Adults on the Spectrum

[hedders]

Do you have a diagnoses? is life any better knowing

Are you an adult without a diagnoses but knows?

What gift do you feel you have?

Is life more diffcult being a adult how do you try and overcome or cope with the diffculties?

Do you wish you were identifed when young?

Are you a parent with children also on the specturm?

I am 31yrs old with no diagnoses and it wasnt until i had children when i noticed patterns repeating and didnt understand why? I have grown up thinking and feeling different from others but never thought why now my eldest dd has suspected ASD, i cant decide if diagnoses makes life any easier?

But then again i wish that i was identifed when young and feel that a large part of my life was wasted by not understanding why everything caused me so much stress,

[TheNeil]

Hmm, lots of questions and lots of conflicting answers.

 

I'm dx'd and I went down the dx route as I felt 'different' from everyone else, couldn't understand why I got upset by certain things but not by others, why I could some things really but other (supposedly 'simple') things were nigh on impossible etc.

 

As to whether it makes life easier or not, that's a tricky one and, to a certain degree, it may depend on how frustrated you are not knowing, how much time you spend wondering etc. I thought that being dx'd would saolve all of my problems and that everyone would instantly know what to do and that everything would get easier. The sad truth is, it doesn't get easier. In some ways it makes life 'calmer' and 'make sense' but knowing what you are is a world away from getting other people to understand what you are and, in some respects, actually isolates you as people don't know how to react or behave any more.

 

Internally though I've found that it does help to know. I now know my limitations and don't waste time doing things that I simply won't ever be able to do (and save myself a lot of frustration and anger in the process), so instead I can channel that energy into things that I can do. I now also know why certain situations, people, events and things upset me so, in a bizarre twist, they don't upset me as much as I know that there's a rational reason for my reactions (and not some hitherto undiscovered brain tumour or loony tune head problem).

 

Given the choice of living in blissful ignorance or facing reality, I think I'd still chose reality. It might be a selfish attitude but if the rest of the world has a problem with someone having an ASD (or whatever condition/disability/whatever) then that's there problem, not mine.

 

Does that make any sense whatsoever?

[Tally]

My diagnosis is not official; it is the opinion of someone not permitted to make an official diagnosis . . . but I have just (finally) been referred to someone who can make the diagnosis!

 

When I first read about Asperger's, and realised that it explained all the problems and difficulties I'd had, it did make a lot of things make sense. The unofficial diagnosis re-affirmed that, and hopefully the official diagnosis will re-affirm it some more. It helped me to understand that I am different, not inferior. I have a LOT of trouble fitting in and making friends. I used to think there must be something wrong with me that makes people not like me, but the understanding that I have Asperger's showed me that the reason I don't have many friends is predominantly that I simply do not make much effort to make friends. Not only that, but I am generally fairly happy without many friends anyway.

 

In some ways I with I had been diagnosed at a young age. I think it could have made my school days easier to cope with if I and the teachers had understood my difficulties. But it is my experiences which have shaped the person I am today, and without them, I would be a different person . . . so in that sense, I wouldn't change anything.

 

I am not a parent, but I am convinced my cat is autistic! My father and some other relatives also seem to have autistic tendencies.

[Mumble]

Hi Hedders,

 

I would certainly ditto much of what TheNeil has said. I was diagnosed 12 days ago (I'm 27) after a lifetime of feeling 'different', as if I didn't quite fit, and getting really angry with myself for not being able to do 'simple' things (and really annoyed with others for not being able to do what I think of as 'simple' things!!! )

 

Unfortunatly, I'm starting to see that where I had hoped that in terms of other people being understanding things would get easier, and I would be able to access support for the things I have difficulty with, it doesn't get easier. The people who understood and supported me before continue to do so, the people who don't/won't understand (which unfortunatly includes people who should understand like counsellors etc), continue to be unable to understand. I'm at the position now of whether I tell people I come into contact with daily (or whether I just let them continue to ignore me) and I'm just not sure what is the best option. There is so much ignorance out there about ASDs.

 

Would it have helped if I had been diagnosed earlier? Well, yes in terms of not having to feel 'different' without explanation, but, it comes back to the ignorance thing again - if I had been diagnosed as a child at a time of total ignorance (as opposed to almost total ignorance) I wonder how different my life would have been and if I would have had the same opportunities, or whether these would have been denied me by virtue of a label.

 

However, not wanting to sound totally negative, I think TheNeil makes some really important points about self-knowledge, knowing why you are as you are and knowing your own strengths and limits. This to me is important and I think will become more so as I get used to my diagnosis. One of the biggest immediate things for me was knowing that I wasn't going mad:

 

I now also know why certain situations, people, events and things upset me so, in a bizarre twist, they don't upset me as much as I know that there's a rational reason for my reactions (and not some hitherto undiscovered brain tumour or loony tune head problem).

 

I know that might sound a bit strange, but given that I'd had so much of the 'can't be AS and intelligent' from so called professionals , and them wanting to refer me to mental health teams, it was a real relief. So for now, I think I would say I'm glad I have the diagnosis, and would rather than than continue to live in a state of not knowing.

[TheNeil]

Hi Hedders,

 

I would certainly ditto much of what TheNeil has said. I was diagnosed 12 days ago (I'm 27) after a lifetime of feeling 'different', as if I didn't quite fit, and getting really angry with myself for not being able to do 'simple' things (and really annoyed with others for not being able to do what I think of as 'simple' things!!! )

 

Hi Mumble,

 

Didn't realise that you'd only just been dx'd (must have missed it if you made a post about it - I'm terrible for doing that). I was dx'd getting on for a year ago now (I'm 32) and I wish I could say that it gets better over time but, in my experience, most people just don't 'get it' and never will - I only hope you don't go through some of the lows that I went through (feel free to PM me at any time if you want to ask anything, see if I can offer any advice etc.). Even now I wonder whether I should tell people or not. I think that people who care about you will continue to care about you regardless of what you 'have' - people that don't care couldn't give a <insert rude word here> anyway.

 

I've found that the biggest changes are within you (oh God, that sounds 'mystical' and 'hippie') but once it sunk in I found myself being less tolerant, less willing to 'put myself out' and more aware of what I want to do/be rather than trying desperately hard to 'conform'. It took me a long time (several months - that's a long time for me)(hell, 10 minutes is a long time for me) to realise it and come to terms with it but I am different and all of the years of trying to fit in were, basically, living a lie. Now I know that I'm genuinely 'different' and there's a very real reason for it (and not just some 'imaginary thing') so I can styop 'living a lie' and just be what I really am.

