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oxgirl

Another ASD student tormenting Jay.

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Thanks so much hev and Bambi, your support means such a lot. >:D<<'>

I am having such a terrible day. I have been storming round the house screaming and shouting at the top of my lungs with sheer frustration at the situation and my lack of ability to make it end. I was up until three in the morning last night, working myself up into such a state, gouging, punching and biting myself and digging my nails into myself out of pure frustration and anger at the injustice of it.

 

He is in for a full day today and I'm sitting here on my own fretting and eating myself up inside about it and worrying myself literally sick. :tearful: I'll probably pick him up and he'll have had a good day and have been absolutely fine, but it's the lack of power over the situation that is just doing me in, I can't cope much longer with it. :crying:

 

~ Mel ~

Edited by oxgirl

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>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> Mel I just wanted to let you know people are here and thinking of you.Remember it is not your fault -you are doing the best you can.Karen.

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>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> Mel I just wanted to let you know people are here and thinking of you.Remember it is not your fault -you are doing the best you can.Karen.

 

 

Thanks Karen. :tearful:>:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

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Im so sorry Mel is there anything you can do to distract yourself until he comes home? It alful just waiting for them to get in dreading what will have happened that day.

>:D<<'> >:D<<'> I hope he has been ok.

Brooke

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Im so sorry Mel is there anything you can do to distract yourself until he comes home? It alful just waiting for them to get in dreading what will have happened that day.

>:D<<'> >:D<<'> I hope he has been ok.

Brooke

 

 

Thanks so much Brooke. I've had a terrible day, I've been sick with worry and wound myself up into a frenzy about it all. I've just picked him up and he's had a good day! :thumbs:

 

This lad apparently likes Lego and so they were encouraged to sit together and talk about Lego and, when Jay went into the canteen to eat his lunch, they encouraged this lad to go with him and they sat with two other boys from the Unit. I'm so proud of Jay!! :wub: He is still wary and frightened of this lad, but he was able to let him come and sit with him and talk to him. He didn't really want him to come to the canteen, but he didn't reject him, which would have made matters worse, I think. Later Jay and this lad played with some trains and had fun together and I'm really pleased and think this is the right way to go. :thumbs:

 

I've tried to explain to Jay that if he encourages this lad's nice behaviour and shows him that he'd like to be his friend as long as he is nice, then it will be best for him. He says he doesn't feel like forgiving him, but he can understand what I'm trying to say to him and he's willing to give him a chance. :wub:

 

I'm so relieved, I feel like crying, I just hope they keep it up. :tearful::pray:

 

~ Mel ~

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Im so pleased for you :thumbs:

My lads come home and been attacked again :wallbash: Ive been straight on the phone its really upsetting me now its as if they just dont care they just blame it on him :crying:

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aww, thats great news mel, a step in the right direction.

 

J is much more "forgiving" than me, I think it comes with maturity. My lip still curls when I hear news of those who made his life a misery, J said to me not long ago, mum, it was a long time ago, I've forgiven them. I stand in awe.

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Im so pleased for you :thumbs:

My lads come home and been attacked again :wallbash: Ive been straight on the phone its really upsetting me now its as if they just dont care they just blame it on him :crying:

 

 

Oh Brooke, so sorry. :tearful: That's exactly how I feel, it's so frustrating, isn't it. :wallbash:>:D<<'>

I hope they take it seriously and work to resolve it. Take care. >:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

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aww, thats great news mel, a step in the right direction.

 

J is much more "forgiving" than me, I think it comes with maturity. My lip still curls when I hear news of those who made his life a misery, J said to me not long ago, mum, it was a long time ago, I've forgiven them. I stand in awe.

 

 

Thanks pearl, I know how you feel.

I feel so furious still, I can't seem to let the anger go. It's so unfair how he's been treated by the staff, just telling him to ignore it and telling him HE should be more understanding and somehow inferring that it's just dislike that's mutual rather than Jay being the one frightened and attacked and him reacting to it. I was literally shaking with fury for much of the day, but now I have nowhere for it to go. They wrote in his home/school book that 'Jay got on well with D today', as if he is somehow equally responsible for D not attacking him!! I suppose I should feel glad that they are FINALLY doing something but I just feel bitter and let down and I feel like screaming at someone. :tearful::wallbash:

 

~ Mel ~

Edited by oxgirl

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Thanks pearl, I know how you feel.

I feel so furious still, I can't seem to let the anger go. It's so unfair how he's been treated by the staff, just telling him to ignore it and telling him HE should be more understanding and somehow inferring that it's just dislike that's mutual rather than Jay being the one frightened and attacked and him reacting to it. I was literally shaking with fury for much of the day, but now I have nowhere for it to go. I suppose I should feel glad that they are FINALLY doing something but I just feel bitter and let down. :tearful::wallbash:

 

~ Mel ~

Its harder for us to forgive because we are the parents, mel. We are like tigers protecting our young. J was once targeted by a young psychopath at school. He forced J to assault a girl otherwise he would beat him up. The girl was "in" on it & then said she would report J for sexual harrassment.

 

J then stayed off sick from school with the stress. When I found out what had happened, the SENCO said she had 30 odd SEN kids on her list & couldnt keep tabs on them all! A letter of complaint went straight to the head & the chair of governors, the head saw us & wouldnt let us speak for 20 mins while he refuted my complaints one by one.

 

When I spoke to J about it, I said, its that boy that should have been off school not you, it wasnt your fault. He just said, does this mean I will never get a job? Well as of this last week we can safely say NO to that!

 

We still see this boy, & to this day I want to rip his head off.

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We still see this boy, & to this day I want to rip his head off.

 

 

Yes, it's like a fury that wells up inside, isn't it. I dream about screaming and shouting at the staff at the Unit and really letting them have it, I know I'd feel so much better if I did! :ph34r:

 

~ Mel ~

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Mel you should be so proud of your son. He has taken control of this situation by allowing the other child into his personal space. More than that he has made a start on making a possible friendship with him. Its very early days admittedly but it does sound like some progress is being made, at last! Your feelings of anger and frustration at the way this whole thing are more than justified, imo. The school could have done this long before now and I have to question why they failed to do so. In your position I would be keeping my options about a possible complaint over this firmly open...and making sure the school were aware of this too.

 

I hope that this is the beginning of the end the nightmare for you all and that things get better for you all from here on in.

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