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Clareyfairy

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About Clareyfairy

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    Norfolk Broads
  1. Hi, my husband has aspergers (undiagnosed as yet) he has ulcerative colitis, which is quite similar to crohns. His flare ups are triggered by stress & we have found some stuff on the Internet indicating a link between asd & colitis. I suspect he has some sort of anxiety disorder which has lead to this, as well as alopecia. They're both auto immune related & both affected by stress, obviously he's unable to deal with certain stress & tends to internalise it. Having a flare up of his colitis causes him anxiety too, it can be a vicious cycle at times! Once we knew what we were dealing with we manage it with medication quite easily, steroids & mesalazine.
  2. Clareyfairy

    Hi

    I'm really beginning to see the benefits in getting a diagnosis for my husband & possibly our son too, although I have questioned this a lot over the last month. From a personal level it is important to have affirmation so friends/family believe it. Sounds a bit selfish but I have come up against things like 'all men are like that & he does have a stressful job etc' & it's really important for me to have understanding from others in order to help support me. The other side of it is I'm hoping there will be some sort of counselling for my husband because all though he is in total agreement that he has Aspergers he is very difficult to communicate with & his high intelligence sometimes adds to that. With regard to my son I'm still getting my head around it, but I'd really hope that with a diagnosis he would get help with socialising & building his stratagies to cope I'm some aspects differently to my husbands & before he reaches adulthood & all that that throws at you!
  3. Clareyfairy

    Hi

    Hi, it has recently been mentioned by a teacher of my 12yr old son if I'd thought about getting him checked to see if he's on the spectrum, he does have some traits but although I haven't taken that any further at the moment it has come to light that my husband probably has aspergers. He recognises it in himself & will probably go ahead to get a diagnosis sometime soon. With regard to my son I'm curious as to how much of his behaviour/traits could be learned behaviour from his Dad or if there is a definite genetic link that would make it more probable to be aspergers? Any thoughts or views would be appreciated...
  4. Good luck with your meet up, I'm sure it will be helpful to you. I like your description about feeling something is missing but not knowing what it is that is missing,that describes my husband perfectly, he also says that he has always known he was different but didn't know why. Don't get me wrong when it comes to all the responsibilities of looking after a house I'm certainly not the perfect domestic goddess by any means haha! He doesn't seem to care about things, if it breaks you just buy a new one & when he lived alone he used to buy a new dinner set each week, he'd use it then throw it away instead of washing up! Luckily with a bit of help he's got out of that one!
  5. It must be really frustrating for you to have to wait so long to get the answers you need. I'm very envious of your travelling, that sounds just wonderful I'd love to go off with my dog & do the same. My husband lived alone in before we were together & it was a bit like steptoes yard! He never threw anything out, it was horrendous, filthy & chaotic. I always put it down to him being single & having a busy job but with hind sight it probably wasn't. I've had so much frustration thinking that one day he will learn what it takes to run & maintain a house, but after all these years am now realising it's probably part of his aspergers & not down to being childish or lazy as I'd thought. In some ways it's better knowing because I know what not to expect & I will be able to accept some help without feeling bad about it. As I understand it a kind of lack responsibility can be a trait of someone with aspergers which may have been why you felt so much happier when you were travelling.
  6. Thank you, that's helpful to know. I wondered if just his own realisation about possibly having aspergers is also creating further problems too. I'm finding it all really difficult to understand. If I'm honest it's taking all my willpower to not go running to the hills but I feel totally responsible for him & he's a bit of a liability left to his own devices. Maybe he will settle down again when the stress lessens.
  7. Hi all, it was recently mentioned by my sons teacher (he's 12) if he was on the spectrum after some problems at school, I haven't decided if or when to look any further into it, but to cut s long story short this has led me to realise that my husband almost certainly has Aspergers & he agrees. He has so many traits that he recognised in himself. We have been together for 15yrs & has come as a massive shock even though there is an element of relief too as it explains so much of the difficulties there have been with our relationship. I feel totally alone & isolated, like no one (especially my husband) understands how I'm feeling, unfortunately this has all coincided at the same time as us being in the process of moving house. His behaviour has become really difficult, it's as if all of his traits have become heightened, he can't seem to listen to anything I say, he has always been good at eye contact but not now, he's forgetting his filter in front of friends etc & has embarrassed both them & me , forgetting every day things that are part of his daily routine, I could go on but there are far too many things that have been happening. I've been at my wits end but have no clue what he is thinking, is it possible that the stress with moving house can exaggerate his aspergers? I really don't know what to think or how to manage his strange behaviour at the moment! I'd really appreciate any help or advice.
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