 

By the way, who on Earth said 'can't be AS and intelligent'? Were they living in a parallel world or something? Us Aspies are supposed to be average or above average intelligence - 'can't be AS and intelligent' indeed tsk tsk tsk.

[Mumble]

Thanks TheNeil,

 

Good to see that you're as 'positive' as me about this - hopefully it's really helpful to Hedders

 

The telling people bit - I think you've summed it up nicely - I find the people who don't 'get it' generally don't want to get it, it's not that they're trying to and can't understand. What worries me is that I don't know how people are going to react to being told, and that once I've told them, I can't 'untell' them or remove their prejudices (at least not until we invent time-travel).

 

I only hope you don't go through some of the lows that I went through (feel free to PM me at any time if you want to ask anything, see if I can offer any advice etc.)

Thanks - you may regret that offer!!

 

I've found that the biggest changes are within you (oh God, that sounds 'mystical' and 'hippie')

Ermmm - yeesss . . .

Maybe I'll keep that one to myself - people seem to think I'm a little wierd anyway, without the need to add a mystical element - oh, what they don't know!!!

 

By the way, who on Earth said 'can't be AS and intelligent'? Were they living in a parallel world or something? Us Aspies are supposed to be average or above average intelligence - 'can't be AS and intelligent' indeed tsk tsk tsk.

Counsellor, psychiatrist, parents . . . Parallel world, hmm, no I'm not letting them have that one - I'll just stick with the 'something'. Anyway, I received my report from my assessment today, so I have 'proof' that they're wrong . . . now how would one go about making a complaint Maybe I'll start some mass education exercise (on a small scale )

 

Mumble

 

p.s.

10 minutes is a long time for me

- 10 minutes is always (at least by everyday time on Earth, excusing leap-seconds etc etc) 10 minutes. 600 seconds, no more, no less - time does not come in 'long' and 'short' varieties!!!

[oxgirl]

I'm pretty sure that I could put a name to some of the problems I have/had as a child, possibly AS with OCD tendancies with maybe a little TS thrown in (I had tics as a child and still do sometimes if extremely stressed, but am very good at keeping them under control). I have always felt 'different' as well and that I didn't quite fit in. My probs as a child were put down to shyness or anxiety and depression due to family problems and I was put on anti-depressants at aged 10.

 

Looking back there were times when I struggled but I did manage ok on the whole and I'm quite glad in a way that I wasn't diagnosed as I think, for me, it would have caused me even more anxiety back then and to feel even more different. My problems weren't discussed really and I learnt to hide them very well, I suppose (not sure if that's a good thing or not).

 

It's only really after having a son with AS that I have thought seriously about myself and sometimes I'm curious and wonder about finding out for sure, but I'm not that motivated to do it and I don't think it would make much difference to my life if I knew one way or another really, so I just carry on being me.

 

What gift do I feel I have?? - well I can write forwards with my left hand and backwards with my right hand simultaneously, if that's any good! It's my party trick in fact.

 

~ Mel ~

[Noetic]

I was diagnosed in December 2003 (provisionally) by a neurologist with ADD and an ASD (non-specific) and then in January 2004 by Mary Myers in Sheffield as AS/HFA following written correspondence (Email) and several hours of questioning etc.

 

Unfortunately Ms Myers retired shortly afterwards and my neurologist was an ADD specialist (not AS/ASD) and died last year, so while it's on my records now I have not actually had any support so far and apart from KNOWING for sure now I have not gained much from diagnosis. However it has given me the courage to approach a few people "off the record" including Prospects (as I am working so they cannot yet provide support - they are organising funding for cases like that though) which I am not sure I would have been able to do without having my diagnosis in writing.

[Flora]

For me, having confirmation was a bit of a non-event. I thought that having a professional confirm what I already knew would be the green light to allow me to become functional but it's left me feeling probably more puzzled than ever. I've recently started questioning the methods I'm using with my own children... for instance... I wonder if my over sensitivity and insight into Bill's difficulties have prevented him from being able to help himself. It's documented (I can't remember where) that mothers on the spectrum are very intuitive where their children are concerned and this is certainly true for me, but it means that I never push him to do things he's uncomfortable with. In my own life my mum was the one who wouldn't stand for me being dysfunctional... she pushed, cajoled and sometimes terrified me into getting on with things. It's the same even now. I can go for weeks in a kind of apathy, indulging in whatever obsession I have at the time, but as soon as I know my mum is coming to stay I galvanise into action and start pretending to be normal (for want of a better expression). She point blank refuses to discuss or accept the fact that I am on the spectrum. I can't make up my mind whether her way is better or not... though I'm obviously leaning strongly towards 'not'. You can't cure it, but I wonder if it was her hard attitude that made me so able to act, but then again it hasn't exactly done me any good. I'm not exactly a failure; I have a nice home, 3 wonderful children (2 on the spectrum), supportive (though extremely odd ) friends, etc etc, but I'm totally aware of how different I feel. I go through phases, usually when I've had plenty of sleep and am feeling well, when I can function adequately and live life to the full... but on the whole I spend my life in a very narrow comfort zone working out ways to get everything done but also avoiding all the people and situations that make me feel uncomfortable. Socially I cope by emulating someone I admire, using their mannerisms and body language... and it works a treat! I suppose that's how all of us learn but I'm guessing that by the time NT people reach adulthood they are who they are, whereas I tend to use different personas in different situations... although the opinions I express and anything I may say are the real me.

 

As for obsessions, they vary alot. When I was a teenager I was obsessed with all things medical (I had dozens of graphic medical books) and so became a nurse. I've had several career changes because I find it really difficult to stick to one thing and keep interested in it.. as soon as I get bored I find an excuse to move on. I always have a colour obsession which permeates into what I wear, what I eat, what I buy for the house... even cleaning things... at the minute all my kitchen sprays, laundry stuff has to be pink! If it isn't pink it won't do... I once had such an obsession on flipflops I ran out of places to buy them! I have obsessions with authors... and various topics... My present obsessions are the colour pink, the paranormal, playing solitaire, and books written by Phillipa Gregory and shoes. When my daughter was small I had a 'thing' about her shoes that I think the women in the shoe department thought I was off my head

 

As for what gift I have, my first response would be none! But on reflection, I have the ability to remember tiny details about things that are of no use to anyone whatsoever! I can never remember what people look like, and certainly rarely recognise people out of context, but I can remember everything they said and often what they were wearing. Everyone who knows me comments on my ability to recall these details, but then I'm totally scatty about important things.

