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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team

dekaspace

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About dekaspace

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  1. Ok so I started a simple discussion on a website I mentioned before, que one of the regular guys who loves to think hes clever saying his was X opinion, I ask him to explain why and just got back "because its my opinion" so I give him a few questions to why he thinks that trying to be careful what I say as this guy always twists things and he still did that challenging my opinion as wrong and trying to get across only his opinion is right, and saying what I found mildly offensive opinions till eventually I said he was stirring things and he was like "no im not, I demand an apology" and how I was the one stirring as I couldn't handle other peoples opinions even when they were valid (shows the attitude he has) each time trying to make himself seem to be more and more morally superior. I have been very ill the last week and had enough and threw my keyboard at screen shattering it, so now have a broken screen due to this guys attitude. I did get agressive back and said im blocking further communication with him and some colourful words, im expecting him to justify that as me being a terrible person and him calm and intelligent.
  2. Saw someone say something very offensive last week online and it was a normal friendly board but after I mentioned it everyone backed me up as it was a board about Japanese tv. Someone went "you can never be as autistic as to commit genocide because you are jealous" On another board though it is trolls someone put a matchstick man and respose of "autistic yelling" for winding someone up they thought was whinging.
  3. Interestingly enough I was on one of my regular forums over last few days asking for advice on my occupational therapist as I thought she was being quite agressive/intimidating as despite knowing I have MH problems and a family member murdered 12 years ago, people kept turning round to me and saying I was whinging and lazy etc just because I said I wanted to improve my life in steps as it was almost impossible overnight. They kept claiming I was using my autism as a excuse to say what I wanted but that wasn't true, I kept trying to explain that the reason I mentioned it was because it was part of the problem, and that I have already attempted to change my life for over a decade and kept failing so the advice (if you can call it that) I have heard so many times before and was trying to find a compromise. I.e I said I was shocked my OT wanted me to get up 8am every day, only home cook and it must be healthy foods, not touch a computer and even not use a tv unless I have to, oh and things like I must shower and make bed as soon as I wake, make sure hair is brushed etc. They replied why didn't I listen to the OT as she was giving me good advice and therefore I didn't want to change. Except what kept on saying was that I was trying to reach a compromise, get up at 11am and after a month or so cut it down by 30-60 minutes It ended up people calling me lazy as they get up around 7am every morning for work and how easy it is even if they are tired, even saying if I can't sleep all night and finally fall asleep at 7.30, get up at 8 so I keep a routine despite me saying even with about 6 hours sleep I am a danger to myself and others tripping over my own feet and walking into traffic as my coordination is off if I dont get a full nights sleep, and often when cooking I cut myself or burn myself because of same reasons. It has ended up people calling me a slob, and just wanting attention! I can't seem to find many forums around that have active responses hence I post there, the maddening thing was it was a disability subforum of a large website so I thought people there would understand.
  4. I have mental health problems (though doctor and occupational therapy think its more linked to routine) its more I feel miserable most of the time and don't want to leave the house and even 5 minutes walk to bus stop is a struggle and when I do the buses take so long due to route, for example 9 miles from me is a £4 carvery, 25 minutes drive by car, if I got bus not counting waiting for connections or late buses would be about 1 hour 20 minutes, to go to city which is 40 miles away by bus (which I have a bus pass) about 2-2 and a half hours, 40 minutes by fast train but thats £10 return. I live in a area with a lot of beautiful small towns, museums and countryside but to get anywhere buses go round housing estates, routes with traffic and instead of a straight line they go around (in the housing estate as I said before way) Also a car is less hassle, theres a lot of Sunday Market/boot sales near me and I could drive them them and get bargains, cheap food etc and have a day out. If so a smart car may be the best. So is a car a good idea? I am 34 and never owned a license, saved up about 7 thousand pounds (which is a problem since benefit limit before getting it lowered is six thousand) The main reasons for not getting one before was more the anxiety over driving, I am the sort of person who is anxious about a task until I learn it (so learn slower) once I learn I am better than average.
  5. No this is spread out over various forums, one of them similar to what has been mentioned before is very strict on most things but things like autism are given a a free ride to be ridiculed. I have been modded on that site in past for calling someone a troll (but saying their argument sounds like trolling isn't modded insults have to be direct) or calling someone a idiot who was calling people on benefits lazy, uneducated etc yet he was allowed to say that.
  6. Killed By A Train Because of AS

