Tantaz

My gut feelng is to advise you that sometimes I think the Heads of school make you feel like they don't want the trouble of 'another' autistic child being at their school. I also find that some village school are worse as they don't really have many children there with difficulties and therefore not the expertise. If you feel that this could be the right place for your son, follow your heart and let him go there, at the end of the day, it is totally your decision as a parent so don't let the head put you off. They will probably get extra funding anyhow to accomodate any special needs children. At the end of the day, the teacher is there to teach also not decide which children she wants. If the TA's are with the children only in mornings then it might be that the TA might have to work more closely with your son, but again if he needs extra support this should be the way it is. Good luck with your search

I'm probably very similar to you, it seems to me that when ASD children get to high school, they want to make them 'big boys' and 'independant' and I for one do not agree with this. I guess there are some times when you have to establish when they are playing on it or when they really do need a big hug but I am totally like you and always make sure my son knows I love him and I'm not afraid to hug, hold his hand etc. I don't care, I wouldn't worry about what other people say, if that's how you want to nuture him that is up to you - your his mother and your the constant in his life. If one day he doesn't want to be hugged, held etc I'm sure he will say but I would say - you go girl and do what makes you and your son happy - you know him the best! Don't let them grind you down xx Tania

Hi Welcome to the forum, I am new to it myself and everyone has been really nice and great! Tania

I have told my son that I need to work to pay the bills, mortgage etc, and I am extremley worried that if he won't cope at school I will have to give up work. I am already getting DLA, but the money issue is a big worry for me, although this never compares to the health and welbeing of my son. There have been ongoin issues since he started going back to school e.g. bullying, etc. He said today that the reason he didn't want to go was because it was cooking so this afternoon, I have sat with him and asked him to write me a list of all the things at school that upsets him, he has done this and surprisingly it is generally ASD issues that he is picking up e.g. room too noisy, room too big, not enough help - hopefully he will go tomorrow - thanks for your help Tania x

Does anyone have any tips about how to get your child to school, mine is point blank refusing to go, still in his pyjamas and I'm at my wits end. I have to work to pay the mortgage as I'm a single parent but he just won't budge. I have taken his very 'special' DVD's and tele remotes away and absolutely nothing is persuading him to go. His counsellor recommends that while he's that distressed it's best to keep him at home but I believe children should attend school? If anyone has any suggestions I would be truly grateful Tania Mum to DS 12 yrs

Thanks guys for your help - what would I do without you!! Tania

Can anyone tell me what DS is abbreviated - I see people type it a lot and I have no idea what it means

I fully support this Sally. Some schools will just sit back and just dawdle along with things as they want it you really have to try and fight for what your child needs. I make a right pain of myself and they must get really fed up with me but who cares - my son is the most important thing in my world who has a statement and if this isn't adhered to, to my satisfaction then I must say something. Every time SALT, the School, ISSS delay in providing the support to your child, they will never get that back and it's gone. My sons high school have said to me recently 'we are worried that we can't meet his needs' which is really hacking me off - if they can't meet his needs then they should be calling an interim review to tell us this and to arrange other provision for my son. There again, is the school saying that we can meet his needs but we can't be bothered putting the extra effort in....I would love to be a fly on the wall in school - it would be an interesting experience I'm sure! Tania xx

Hi there Wildkat Welcome to the forum - I am new myself - be good to get to you know Tania

My son is exactly the same, he never wants to brush his teeth! My consultant at Birmingham Childrens Hospital suggested getting him to use a mouthwash, not a major thing I know but at least if he can swizz around his mouth with mouthwash it may protect his teeth a little. Also get some disclsoing tablets from the chemist - these are the ones that when you suck them the colour highlights where all the plaque is in the mouth - maybe that would encourage your son to brush more if he see's how much food is stuck on his teeth - good luck! Tania

Hi my name is Tania I have a 12 yr old son who has Aspergers syndrome. He is a lovely boy for which I am very proud. I am new to this forum and may gets things wrong in typing etc but I am always here for support or advice and will respond when I can. I hope to hear from some of you soon Tania

it does sound like they're not being very fair. What is your diagnosis as it seems the school needs to understand your needs a bit more?

I have every sympathy with you, my 12 yr old has just started doing this, first time back in April when he left home about 5.30am and walked a couple of miles into the local town where he ended up in the high st in tears. He was eventually found a by a decent member of the public going to work at 7.30am so they called the Police. I didn't wake up until 7.30am and he'd already been gone for 2 hrs and I had no idea! Unfortunately due to his lack of communication he couldn't tell the Police where he lived, it was only because I rang them up and reported him missing that they had just picked him up. He also tried to do it a couple of days ago - he escaped via his roof outside his window. I have now locked all windows and all doors at night time. He seems to do it for the same reason as your son, well he can't communicate very well. I totally empathise with you and for us mums it's a very touch and exhausting time. But luckily he is safe but it is a worrying time for you. Anytime you wana to get in touch, I'd be happy to chat - Good luck!! Tania

I am having problems with my sons high school too, so please keep strong - it is very frustrating at times, you feel like you have to chase people up to get them to do the right thing. Since the kids have been back at school, I have been on the phone constantly 'telling' them what they must do - and they are the learning base. Don't let them grind you down, you have to be strong for your boy. Tania