Jester

Hi all Without being too contentious here...'friends' offering drugs to their peers (rather than selling) are often doing so at the suggestion of dealers. This is seen as a 'loss leader' by the dealers, not unlike supermarket offers to interest the punters. Kids who would be too scared to approach a dealer get their first experience of weed from 'a friend'...then the 'friend' introduces them to the dealer. The dealer acts as if he only trusts the kid because of 'the friend'...the kid starts to feel cool and streetwise when he gets to 'prove' he can be trusted by buying (and maybe sharing with another school friend) and so on and so on. There are some innocent kids caught up in this but that is the point; dealers USE 'nice' kids precisely because it gives them access to a schoolyard market that they cannot approach themselves. It is harsh, I know, but I don't think it is unfair to put heavy sanctions on kids who are 'just' sharing soft drugs with their friends.

Hi all Teaching maths at a special school has definitely shown me that maths ability is not 'linked' to any position on the spectrum. In schools in general, girls outperform boys in maths with mathematical application and word problems. When maths becomes symbolic and 'pure' they seem to fall behind. If 'society' is preserving some form of male bias in higher maths then it is ALL societies; almost all the competitors in the olympiad were male and I, for one, can't believe that societies as diverse as China, South America and India all have some agreed secret plan to keep girls out of maths. Societies have their prejudices...but why given the overall 'geek' stereotype of mathematicians, would us blokes WANT to own it!? I believe that, if society has a bias, it is inherent in the approach to education that favours communication skills. Girls are outperforming boys across the curriculum on a regular basis except in maths and some sciences and it gives me a bleak smile to find people worrying that this is evidence of bias. I don't believe anyone is worrying about the generally poor performance of boys in Modern Foreign Languages.

Hi Stella I'm ready to be howled down...but then teachers get blamed for everything. Simple: Drugs are illegal...even Class C. Your child did the right thing. I can't believe there is any reaction other than to reassure and praise him for doing what is right. School kids are not carrying knives and guns because of Pokemon cards. Don't listen to any of the Doom-Goblins... Drugs have NO place in schools; kids who deal in drugs are NOT 'good but misguided' ...the info-highway generation is NOT ignorant about drugs, it is OUR generation acting like we are dealing with 1970's style Lurve and Peace 'Weed' that is ignorant. Your lad did ABSOLUTELY the right thing, you did ABSOLUTELY the right thing and I'll shake either or both of your hands if we ever meet. Thank you for making classrooms safer.

Greetings all - I'm back by special request of Bid; apparently she wants me to explain what being married to her is like...but since I want to STAY married to her, I'll restrict myself to the AS-related bits. In no particular order of importance or 'wisdom' : I find it difficult to apply my special needs teacher stuff to home situations and consequently still feel like a bit of a <deleted obscenity> when Bid overloads and I ignore it ...but it is the fastest solution. It isn't easy to ignore the sounds of sobbing and headbanging but I have learned that to try to 'comfort' Bid just increases the input and therefore prolongs the incident. When the storm has passed (it may be next morning) we can talk about it. Same goes for silly rows; the 'sensible' ones are as per any married couple and proceed normally! AS rows (if successfully identified as such in time!) require backing off and giving in; when the potential meltdown has passed (it may be next morning, see above!) I seem to be able (usually) to reopen discussions with 'Actually, I've been thinking about {whatever} and I'm sure I'm not completely wrong'......... life can move on without anger. I don't try to make Bid do things socially. Sometimes she does want to, sometimes she doesn't. The trade off is that I am allowed to socialise if she doesn't want to; so, for example we might host a poker evening one month and Bid plays, the next time Bid doesn't want to so we play at someone else's house and Bid spends a happy night on the forum while I lose all our matchsticks. I don't collude with Bid. If her Aspyness is pi**ing me off I tell her; but I don't ask her to stop; she can choose to, but at least she knows that if she carries on I will 'start acting funny'!! Bid needs time on the forum and she needs to do some things in some ways; I have examined how much it might get on my nerves and act accordingly. If I need to talk to her I feel fine about saying 'stop that a minute...this is important' but if I just WANT to talk to her I wait; that way she knows it IS important when I interrupt the forum browsing! That should do, except for the pluses. Bid is happy for me to go out with the boys or pursue my hobbies (as long as no-one talks to her!) She understands the stress of living with AS requires a lot of Chocolate and 'Old Speckled Hen' (don't tell her this is a fib ) Bid has put up with me for 16 years now... no one else could possibly stand me (don't tell her that either). Finally ...the HUGEST bonus....An Aspie girl doesn't keep asking "How do you feel?" ENVY me other blokes for I can live without examining my feelings every night HUGE bonus 2 - Bid simply doesn't realise how weird I am... at a school 'do' once, my TA (after a few gins) actually said "I think you're just right for him...'e obviously doesn't embarrass you"!! HUGE bonus 3 - like all women Bid wants to choose our soft furnishings etc...all other women ask a bloke what he likes then persuade him to like what they want! Bid just accepts that I don't care and happily chooses the colours of everthing in our lives Hoorah!