 

Anyway, I'm trully wittering now.... hope somewhere in this garble I've answered at least one or two of your questions!

 

Flora

[Bullet]

Do you have a diagnoses? is life any better knowing

 

Yes, I am diagnosed Aspergers and yes, life is definitely better for knowing.

 

Are you an adult without a diagnoses but knows?

 

See above

What gift do you feel you have?

 

No real gift, but I can read a page in a few seconds and can talk backwards.

 

Is life more diffcult being a adult how do you try and overcome or cope with the diffculties?

 

To be honest it's only when I sit down and think about it that I realise just how much I do struggle with things. I have a lot of problems with selfhelp skills, organisation, being distracted or concentrating too much on one thing. But I have a very supportive dh and a lot more choices than when I was a child or adolescent.

 

Do you wish you were identifed when young?

I would have liked to have had more support, but so little was known about the autism spectrum then that it might have been more damaging. Also, I would not have liked to have been told that things like my handflapping and finger biting were stims that must be stopped.

 

Are you a parent with children also on the specturm?

 

Yes, I have a three year seven month old who was diagnosed as being on the spectrum at two years eight months. He is similar in some ways to me and completely different in others.

[badonkadonk]

For me (diagnosed just over a year ago two weeks before my 23rd birthday) it's pretty much the same as above.

 

Being diagnosed doesn't make any difference in terms of other people understanding me, sometimes it can be a positive thing when people are already aware of AS, sometimes it can be a negative thing because people don't know what AS is at all and therefore don't even bother talking to you/being around you because they are not quite sure what to do. Whereas there is the possibility that if I hadn't told them I was AS they might have at least talked to me for 5 minutes before deciding I was a complete wacko

 

Knowing about Aspergers makes a huge difference in terms of understanding myself and others on the spectrum. Myself and the world around me is beginning to make more and more sense as I go on and I'm beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to me understanding a Neurotypical psyche. I'm now beginning to understand that some people just do things and others don't, like selfishness or acting in a way that will hurt others just to benefit themselves. I still don't understand why it happens but I'm beginning to accept that it happens and that there isn't a lot I can do to change it and that I am different to these people so I'm less likely to fall into this mode of thinking (as I'm terrifying of doing, I never want to be a bad person). I know this sounds random but it is the problems that I've had personally understanding how some people can be like they are when it seems so alien to me. Knowing what I know now about Aspergers and being reaffirmed in my belief that I am simply wired differntly to other people, I can begin to gain some acceptance and understanding about the actions of others. That's not to say I accept that these actions are correct or how these actions take place in the first place, but even a little understanding makes a huge difference when it comes to being able to place myself in the world. I find I am finally beginning to ask "but why?" a whole lot less.

 

As to the whole tell or not tell issue, what happened to me this weekend is a classic example and not exactly a positive experience. I'm not sure, given another chance, I would have done things any differently as at least now those involved know I am different and that I have Aspergers and, for the most part, it will be some sort of explanation to them. The price I pay is I am still cut off, ignored and wanted to dissappear so I don't make people feel uneasy being around me/not knowing how to deal with me.

 

It was my soon to be sister-in-laws hen party this weekend, a murder mystery weekend in Harrogate. I had never experienced a murder mystery before and had no idea what I was in for. I was also meeting the 'hen's' family and friends and work colleagues for the first time as given the 4 hour drive between us and where my brother and his girlfriend live, meeting extended family members and friends isn't exactly ever on the cards. So when we all met in the bar on the Friday night we were all given stickers to wear explaining our connection to the hen. Before my stickers was done the murder mystery actors started to arrive in the bar and began playing out their scene before us. But the thing I didn't realise what would happen is that they start talking to you and interacting with you. You become part of the story, in this instance a perfume launch for the make believe company the characters worked for, so in turn you are now at the perfume launch at the hotel and they mingle with you as if you were guests at their launch party. Now as you can imagine this freaked me right out, random strangers coming up to me talking about an imaginary perfume. There were characters arguing and having heated conversations everywhere, random people getting in my face, shrieks and shouting and clapping from my hen party and another party of girls celebrating a 21st birthday party as well as other groups of guests along for the weekend. HELL ON EARTH! Anyway I had an idea with my mum, we thought it would work. On my sticker I had Emily - Sister in Law to be and then underneath wrote 'Autistic - please do not be offended if I don't reply ' (the smiley face was included on the sticker). I flashed this at the actors when they approached me and to be fair most of them got it and turned their attention to my mum and sister when it came to asking questions and expecting answers. When other members of the hen party saw it though all it did was stop them making it all the way to me to talk to me, instead I found a lot of them suddenly found themselves walking in any other direction finding any other person to talk to. The most embarrasing and soul destroying thing happened though when we all moved through into the dining room to sit down for the evening meal (how I survived this weekend I'll never know!). We got stuck on a table with the woman from hell who I can't even allude to just in case anyone on here knows her Anyway she's involved in teaching and so should at least be aware that Autism exists you would expect, but apparently not. She didn't know who we were so shouted across the table, what does your stickers say? First she read out Steph's sticker and then mine. I assumed she would stop at the Autistic bit but Noooooooo, not only did she not stop she went "Autistic (pause) (very loudly) AUTISTIC! HA HA HA Don't be offended if I don't reply HA HA HA, have you seen this (nudges her daughter and two of the hen's other work colleagues) AUTISTIC DON'T BE OFFENDED HA HA HA HA" I just mumbled "it's not a joke" and then my head sank very low and everything went quiet. I was tempted to stick my head in my tomato soup just to escape the ringing of the laughter in my ears but fortunately the woman had the good grace to be quiet for the next five minutes.

 

The rest of the weekend went ok I guess, I kept out of this woman's way and a few people attempted to talk to me, bizarrely it made it easier for people to talk to me once we had all donned fancy dress for the Saturday evening. I was dressed as a Chav which didn't exactly go down well with the 21st Birthday group who were actually Chavs in real life. If dirty looks could kill I would be a multiple stab victim. But by and large people kept their distance and preferred instead to talk to my mum or sister. To be fair it's kinda what I wanted and I know I can't have my cake and eat it but part of me felt lonely and excluded too. It's a hard line to walk and I suppose by putting that message out there about not replying I instantly put people off, but what else was I to do? The characters would have never left me alone and people would have been asking me about myself all night which on reflection is one hundred times worse than being ignored.

