JuliaP

My son is the same.......I would suggest lots of practice! Maybe take a look on the Internet and print out some typical interview questions and to role play the scenario out with people he is comfortable with? Keep him practising until he no longer needs to look at the print out and can answer the questions comfortably. He will probably never be entirely comfortable talking to people he doesn't know, but they would expect him to be nervous. Suggest places on people's faces he is comfortable looking at to give the impression of eye contact. When you go out with him, start trying to get him asking for things in restaurants, shops, buses etc, so he can slowly leatn how to cope.........remember to take it slow and to talk it through with him 1st, so he knows what to say, what they may say and anything he will need to reply to. I hope this helps and is no way meant to dictate, merely suggestions. Good. Luck! :-)

To he honest, this is entirely up to you. If you wish to dye your hair, remember it has to be done very regularly because the roots will show as your hair grows......so are you prepared for that? Also in my experience some men who dye their hair don't always suit it too well.......it seems to be more obvious if a man dyes his hair than a woman......I have no idea why? I would like to say you should be proud of who you are, to me there is nothing wrong with ginger hair......I was a born red head, but it has darkened with age! But at the same time I understand your concerns, so you should do whatever makes you happy, but if you do choose to go brown, do so with care. Good luck! :-)

You sound like a mixture between my Aspergers son, who also has mild dyspraxia and my nephew who has ADHD. Up to you if you want to get a diagnosis now, depends on what you want out of it really? It certainly sounds as though your original diagnosis was correct, do you still have the written diagnosis? Not too sure how you feel about medication, but it did help my nephew to concentrate and to be able to stay still for a little longer......so could maybe something you could think about and talk to your GP about? It maybe worthwhile writing everything down and taking it with you to see the GP because talking to him/her maybe difficult and then you'll probably forget everything you need to say.....even give him the paper to read himself? Are you able to hold down a job? Not too sure if what I have said is what you're looking for? Other's here maybe better experienced to answer more fully. I wish you well. :-)

I am no expert, just a mother with a 13 year old Aspie boy, but my thoughts are if you think it will help you in any way and it may lead to more help for you now and in the future, then go ahead and get a diagnosis. These people are there to help you and their time and the expense should not worry you in the slightest. One point I will make is I have heard it is more difficult to get a diagnosis as an adult than a child, but someone else would need to advise you there as mine are both under 18, so have not experienced it. Since my youngest has been diagnosed he is so much happier as others are now more understanding of him, including myself. I hope this helps in some way and I wish you every happiness and good luck........it was a very slow process going through diagnosis (10 months for us)!

Ok thanks everyone for taking the time to reply, I was getting worried because he earns more than the £100 per week it stipulates you need to earn less than to be able to claim it (I earn less than that), so was wondering why they needed more info about him!

My son has been awarded the high rate caring and low rate mobility, so I have been advised to apply for carers......does anyone know if it is affected by your partners wages too or is it just the carers wages? Only I sent the form in and they have sent another one back asing for more information, mainly regarding my husbands wages? Thanks

Have had a lovely chat to my son and we now have a small list of things the school can do to make school life more manageable for him. I am feeling much more positive now because the list is quite small and I feel easy for the school to put in place........thankfully he seems quite realsitic in his expectations. I did ask about him having a quite place to go, but he said he didn't want this because it would draw attention to him and he doesn't want the attention. He is making very good progress at school depsite his unhappiness, so I feel he will simply be much happier there and we will habe fewer tantrums. Even since I posted my 1st forum, he has improved, I think, maybe because I am learning about him too. :-) He did have a real problem in ICT before because the teacher was useless and ICT is his "specialist subject", but after talking to the head of ICT He has been given the whole curriculum to work on at his pace.........this alone has been fantastic! Many Thanks everyone! :-)

Again, thank-you for taking the time to reply, all your answers are extremely helpful to me and my son. Thankfully my son has no behavioral problems within school, he holds everything in until he gets home and then of course, as parents we certainly know when something has gone wrong! I think we need to go to the school to have a meeting to talk through what will help my son within school.......things like not asking him questions in front of the class, letting him know ofany possible changes if possible and maybe even sitting out of PE if it is a big game of rugby where he maybe jostled. I think he will be better of staying where he is, like you say they need to make a few allowances for him and his life will be so much better. As I have gound the school very supportive so far, I have high hopes for this. Thanks everyone. :-)

ha, ha......just found out how naive i am, just looked at the Autistic Schools website and it seems you need a referral. I think you only go there if you have behavioral problems. It must be brilliant for some families though, so it's good they exist.

