!!! She has been badgering me for one of these spinning tops ever since. Should I relent and let her have one and have to deal with yet another obsession, I also know how happy it makes her. I find it really hard to work out what's best, she so often buys toys mean't for babies and I don't want her to be even more socially removed from her peer group. Most of my pals friends are listening to music and talking about pop stars and fashion. Need some advice on this one, thought this, was the place to talk about it, as could you imagine most parents wouldn't understand!!