 

It seems there is no answer and no easy way to achieve a good balance when it comes to disclosure, the only thing you can do is keep trying I guess

 

To answer other questions, I wish I had known as soon as possible to understand it. My school years were very rough and would have been made somewhat better by those around me and myself knowing about Aspergers.

 

I have a three little talents, not sure whether I'd classify them as gifts as they don't really serve much of a purpose I can read two pages at once. I notice tiny details and changes that others dont, my ears are especially good at noticing pitching changes and I can often recall things in much more detail than others can because of my tendancy to notice all the things that other people generally don't tend to. I am also a good problem solver and have a good instinct for things (great for co-ordinating outfits/decorating rooms as my mum has found out).

 

Emily

xxx

 

PS sorry to slightly hijack the post, but for those who know about Bettys in Harrogate, I went this weekend!! The queue to get a table nearly killed me, too many strangers, too many noises but I had Cinnamon toast and THE BEST banana milkshake ever, even if we did have to sit downstairs where it stank of fish (for some reason!). I got some scones though for Sunday tea and I was tempted by the Betty Chocolate Coffee creams but resisted for now, there is always the mail order service in future!

Edited February 20, 2007 by badonkadonk

[hedders]

Interesting feedbacks your all very gifted people, i can agree that labells arent essential it is the support that can be benefical.

If getting ready to go out, i feel the need to look better than anyone else it can take me days to choose clothes to wear, on the night i start feeling anxious then when meeting friends im a nervous wreak start binge drinking to help settle the nerves and end up targeting someone to fire questions at rather than group talk my behaviour can be some what erratic, and wake next day feeling so guilty which can last for days.

This is one of my diffculties

A gift maybe? very good judge of character i spent my whole life watching others i seem to notice a pattern with peoples faces matching different behaviours like a puzzle.

My thought process is very deep and can get frustrated with myself that others cant see what i see because it seems so obvious but i do remind myself there not like me and thats why im special.

Im very literal which could explain why iam a perfectionist and i do memorize information if people inform me of my mistakes so i dont make them again, doesnt help when i believe peoples stories which are full of nonsense

Im very sensative by peoples comments and since going down the route of identifying my dd needs with school and professionals which has been a battle i find there comments have been so hurtful only now that they acknowledge older dd needs but refuse to believe me about younger dd and pead comes out with comments about her behaviour saying she is testing me, not good for my self-esteem.

When i isolate my world to the rest Im the most laid back person people know and my friends says it because i have no emotions which is true (ha ha) and says im eccentric i tend to keep my coat and scarf on all day when im at home. Im obsessive with tidying incase people visit and when they do im so restless and dont engage much with their conversations but luckily my 2 friends are chatter boxes so i dont have to fill the empty silences, makes it easier on me, i tend to be drawn into people like this.

I do rely on people around me as i lack common sense and always ask how i should act or respond when i come across hurdles in life

As you can tell im no good at spelling not a perfectionist in this area.

Edited February 21, 2007 by hedders

[Bullet]

My older sister's first job was working in Betty's in Harrogate badonkadonk . She introduced me to the wonders of cinnamon toast.

[Gerrard]

Hello,

 

Diagnosed asperger, November 2006.

 

I honestly don't know.

 

I thought I would have answers to, well, all my questions really. It hasn't worked out that way.

But why should it? Just because I've been diagnosed Aspergers, doesn't mean that life should turn out the way I think it should. Even though, I think life should turn out the way I THINK.

I feel in a bit of limbo. Do I accept this? Isn't it what I always believed anyway?

 

When I first posted on this site, it was pre-diagnosis (although I knew). I only felt confident, in myself, about posting after receiving diagnosis. If there is one thing about receiveng diagnosis, I guess, it's some confidence in yourself.

 

Then again.....my first opinion...I honestly don't know.

 

Gerry

[Noetic]

I've recently started questioning the methods I'm using with my own children... for instance... I wonder if my over sensitivity and insight into Bill's difficulties have prevented him from being able to help himself. It's documented (I can't remember where) that mothers on the spectrum are very intuitive where their children are concerned and this is certainly true for me, but it means that I never push him to do things he's uncomfortable with. In my own life my mum was the one who wouldn't stand for me being dysfunctional...

Same here - Both my parents show some ASD traits (but differently) as do various relatives on both sides, but my Mum is more NT than my Dad and she was a "retrained" ex-left-handed person so I guess she was used to the idea of pushing and challenging a child to do something they seem unable to do as well as others.

 

Although my Dad also helped when it came to getting me to improve ball-catching skills etc. but I do remember how much I was always looking forward to my Dad coming home over lunch break because he would allow me to read over lunch and when my Mum started working I could always waffle at my Dad about my interests (if I had ones I liked talking about, some have always been very private & I preferred reading about them) whereas my Mum always made it very clear I wasn't allowed to do that 'at' her.

 

I definitely think I have learned more skills thanks to this often unpleasant challenging but at the same time they have always let me be myself to some degree - it was more important to them that I learned a skill than that I learned to do it a certain way, for example.

 

It's the same even now. I can go for weeks in a kind of apathy, indulging in whatever obsession I have at the time, but as soon as I know my mum is coming to stay I galvanise into action and start pretending to be normal (for want of a better expression). She point blank refuses to discuss or accept the fact that I am on the spectrum.

Same here - both parents, especially my Dad, keep regaling me with stories of how I toe-walked or was in my own world with my building blocks that I sucked or lined or piled up etc. etc. or how I later used to complain about lack of friends and having no idea how to socialise etc. but any mention of there being anything actually different about me gets them in a flap about how I think I am inferior etc. etc. (I don't!).

 

As for obsessions, they vary alot. When I was a teenager I was obsessed with all things medical (I had dozens of graphic medical books)

I used to love those, I used to climb up bookshelves as a little kid to get at them and read/looked at them all the time - my Dad's best medical book had a fold-out woman (with all the organs etc. detailed) which I LOVED!

 

I've had several career changes because I find it really difficult to stick to one thing and keep interested in it.. as soon as I get bored I find an excuse to move on.

Same here but I've been lucky to have a job that varies a lot and where I can set the pace most of the time so I have kept the job so far.

[TheNeil]

p.s. - 10 minutes is always (at least by everyday time on Earth, excusing leap-seconds etc etc) 10 minutes. 600 seconds, no more, no less - time does not come in 'long' and 'short' varieties!!!

