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Elefan

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  1. Elefan

    Spammer alert

    Sorry everyone. We're working on it right now,.... Elefan
  2. Me again! It certainly sounds as if a diagnosis is long over-due so atleast the strategies and support can be tailored appropriately to her and your family. You need to have confirmation of what you are dealing with, for your own sanity! She may not have 'accepted' the tutor for the area, but she is entitled to her education and the professionals have to coordinate their time and efforts to resolve this for all your sakes. Her 'black and white stance' or 'one strike and you're out' rule (very familiar to me!) on this occasion is further evidence for you. In my humble opinion, you have to kind of accept whatever they offer you (I know that's hard - especially if you already know the outcome),...so you're not seen as putting obstacles in the way, and this would include accepting the home tutor. Then, when she refuses to engage with him (or runs screaming from the front door when he arrives!), they have to go back to the drawing board for solutions! It should be a team effort to get her back into education, but it sounds as if you are being left to your own devices far too much. My daughter is in year 8 (Scottish second year), but when she started secondary in September 2008, she imploded!!! It was a transition too far! Whilst you are struggling at home with trying to motivate her to keep her learning going, perhaps your school could recommend websites that she could log onto and do some online learning? I know such websites exist, but I'm not sure how they are accessed. My daughters teacher also sent work home and wrote to her, trying to keep the link there. I also handed in anything she did do (such as home created research or 'projects' like you describe). Anything was better than nothing. If possible, try and keep her in contact with the outside world. If she won't go out, maybe an acquaintance would come in? I know she has siblings, so maybe they can have their friends around so she is 'encouraged' to be sociable to some extent. My daughter would have liked to have been left in her own domain without ever being 'challenged', too. Very good luck with the appointments later this month. I hope there is a sense of urgency for her case and you can perhaps get fast-tracked. The longer this goes on, the harder it is to pull her back from her self imposed isolation. Take care, Elefan
  3. Hi Julia, I don't have a chance to reply properly at this moment, but wanted to at least post a 'quickie'. I have a 13 year old daughter (well, two actually! Only one with ASD though!). She is also a Twilight fan and looking forward to the next instalment later this month! I presume your daughter is obsessed with it and Robert Pattinson!? My daughter has had a long and complex journey through education to date, ranging from having no support/understanding to now being in a brilliant residential special school. She has displayed her ASD very differently, but by no means uniquely, I don't think. I think girls are more prone to inhibiting their difficulties for many years, or perhaps being Jekyll and Hyde depending upon their surroundings. I know my daughter opted for complete school refusal eventually, rather than to truly reveal to them the person she was without inhibiting (and the person we saw at home). By the time secondary school came (she is year 8 now), she couldn't sustain any facade and dropped out of school again, but it was also acknowledged that a mainstream setting wasn't going to work regardless of how much support was put in place. During a period when she was at home for a year (year 5/6), we received 5 hours home tuition from the LA. This did not start until she had been off for almost 5 months though. 5 hours was better than nothing. She still left primary with 4's and 5s in her key stage 2 sats! You shouldn't be on your own with this and you might find a tutor could bring her back on track (from Twilight) more effectively as the tutor won't be as 'familiar' to your daughter and she may work harder for them. In any case, the experiences of a recognised third party would be more evidence for you with regards to highlighting her difficulties in accessing her education. I don't know enough about your daughters circumstances or what sort of support/interventions you are having educationally or from the other services to know what hints/tips to give you. Please feel free to PM or continue this thread. My daughter was the inspiration behind setting up this site! She wouldn't be where she is now, if I hadn't received guidance and support from so many fantastic members who empowered me and opened my eyes to what her rights were. I recommend you have a good look around the topics in Education to begin with. You will inevitably find similar stories and possible strategies. Good luck! Elefan
  4. Hi Debbie, It has indeed been a long time since I saw you post, but I am so pleased to hear about this new chapter in your life. Your Mum would be so proud of you for how independent you have become! Good luck with getting everything prepared and I look forward to hearing how things go in July. Take care, Elefan xx
  5. Hi Flora, Great to hear your experience, but I think most of the credit for the success is because of your patience to ensure the transition process worked. SuzyQ, I am sorry to hear about your daughters problems. I truly hope that the help they are providing enables her to access the right school setting and create a better future for herself and give you some peace of mind. It is something that gets mentioned for my daughter quite regularly just now, too. She got formally excluded yesterday and she attacked a social worker today, too. I have visions of any school that I see saying, 'um,..no thank you' with her track record since she started secondary in September! Lots to do over the next few days..... Bid,...I spoke to someone who's lad was in the year above your boy at the special school he went to! A lad with the same name as yours, too, if that helps! Pm me if you can't work out my code! Night night, Elefan