    Actually when my brothers fiance was killed and fingers were (wrongfully) pointed at my brother they printed address though that may be different though they later mentioned whilst the invesigation was taking place he was staying at a homeless hostel in town (even gave name) cue my brother being beaten up by vigilante members of public who only had the drips of false information by the media. That was what changed me from a career in media to general film/radio to later IT, I lost my respect for journalists printing whatever they wanted.
  7. Was just on another forum where someone said something and someones response to another person was "that comment is autistic" I reported the comment only for the mods to message me back saying its not offensive.
  8. Thought I made a thread about this before but can't find it. But noticed more and more online whenever someone doesn't like another person, they automatically call that other person autistic. To break it down its more like if they have a different opinion to someone and think they are right and the other person is stubborn they call them autistic/autist because the stereotypes of people with autism not knowing social norms. Or if they think someone shows obsessive behaviour. Or if they are talking to someone that is sensitive Or if they are talking to someone who has different tastes like a kid who likes cartoons and toys whilst other boys like things like Call Of Duty or Grand Theft Auto, so its a variation on what used to call someone a "wimp" I have even heard insults like "stop acting/being like an autist" Its shocking how people can act like that in this day and age. Just thought I would share and get other opinions.
  9. Why do so many Aspies 'look Autistic'?

    I did have questionable personal hygine when younger, even now I don't always brush my teeth but gone the opposite way with cleanliness i.e shower every day and can't function without it. I do wear clean or cleanish clothes in the sense I can wear something for days as long as it doesn't smell but if I can I put it on washing line so if I don't go out for days it will be airing for days, if I do something intense like go to gym I don't use that t shirt again till its washed. In terms of fashion I did change in my twenties till a family death put me back to old ways, I was scruffy but neat when younger and now if you get what I mean. If not I mean I would wear like a shirt and trousers but the shirt was badly ironed and may be tucked in badly and maybe even buttoned up wrong, I would change the buttons if I noticed but things like tucking shirt in I would forget. And when I wash my clothes a quick wash can't be enough, it needs to be a long wash and handwashing is a no no unless I am desperate and even then I try and avoid doing it. Anyway from your own posts it reminds me of what people think about autistic people, you come across as I assume(or hope its an assumption) intolerant or at very least not understanding other viewpoints in the sense you have a "right and wrong" mentality to things and that it seems even more so that you are thinking (Again not in a intentional way) that theres a fault with the individual for not changing their ways even if you think the act they are doing is neither right nor wrong.
  10. Is my friend on the spectrum

    First off, he seems to have a very abrasive personality and seems to suffer a lot of stress and anxiety so its hard to tell if thats seperate. I moved in with him temporarily 6 years ago and noticed he was the stereotypical slob, he himself admits he hates changes to his routine, the house he lived was so dirty I spent 8 hours tidy, he smoked roll ups and made them by emptying contents of pouch onto table which also had coffee and cola stains, in the kitchen was 2 years worth of rubbish in bags, pots and pans not cleaned in 2 years, whenever he wanted to cook he picked up a dirty plate or pan and used it, his laminate flooring was damaged as he was so absorbed in using his pc he didnt notice a broken castor until I mentioned, the castor had broken months before. He admits he has no friends and struggles to make them, I did get him to go to his doctors about a aspergers assessment and he was told they wanted him to have more tests, but this is one of his major character flaws he can't be bothered to do anything as he finds changes stressful or no point to them. If someone argues with him he makes a nervous laugh and blocks out the world also does things like slur his speech and come across as if he is of low intelligence. He has terrible hygine, well he brushes his teeth but wears the same clothes for days that are years old, massive holes in them, hardly ever shaves, hardly ever showers, and when I lived with him and even when he visits me he complains when I clean saying "whats wrong with things" the floor could be covered in trodden in grass, dirt etc. When he visits he leaves my property as they say looking like a bomb site, beds unmade even sheets fallen off, dirty empties contents of his backpack onto floor, has empty food containers as he eats take aways, spilled drinks cans In living room I can havea empty take away containers on floor, empty crisp/sweet packets, empty beer cans, empt coffee mugs, he doesn't even clean up and just says he will do it later. He also has habits like walking very heavily on his heel so all I can hear is stomping, using excessive force on things like fridge and microwave doors to the point he has jerked microwave forward before (at which point he moans and says its my fault), earlier I noticed I spilled some food in microwave when I used it and wanted to wipe it up and he was moaning "its fine its fine, I just want my food" (like a kid) and huffing and puffing and speaking loudly about me getting in his way last week we went for a drive as first time I have seen him since he bought a car he got so confused as wasn't used to town rounds (as he lives in countryside) he was basically muddling his speech and almost crashed changing lanes, then when we got to pub to get a meal he was so confused (like you expect someone who has a stroke to have, not meaning any offense) He also seems to have hearing problems, I can play something at a low volume and he will say its loud and its making him stressed and have a headache, but then when he watches or listens to something its loud as he says he can barely hear it (seems more to do with sound vibrations than actual volume) He can also wake up at the slightest sound or something like me tiptoeing about going to toilet at night. Its hard to tell if hes a slob, has anxiety/depression, is on the spectrum or a mix but considering his own doctor wanted him to get assessed for it I say he has signs Thoughts?
  11. I was having a argument with someone who showed a lot of signs of autism, and yes I was a little angry but all I said was he was basing everything he believed on logic and in denial of other peoples feelings so was a sign of autism. He started going on about how ignorant I am of autism (turns out he is a university student who does research) how disgusting I am for not undestanding mental disorders. I turned round and said I was offended by him calling it mental disorder and his argument back was "well thats how its defined in books" I found this guy so arrogant but he then went on to say I know nothing about autism and he has done volunteer work with autistic kids therefore knows everything about it. So his entire arguments seemed to be he reads books and studies therefore is the master in things, any disagreement meant I was ignorant or offensive! Just wanted opinions.
  12. DWP can get stuffed