 

This is true unless you subscribe to the theory that time is not a constant and that time shifts at different speeds on a universe wide scale. In this case our perception of '10 minutes' would always remain as '10 minutes' even though, if time was moving slowly we would have no way of perceiving it any differently. Of course if time is moving at a different speed, there would need to a further dimension against which to measure time against/within. Or something.

 

Next week on Quantum Theory and Cosmology for Beginners...

[Gerrard]

If you're looking for a 'gift', then look long and hard. I play guitar, mandolin, mouth organ and tinkle on piano. I understand metaphysics, (philosophy), physics, chemistry, and all the surrounding world, (whether explained by science, philosophy or religion) and I still don't know what I'm trying to say.

Socrates, Christ, Descartes, Jean Paul Sartre (Being And Nothingness is the best thing I've ever read...but don't ask me to explain). I'm not trying to appear smart.....I have read and understood these things.........no-one cares. It's not a gift when you can't get paid, ie....turn it into a living wage.

 

I'd rather I was 'normal', like my brother or sister or friends, who manage their lives, who have families and lives.

 

Me........Isn't it great....check out the geek chic

[Mumble]

This is true unless you subscribe to the theory that time is not a constant and that time shifts at different speeds on a universe wide scale. In this case our perception of '10 minutes' would always remain as '10 minutes' even though, if time was moving slowly we would have no way of perceiving it any differently. Of course if time is moving at a different speed, there would need to a further dimension against which to measure time against/within. Or something.

 

Next week on Quantum Theory and Cosmology for Beginners...

 

Ok, fair enough . .. I suppose I could always not subscribe to that theory. And anyway, you've used the 'something' line again - resulting in you measuring time against/within the planet of the non-understanders (re. your earlier post)!!! Apologies I have a bit of an obsession with time and keeping to time - I think it all started when I disturbed someone and was asked to wait for a good 5 minutes before coming back. I had a very good 5 minutes, and went back exactly on time - !!!!!!!!!

 

I look forward to Quantum Theory next week - sounds like an excellent source of procrastination (hmm, can that be a gift?)

[Gerrard]

Time, of course, in itself, is meaningless. It only gains any meaning when applied to thought, and then it only has fleeting relevance to that particular thought, time is gone, and therefor meaningless. OOps I think I just dissappeared up my own backside. Not pleasant.

Edited February 21, 2007 by Gerrard

[Mumble]

Time, of course, in itself, is meaningless. It only gains any meaning when applied to thought, and then it only has fleeting relevance to that particular thought, time is gone, and therefor meaningless. OOps I think I just dissappeared up my own backside. Not pleasant.

 

Eugh! Hmm, it seems I am procrastinating and avoiding the philosophy articles I'm supposed to be reading to engage with philosophy here - arrrgghhh

 

Time as meaningless except in application to thought is one of two theories; I would subscribe to the other more realist position (purely by virtue of the fact that I find 'meaningless' difficult - except when applied to NT conversations ) - now that's something the diagnosis has helped with - I know that there's a reason I find such conversations meaningless and I'm not going to push myself to pretend to be 'normal' in this respect!!!

[Gerrard]

Eugh! Hmm, it seems I am procrastinating and avoiding the philosophy articles I'm supposed to be reading to engage with philosophy here - arrrgghhh

 

Time as meaningless except in application to thought is one of two theories; I would subscribe to the other more realist position (purely by virtue of the fact that I find 'meaningless' difficult - except when applied to NT conversations ) - now that's something the diagnosis has helped with - I know that there's a reason I find such conversations meaningless and I'm not going to push myself to pretend to be 'normal' in this respect!!!

 

I am an eejit sorry, I had nothing to say, really, but just felt like, well saying something, anything.

 

I don't think there is any need for the though

Edited February 21, 2007 by Gerrard

[Noetic]

As far as wishing I had known as a kid is concerned - most yes I do wish so BUT considering the reaction I had as a kid when my parents tried to explain things to me and commented about things I wasn't good at (I had a lot of black/white thinking back then, far more than now), I am not sure I would have accepted it.

 

I remember watching Rain Man when I was maybe 12 or 14 and I got really upset and angry at my Mum (although I doubt anyone ever mentioned Autism in connection with me).

[allsetuk]

this is interesting , as my son was diagnosed in january and we have had two years till this decision, the more it has gone on i realise he is a Mini - Me and I am just wondering now should i go for a diagnosis and how and where to make this happen , i would be much happier i think as i have always been told i am a wierdo loner and im so talented but do nothing about it, so my self esteem has sunk to an all time low over 34 years .... getting invited out for coffee is a scary prospect and i prefer to be alone ...always have ....if i cant sit in a specific seat in a room it stresses me out, i always need to be in a corner at the back ..my family have always said im condascending and authoritarian and ive just isolated myself more and more , happy in my own world with my own obsessions - i can sing and write full peices of music by ear... now my son is in the same boat .. How have any of you gone about getting a diagnosis ..approach the doctor first and hope he refers you

[Canopus]

Do you have a diagnoses? is life any better knowing

Are you an adult without a diagnoses but knows?

 

I'm not officially diagnosed with AS, but I know a psychologist who thinks I have AS and he will diagnose me once the diagnostic centre he is setting up opens. I only found out about AS in 2005 at the age of 27. After reading Tony Attwood's book I was convinced that I have AS.

 

What gift do you feel you have?

 

Good point. I have always had a low self esteem and my parents are currently disappointed with me.

 

Is life more diffcult being a adult how do you try and overcome or cope with the diffculties?

 

I don't regard myself as a successful person. I feel that I put a lot of effort into things but get next to nothing in return. In recent years I have started becoming reactionary.

 

Do you wish you were identifed when young?

 

Definitely. Having a recognised condition would have been an advantage even if no support was available from the education system. My parents, teachers, and professionals just couldn't understand me and blamed everything on bad behaviour and low standards.

 

Are you a parent with children also on the specturm?

 

I don't have any kids yet but I have attended a local AS support group. I am amazed at the variety of kids there. They don't all fit into the stereotypical identity such as in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time.

[Noetic]

What gift do you feel you have?