  6. very interesting observations and good to know, Bid. Thank you. Hiya Jaded! As my daughter has found ingenious ways to avoid school or attending lessons, I personally will eat my own hat if she loves it from day one,..but the point is that your post proves it is possible and gives me hope. I'm off to travel the country to check out schools now. All to be done within the week and I only found out today!!! Take care, Elefan x
  7. Thank you JsMum. I have PM'd you. Mel,...very good luck to you, too!!! I knew I wouldn't be alone!!! Take care, Elefan xx
  8. Thanks you three. I'd be here all night writing a novel to explain why the willingness issue could be a show stopper,...but I will spare you. I have three schools on my shortlist after doing some internet and phone research. I got an email from the LEA official today naming the same three for me to investigate. LEA, CAMHS and SS are on side, but whether they manage to agree on each funding a third will remain to be seen as to how far this progresses. Bads,..how did your son transfer to secondary in september (he and my little one are the same age, I think - year 7)? Elefan x
  9. Hi, I have scoured the topics but can't find something that answers my niggling query! Our LEA and the Special ASD Unit attached to the mainstream school that my daughter attends have concluded that the placement has failed. As a result of other significant factors, everyone is in agreement that the only way she will access her education and receive the therapies she needs is to be in one environment. Home schooling is not an option either. However, she does not want an education and is resistant to being kept away from me. I just don't see how she would 'comply' with a visit to a residential school never mind a couple of nights assessment stay. The school prospectus's state that the child has to be 'willing'! So, what happens to children who are not willing, but all other settings have failed and they are considered too disruptive in the home environment, too? I don't think it is a case of her seeing the right school and suddenly clicking with it and being amenable. In any case, she enthused about the ASD Unit she is currently in before the honeymoon period ended and the position became untenable. As all residentail schools state that if a child is given a place, it is for an initial 3 month period,...I imagine any potential initial willingness will have gone after 3 months and they will be saying they can't work with her either! I know that I won't be alone in this situation, so hope someone can come along and share their experience! Kindest regards, Elefan
  10. Hi Soraya, I was very intrigued about Accipio and have looked further into this. I have a meeting tomorrow with the LEA where I want to push for Accipio and home tuition to be a back-up for my daughters education for the periods where she does not attend school. She was absent for all of 2007, with the exception of 3 weeks, during which I had to wait 5 months for 6 hours a week home tuition to kick in. Can I enquire whether you have Accipio detailed in a statement? If so, is it the primary provision in place of your child having a named school to attend? Thanks in advance for your help. Elefan
  11. Hi Kathryn and all, Thank you for the messages. <'> Deedee,...Blimey,...looks like you will soon know exactly where you stand!!! I will keep everything crossed. Please let us know how you get on! Elefan
  12. Whoa,..interesting stuff! Thank you for the replies. Why is nothing EVER simple!!!!???? My daugter had been out of school for most of 2007. She has been tentatively back in school since January, on her terms (part-time). I know that if they try to throw her to the lions and expect her to cope at a large secondary, with support, but in mainstream, she will vote with her feet and drop-out completely,...from school and any semblence of a happy life. I don't want to see her that 'broken' again. Back to the drawing board,... Elefan <'>
  13. Hi Deedee, Lets hope someone comes along who has been in this very situation! Let me know how you get on! Good luck. Elefan
  14. Hi, I was wondering if anyone could guide me on whether there is any point in appealing for the LEA to name an ASD unit within one of their mainstream schools, if the unit is already full? Would it just be a waste of time? My daughter has finally received a statement (for those of you who don't know,...she is the little girl behind us setting up this website!) but the only place we think is suitable for her is already full for the September 2008 intake. Is there anything we can do? Everything has been so last minute and she is due to move to secondary in September. I don't see why we should have to try and come up with an alternative suggestion if it takes her far away from home and would cost the LEA more money anyway! Your thoughts would be very welcome. Take care, Elefan
  15. Hi, Just to let you know that Lufty is onto this as I type. It is a 'denial service' attack, apparently!! I'm glad he knows what he is talking about!! Elefan <the non-IT literate one>
  16. Thank you all! Although I have not had the formal letter from the LEA advising of their decision to decline the Statutory Assessment requested by the school, I have been advised by the SEN Manager that part of the reason is because she is not at school and they are unable to assess her at home because of her current state of mind. I'll no doubt be back on here to pick your extremely knowledgable brains anon, once I have something official. Take care, Elefan xx
  17. Hiya Phasmid, Thanks for your reply. However,...the quote you mention says if 'they HAVE made a Statutory Assessment within six months',... I am wondering what if they HAVEN'T completed a Stat Assess, but they have declined to complete one, within the last six months. Not sure I'm making any sense here! Nothing new there then!! Elefan xx