You should not have ventured in hev now it's your turn!

(Laughs to camera, replaces glasses and smiles. Ting of the bell) "And the next word is ....SENCO" Is it 1) A dedicated education professional with a passionate interest in maintaining quality access to the curriculum for all children, regardless of special needs. or 2) A person who seeks an additional responsibiltiy point and extra payment for work subsequently avoided. or 3) A person with no medical qualifications who nonetheless fails to recognise special needs whilst at the same time diagnosing parents as "Pushy" or "Neurotic" or "Pushy and Neurotic". ???????????????? Over to you teams

trail

Comports himself as Robert Robinson... "Ah yes, I feel we are supposed to be drawn to 'acetic acid' here and think 'vinegar'; but I fear this 'vinegar' is just another example of BD's 'Attic Salt' (smiles in a smugly overeducated way at the camera) and I will therefore plump for Baddad's adhesive fleshly accoutrements and choose option 1"

A mate of mine used to test drive for Fords ... round the track at 100mph plus, skids etc etc etc - all very manly....BUT He could not reverse into a parking space in less the 5 minutes; AND he couldn't park in EITHER direction without power steering! I think driving is by far the hardest thing I've ever learned to do. Better luck next time (don't worry 'til you get to your 5th test ...ahem ahem, shuffles feet)

Are they still pulling the old "It's a combined Birthday and Christmas present" scam?! Have a doubly great day

The Loin, The Twitch and the Bored-Robe It is Christmas Eve in the Batcave and the the Superchums are gearing up for a liver-punishing session. Some are wondering 'Whatever happened to old Jesty? (As if) Now he is the Queen of Krism (Unknowingly, mind, unknowingly) have his official duties kept him from the Batcave? Or has he received a civil partnership proposal from Queen Elton? Overcome by lethargy they sink back into the Bat-recliners and reach for the BatGin It is at this point that the door to the bat-wardrobe bursts open and from it falls a snow-covered figure in a huge fur coat (made of huge fur). All leap to their feet and freeze in superhero poses - all save Suze, for whom inertia means her twin-airbag superheroine safety system continues to jiggle for some time beneath the costume ...pray Judge Thredd, open a window it has become a trifle warm in here. Who is this fur-clad interloper? As he reaches for the hip flask and coughs "Warrgh! Bleurghh! Wazzat?" there can be no doubt. "Jester " cries the Judge, "where have you been these many moons past?" The Jester looks confused (no change there) and asks "What do you mean, 'many moons'? Surely it is but a few hours since I pushed my way through the back of the Wardrobe?" There is a general look of 'not wanting to ask the question..but..' With dreadful slowness The Judge asks "Why were you at the back of the wardrobe...there's nothing there but dozens of the Superheroines' costumes, waiting to go off to the dry cleaners?" The Jester shuffles "er .. I was playing sardines." "But," continues the Judge " they're packed pretty tight in there...you must have been positively crushed by loads of lycra that is practically still warm from the bodies of the ...ah..er...I see carry on". The Jester tries to look dignified (hopeless) "So I was engaged in a solo game of sardines.." "You were playing with yourself at he back of the wardrobe?" asks the Judge (f'nar f'nar, yak yak) "Anyway," continues the Jester "as I pressed my way through the skin tight costumes of our female colleagues (have you got that window open yet?) I suddenly found myself in the magic land of Banarnia. "There I met a funny little fellow...half man, half goat with a bus driver's hat on; his name was Mister Terminus. He betrayed me to the White-Paper Witch who has made sure that the parents of Banarnia's SEN children are always snowed under with government legislation and all the associated forms to fill in. It's always winter and never Krismas." The Superchums strike poses of outrage. "But," continues the Jester "there is hope! Just as the White-Paper Witch was trying to ply me with magic Turkish Delight and Cordial..." "Thank the gods it wasn't Hob-nobs and a hip flask or you'd have been sunk old chap" remarks The Judge. "Indeed," continues The Jester "just as she was doing that I was rescued by an extraordinarily intelligent beaver." "Not Abi Titmuss, then?" "No..this one could manage entire sentences. Anyway, The Beaver told me that AS-lan is on the move!" "That would be Tics and Stims" "No!" The Jester waves his arms animatedly "AS-lan hasn't been to Banarnia for some years...he's been busy catalogueing his Thomas the Tank Engine collection and organising his Lego bricks according to size and colour." "We must help!" cry the Chums. "Then follow me through the wardrobe!" yells the Jester and plunges back into the welcoming embrace of recently vacated lycra. Merry Christmas