Although it can also be a problem, I learn mostly through echolalia and still tend to learn languages that way, so over a few years I can absorb any language I am immersed in like a second mother tongue (as I have done in English). This includes grammar, which means that once I started reading "grown-up" books as a kid my written grammer quickly went from being twisted and confusing to being nigh-on perfect. (Unfortunately we had theory tests on this as well, and to the utter horror of my teachers I was almost incapable of learning the theory and applying it in tests, e.g. respond to questions about tenses etc. I can either lear something by rote or I can learn to apply it by using it often enough or reading about it, but I cannot apply the terms etc. I learned by heart to what I am doing)

 

This extends to programming languages, which means I can program in any language as long as I have access to samples (the Internet is handy there - I can't learn from books and lessons when it comes to programming, what I need is a ton of examples!). I then copy & paste chunks together to make what I need, and over time the chunks get smaller and smaller until I am fluent in that programming language. I think part of that comes from memory problems, because I cannot consciously access a lot of what I have memorised. My brain goes through phases of soaking up information, processing it unconsciously and then releasing the end product (often in the form of an ongoing internal monologue as if composing posts).

 

I cannot do and know what I am doing at the same time, at least a lot of the time. But I do think my ability and way of learning makes me more flexible than most, because I can start working in a new programming language straight away.

 

Is life more diffcult being a adult how do you try and overcome or cope with the diffculties?

In a way it is because there is so much more to organise and that can go wrong - on the other hand I now have almost complete freedom to adapt my surroundings to my own needs, which you just don't get as a kid and which perhaps it has taken some time to get to know (even with diagnosis, as a kid you often get support OTHERS think you need but that is not necessarily what you might want or need).

Edited February 21, 2007 by Noetic

[bid]

Ooo-er, 'gifts'!!

 

Well, I'm still struggling along the path to a dx (see various other threads! ).

 

My natural talent lies with drawing, but I haven't done anything for 23 years. Both my parents went to art college, and this was what I always intended to do when I was little and then growing up (I didn't play as a child, I just drew or made things).

 

Anyway, I did my O level Art, and got an A grade, but refused to go on and do my A level. The real reason, I can now admit to myself, was because I realised that if I went to art college I would be 'found out'. My art was exceptionally good, but almost entirely derivative. My mind would go completely blank if asked to come up with some kind of original idea...and this is what I thought would be 'found out'...that I have no original creative thought at all, despite the fact that my execution, as it were, is exceptional

 

I believe the reason I stopped drawing, even for myself, when I was 18 was because it coincided with my decision to 'pretend to be normal' as a survival mechanism. I have since spent almost the rest of my adult life pretending to be someone I'm not, and I think that's why I don't draw anymore.

 

I'm also generally very creative, and over the years people have said I should sell various things (and my mum is forever saying I should do interior design! ). But, I simply can't make more than one of anything, as the planning and making is sufficient in itself, why would I want to repeat that over and over again? As for interior design , same thing about imagination applies.

 

So, I know I have a real talent, but as far as using it to earn a living, no way, and I don't even do for myself anymore so I might as well not have it really I know it was a source of secret disappointment to my parents.

 

Bid

Edited February 21, 2007 by bid

[Noetic]

Anyway, I did my O level Art, and got an A grade, but refused to go on and do my A level. The real reason, I can now admit to myself, was because I realised that if I went to art college I would be 'found out'. My art was exceptionally good, but almost entirely derivative. My mind would go completely blank if asked to come up with some kind of original idea...and this is what I thought would be 'found out'...that I have no original creative thought at all, despite the fact that my execution, as it were, is exceptional

Oh boy... that sure rings a bell with me. I was never exceptional, but from an early age I have spent a lot of time drawing (and I too more or less stopped around 16-18, although I did start again briefly because I needed to indulge in an interest but couldn't find words to write about it), but like all my "brilliant" essays, 99% of it is a collage of ideas I have borrowed from elsewhere (often relating to my current interest, or an author whose books I was reading at the time). I would usually just throw a few of these borrowed concepts together at random and that's it!

 

Most of my essays (the funny ones at least, or auto/biographical ones) were written based on Woody Allen's writings for example, and as most of my inspirations were male authors, all of my first-person essays bar one (which I forced myself to write from a female perspective, and there she was just an observer) were written with a male character as the protagonist. I'm amazed nobody sent me to the school shrink for that. Oh, hang on, we don't have those in Switzerland!

 

I am glad they didn't look too closely at the collage and poem I wrote to deal with my godmother's death when I was seventeen though, as my inspiration at the time was Babylon Zoo and 1984 by George Orwell - if you don't know that, the whole thing comes off as rather paranoid and insane!

 

 

I guess this must be similar to how people say they adopt personas - I always thought I never did that but I guess I do... I just tend to adopt their skills or style and try and patch them into my personality rather than viewing it as a separate persona.

Edited February 21, 2007 by Noetic

[Zorro]

Have been researching AS for last 6 months on net after seeing a post on a site on the net that Bill Gates was Autistic. I knew nothing about AS and thought Autistics were supposed to be retarded so was shocked to read that the condition AS is basically a pretty accurate desription of me. taught myself.

 

Im very good at what I do in accounting and have been since I taught myself when I was on a training scheme in a practice when i was 17. I could not understand what people were telling me and was practically mute, but after hearing I was close to getting the sack I got a basic accounting text book and taught myself and after a few months I was a better accountant than my work mates who were all several years older than me at least with several years experience. The technical side of it bores me but at accounts prep Ive always been regarded as the best everywhere Ive worked.Yet im no good at anything else in life.

 

I was always 2nd top of the class (never top) at school in maths but bottom with very bad marks in English Literature. I could never understand the reading between the lines thing about what the author was thinking when he was writing the stuff or what the character was thinking.

 

Special gifts......I see patterns in things, eg behaviour. I have used mind games to outwit people because I can identify very quickly what they are likely to do because of studying similar people showing the same patterns of behaviours, therefore Ive set traps to beat them. I tend to notice minor details.

 

I am very honest, to the point whereby Its like Im on a truth drug. If you ask me something I will tell you the truth in great detail.

 

I pace up and down constantly when Im stressed or waiting for the kettle to boil.

 

I have routines which I get down if I cant stick to the routine.

[hedders]

When i look in the mirror what do i see

a curly hair girl whos smiling at me

I look a bit closer what do i see

sorrowful eyes looking back at me

her body is frozen she cant break free

she sits in the corner or stands on her own

there so many stories that need to be told

she opens her mouth and silence falls

 

When i look in the distance what do i see

a bird in a cage whos looking at me

her eyes are sad she wants to be free

to fly with the others up high in the sky

shes locked in a cage theres no way out

she special and different just see how high

for this is the reason that seperates you and i

 

When i look in the mirror what do i see

A curly hair girl whos smiling at me

I look a bit closer what do i see

only you looking back at me

 

 

Have you ever thought you were here for a reason and what might that reason be?

