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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team

lisa2701

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About lisa2701

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  1. Would just like to quickly update. Its a Christmas miracle, all of a sudden my husband is on board with restricting the time spent on computers. I decided I was going to restrict it whether he liked it or not so instead my usual 'will you back me up' conversation I just said 'this is my plans, he'll still get time on it, just not as much, I want him to spend more time with us as a family and I'm sick of having tantrums when he's out the house as he wants home to play computers'. I gave him a couple of days past Christmas to play his new games and then before I knew it my husband was telling him to switch it off and come and play board games/watch a movie, or whatever. I'm in bed ill today and was delighted to hear my husband insist he got out his room and off the computer and join him in the sitting room to watch a Disney movie despite the fact I wasn't even there! he's still getting a little too much time on computers but we've taken a huge step in the right direction and its a foundation on which we can build!
  2. My sons speech is very good now, he's able to form words and is reasonably articulate. He had intensive speech and language therapy from nursery up until p3 and what a difference its made. Id now say he talks quite formally, with an american accent, and is able to express his needs and wants well. He still struggles to find his words on occasions, more so if he's stressed, but overal his speech is very good. I'd say he sucks air through his teeth most when he's really excited trying to tell you something (usually when talking about his special interests) or if he's gotten himself angry or stressed and he's trying to explain something about it. Spoke to my mother about it today and she thinks its just a speech filler, like someone saying 'Emm' and before reading about mild vocal tics (only first discovered there was such a thing last night) I would have agreed but now I'm not so sure. That said, I haven't heard him do it once today!
  3. After reading another post about a child ticcing it has got me wondering about my own son. I didn't want to hijack the other persons thread hence I've created this one. My son is 8 and has autism and over the last 6-9 months he's started sucking air through his teeth between sentences and before he starts talking. The more excited or upset/frsutrated/angry he is the worse it seems. He's always struggled with finding his words also and often does this sucking a couple of times while he's thinking also. He also had this thing where he blows air out his nose causing a snorting sound, I've had him checked for adinoids and sinus issues but all was ok. I've never considered it to be a tic but then again I had no idea that things like throat clearing could be classed as a tic. I have never made a big deal out of it but have occassionally asked him to stop snorting as I find it difficult to cope with and he tells me he can't help it, I'm now wondering if either of these two things would/could be classed as a tic and he genuinely can't help it. If not are they just a behavioural habit he's gotten into? Either way advice would be appreciated.
  4. Sorry I havent replied quicker, been a busy couple of days. Have been giving a lot of thought to my dilema over the last couple of days and decided after Christmas and new year I am quite simply going to put my foot down and restrict my sons gamin to an hour a day on school days and two hours (split into two sessions) on non school days. I know 2 hours still seems a lot but its drastically less than currently. Santa will be bringing lots of board games so I am going to do my best to get engage my son in those. Also going to look into more clubs and groups for him to attend, have just learned about a sports centre in my area which is tailored for disabled children, and a judo class for children on the spectrum etc. If I can even get him involved in more activities like these I'd be less worried about him spending time on his computer when he's at home. Thank you Lyndalou for inspiration of going to see what clubs were about... no computers clubs that I am aware of so far. Special talent, yes we already have him games which require him to be out his seat and being more active, unfortunately these are the least used of his games, but he does already play the sims occasionally. Robert, my husband is somewhat affectionate towards me, although its not in his nature to be overly affectionate, even towards our son, but despite this I'd say we have a good relationship. We do go through times where I feel like we're living separate lives as we have such little common interests but over all I can't complain too much, we spend a lot of time together and he is very loving in his own way. Although I am not in a wheelchair my mobility is very poor and I walk with sticks most of the time. This means I can't really do an awful lot with my son outdoors as he is extremely emotional and when upset he has a tendency to take off and put himself in danger and obviously I can't catch him if he does, if not allowed to run off he fights and can become very aggressive and I struggle to cope with that alone these days as he's a big boy for his age (he's 8 but wears size 11 years clothes). He does occasionally read roald dahl books and things but its very much a last resort for him if he has nothing else to do. Like I said above, I am going to try and enrol him into as many clubs as I can. He currently goes to a social club for children with special needs and its taken him a long time to settle in but he now loves it and they have suggested trying him with some kind of martial arts as they have been doing some stuff with him and apparently he's very good at it. Merry Christmas everyone!!!
  5. Special talent thank you for your insight on this. I am genuinely interested in trying to understand and learn. I genuinely appreciate that areas of special interests are part of autism and I respect that, my concern is the fact that my sons obsession could be detrimental to his health and his social skills long term. I am frightened that he isn't getting enough exercise and I am also worried that a previous confident reasonably social little boy is now choosing not to socialise and is shying away and loosing his confidence. He used to want to go out to play and visit family members even if he didn't always cope with it, now he gets terribly upset if we have to go out. He also loves dinosaurs, he knows everything about them and I love the fact he will read abdinosaur encyclopaedia instead of a bed time book, I encourage him to learn and talk about dinosaurs, partly because its a refreshing change to computer games, and I was proud as punch when I arranged for him to meet a genuine palentologist and he sat talking dinosaurs with her and really knew his stuff (I didn't understand any of it!). Do you think that I am being unreasonable wanting to limit his obsessiveness? I would really like to help him to explore other things I think he would enjoy. I am not saying I never want him to play computer games again, I have come to the realisation that this is likely to be a life long interest for him, but I would like to help him gain control over how much it controls his life. His mind seems to race when he's thinking about and talking about computer games and he often talks about it at great speed, jumping from one thing to another without any clear transition hope that makes sense. Anyways, like I said I am trying to understand and get people's opinions on can an obsession just go too far and if it can how can I help my son regain control over it.
