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Juls77x

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About Juls77x

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    Norfolk Broads
  1. Thanks Lynda, much apperciated! Jules x
  2. Hi, My son is almost 16 and exams are coming up and his anxiety has got a lot worse again. The thing is that he doesn't freak out, have panic attacks or refuse to go to school, he just feels extremely sick, he tells me he wants to go but feels awful (and I don't doubt this, he is a good kid, never in trouble and is as white as a sheet). After lots of physical hospital tests threw up nothing, it was decided he was suffering from anxiety but we have had little more advice than reduce stress where possible. He was eventually (at my instantance, why you need to push doc's when it is a 3 year problem is beyond my understanding) referred to Young Peoples Dept for counselling. I called in advance to ensure that the counsellor he would see had experience with children with Aspergers (as he would not understand normal counselling, it wouldn't make sense to him from what I have read. Also, from experience, our mental health dept is not the best and I wanted to be sure they helped rather than making things worse) I was assured they would be trained in how to help an aspergers child / teen, however, the counsellor's opening line was "I'm not trained in aspergers but have learnt about it since working here" and "this is my student (cue young female student), you don't mind if she sits in" ummmmm kjaisgdihageuidg\kiwdbka\jbhs... really, you clearly have no idea about a teen with aspergers, meeting you is hard enough, meeting two new people, one being a young female student, NO!!!!! (sigh) After talking to us he suggested 3 sessions where he would teach my son some breathing exercises... ummm he doesn't know when he is anxious, it is more a low level anxiety caused by many things and when some extra like exams come up, or his dad doesn't call for weeks, it tips him over the edge and the nausea gets really bad... again no one is actually listening!! I would try again but it was a huge struggle to get my son to go to that initial appointment and the mere mention of it now sends him into a panic and he refuses to entertain the idea... exactly why I called in advance to ensure we got it right for him, once again another fail Anyway... being these anxiety problems have been rolling on for 3 years (or more) a colleague at work suggested meds, initially I didn't want to go down that road but being things are so bad I think I would be irresponsible not to even consider it. My colleagues fiance is a pharmacist and suggested Beta-blockers to help control his anxiety, at least for school years. According to NAS, hopefully as his confidence grows from the Socialeyes course he attends with them and as he gets older anxiety will reduce, but in the meantime I would be keen to try this. Feeling sick all the time is most unpleasant for him and makes him feel miserable. Any advice on this? Thanks for reading. Jules
  3. Juls77x

    Newbe

    Hi Mel, My son is thankfully getting extra time for exams but with very poor organisational skills I don't think he is receiving enough support in class, especially after missing school with anxiety, no one is helping him and advising him on what work he has missed, despite me asking constantly (sigh). I fear this is adding to anxiety, not knowing what he is doing or what is expected of him, stresses him out, and I have passed on my worries on this to Ed Pysch, she is going to talk to class teachers since no one seems to have already done this (which I find astounding) a support teacher said 2 weeks ago "well short of speaking to all his teachers..." ummm what all 7 of them????? I think class teachers are are giving him too many tasks at once, my son needs is to be told clearly what is expected and maybe only a couple of tasks at a time or he just gets confused, I mean why not put a note in his diary to me so anything he is unsure of I can help him... uggg it is hardly rocket science, why do teachers not get this!! The anxiety has got so bad again that he is only managing school 2/3 days a week On a positive the school have finally let him drop Drama (re. letter above which I was furious about receiving) which to be honest I think is for the best, when he got anxious because emotions are like a foreign language to him (question from drama - "how do you think this character feels? My son - "mum I don't know how you feel half the time and I live with you") I asked last year if he could drop Drama and was told no, even though it was adding to anxiety and causing him to be ill. It is to hard when you don't know what to do for the best, will just keep trying. He does struggle socially and rarely goes out with friends, but does have a couple of people he calls friends which is good. The NAS / Inspire have set up a social night once a month with teens on the spectrum, they go to cinema, bowling, out for dinner and he enjoys this. Generally he does pretty well with adults and enjoys being around my friends or people I know, maybe he feels it is ok if I think they are ok (shrugs) so it is not like he can't or avoids socialising at all costs. I think that maybe adults have boundaries and he understands and knows where he stands with them, teens have very little boundaries and can be cruel and I think he would rather avoid his peers. I think he will do much better in adult life, a huge positive was he did well at work experience (ok yes at his fathers work, he had met the people he was working with a few times in the past) father wasn't there all week and he managed just fine and really enjoyed it!! I think school is just too stressful an environment for him. Thanks for getting in touch and sorry about the late reply x
  4. Juls77x

