Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Kris

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
oxgirl

Another ASD student tormenting Jay.

Recommended Posts

oxgirl   

Thanks so much hev and Bambi, your support means such a lot. >:D<<'>

I am having such a terrible day. I have been storming round the house screaming and shouting at the top of my lungs with sheer frustration at the situation and my lack of ability to make it end. I was up until three in the morning last night, working myself up into such a state, gouging, punching and biting myself and digging my nails into myself out of pure frustration and anger at the injustice of it.

 

He is in for a full day today and I'm sitting here on my own fretting and eating myself up inside about it and worrying myself literally sick. :tearful: I'll probably pick him up and he'll have had a good day and have been absolutely fine, but it's the lack of power over the situation that is just doing me in, I can't cope much longer with it. :crying:

 

~ Mel ~

Edited by oxgirl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Karen A   
>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> Mel I just wanted to let you know people are here and thinking of you.Remember it is not your fault -you are doing the best you can.Karen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
oxgirl   
>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> Mel I just wanted to let you know people are here and thinking of you.Remember it is not your fault -you are doing the best you can.Karen.

 

 

Thanks Karen. :tearful:>:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
brooke   

Im so sorry Mel is there anything you can do to distract yourself until he comes home? It alful just waiting for them to get in dreading what will have happened that day.

>:D<<'> >:D<<'> I hope he has been ok.

Brooke

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
oxgirl   
Im so sorry Mel is there anything you can do to distract yourself until he comes home? It alful just waiting for them to get in dreading what will have happened that day.

>:D<<'> >:D<<'> I hope he has been ok.

Brooke

 

 

Thanks so much Brooke. I've had a terrible day, I've been sick with worry and wound myself up into a frenzy about it all. I've just picked him up and he's had a good day! :thumbs:

 

This lad apparently likes Lego and so they were encouraged to sit together and talk about Lego and, when Jay went into the canteen to eat his lunch, they encouraged this lad to go with him and they sat with two other boys from the Unit. I'm so proud of Jay!! :wub: He is still wary and frightened of this lad, but he was able to let him come and sit with him and talk to him. He didn't really want him to come to the canteen, but he didn't reject him, which would have made matters worse, I think. Later Jay and this lad played with some trains and had fun together and I'm really pleased and think this is the right way to go. :thumbs:

 

I've tried to explain to Jay that if he encourages this lad's nice behaviour and shows him that he'd like to be his friend as long as he is nice, then it will be best for him. He says he doesn't feel like forgiving him, but he can understand what I'm trying to say to him and he's willing to give him a chance. :wub:

 

I'm so relieved, I feel like crying, I just hope they keep it up. :tearful::pray:

 

~ Mel ~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
brooke   

Im so pleased for you :thumbs:

My lads come home and been attacked again :wallbash: Ive been straight on the phone its really upsetting me now its as if they just dont care they just blame it on him :crying:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
pearl   

aww, thats great news mel, a step in the right direction.

 

J is much more "forgiving" than me, I think it comes with maturity. My lip still curls when I hear news of those who made his life a misery, J said to me not long ago, mum, it was a long time ago, I've forgiven them. I stand in awe.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
oxgirl   
Im so pleased for you :thumbs:

My lads come home and been attacked again :wallbash: Ive been straight on the phone its really upsetting me now its as if they just dont care they just blame it on him :crying:

 

 

Oh Brooke, so sorry. :tearful: That's exactly how I feel, it's so frustrating, isn't it. :wallbash:>:D<<'>

I hope they take it seriously and work to resolve it. Take care. >:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
oxgirl   
aww, thats great news mel, a step in the right direction.

 

J is much more "forgiving" than me, I think it comes with maturity. My lip still curls when I hear news of those who made his life a misery, J said to me not long ago, mum, it was a long time ago, I've forgiven them. I stand in awe.

 

 

Thanks pearl, I know how you feel.

I feel so furious still, I can't seem to let the anger go. It's so unfair how he's been treated by the staff, just telling him to ignore it and telling him HE should be more understanding and somehow inferring that it's just dislike that's mutual rather than Jay being the one frightened and attacked and him reacting to it. I was literally shaking with fury for much of the day, but now I have nowhere for it to go. They wrote in his home/school book that 'Jay got on well with D today', as if he is somehow equally responsible for D not attacking him!! I suppose I should feel glad that they are FINALLY doing something but I just feel bitter and let down and I feel like screaming at someone. :tearful::wallbash:

 

~ Mel ~

Edited by oxgirl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
pearl   
Thanks pearl, I know how you feel.

I feel so furious still, I can't seem to let the anger go. It's so unfair how he's been treated by the staff, just telling him to ignore it and telling him HE should be more understanding and somehow inferring that it's just dislike that's mutual rather than Jay being the one frightened and attacked and him reacting to it. I was literally shaking with fury for much of the day, but now I have nowhere for it to go. I suppose I should feel glad that they are FINALLY doing something but I just feel bitter and let down. :tearful::wallbash:

 

~ Mel ~

Its harder for us to forgive because we are the parents, mel. We are like tigers protecting our young. J was once targeted by a young psychopath at school. He forced J to assault a girl otherwise he would beat him up. The girl was "in" on it & then said she would report J for sexual harrassment.

 

J then stayed off sick from school with the stress. When I found out what had happened, the SENCO said she had 30 odd SEN kids on her list & couldnt keep tabs on them all! A letter of complaint went straight to the head & the chair of governors, the head saw us & wouldnt let us speak for 20 mins while he refuted my complaints one by one.

 

When I spoke to J about it, I said, its that boy that should have been off school not you, it wasnt your fault. He just said, does this mean I will never get a job? Well as of this last week we can safely say NO to that!

 

We still see this boy, & to this day I want to rip his head off.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
oxgirl   
We still see this boy, & to this day I want to rip his head off.

 

 

Yes, it's like a fury that wells up inside, isn't it. I dream about screaming and shouting at the staff at the Unit and really letting them have it, I know I'd feel so much better if I did! :ph34r:

 

~ Mel ~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
phasmid   

Mel you should be so proud of your son. He has taken control of this situation by allowing the other child into his personal space. More than that he has made a start on making a possible friendship with him. Its very early days admittedly but it does sound like some progress is being made, at last! Your feelings of anger and frustration at the way this whole thing are more than justified, imo. The school could have done this long before now and I have to question why they failed to do so. In your position I would be keeping my options about a possible complaint over this firmly open...and making sure the school were aware of this too.

 

I hope that this is the beginning of the end the nightmare for you all and that things get better for you all from here on in.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×