Flower1983

Morning. School are sorted! He's allowed to use the ones in the boarding school upstairs (he doesn't board) - no one uses those during the day and they will go through it with him today at school! That's one more thing sorted! Move on to the next problem now - thanks everyone :-)

Hello - thank you for responding. It's so refreshing to know he's not the only one! Sally - he says he won't use them because someone can come in, people can hear you and they smell Thanks.

Hi Lisa. Thank you for your reply. It's good to know its a common problem and that your specialist doesn't seem too concerned about it. I'll see if school will let him use a different toilet - his mainstream one did so hopefully his a Aspergers school will. Thank you :-)

Hello all - thank you for your replies. There's some good advice so I will try some. I think the drink and snack time may work. Sally - he's been to see various doctors & a urologist and they say it should correct itself and just keep it clean with water, no soap and no cream. I think a lot of his not liking public toilets is probably down to his sensory issues. I just wasn't sure whether I needed to worry as much about his lack of drinking and how bad it is for his bladder to hold it in for 9 hours. He tells me he needs it but it goes away! I'll see how I get on, thank you!

Hello, thank you for your replies. Chris - it's the smell and the lack of privacy I think. He's very private at home and hates using the barhroom if anyone's nearby. My son only really drinks when I remind him to or give him a drink. Occasionally if we are out or at bedtime he will ask for a drink! I'm wondering if he's not drinking as he doesn't like using the toilet - or if it's because he doesn't feel thirsty; or make the connection? Another thought is he has always had a sore penis on the tip (it is under review and been seen by a specialist). I'm wondering if because it's probably sore for him to wee, has he always drank less so he wouldn't have to go to the toilet very often do you think? He's 10 and has had a sore penis since he was 1year. So, any tips on drinking more or encouraging toilet use would be great! Thanks :-)

Hello In comparison to everything else we have been through, this does seem minor; but I am concerned for my sons future bladder Heath. He's 10, has a diagnosis or aspergers. He holds his wee in from leaving home at 8:15am - 4:30pm - even then he doesn't go as soon as he gets home. He won't use the toilet when we are out or at friends houses and it is very difficult to get liquids down him. Any advice to how I can encourage either of these things would be great. I've tried sticker charts to try and get 6 glasses a day in him - didn't work! Is this a common problem with aspergers? Thank you in advance

Thank you all for your advise. We have had brilliant news - the LA has agreed funding for our choosen school! My son is going to look around next week and I think will then have a transition period up until Xmas before starting officially in January. I had a meeting with his current school on Wed to see how they are going to manage him until he leaves and he is now doing half days until he leaves and is still not following the curriculum. We're doing work with him at home. Just need to sort out the transport side now, he lives between me & his dads so I'm not sure if they will collect from 2 places? Transport has been agreed - just not the formalities.

I'm presuming he has been to a mainstream school before he then attended the PRU? There's the Lighthouse School in Leeds, but they only take them from high school age. My local National Autistic Society branch did advise me that my son (9 at the time) could maybe be home schooled by staff from there and then could attend there at 11 - if the local authority agreed. I haven't gone down that route so didn't look into it so I can't say that's a definite. Also, West Yorkshire isn't my LA. We are now going down an independent school route. Have you spoken to parent partnership about other options? My local one has been quite helpful. We researched special schools in the area within an hours drive and looked around them to see which one we thought would best suit his needs.

The school is independent/non maintained. It is specifically for boys with Aspergers and you need to be academic with most of their boys being gifted & talented in at least 1 subject - which mine is in 3, he fits the criteria as it's for boys who want an education and are fully able; but struggle within the mainstream environment. I will speak to the inclusion officer from the LA, who is my point of contact, on Mon and see if she has any further news on the funding and of course about my situation with him returning to mainstream. According to the head of the independent school, she is keen for my son to attend there and feels he needs to, but obviously her job is to try and keep children within the mainstream, so she would be the one against us if it went to tribunal. However she did say she hasn't had to do one for 2 years and was giving us advise on what to say if it did go to tribunal. If she seems positive, I will confirm the arrangements for my son to visit. I'm not sure if different county's do it differently, but as far as I'm aware we wait for the funding go ahead, then the LA contact the school we want and send all his paperwork across, then the school make the decision to whether they can meet his needs.

