Carol

Oh I laughed my head off at this - till the tears ran down lol ouch, ouch, ouch - thanks for sharing. Carol

My son is also at a Independant School and it is split 50/50 with Education and Social Work - never had to sign anything regarding payment of fees. Can't understand why they are asking you to sign it. Carol

ggod grief - what an amount of stuff to have to deal with at the same time - my heart really went out to you when I was reading it - just wanted to say (((((((((big hugs)))))))) & thinking of you. Carol

I am happy for you that you have the appointment today- I hope it goes ok - you are a fab mum and as so many have said - we recognise where the thoughts are coming from. thinking of you. ((((((((((big hugs)))))))) Carol

oh no Loulou you must be feeling awful, it's such a conflict trying to work & balance the childcare & everything else. hope you have success with your hours. ((((((((((big hugs))))))) Carol

Jessie, I know how desperate you are feeling - we were the exact same - so worried for his future, massive impact on the entire family and despairing that he would ever get an education - we feel like we have been thrown a lifeline. This school has to have a social work & education referral - they are paying half the costs each, so that took a lot of doing - you know how they like to hold onto the purse strings - we were very fortunate in that we had a wonderful ed psych who gave us a lot of support. I have pm'd you the name of the school ( not allowed to mention it online). madme - we feel that our lads intelligence has never had a chance to develop and this will finally give him a good shot at it, years ago his IQ was tested & came out high & he is gifted in maths, so happy that he is getting a chance to see how far he can get ( once they have identified all the gaps in his education where he spent under desks or outside the heads office I have my lad back home now - the first 3 days have been a total success and bracing ourselves for a backlash - it never happened, he is very chatty, joking & laughing and talking positively about going back next week thanks very much for all the kind words, feel good about posting something positive for a change Carol

Just a quick update to say that today has gone really well, Andrew was very calm and was speaking & acknowledging everyone when we took him in, & changed into his school uniform with no problems - he said his only concern was how it would feel on him - & it is not scratchy at all I even got a telephone call tonight & yes it was just yes & no's - but he stayed on for a while. trying not to be too optimistic - especially after what we have been through in recent years - he even managed to go to his first class this afternoon and he said that he has had a good day. Just wanted to say how proud I am of him - after his previous school experience I would totally understood if he was completely hostile but it shows his strength that he is managing ok. ( missing him like mad already though) but consoled by the fact that he finally has access to all the opportunities that have been sadly lacking for so long. thanks for all the support Carol

((((((((hugs)))))) - just wanted to say thinking of you. Carol

Thanks very much everyone - yes as I am sure you can all imagine it has taken a lot to get to this outcome - but oh so worth it. lovely to get all the positive thoughts from you all tell the truth I still feel a bit shellshocked - I have been holding my breath for so long it is kinda difficult to let it go know if you know what I mean. Carol

Hi all not posted for ages - I had just felt like I was stuck in a tub of treacle everything was moving so slowly - but got the official news now & my lad has been accepted for a fabulous residential special school & he is starting on Wednesday. This is going to be a brilliant opportunity for him and he is very positive about it , and I was getting really worried as he is 14 now and I was beginning to despair that we would never get him the education he needs - & this place just seems fantastic We have also got funding for some sessions from the Scottish Autistic Society and they are giving us therapy sessions to help with specific problems and other problem areas such as communication skills (& including his 2 brothers in this too). so things are just brilliant. Just want to say that although I haven't posted recently I have been lurking and the support on this forum is just the best. Carol

I scored 8 too lol - got to see what hubby scores Carol

I have not spoken to my dad for a long time now - several years & I had a big fall out with my mum in September and have not spoken since - & to be honest it is a big relief not to put myself through all the turmoil & upset I felt before, during and after every meeting - I am just relieved to have done it and don't regret it for a minute. Life is too short and can be complex enough without having to deal with negative, selfish people. ((((big hugs))))) Carol

Just wanted to add that I don't speak to my dad ( he was very violent with me when I was growing up) & lways had a really strained relationship with my mum, as she is distant. very selfish and self absorbed - we went through the motions of meeting once a month which always had me stressed for days before hand and I would end up not sleeping and I would be withdrawn for days afterwards - which is so unlike me it is unreal ( I am one of these annoyingly cheerful, optimistic, cup always half ful sort of folks) - anyway I found out that when we were at my brothers 40th she had been sitting in the next room saying really nasty things about me to the room in general - not happy as she was not the centre of attention etc) and so I took her to task (privately) and gave her a few home truths. The upshot is that we have not spoken since & I have to say I have never been more relieved - I am very happy that I do not have to put myself through that emotional turmoil on a monthly basis and I do not regret for a minute that she is out of my life and that the pretense can be dropped. So, I totally understand the hypocracy of families, and their own slant on events and the totally different "version of events" they have in their minds lol - I just never dwell on it & am just glad I decided to "cut my losses" - life is too short to have negative people in your life - even if it is family. <'> <'> <'> PS sorry not been posting much - I have been lurking - so much has been happening will have to start a seperate thread lol - ( all good) in fact excellent Carol

Hi Bid i have had a couple of experiences with this. my lad was attending the psych day unit and his initial assessment & review wre conducted like so: myself, my lad, the ed psych and the chief charge nurse had a session talking about what the main problems were & what i & my lad wanted to get out of the placement - in the mean time about 12 other staff members videotaped & observed through a two way mirror. about a 3rd of the way through the meeting we swapped & we went & sat in the video room & the staff went into the room we had left- they discussed wverything we had talked about & how they interpreted it - we then swapped back & continued the conversation and also talked about the observations that the other staff had made. it was a bit strange to get used to - but it was ok- it was non threatening and was not about "lets blame it on the parents" hth Carol

hi Alice - my lads are 12, 12 & 14 and my eldest is my aspie - I will ask my lads if they want to participate - but if you could send me some info on it so that I can explain to them that would help. please pm me for addy etc. Carol