sslo82

Does anyone know how this is all explained.. I have read the usual things about not noticing if someone's bored etc.. but then I read about this strange sixth sense as well..! But I don't get how to explain this to others! It's like a cross between not noticing and then noticing too much..! I don't look at people much when I'm talking or they're talking.. so I guess I wouldn't notice things, I miss all sorts of little things socially.. but I know my children like they are a part of me so often feel I know how they're feeling, and my husband is diabetic and I can often tell when his sugar is low from tiny changes.. like he breathes differently or walks differently or he looks different. Can anyone explain how this works?

Hi, just a small question really but I realised that I've always struggled when someone wears something and asks me about it... like if this tie goes with the shirt... or this colour with that colour.... that kind of thing.. At that moment I feel so blank and I've no idea if it goes or not. And I doubt I care myself.. but I notice others do this so easily!

Hi, some of them do seem a bit too honest /blunt/rude... It was not something I'd thought about before but when I kept seeing then as well as making me giggle I did think oh crumbs they seem so cheeky! 8^D I am just hoping her teachers will understand that she'll comment on their comments.. I'm not sure how they'll cope with the comments about things being boring etc..!! Although she's probably right!

Thanks for your reply, we don't intend on changing her ways at all, however as we are going through with the referral we feel there are more and more things that are a bit 'quirky' and write them down. However sometimes I don't know whether other kids do the same things. My mum once commented on something my daughter had written next to her spellings and said that is what some of the aspergers kids she used to work with would have done. I love her little comments and it shows her personality! :-D

Hi, quick question. I have been looking through my daughter's school workbooks and she writes comments in them herself. One thing was an experiment they'd done and she had written really honestly about the result being boring with 'wasn't it?' next to it.. How it had wasted her time! Then there seem to be other little 'chats' now and then about not having time to finish certain bits in the book or comments on getting something right. They are quite funny really but I'm not sure if other kids would do this kind of thing. Wondered if anyone has seen this before. My daughter has been referred but no diagnosis yet. Thanks. :-)

I see what you mean! No worries though, I also feel there is 'nothing wrong' in terms of who she is. I wouldn't want to change her, just learn more about how to look after her. :-)

We've had our suspicions a very long time but as our daughter was young we kept putting off the doctors in case she just 'grew out' of many things. She's 7 now, 8 in a few weeks, and against the school kids there are differences. If we were like some other families.... I think my daughter would struggle a lot more. We know she's always late and takes ages to do things... so we work around that so she still feels she's getting a wriggle on.. but it's still very slowly to us..but won't make us late.. If that makes sense! Many other things. We are looking into a diagnosis as the one thing that's hard is if she doesn't have anything and is just hard work. ..!!! I don't personally believe there's nothing though.. I've had to speak to teachers and headteachers many times as they want kids to be like robots and mine doesn't fit in like that..! I've had to help give them ideas and ways to help her but I've never said to change her and I always spout a big bunch of plus sides as soon as they try to sound negative! My daughter is different but to me she's fab. I think I'd like a diagnosis so I can help her more, get more support for her and stop worrying when in public because I can't quite explain the behaviour to people who things she's just playing up.....

Thank you all so much for your replies, all very helpful. We have been to the doctor and are currently waiting for more forms to fill out! The doctor asked a few questions which included things about social skills, food, going to sleep, repetitive things and lots of other bits which we tried to explain briefly but is impossible! There are a million things. I have done lots of role play type things which I think help a little if she remembers. We are sure she is on the spectrum and look after her as if she is,understanding her point of view and emotions as much as we can. This robotic thing happens occasionally and I wasn't sure whether that was something we should mention at the next meeting. It does seem strange. How does she suddenly know lots of things that she should do... I don't know why she'll suddenly do it as half an hour later it all goes out the window! A lovely half hour though. ;-)

Hi I just wondered whether this is an aspergers thing or something anyone has come across. My daughter is 7 and is always forgetting things, forgetting to do things, late, wandering about not doing as she needs to be doing.... not saying things that she should maybe.. Then for a short burst she'll suddenly turn into robot angel child.. asking if she can do anything, getting dressed and brushing her hair, being overly polite.... BUT it never lasts long and she goes back to 'normal' !! I always tell her it's like she tries so hard for short bursts and goes over the top so that it all stops abruptly when she can no longer manage it. Can anyone help with this?!