Ah, but I am dashing a manly tear of pride now! To have one's words broadcast thusly (Sobs ) All the better for Lil'N having a voice disturbingly close to my own (if I can't be bothered to go to work next year could he fill in?!) The only question now is ...who is the reigning totty-goddess of Krism? Abi, Bid or Mrs Overall? PS I know who I am voting for...but then I want to live to see tomorrow's climax! (F'nar F'nar, Yak Yak!)

Another winner chaps! My efforts are hampered since my hands are still a-tremblin' at the "Bid is Betty Rubble" idea from yesterday. How did you know she was my ideal woman as a younger chap?? Betty ... not Bid that is; obviously things have changed now, although I did mistakenly refer to my beloved as "Butty Rebel" this evening Is it me, or HAS this just become the coldest winter on record?

Seasons greetings to all our many, many friends (worldwide) Has it really been a year since Marcus was made senior partner of Scrooge, Marley and Dickens? He is, of course, exhausted with commuting by helicopter every other day to Canary Wharf and I have been desperately trying to convince him that he IS worth his 7 figure salary even if he can't get into work every other day due to his co-chairmanships of Loadsadosh Bank, The Cupidity Corporation and Exploitatif Internazionale. Jocasta (moi!) is still filling her time with a 'pin money' job as an international human rights lawyer, but still finds time to be a parent governor at Victor's school. She has featured in 'Time' magazine this year following the unexpected success of her "Woven Lentil Bread for Afghan Refugees' campaign. She really didn't deserve the Nobel nomination and was relieved (no, honestly) not to win. Tamsin has obtained a double first from Oxford in Business Law and Japanese. She is considering a number of job offers from the States and Tokyo but has decided to take a year working with underprivileged children and 'finding herself' in the Peruvian rainforest. (Marcus didn't know she was lost there! Ha ha ha ha!!) Orlando has followed on from his 13 A* GCSEs by being made the youngest ever Head of School at St. Illegitimans College. he is Captain of the First XI, The First XV and as President of the Really Big And Impressive Debating Society has been recently described in the School Magasine as "One of the biggest Mass Debaters in the history of the school." Victor has just entered Year 9 and the dreaded 'options' loom. It will be very hard for him to decide which subjects he doesn't want to pursue. If only the timetable allowed him to do 15 GCSE's he'd be happy! (Or perhaps not: he might have to give up his drama, polo, karate, saxophone, street dancing or stop being a major-general in the cadet forces). Suki won Best of Breed at Crufts (again). Hope you can drop in if you're in the area. Any time .. you know how we are very much 'take us as you find us' people. So if you are driving through just contact the security official at the gate and let him know you're here to see us. Hope this finds you as it leaves us, M,wah M,wah. Love, Light and Serenity Marcus, Jocasta, Tamsin, Orlando And Victor. (Plus Suki, Agammemnon, Cuddles, Sun-Tzu, Floppy, Tiddles and Tonyblair the Rat)