I don't have any LEA funding for the Autistic School, i didn't know he would need it, I just presumed he would be able to go there if he wanted to? To be honest I haven't looked into it too much as he didn't seem too keen on going. I thought that maybe it would be better for him because the staff would have more training and the other kids wouldn't bully him........something he suffers with most days.

Sorry to sound a little stupid, remember I am New to this.......but what do you mean by lea backing for the school? I know what the LEA is, but not what you mean by the question? Thanks.

Thank-you everyone for your replies, they have been extremely helpful.......if only to know there are others out there who have similar problems that can help others in their hour of need. He does really struggle at the school, what doesn't help i feel is the size of it (it has just under 2000 pupils) and as there are so many pupils it is difficult for the teachers to cater for my son. Most are marvelous and do try to understand him, but there are always the exceptions and they're the ones that can upset him. Just today he came back home after school and his hands were covered in drawings, I knew straight away that something had happened as he doesn't normally do this. It turns out they had a supply teacher to cover science, so this was unexpected and the teacher could not control the class, so to manage he drew all over his hands. We have only just received his written diagnosis, therefore the school will only just have received theirs, so we are going to arrange a meeting so that we can talk through everything that is and can be done to support his needs within school. I have also just found out that there is a ASD school opened up 3 miles away from our home and they are for Aspergers and high functioning. I have spoken to my son about attending this school, but he wants to keep his friends he has at his existing school and of course this would be a very big change!! I do invite a friend round who is NT, but very good with my son and they share the same interests, which if course makes my son very happy. I have been unsuccessful with his new friends because whenever they're asked, they never seem to be able to come......after talking to my son, I am now wondering is they're Aspie too and of course don't know me. I thought that maybe when I have the meeting with the school to ask them to speak to the parents of these children to see if we could sort something out to make things less stressful for both parties? As I am new to all of this, I find I learn as I go and have joined the National Autistic Society and our local Autistic Society who have been brilliant and a great source of help and information.....they also have parent groups once a month of which I will be attending. I have also read a lot of books, but as you're all aware, each child is different. My son does try his hardest and will thankfully talk to me as long as I ask the right questions and I am learning to recognize the signs before that tantrums........sometimes.....;-). Thanks to everyone once again.

Thanks for taking the time to reply. After my posting i went to chat to him in his room about why he is having more meltdowns since his diagnosis and he didn't really seem to know why, but after a little time to think and some prompting (I know feelings are hard for him to express, so I find giving him time can sometimes help), he managed to pin it down to a couple of things...... He has a good friend at school who has started picking on another much smaller friend and doing silly things like sticking sweet wrappers down my sons back, my son is confused by this as he was such a good friend in the previous year (this has been going on since September). We are extremely lucky in that the school he goes to are fantastic and very supportive, so I have told my son I will email the school tomorrow after school, to see if they will have a nice quiet word with this boy, to try to stop it........my son didn't want him to get into trouble, just for it to stop. The other thing that seems to be upsetting him is his older brother........my son is a very loving huggable boy and loves to hug his immediate family, but my eldest son, whilst most times happily hugs him back, isn't always in the mood for a hug, so tells him to "get lost"! Unfortunately my youngest reacts badly to this, so I've had a chat with both of them to come up with a solution that they can both be happy with.........the joy of boys!!

Hi Everyone, This is my first posting as I have a newly diagnosed Aspergers son age 13. I would like some help and advice if I may by other parents or perhaps other Aspies who have experience of this and can maybe advise from past experience. Since my son has been diagnosed his behaviour at home seems to have got much worse..........he is now demanding we don't play music in the house, he regularly tells us he hates us and generally has temper tantrums and slams doors, throws things and even hits out. He now goes mad at his older brother if he so much as looks at him slightly funny and his father and brother are now getting to the end of their patience with him. I have read a lot of books about Aspergers and gone on training courses run by my local Autistic Society (they have been really helpful), so I feel I now have a much better understanding now of my son and I do try my best to help him through these episodes. I have found that they are quite often caused by school life which is very difficult for him, but what I really want to know is why his temper seems to have deteriorated since his diagnosis? He had tantrums before, but not so severe or so frequent. He is not upset by his diagnosis, in fact he was very pleased because he said it now makes him feel special and helps him to understand himself.......so advice anyone please?