jools

Thank you , that is helpful Yes, his voice also changes to that of one younger

My 17 yr old son is going through a very bad period with a lot of stress. It is something that is affecting the whole family. As a result he is very isolated. he is at home day in, day out. He is not mixing with his peers. I have noticed that his autistic traits are much more prominent, voice levels much higher, regressing..... is this fairly normal under periods of stress?

in our school we would never dream of giving a parent a group of special needs children or indeed a group of any children who need more supervision, and that is usually the very active and inattentive ones. parents usually get their own child with a few other 'good' children leaving the rest to the staff, which is how i think it should be

well we are almost singing from the same hymn sheet! today he has come home asking to go the next village on friday (teacher training day). however this isn't possible because i need to know exactly where he is (home with his sister!) while i'm at work, and on the afternoon when i get in i'm getting ready to go away for the weekend. his dad will be in early afternoon but we also have a younger one so it just isn't possible for him to do this on friday. plus, if i'm honest, i don't want him doing this while i'm not here! the next thing was that everyone is going ice skating on saturday. ok i said so long as you are happy to go knowing you can't skate. (i am happy for him to go) then he says he can't cos he can't tie shoe laces and he doesn't feel happy asking a friend. so i have suggested his sister and her friend go along. she can sort his boots out for him then just be there if he needs her. they are both happy about this so he is getting his freedom even if it is restricted at this stage!! he has also suggested to his friends going to the cinema on monday as it is 1/2 term. i will have 2 spaces in the car so have said if 2 friends want to come back here they can. then if they do go out and wander (which is still under debate!) it will be in streets he is used to. thanks for listening to my rambling but this is the only place i think i can say this without people thinking i'm a paranoid mother.......i'm not.....honest.....lol

Hi, i haven't posted for ages so hope you don't mind me popping my head back in! G is now in y7, having started secondary school in Sept. so far so good!! support is in place and he has a very good senco, who i have a good relationship with too. he has settled into his new school better than anyone could have imagined he has made new friends and is on to his second girlfriend lol he is now asking to go out more, which is great, and whilst i have tried to limit this to organised things such as the cinema so i know where he is, and that i will be picking him up he now wants to venture further. his 'girlfriend' and some other new friends live in the next village. i would have to take him over and pick him up but i am resisting i have all these reasons why he shouldn't go..............i don't know these kids, or their families, i don't know what they will get up to or where they will go. i have no reason to think they will do anything they shouldn't i just need to know G is safe! on the other hand he really is happy. probably the happiest i have seen him. by not letting him go am i holding him back? his social skills can still leave a lot to be desired (or so i think) but he appears to be popular, a view backed up by the school. please give me some advice and tell me your experiences before my head explodes

i'm going on a parents conference today with the head of education for the lea, head of disabililty team and head of social services. think there are others too but i forget who! apparantly the lea have a pot on money to spend on SEN and under the new 'every child matters' cannot spend it without consultling parents. this is the first meeting of its kind in this area and although changes will never happen over night i think its sooo important to try. so wish me luck for today!

well the meeting went well in that he is now getting his 10hrs support! some of the support is coming from an additional teacher being with him rather than a teaching assistant due to staff shortages but i don't care. he needs support from someone and if that has to be a teacher then so be it. i'm sure my name will be mud but i don't care about that either.....i've learnt to grow thick skin!!

i had a phone call last night from the senco. head teacher has passed letter to her. she has asked me to go in today to discuss his new provisional timetable and iep targets. will let you know what happens!

i rang parent partnership who suggested sending letter into school with a date of next friday, which i did. i didn't send copy to lea but if no reply then i will aswell as asking school for a copy of complaints procedure. thanks for the advice. you are all fab!

I am writing a letter to the head teacher asking when my sons statemented hours will be fully implemented. so far only 8 of the 10 hrs are being provided. i will be taking the letter in tomorrow and want to put a date on by which i want a reply. i was going to give 2 weeks. do you think this is too much or about right?

ok, actual wording........ '.....the LA will provide funding equivalent to 10hrs per week of TA time which the school can use flexibly in conjunction with other devolved and school based resources to meet his needs. these resources can be delivered in a variety of ways such as small group, individualised support etc, so that teh actual time when support is available in his class may well be greater than the level indicated above.' at the moment he gets TA time for 8 hrs a week. she is there to support him but he has told me of at least one occasion when she took out another child who was struggling. he said he was fine but thats not really the point. i will ring the LA tomorrow.

my son started secondary school in sept. his statement is for 10hrs support but so far he is only receiving 8hrs. when i asked the school again this week when he would get his 10hrs i was told that due to staff shortage they didn't know. but i was then told that his TA and senco meet every day to discuss him so that counts within the 10 hrs. how much of his 10 hrs, if any, should be used for time like this? personally, as he only has 10hrs i want it all to go on supporting him in class

i didn't get copies of th reports but they have been put in his school file. am i entitled to ask for a copy? (still stewing on it.....lol)

oh and!!!!!! (can you tell i'm stewing over this) in the TA report she made a comment that he was obviously used to getting his own way excuse me!! i don't flippin think so but without clear boundaries he is no mind reader!

i asked today if the TA had even seen his statement and was told yes. i have asked that she be shown it again along with the notes i sent in. i've also offered to send in my notes (essay?) from the assessment process which detail more than everything! senco suggested another meeting in 4 weeks. the detentions, telling offs and tie problem have all been a problem with the same teacher who is the head of year 7. if she can't understand him then he is off to a bad start. he already dislikes her and refuses to go to her for anything i am trying to be patient and he is supported at home but you have hit nail on the head. he is desperate to fit in and needs support. as for the tie, well what can i say. the way i feel tonight i could gladly wrap it around someones neck i'm ringin the senco about it on monday to explain i don't intend to be doing his tie for him. for his own independance he needs to do it even if it isn't perfect. as you say...a bit of understanding would go a long way!