josie h

I think play therapy will definatly help your son. If you can't access it, you could try to introduce play skills to him yourself. I work as SENCO in a playgroup and we have had a few children who have been diagnosed on the spectrum. One of the things we do is teach them how to interact with other children. we started with trying to encourage the child to interact with an adult. This involved the adult 'playing' alongside the child initially and then starting to model play with them, extending the activity if possible. We would then introduce another child to the group, playing turn taking activities with the child, encouraging them to take turns by using very simple games eg, rolling a ball to each other, building a tower with blocks etc. I'm not sure if something along these lines would help your child, but I guess its worth a try. Josie

I know that they always try to find the cheapest option. I think they are worrying now though because this has been going on since January and we still have had no school named. The unit C is in only usually take children for a maximum of 6 weeks. He has now been there for 6 weeks and I know they desperately need the place so I expect that they are putting the LA under pressure as well. I think they also realise that I won't just accept a place because I think its the only option available. I have put it in writing that I feel that the LA have let me son down already, so I'm guessing that they're watching their backs as I am sure I have a good reason to put in an official complaint against them. They are not meeting my sons needs at the moment because although he is in a placement, this is only a temporary arrangement and the unit has already told me that they wouldn't normally take a child with C's needs. I will keep fighting this and I will not let them talk me into doing anything I'm not happy with. I will insist that everything goes on paper. Thanks Josie.

Thanks for all he advice everyone. I have done a bit of research and am now on the case. I am waiting for LA to get back to me because they were going to challenge Cambs about decision there. they told me they didn't specify a school, but asking for ASD provision in Cambs. If this doesn't get anywhere they are coming back into Herts and are now considering independant provision instead as they also feel mainstream will not work. Josie.

Hi Sally, sorry I know this is quite ard to explain. We had a statement review at the end of November where C was in a mainstream school in Cambs. We still did not have a decision in early Feb and school called another review meeting where they requested change of provision. LA felt they were not able to find another school quickly for C and school in Cambs felt that they needed an immediate solution due to some serious behavioural probs. Herts LA then moved C into the respite unit in Herts. This is a unit for any child at risk of exclusion from school. The unit have told me that he is not the type of child they usually have there. At the moment I don't know what is on the statement. I have still not had a revised statement since December, I guess they were waiting to put a named school on it. I have not seen or signed any statement since May last year. School in Cambs have consistently asked Herts LA for support for C and stated that they did not feel they were meeting his needs. I have heard nothing from Herts, they just sent me a copy of the letter from Cambs saying that the school they had applied for had been declined. They didn't even put a note in with the letter!! I have left a message but not received a reply yet either. So at the moment I really don't know what's happening. The unit C is in in Herts feel that he should be in a mainstrem school but that it would have to be one that can manage his needs correctly as they feel his difficulties were made worse at the previuos school due to miss management. He is really enjoying being in the unit but again, I feel this is because it is very small, lots of good, positive attention and little distraction for him. The only school with a specialist unit attached that is near me is in Beds, but they only have 6 places and they are full!!!!! There must be other people out there that face this problem as well. Just because he is an able child who finds socialising difficult, means that there is no specialist provision for him and that he could end up with no proper education as he will be so stressed out at school again that we will be back to square one again!!! It is extremely frustrationg and there seems to be no one out there who can give me any advice or even suggest a school that would suit him. I guess I'll have to keep fighting, but there's only so much fight left in me, I have my eldest duaghter doing her GCSE's at the moment.

Hi Sally. This is an Emergency Review of C's statement. The school he was in were not coping with him and requested change of provision at the emergency meeting. LA were not very helpful though until school told them that they would have to consider permenantly excluding him fron school. Thanks for the advice anyway.

I haven't been around for a awhile coz things had started to improve. C was taken out of mainstream school where he was having lots of probs. he is 14. LA were unable to find him a place in our county - Herts, so applied for a school in Cambs. At the moment he is in a respite school where he is doing really well. they have had no probs with him. There are 12 children in the unit, with only 4 in each group and ratio of a teacher and a TA in each group. unfortunatly this is only a temporary solution. Anyway, we were waiting for the panel meeting from Cambs and I have now heard that they have not accepted him because the school Herts named is for children with social and emotional difficulties, not ASD!!! We are now back to square one. C has no place in a school for September when he will start year 10. Herts have no provision for children with high functioning Autism and I am not convinced that a mainsetream school will be the right place for him. He is doing fine where he is, but it is a totally different environment to a mainstream school. Herts LA have not even had the decency to contact me, they just sent me a copy of the letter from Cambs!! I now have to wait to see what school they come up with!! Don't really know what else to do. Anyone got any ideas?