  6. Special talent thank you for your insight on this. I am genuinely interested in trying to understand and learn. I genuinely appreciate that areas of special interests are part of autism and I respect that, my concern is the fact that my sons obsession could be detrimental to his health and his social skills long term. I am frightened that he isn't getting enough exercise and I am also worried that a previous confident reasonably social little boy is now choosing not to socialise and is shying away and loosing his confidence. He used to want to go out to play and visit family members even if he didn't always cope with it, now he gets terribly upset if we have to go out. He also loves dinosaurs, he knows everything about them and I love the fact he will read abdinosaur encyclopaedia instead of a bed time book, I encourage him to learn and talk about dinosaurs, partly because its a refreshing change to computer games, and I was proud as punch when I arranged for him to meet a genuine palentologist and he sat talking dinosaurs with her and really knew his stuff (I didn't understand any of it!). Do you think that I am being unreasonable wanting to limit his obsessiveness? I would really like to help him to explore other things I think he would enjoy. I am not saying I never want him to play computer games again, I have come to the realisation that this is likely to be a life long interest for him, but I would like to help him gain control over how much it controls his life. His mind seems to race when he's thinking about and talking about computer games and he often talks about it at great speed, jumping from one thing to another without any clear transition hope that makes sense. Anyways, like I said I am trying to understand and get people's opinions on can an obsession just go too far and if it can how can I help my son regain control over it.
  7. P.S. My son is actually doing extremely well at school at the moment. He is in mainstream and is coping amazingly this year. He's started working independently for the first time ever, reads well beyond his years, and is near the top for all subject. A real academic little boy. That said, his social skills are very poor, and I can' find any mainstream clubs for him to join due to this, currently is attending a social club for children with disabilities to help socialise him. I don't really have anyone with space to take me and my son, and my husband has no friends and fell out with his family 4 years ago so he can't go anywhere. I have already considered this tactic.
  8. Hi Robert, thanks for your reply. Yes my husband works full time in a job that often calls for 12 hour shifts. He admits he uses gaming as a way of escape and to relax. I'll be honest, his time spent actually playing games at the moment isnt too bad, he will often wait until I've gone to bed or he'll get up earlier than me in the morning to have some time before I get up, but he does spend a lot of time on a gaming page on facebook, looking at games stores on line and searching ebay for deals, all of which he likes to talk to me about, despite the fact I have told him very bluntly that he has sickened me of anything gaming related. Currently, my biggest concern is my son. My husband is an adult, works hard and takes care of us well ( I am physically disabled), he has a lot on his plate and so if he needs gaming to help him relax then thats his decision to make, but I now feel he's encouraging obsessiveness with my son and that does concern me. I am the one dealing with tears, tantrums and meltdowns when my son can't go straight home from school to have his 'fix', I am the one who can't enjoy visiting family as my son spends the entire time complaining so he can get home, I am the one he wakes during the night to ask if its time he can play his games yet (I tried banning it in the morning but my authority around gaming doesn't exist due to my husband constantly undermining me), who can't have a conversation with my son without him turning the conversation to games and ultimately i am the one left feeling horrible after being blunt and telling an 8 year old that I no longer want to hear about computer games. I feel so guilty at that point, but theres only so much computer talk I can cope with. I really could go on and on and on about how much this is restricting our lives, I have an 8 year old who'd rather sit in room than go to the park. I have tried talking to my husband about it, there is no reasoning with him. I have gotten angry and told him that I refuse to loose my son and that if he won't support me I will have to leave him so that I can establish some kind of rules, i have tried showing him how much it upsets me by getting upset, I have taken him along to an ASD behavioural specialist and have him tell him that its not healthy and that my son needs to be given direction and encouragement to explore different things, none of it made any difference. It was then made worse as the psychiatrist who dx my husband told me (in front of hubby) that his obsessive behaviours and emotional outbursts were part of his Aspergers and I'd have to learn to accept and respect that! It became complete justification for his behaviour...the expert had spoken! I love my husband dearly, we have been through a lot together and we get on well for the most part but I am really fearing the negative impact such obsessive gaming is going to have on my son long term and feel my husband is working against me not with me.