Hi, it is very hard to know what to do as I feel if people are aware then they'll be more accommodating but I do worry that then as an adult she could feel let down possibly if it got in her way at all. If that makes sense (I know what I mean in my head!). Regarding school, it's funny you mention home schooling as we did that for 18 months as we moved and couldn't get a school place locally. She loved it and it made it easier for us! She went to lots of clubs which got her out and went fairly well as she could choose friends who were younger than her to play with and the club's were short which suited her too. She struggles now she's back in school (a place came up from September) as the girls her age seem older and quite catty.. If that's a good description! Ruby doesn't understand all that and just wants to play. She often goes with it but has no idea what's going on really. :-( The school are doing a social skills group from the end of Jan although I'm not sure how much help it'll be but at least it's something. I am yet to meet with the senco. Does anyone know how schools handle it if a diagnosis is made? What help there is etc.

Ian, Thanks for your reply too! I am with you completely on the diagnosis thing. I worry that getting a proper diagnosis will cause problems later on - she is very bright and creative and fabulous in her own crazy way.... she does not suit school life but I feel that if she can get through that then she will cope in adult life! However... I don't know where we stand by not getting a proper diagnosis, yet making the school aware of the difficulties............................ This is how I would prefer to go about things.. As for family, I personally think my dad is a bit crackers and so am I. :-) When I was reading things about aspergers I was a bit freaked that I might have been reading about myself!! However, I rolled through school and out again and was, as you say, probably better off that way. I think more help in school and socially would have helped.... but I have learnt a lot as an adult and I think you have to pick it up pretty quickly to get on ok. (But of course........ I may well just be a bit crackers.) It is a tricky one as I want people to understand her and I want her to get on ok at school, but I don't want to 'label' her and make anything difficult further down the line.

Many thanks for your reply. It did feel like I'd gone through all the 'right' things to do and then the poor lamb kind of struggled through the visit!! I don't think my friend noticed as she would have just seen her being very polite, just with no personality at all! But I did worry afterwards as to how I go about things like that in future. We're used to frightful trips out or to people's houses where I spend forever apologising.... a nice in-between would be good!! I have a big list of things we have noticed might be signs of aspergers. Probably too many to list on here I expect!! She does seem to have sensory issues - she has always put her hands over her ears in busy places/when hand dryers are on/when too many things are happening like conversations and tv etc. She never liked pantomimes or similar or the cinema and it seemed to be the noise mostly. She struggles with the noise on the playground and has told her teacher that the class are being too loud and she can't concentrate! She is very fussy about food and will actually spit something out on the table (lovely) because she can't wait to get a tissue. She doesn't like food touching - I actually put things in separate bowls! There are probably other things.... she has this strange kissing thing where if we kiss her on her cheek and hug her she freaks out if we don't kiss the other side and cuddle again as he other cheek feels 'wrong and cold'. She also has HUGE tantrums like people would expect in a much younger child. And lots of other things but I'll stop now before I also go on and on and on. :-)

Hi there, Our daughter may have aspergers (school have said 'possibly somewhere on the spectrum' but we have felt for sometime that she could have aspergers) so for now we are waiting to have a meeting with school and go from there. I have made lists of all sorts of things that she does or things that upset her but there was one thing that I wanted to bring up here and see if it rings any bells with anyone. My daughter finds it hard to remember what to say in social situations - she will ignore people when we walk into a friend's house and they say hello. She won't say thank you for coming to visit or thank you for having us. In fact, if people are leaving our house she doesn't even realise she should come to the door to say goodbye. I always have to go over the same things everytime we go anywhere in the hope she does the right things!!! Yesterday, we were invited to a friend's house and before we went I had to go through the same old stuff.. no running around their whole house/hello when they say hello/speak back if they ask you something/thank you for having us/take shoes off when we arrive/be polite all the time.... etc.. Well.. we were there and the entire time she seemed odd.. to me.. probably not so much to my friend who probably thought how quiet but polite she was.. She said hello.. she took her shoes off, she walked about with the straightest posture ever, and a very strange face.. like she was trying to be 'prim and proper'.. that kind of expression if that makes sense!! She said please and thank you. When asked about a drink there was a pause and then she said, "I'll just have water please." When asked what colour cup.. there was a pause again.. "I don't mind which colour." She was incredibly polite... when we were going she stood at the door and she said, "Thank you for having me." And this was all great... except she was not herself!?! This might not make sense but it was like having a robotic child for a couple of hours. When we got home she was a total argumentative nightmare. Later, I spoke with her and asked if she had tried to remember all the things I'd told her to do.. .and whether she had thought of anything else whilst there. It seems that the whole time she had been focussed on making sure she did all those things....... none of it seemed natural and whilst I was obviously pleased she'd behaved... I wondered whether this was something a child with Asperger's might do? It was as if she'd spent the whole time concentrating on saying the right things! Thanks for any replies! :-)