Edited February 21, 2007 by hedders

[bid]

Well, once a so-called 'friend' said to me that whenever she felt depressed she thought about my life and then she didn't feel hers was so bad!!

 

Maybe that's the reason I'm here

 

bid

[Zorro]

Ive always thought I was here to fight injustice....hence the name Ive taken. I get so angry when imocent people get wronged and hurt.

[Canopus]

My parents just wanted me to be normal and tried everything to make me normal. This is why they were reluctant to make my schools offer special treatment and services because it would cause me to stand out as being different and make a bad situation worse. Only recently have they started to learn about AS. My mother decided that I have AS before she was half way through Tony Attwood's book. My father is still a bit unconvinced probably because certain aspects AS conflicts with his existing knowledge base of psychiatry ingrained into his mind. He has difficulty understanding why somebody of my intellect and an engineering degree has difficulty getting a job. He left school with only a handful of CSEs and has worked continuously since he was 16 and became a homeowner in his mid 20s. My counterargument is that things like finding and holding down employment are more of a street skill than an intellectual skill and people with high intellect are not necessarily good when it comes down to the mundane nitty-gritty issues of adult life.

 

Im very good at what I do in accounting and have been since I taught myself when I was on a training scheme in a practice when i was 17. I could not understand what people were telling me and was practically mute, but after hearing I was close to getting the sack I got a basic accounting text book and taught myself and after a few months I was a better accountant than my work mates who were all several years older than me at least with several years experience. The technical side of it bores me but at accounts prep Ive always been regarded as the best everywhere Ive worked.Yet im no good at anything else in life.

 

One of my talents is self education particularly in factual subjects. I always found that I learnt better from a textbook than classroom learning and was more successful working at my own pace rather than that of the teacher. The result of this is that I struggled badly at school and university but had no problems learning new things at home. I could do algebra and trigonometry when I was 7. I taught myself to program a computer by the age of 10. I was at KS4 level in science in Y7 because I had read the GCSE textbooks. I knew university level electronics when I was 14. Hardly anybody had helped me with these subjects because I knew nobody who could.

 

I was always 2nd top of the class (never top) at school in maths but bottom with very bad marks in English Literature. I could never understand the reading between the lines thing about what the author was thinking when he was writing the stuff or what the character was thinking.

 

I had this problem as well at secondary school. I was very good at factual subjects like maths, physics, and chemistry, but struggled badly with English. I had serious difficulty deciphering obfuscated old literature like Shakespeare. To make matters worse my school opted for an all coursework GCSE with no exam. If there was an exam I could have worked backwards from the exam papers and marking schemes. The headmaster couldn't understand my uneven profile and thought that I wasn't putting sufficient effort into English rather than had difficulty with the subject.

 

I am very honest, to the point whereby Its like Im on a truth drug. If you ask me something I will tell you the truth in great detail.

 

I believe in the truth at any price even if it causes offence in the short term or leads to repercussions. One of my heroes is Galileo.

[smiley]

This is the conversation with my GP at the beginning of last year when i when to him with depression...

 

After nattering for a bit...

GP ; Do you think you see things differently from others?

Me ; Yes, absolutely - always have. I expect i'm on the autistic spectrum or at the very least have enough traits to cause me some bother in certain situations.

GP ; Can you hide it?............

Me ; Yes - Very well. Although that doesn't help me much.....hence one of the reasons why i'm here now.

GP ; Good point, does your sons pediatrician give him any medication to help with it?

Me ; Ermmmmm, just melatonin - Why?

GP ; Oh, ok, i was thinking we could try you on something similar...

Me ; I'd rather not - counselling would be good - is there anyone who could help or maybe diagnose me??

GP ; Oh, i've no idea - anyhow - why do you want a diagnosis - you've said yourself you can hide it quite well............................................and the waiting list for counselling is two years - i'm sure you'll be back on your feet by then................

Me ; Riiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhtttttttttttttttttttttt

 

Funnily enough - i haven't bothered since!

[bikergal]

I will be seeking a private diagnosis at some point. I too learn languages by echolalia and have accents that sound native. I find language easy to acquire and see the patterns in a language, then apply them. Learning text book grammar is not as easy. I am also musical and could probably play any instrument I like after a little bit of familiarisation, I have perfect pitch. I used to have a photographic memory, this was useful whilst doing my A' levels as I did english literature and german literature and whole pages would be displayed before my very eyes. Unfortunately , this 'gift' has since disappeared.

 

I feel very trapped and fear I will not be able to hold down a full time job when that time comes, despite having a degree. I do not interact well with people and usually avoid it. I am rather naive and too trusting, despite being intellligent enough to 'see the wood for the trees'! And yes my interpretation of things tends to be on the literal side, road signs can make me smile because I can't help taking them literally and seeing the picture in my head.

 

All my school reports from middle school up comment on my reticence, muteness, and other things yet not one person lifted a finger to help me. I know As wasn't known about then, but I do feel a little bitter. Maybe that's why I've never given up fighting for my daughter. I would feel better having an official diagnosis, I think it would help piece the jigsaw that is me together and help me understand the way I am.

[Mumble]

Well, once a so-called 'friend' said to me that whenever she felt depressed she thought about my life and then she didn't feel hers was so bad!!

Sorry Bid - that made me laugh - apologies, but it cheered me up.

 

I was always 2nd top of the class (never top) at school in maths but bottom with very bad marks in English Literature. I could never understand the reading between the lines thing about what the author was thinking when he was writing the stuff or what the character was thinking.

I can identify with this - I also had a very uneven profile in my schooling (good at maths, absolutely no understanding of literary criticism). Unfortunatly, as I think is probably the case in many schools and a problem for many children with ASDs, schools can't/won't cope with such uneven profiles. When I changed secondary schools and they saw how awful my English was (couldn't write imaginatively, didn't read between the lines, almost unreadable handwriting - I have dyspraxia as well as AS) I was put in the bottom set for everything including maths and subsequently got very frustrated with the subject that I had always had so much success in.

 

He has difficulty understanding why somebody of my intellect and an engineering degree has difficulty getting a job. ... My counterargument is that things like finding and holding down employment are more of a street skill than an intellectual skill and people with high intellect are not necessarily good when it comes down to the mundane nitty-gritty issues of adult life.