  9. Hi everyone, Looking for some advice around obsessive interests. I have an 8 year old son with ASD and a husband with recently diagnosed AS. BOTH of them are down right obsessive about computer games and it appears that the older my son is getting the more they are feeding off each others obsessions. Last year my husband (against my better judgement) pushed (VERY hard) to buy our son a PS3 for his room. After months of arguing about it I gave in and allowed him to buy our son a ps3 for his room. Ultimately my husband is obsessed over the treatment of his own PS3 and my son was constantly dropping his pads, leaving his console on etc, this caused a lot of friction in the house, so my husband argued that it would alleviate the friction if no one else was touching his console. Fast forward a year and as predicted I feel as though I have lost my son to his bedroom, there is still tension in the house as now my husband has TWO consoles to worry over the safety/treatment of, BOTH talk obsessively about games and I don't seem to have a say in anything. I SO desperately want to really restrict time spent on the console, and I would remove the console completely if I had my way, but my husband just won't hear of it, he tells me I would cause our son too much distress and its totally unfair on him, and that there's nothing wrong with playing computers as much as he does which is pretty much all the time unless he's at school. He says that I'm just being over critical and paranoid. He also encourages our son to play older and older games by debating with me about how the age rating is to do with how hard a game is as well as the content of it etc but he does that in front of our son, as well as letting our son play things i've forbidden behind my back because he thinks I am being too strict. They both watch games being played on you tube as well, my husband is an active member of a playstations page, and they both watch gaming tv shows. They really do eat sleep and breathe gaming. I have a very good relationship with my husband (been together 9 years) with the exception of this one area and I have even considered leaving my husband just so that I can have full control over the computer games situation for my son. I feel like things are so out of control and my husbands obsessions are getting worse along with my sons. I have tried talking to him about it, getting upset, getting angry, telling him how I feel like I'm failing my son by allowing this obsessiveness. Its all they ever talk about, its all I ever hear about, and I am going insane with it. When I met my husband he was an active gamer, but he wasn't obsessive things seem to have gotten so bad and I don't know how to fix it. Also, my son's doctor wants me to remove his tv from his room to help with his sleeping but my husband won't allow it. I was hoping to get some advice on ways to help my husband see why obsessive gaming isn't healthy, and also get others thoughts on when, how, and should you draw a line and say enough is enough with regards to a special interest.
  10. Just thought i'd update and let eveyone know that S has been referred to CAHMs. Anyone know how quickly they are seeing people. I have heard they are doing initial assessments are being done quickly but then its taking a long time to see someone after that??
  11. Dark shine- I have received ur PM and will reply as soon as I have a computer at hand. For now I am not at home. X
  12. I am replying from my mobile so I will keep it brief for now. A family friend of mines is a psych nurse (specialises in schizophrenia and dimentia -sp??) but I went to him for advice and he gave me the number for CAMHs and told me to call them directly as the gp wa useless. The plan for Monday morning is to call gp back and ask for a referral. Depending on how that goes I will maybe call CAMHs directly. To contact the paediatrician that dx my son as I have her direct number and also to alert outreach to the new information as a friend of mine with an autistic son has suggested that they might have contact with CAMHs and could maybe contact someone??
  13. Thanks honey, I have Pm'd you. x
  14. A few weeks ago I posted about how my 7 year old autistic son was hearing voices. He is dx with classic autism, sensory hypersensitivity and hyperacusis. At that moment I was pretty unclear about what he really meant by that etc. I have alerted Autism outreach and the school about the situation but again had little info for them. Last night, I managed to get my son to talk to me about these voices and I am now left very scared. I will try explain, but bare with me as it all make very little sense... He says there are 6 voices. Each voice has a symbol (he says thats what they look like, but when I asked him if he see's things too he said no). There is 2 explanation marks, 2 question marks, and two full stops. He says the explanation marks are bad voices and always shout at him, and tell him to do bad things, like to pick his skin till he bleeds and smear the blood on the walls and doors, to break things, be rude to people (burp in their face) or to hurt people. He said they also tell him that if he gets a jag they will all go away, but if he gets two jags there will be more voices. I asked him where he'd get the jag from, and he said the vets. I said, the vets are doctors for animals and did he mean the doctors and he said, explanation mark said it was the vets! He doesn't say too much about the full stops or question marks, they don't seem to bother him so much. He said he likes the nice voices! He said he has tried to get the voices out of his body but they won't go away and that they keep him awake at night. I have called his Dr and I am waiting on her getting back to me, and I spoke to a GP yesterday who only offered to refer me back to the doctor he see's for his autism, but this was all before I got the information last night. I am really scared for him, he seems frustrated with the bad voices, but very matter of fact about them. Wondering if anyone has any thoughts or advice on this situation? A family friend who is a psych nurse has told me to call CAMHs directly and talk to them if my GP won't refer me. Do you think they would even entertain me if I did? Thanks in advance L x
  15. Thanks Sally, Based on recent behaviours in my son I would say he's going through a slight rough patch just now. By that I mean that normally speaking he copes well with daily life, going to school etc, however over the last few weeks he has been getting easily upset, resistant to go to school etc. however, he doesn't really have the comprehension levels to understand what we are asking when we ask about things that may be upsetting him. As you suggested I think I will get back in touch with the doctor who diagnosed him and see if she will see him, can make any suggestions or referrals. Thanks for that link i will go have a nosey at that now.