We are quite hopeful they will agree to the school we want - but don't want to get our hopes up. Everyone is saying the right things to us and it looks like it's going in the right direction. The fact they haven't denied funding, just want more questions clarified like class sizes etc which I know the autism outreach will clarify he needs small. The other 2 LA schools which were suggested for him, autism outreach have said to me they aren't suitable as it's the same type of school he's in now - mainstream with a unit where he would spend time equally in both. So it sounds like there aren't any other options within a reasonable traveling distance or within our county.

The LA called a week ago to say that funding hadn't been denied for our school choice, but that they need more questions answered from the autism outreach team. Autism outreach also contacted me on the same day to say LA had asked that of her and that it was a formality as she had already put the answers in her report to them, but they needed specific things clarifying. I'm not sure how long this will now take for the final decision to be made (then we have tribunal if we don't get the school we want). I'm pretty sure she will have by now given the LA everything they need. LA told me that her answers won't need to wait until the Dec panel meeting - so I'm hoping it will be in the next couple of weeks. We (sons dad & I) visited the independent school again yesterday. They seemed keen to get on with the home visit next week and also book a visit for my son to visit the school the week after - but we have provisionally booked those in as we don't want to get my sons hopes up if the LA don't agree. On the other hand, he will have to visit 3 times apparently to see if he fits in and they need all his paper work before they can make their decision. So maybe we should risk it and start that to save time? Bed32 - we are in the same situation! I'm finding it all very stressful as this process is taking so long. My son isn't in the classroom either and isn't following the curriculum. He has a useless 1:1 who we said in July wouldn't work, they paired them up anyway and it's gone down hill since then. My son hated him last year and we knew he lacked skills and any knowledge or understanding of Aspergers. He punishes him regularly and its so stressful for my son. So I'm guessing now I phone up the LA on Monday and explain the situation and see what they suggest? I feel I need to be careful what I say so will have to work this one out! I don't want to send him to school with nothing in place to try and prevent him having huge meltdowns, so I think a meeting with the correct people should happen before he returns? The head is very rude and patronising towards me so I don't want any meetings without a professional there. Thank you for you help, I really appreciate it. Last night I had thought I should remove him, but I'm pleased I have asked advise from people in a similar situation.

Thank you for replying! I have made a doctors appointment for the beginning of next week incase we want to go down that route. I agree that it's best to keep him in school so it's easier for him to settle at special school when we get the decision to which one. I have contacted his autism outreach worker for advise but haven't heard back yet. Have school got a responsibility to meet his needs whilst he is still there, even tho they have told the local authority they can no longer meet his needs? I can't believe how down hill it's gone since they said they can no longer meet his needs 1 month ago. He was only back for a week before being excluded again. Thanks

My son has a diagnosis of Aspergers. They didn't really ask much about his speech during the diagnosis process. His speech was 'normal' it was def not early, if anything, slightly late. His autism outreach team teacher said the difference between AS & HFA is that AS are more likely to want friends, but can struggle to keep them/make them and that HFA only really make friends if it benefits them. I'm not sure if this is true.

Hello People were a great help on here last time so I'm back! To try keep it brief, my son (10) is currently in mainstream school. His statement has been changed to special school and the panel from the LA have met to discuss funding for our chosen school (out of LA and expensive as its a school for boys with AS) so we are waiting on their decision. Then the special school need to see if he 'fits' in with them and they can meet his needs. His mainstream school appear to have given up on him and he is having an even more terrible time then he usually does. He has been excluded again today for the 2nd time in 3 weeks, for 3.5 days. His melt down today; where he ruined school property could have been avoided if they had dealt with it properly. He also came home with red marks from being restrained. My question is, am I within my rights to take him out of school while the local authority make their decision? Would people advise I do? - I don't want it to mess up any decision which is to be made. Thank you in advance

Hello People were a great help on here last time so I'm back! To try keep it brief, my son (10) is currently in mainstream school. His statement has been changed to special school and the panel from the LA have met to discuss funding for our chosen school (out of LA and expensive as its a school for boys with AS) so we are waiting on their decision. Then the special school need to see if he 'fits' in with them and they can meet his needs. His mainstream school appear to have given up on him and he is having an even more terrible time then he usually does. He has been excluded again today for the 2nd time in 3 weeks, for 3.5 days. His melt down today; where he ruined school property could have been avoided if they had dealt with it properly. He also came home with red marks from being restrained. My question is, am I within my rights to take him out of school while the local authority make their decision? Would people advise I do? - I don't want it to mess up any decision which is to be made. Thank you in advance