    Newbe

    Thank you all for your kind words. Sorry, today was just a really bad day. I just can't people to listen, from trying to get help with my son from the age of 7 and being constantly ignored by his primary school, to asking his school now for appropriate support, communication, understanding and information on his progress in general and progress in catching up with work missed while absent. Apparently these seem like unrealistic expectations (??) No matter how I try, I get fobbed off, or what is agreed by the school just doesn't happen. My son has very poor organisational skills and short term memory problems, he often gets confused when being given tasks (I have to be very clear when giving him instructions) sadly his teachers don't seem to be able to grasp this concept. This morning I received a letter from school this morning saying: " Your son has very important coursework now seriously overdue. We are writing to inform you that the consequences of not submitting these items is extremely serious and could result on the failing of the course. This is a very serious situation. Therefore, we are asking for your support in ensuring that this situation is rectified immediately to give your child the...." Oh and according to the letter this work is to be handed in when? (re-reads letter) oh yes, today. So, despite asking for my son's progress and requesting work home from his Guidance Teacher, Support Base Teacher, Deputy Head, Home Liaison and anyone else who was willing to listen, on several occasions in various meetings regarding attendance, or by phone and by email, for over a year now, oh and also the Educational Psychologist once, as I only met her for the first time last month (my son's diagnosis was Nov 2011), they now want me help, exactly what I have been trying to do for years. Oh and the information I got back about his progress was "he is doing fine", repeatedly. It kind of beggars belief what I read this morning. Calling Educational Psychologist tomorrow on my break at work, surely they can't just fob this off (although nothing would surprise me!) So, not a raving loony, just a very upset mum today. I will post on other threads for advice on more specific things, I suppose I just needed to be heard today, sorry if it was inappropriate in the Welcome Forum lol Thank you for reading and I hope to get to know you all better in the next few weeks. Jules
  5. Juls77x

    Newbe

    Hi everyone, I am a single mum with a son who has high functioning Aspergers, he struggles with anxiety and feeling sick and misses quite a lot of school in times of stress, up coming exams mean it is getting worse again. The school, I do not feel, give him enough support, he has very poor organisational skills and is also dyslexic School also like trying to turn his absences into being just an 'attendance issue' which I know it is not (and NAS have advised the management at his school are not understanding with children with ASD's, despite half their support base being dedicated to children with ASD... how do they get away with not being understanding then!). He has never been in trouble at school, always polite to teachers and actually wants to be in school, the days he feels well enough he happily goes in and comes home happy too... but again, no one will listen to me. His late diagnosis (age 14) has really not helped I don't think and I wish I could have done more. I am really hoping for some understanding and support here, it is just the two of us, his Dad rarely keeps in touch and I don't have family and can find no appropriate support groups in Aberdeen (if I am wrong on this please tell me!). I am feeling really alone and feel like a bit of a failure just now, some reassurance I am not just a useless mother and that other people are going through similar problems to me would be helpful... today has been a rough day. Thanks for reading. Jules
  6. Hi, could you possibly give me some more information on the support group in Aberdeen. My son is 15 and recently been diagnoses with an ASD (although most of his issues are aspergers based) I could really benefit from speaking with other parents as this is hard doing everything on my own. Thanks Jules
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