Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
star

temper/anger

Recommended Posts

Although not diagnosed my DH does show traits of AS and one area I find very difficult is at times of stress he can be quick to temper and shout alot (quite loudly). It usually doesn't last very long but it really un-nerves and unsettles me and makes me feel very low afterwards whilst he just seems to be fine and get back to normal!

 

Is this common with AS? and does anyone have any tips of how he can try and control this?

 

He is much better than a few years ago and more recently it was only happening every couple of months but we have had a stressful year (close family death) and it has been more frequent because of this I think.

 

Any advice of how he can control this or how I can cope with this appreciated. It is really driving a wedge in pir marriage.

 

Thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My son shout all the time i've just gotten used to it, the school referred him for a hearing test as they thought, he may have hearing problems, which i knew he didnt have, just has selective hearing most of the time.

I dont think he realises hes doing it most of the time but has to be asked quite alot to queiten down, but it doesnt last long.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have Aspergers syndrome, and my older brother does. We both have problems controlling our temper. I shout very loudly when I lose my temper, I usually play some music to try to calm myself down.

 

Sorry to hear that your family have had a stressful year, that is probably why it has been more frequent, I lost someone close a few years ago, and the stress made me lose my temper a lot more than usual.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It could be sensory - maybe when he gets angry he needs to hear loud noise so makes it himself. If he's just making noise for the sake of it you could try incorporating it into his day in other, more socially-acceptable ways. Or it could just be the anger itself, in which case you'll need to get to know what triggers the anger and make allowances for it. Recognising where it starts and heading it off at the pass is they key, but it's incredibly hard as the rules keep changing.

 

Sorry, that probably didn't help much :unsure:

Karen

x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

oo my ex husband used to do this too and so does el...its hard isnt it! i find the best thing is to try and walk away from the situation before it escalates....not always easy tho is it. and it used to really upset me that i never got an apology.....it built up resentment in the end until that was what most of our relationship was.... :tearful:

 

the only other advise i could give is to try to remember that it might not be personal even tho it feels it...its a stress symptom.....sending you a big hug >:D<<'>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Star,

 

My DH does this (he isn't AS). He finds it really difficult to have a "discussion" (as I would call it) and tends to raise his voice and shout. I don't like it as I find I can easily sit and discuss something without getting riled, which probably makes him worse if I'm honest. I find if he's upset about something he'll shout about it, and then it evaporates and its all over with. Me on the other hand will stay calm and secretly seethe, go very quiet and it will last days.....I s'pose everyone has their own way of dealing with their anger and frustration. I really don't like him shouting....it doesn't achieve anything. If its any consolation my DH doesn't see it as an issue either, and to him it doesn't matter what is said when he's angry, he was angry, and he struggles to understand why I might be upset about it afterwards. Maybe its a man - woman thing. :wacko::wacko:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...