    So you no longer have a keyworker/advocate? I had my social work support cut, and in last few years lost my funded support workers and even recently they closed local autism group and local council refused to fund it.
  13. I often get angry at the way people treat me, even if I mention autism it in fact makes things worse as they either accuse you of lying or still treat you like a "normal" person as if it is just a label. As in the context I mention I have noisy neighbours who have kids, do diy, and wake me up as early as 7am and they complain if I make any noise after 7pm. Further context is that they say as they have kids its impossible to keep to a routine so they can't stop them playing at 7am, yet as I am an adult any noise I make can be controlled and further to that any potential noise such as me using washing machine or hoover can be done earlier in the day (regardless of the fact I could be at work) This isn't them saying that its when I asked about what kind of noise level is acceptable to have around neighbours and people basically made out that noise kids make is acceptable, but no matter what I did was never tolerable, I had to conform to no noise after 7pm and accept noise from them 24/7 and any thing from me was unreasonable. I can adjust the argument for things such as political correctness, I make a innocent comment with no malice and even be careful what I say and someone will take offense and then play the sexism/racism/homophobia card (disregarding things like me personally being bisexual, foreign grandparents and had gender identity issues in the past) but people find some way to snap and if again I mention the autism they say its no excuse. So people play a card of their own and a genuine thing I have is never even noticed.
  14. I have discussed this in past, but the 2 forums I had problems with have calmed down apart from one or two flare ups, Having one right now, I mention a simple issue I am having for people to basically saying stuff like "you fail at life" and how I was talking """ and it must be because of my autism (as I told people on board before about it) so thats the first major insult. Then other people come on and say I have a history of nonsense so its probably me getting confused (which is insulting in its own way) Not a single reply was nice it was all blaming me for the thing I talked about and people swearing more and more until one came on who was nasty in the past and claims my parents were criminals (he said that in past) and making fun of me/acting like I am strange as I freeze all my leftover food and reheat it and that includes takeaways (his response months ago was that was dirty and why can't I buy another unless I am dirty, greedy, or a povvo (as in poor/poverty) He then claims I keep inventing stories to get attention and I am a troll. Meanwhile no mod on that website has even moderated any of the reponses and when I queried it they just said they didn't see what the problem was (despite outright the person mentioning my disablity as reasons for me speaking """ and his words "screwing up at life") or the people who swore and censored themselves or said I was a liar, and on fine lines of calling me offensive words. Just thought I would share here.
  15. For me as a kid I always had a sensitve sense of smell, as in I associate specific smells with happiness not sure if thats due to memory or not but my parents house has a distinctive smell as its a little damp and dusty, and as they live in the countryside theres a smell to that too. But at same time if I went to a generic countryside the smell could be just that little different due to things like trees it wont evoke the same things. My home town has a little smell to it but not much but the first town I lived when I left home has a very distinctive smell i.e I thought of it as kinda like fresh cooked cookies or at least something like musty burning wood. Hard to tell what part of that is nostalgia and what part is logical as even as a kid or when I left home I noticed certain smells more than others and that every town had its own distinct smell (obviously things like traffic, factories and shops play a part. So even now I notice those smells and it confuses me as my brain automatically sees that as a distinctive nice smell. Secondly is music, I used to play video games as much as 9/10 hours a day at weekends or holidays and in school time about 3-4 hours in a evening though did vary if there was something on tv I wanted to watch as not just the game but the music stimulated me that was like I liked role playing games as you had sad scenes and music to match and action scenes to pump you up. This translated to movies somewhat, no matter if a action movie, weepie, comedy you had music to match, id rather watch a boring movie with 10 minutes of pumping action than just watch that 10 mintues action as it built me up so I assume gaming is similar. Reason for these posts is that I don't play games much anymore due to just being low, but I ahve mixed thoughs on I am feeling low as nothing to pump me up, movies now as mad as a ASD person is saying this have no attention span its just constant in your face CGI, music (often heavy and unsuited to the scene) so no build up, I prefer older movies but have seen them so many times. Thoughts on this?
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