Hope things go well for you Chris. Josie

Hope it all goes well four you on Monday. Josie

Hi, welcome to the forum. I am sure you will find some good support and advice here and you definately won't feel alone. although we all have different children with different needs, at the end of the day, all our children come under the umbrella of autism. There are too many ignorant people out there, who think they know everything but don't. The best way to get good, sound advice is to talk to the people that really know, and that is other parents/carers, who have been in similar situations. Hope you find the forum useful, Josie

Hi Eshaw, I have found the forum uselful for support and advice. Hope you do as well. Josie

Thanks for the advice guys. I am sure it will all work out in the end. Just need to get my head straight. Josie

Has anybody read this book. I went to a talk by Like Beardon from Sheffield University and he reconmended it. It is by PJ Hughes. If you've read it can you let me know what its like. Josie

Hi, I just wanted to say that I work in a playgroup where I have been for 5 years. We are dedicated to meeting the needs of all children regardles of their disabilities/difficulties. I am also the SENco there. My manager and I went to a conference about Inclusion and were appalled to be told that we should do a risk assessment on a child coming into the group that had additional needs. we felt that this was not inclusion, so have never done this. we welcome all children and will do ou best to meet their needs, get additional support funding, seek advice from other professionals and get referals to CDC is necessary. we have even attended the CDC with some parents to offer support. There are some groups out there who are the same as we are. This is not easy though, as to get funding for children thay have to be half their chronological age in more that 2 areas and usually you only get half an hour a session if you're lucky. This is then very hard to staff. I think this does depend on where you live though. As a staff member, I would suggest that if you are sending your child to a playgroup, you should be honest if you have any concerns about your child. Hopefully they will do what they can to help you and your child. Josie

Hi, my problem is not really ASD connected, but I guess some of it stems from it. I just wanted a little advice. C has been having problems at school throughout his school life. he is now 14. We are currently going through change of provision, which is taking forever and doesn't seem to be getting anywhere. C's big problems started about a year ago. Anyway, my other half has problems accepting C's difficulties and often blames him for his actions. which I feel are connected to his ASD. No I feel that I am doing this on my own. My husband used to be supportive, but we seem to be drifting apart. I Work in a playgroup as Deputy, so am often on training courses etc. We had a big row last week and my husband accused me of having an affair which is not true. He doesn't want to accept that I am being the way I am because I don't like the way he is treating the children. He often shouts at them for no reason and I jusy don't like his attitude towards them. This is putting us all under pressure. He didn't talk to me at all yesterday. Now I don't know where to turn. I have no family, both my parents passed away. I want wht's best for my children, but don't want to throw away my marraige either. I don't have any savings so I can't even get away for a while. I don't feel I can talk to my husband as he thinks he's right and I'm lying to him. My oldest Daughter is doing her GCSE's in May, so she doesn't need the pressure either. I just wondered what any of you would do in this situation. I feel that if I had a choice I would leave, but have got nowhere to go, so really don't know what I should do. With everything else thats going on with my son, I just need to get my head straight. Sorry for putting this all on you, but jusy needed a little advice. Not too sure where this is going though. Thanks for listening. Josie

Hi Joanne. I also no exactly how you feel. My son has always had problems controlling his anger and lashing out. Last year he broke a TA's rib when he was being removed from a classoom. All he wanted to do was stay there and do his work. He also doesn't seem to realise that this is not the way to behave. we are under a psychatrist, who has suggested trying relaxation techinques. This all sounds great, but as you probably know, usually they will just blow, with no warning. C still tells me he doesn't have any warning signs of when there may be a problem. He also lashes out when for similar reasons to your son. The only difference I have is that school don't understand that C is very bright - in set one for everything, and yet he is unable to learn to cope with this important social aspect of life. Because of this I am often told that he is using his asd as an excuse to behave badly and 'get away with it.' From experience I do not feel that this is the case, and I also have been trying to find a way to help him to learn these skills. sorry can't give you an answer to the problem, but just wanted to let you no you're not alone in this! Josie