I think that's really well put. I have a very good degree but have found it almost impossible to hold down a job - hence why I'm now back at university. It is as you say all the mundane bits that we're supposed to just 'get' (and for some reason be interested in) and the daily adult interactions, which are, unfortunatly valued over work skills (which is actually where the productivity is) by NTs. I'm supposed to be having a discussion with my tutors about careers at some point soon - do you mind if I use this quote as part of my vain attempt at explaining why the 'simple' isn't 'simple'?

 

All my school reports from middle school up comment on my reticence, muteness, and other things yet not one person lifted a finger to help me.

I have the same - given what I now know about AS, you can hardly read my school reports without coming to that conclusion. In fact they were used as an essential part of my diagnostic interview. I was angry reading them, that nothing had been done when I was a child, but as you say, AS wasn't widely known, and who knows what the outcome would have been if I had been a child with a label - it may have removed the bullying and harassment by teachers on one level, but equally so may have replaced this with a different level of problems based on lack of understanding, and possible fear of the strange girl with the funny labels attached to her (not literally I hasten to add!)

 

road signs can make me smile because I can't help taking them literally and seeing the picture in my head.

My favourite's 'Warning: Heavy Plant Crossing Ahead'!!!! (for me it's a banana tree!!)

 

Having thought about this thread and beginning to get used to my diagnosis, I think I am actually glad I have my diagnosis, simply because I now know, for definite, why things are and have always been difficult. With the fear of having to agree with TheNeil, maybe it is that self-understanding thing ...

 

Above all, for me, it is knowing that I am not mad (I was seriously worried about this) that has made a difference. I got my diagnostic report yesterday - the last line made me laugh:

'The patient does not show any psychotic features'

This is probably a standard line, but given the trouble I've had with psychiatrists who don't understand and want to refer me to mental health, I am very tempted to take this to their offices and dance in front of them with it!!!!!!

[TheNeil]

With the fear of having to agree with TheNeil

Ahem, why? I'm not that deranged...am I? (That said, I didn't have a line in my dx report saying that I wasn't psychotic...bwuhahahaha )

[nannynick]

I do not have a diagnoses and I do not know for sure that I have an ASD, but I don't seem to be like other people, I just don't seem to fit - if you know what I mean.

 

Sorry if I waffle a bit on this, it has taken me about 2 hours from reading parts of this thread to deciding to write a reply. This is not a topic area I have really talked about with anyone before.

 

Recently I have been finding out more about my childhood. At 18 months old, I was admitted to hospital with Febrile Convulsions. From what I have been told by my mother, I was either unconscious or in a coma... and was on a life support machine of some sort. The decision was made to switch that off and let me die. When it was switched off, I then suddenly came out of my unconscious state. Up to the age of 5 I was on medication, not fully sure what medication but I think it was designed to help prevent me having fits. At some point between 5 and 6 years old, my mother decided that I didn't need the medication and stopped giving it. To this date, I have not had a repeat of Febrile Convulsions or any sort of epileptic fit.

 

As a child my mother reports that I was a bad sleeper. I had frequent temper tantrums and was really quite a difficult child. I was often described as being shy and I did not socialise well with others. My writing is not good, but I type great so when home computers came along, I was in my element.

 

These days I am I suppose what you may call a loaner. I do not socialise well with adults and I find it hard to fit into social situations. I relate very well however to young children... it is almost as if I can communicate with them on a different level somehow.

 

Not sure about what Gift I have... perhaps it's my ability to communicate with young children. I work with children on a daily basis, one in particular does have ASD and we get along great!

 

I have started reading the NAS EarlyBird handbook and it is from reading that, plus boards like this one that has made me realise that I may have things in common with those with dx ASD. Even the mother of the child with ASD that I care for spotted that I have similar characteristics/behaviour. But not everything fits, so it is hard for me to tell, but it is a spectrum so I may well fit on the spectrum somewhere.

 

Not sure if I'm better knowing that I am on the spectrum, or if it's better left un dx.

 

Thought of something to add...

A sort of talent I have is that I can hear a tune and then play the melody on a piano, or hum it, or whistle it. I've always been quite musical, though didn't progress further than Grade 4 in musical exams (I played Cello).

 

At the moment, my hearing seems to be on super sensitive... mostly at night. I can hear water flowing through pipes, I hear the fluid flow in the refrigerator to such an extent that it wakes me up. I am almost at a paranoid state about water flooding my flat - I had a pipe burst just over 2 weeks ago - fortunately I was home at the time - and since then I've been far more sensitive to small noises than I was previously. Not sure if this is something that is connected with ASD or not... is it?

Edited February 22, 2007 by nannynick

[Canopus]

I think that's really well put. I have a very good degree but have found it almost impossible to hold down a job - hence why I'm now back at university. It is as you say all the mundane bits that we're supposed to just 'get' (and for some reason be interested in) and the daily adult interactions, which are, unfortunatly valued over work skills (which is actually where the productivity is) by NTs. I'm supposed to be having a discussion with my tutors about careers at some point soon - do you mind if I use this quote as part of my vain attempt at explaining why the 'simple' isn't 'simple'?

 

Feel free to use the quote.

 

I have recently failed a job interview. I contacted the company and they told me that I didn't have enough knowledge of a particular subject because I have never worked in that area of industry before, and the company had chosen somebody else who had better knowledge. A few days after that the recruitment agent contacted me and told me that I failed because of of communication issues and a perceived lack of confidence in the interview, and talking in an abrupt way. The interviewers were also a bit unconvinced that I could survive the office politics, and the smalltalk although technically I was of a high standard. The position hasn't been filled and the agent was a bit baffled as he thinks my communication is fine with him.

[Shnoing]

Do you have a diagnoses? is life any better knowing

Are you an adult without a diagnoses but knows?

I'm self-dx'ed. That's enough for the moment. Partnership is somehow better knowing.

What gift do you feel you have?

I'm told that I can listen very well. Even if the story is really weird.

Is life more diffcult being a adult how do you try and overcome or cope with the diffculties?

Much better than adolescence!

Do you wish you were identifed when young?

I haven't got enough Theory of Mind to be able to answer .

Are you a parent with children also on the specturm?

Yeah .

[bid]

Spoke to Cambridge today, and they have received my completed referral pack and I'm now on the waiting list to have a clinic date allocated for an assessment!