I'm going to keep this as short as possible. I met an amazing man online 11 months ago and over a period of time we have both got very close to each other. He would tell me how much he likes me, needs me and no one else. As I would say to him As well. I am in love with him. When I found out he had AS, which was in the very early days, I didn't know much about it until he started to display behaviours of it i.e having the need to be in a routine, disappearing when life gets overwhelming.
Since then I've learnt more about AS and how it is and ive accepted this.
Recently, I found out he is still in the site which we met on and due to my own paranoia and insecurities I had a massive go at him and said things like he betrayed my trust and all of this has been a lie. I regret going about it this way and admit I should have just asked him about it. He's told me prior to this he would never do anything to hurt me or betray me and to not worry about it because "he chooses me". Since I sent him those messages confronting him he hasn't bothered to reply to any of my messages and I figure this is because all of this is too overwhelming for him and has decided to just close himself off from the rest of the world.
I miss him so much and I want to make things right and okay again, I'm trying my hardest to give him the time and space he needs and told myself eventually he will come around and we will hopefully sort things out. We've never had a 'fallout' like this before and whenever he has his shut down modes it's because of other things like work, family, etc. Now I'm playing apart in it, I don't know what to do now.
Sitting here waiting is driving me crazy I love him and the last thing I want is to lose him and I feel like I am! 😩😞