  18. Deputy, eh!? I was thinking of using my Scottish connections to contact gordon Brown as he reckons Education will be top of his list when he takes over!! Heh heh! If only,.. I am awaiting the letter from the LEA informing us that they have declined the Stat Assessment requested by the school. I will then ponder my next step and whether it is to go to disagreement resolution or tribunal <my heart sinks just thinking about it!>. Been there,..got the 'failed' t-shirt!!! Thanks for your help all of you. xx
  19. Hi Soraya, My heart goes out to you. I don't have any very helpful advice, except could you ask for a reassessment of his needs and statement if his conditions are changing (bus phobias and probably others) in a way that affect him accessing his education? On days like today, I want to go 'public' and highlight the issue's that exist for us! I have visions of a cuppa on the GMTV sofa and an army of forum members making people sit up and listen. If only..... My daughter has been out of school since Christmas and I can't get anything for her,..not a Statutory Assessment, no Social Services respite provision,...nada!! It seems as if we are expected to continue to cope with rages and endless phobia's that make it hard to do anything and just plod along with her at home, with no end in sight! It's rediculous!!! Stay strong,..and take comfort from knowing that you are doing your very best, even if it feels as if your hard efforts don't get results. At least you won't have regrets in the future about 'what if I had tried this',etc... Elefan xx
  20. Hi, The topic header probably says enough! I can find in the COP all about the obstacles to 're'assessment (where one has already been concluded), i.e a 6 month gap between old assessment and reassessment,..BUT What about the situation where a school requests a Stat Assess, but the LEA says no to instigating one. Could we, as parents, attempt to request one?! Do we have to wait for any length of time and if so, where will I find the info, please? How long will the school have to wait if they wish to try again? Thank you for your help. I'm coming back as a Prime Minister, I think! The lack of provision, beurocracy and red tape nonsense needs a serious shake up!!! Elefan
  21. Hiya Bid! Thanks for the welcome back. Hope things are looking up for you and yours. Thank you Kathryn and Flora, too. I knew I had heard of such examples on the forum. It didn't hit me until after I had the phone call and the news about the panels decision though! Incidentally, it was a school request for an assessment, rather than a parental one. We supported them with evidence and info though. Flora,...I will keep everything crossed for you. Despite a letter from CAMHS to SS, it would appear that they have said they don't think they can offer any input/support either! Hey ho,... <'> Elefan xx
  22. Hi, I think the reason the LEA can't help at the moment is because she was only in their authority for one term (Sept-December) before she dropped out. No one knows her well enough. She also inhibits with strangers and pushes away the meetings with those people who come too close!! I have to say that the school and the LEA have so far been completely supportive and on side, which is a breath of fresh air from the area we moved from. Please keep the thoughts coming,... Thank you for the replies. <'> Elefan
  23. Hi, I have today found out that our LEA will not conduct a Statutory Assessment on my daughter as she is not currently in school. They feel they cannot assess her when she isn't actually able to go there and have the assessments/reviews done on her in the school environment. She has acute anxieties, etc, in addition to her ASD and has been unable to go at all since the beginning of the year. She has a home tutor from the LEA 3 times a week for 2 hours at a time. They have said they will adopt the Note in Lieu issued by another authority in 2004, in the event that she does return and will provide all the support the school needs to do this (including financial support). Has anyone had a Stat Assess done on their child when they have been out of school? Bid,..I think this was the case for you, wasn't it? If so, did all the relevant specialists conduct their assessments in the home environment? Thank you for your help. Very best wishes to you all in your struggles. Elefan xx
  24. Hi Curra, Apologies for butting in, but I would be interested to know if he goes to school still? My girl is out of school and also trying to isolate herself and refuse all attempts to help her. Good luck and stay strong. <'> Elefan
  25. Hi all, I can completely relate to this. Who do we call when things have got sooooo bad???? My 10 yr old is out of control. Her rages are the worste we have ever seen. She bites herself constantly the rest of the time to punish herself for what she has done during them. Nothing and no-one is out of limits when she blows and they last literally for hours. She has been out of school for almost 4 months now and has had Generalised Anxiety Disorder added to her ASD, ODD, OCD,... There is no respite and the situation takes a huge toll on her twin and the rest of the family. I feel we are reaching a crunch time and decisions will be made for us regarding her future. It is desperate when we are powerless to halt the path of self-destruction she seems to be on. She refuses all attempts to help her from Psychologists who try to see her weekly, and Psychiatrists. The trouble is, everyone says the right things and are frustrated they can't 'reach' her,... but inside I am screaming for someone to do something, before someone/something snaps!!! Would love to hear if anyone has had any success getting sedation from a professional for an extreme rage,... Good luck and you are not alone. Elefan
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