School problems

[kerrybobs]

Hiya,

 

Today I got in touch with Robyn's senco (aged 9, As). Yet another brushing under the carpet.

 

Apperently Robyn was on the agenda in a meeting for kids with sen's.They have decided that because Robyn does not present any Aspergers traits in school (bearing in mind she has only taught 1, other child with this), she feels it is a home issue, also her dyslexia is their main concern.

 

She has backtracked on everything she has advised me in the past about Robyn's behaviour. As far as she is concerned she is a loving, affectionate child who wants to be friends with the world(her words).

 

Also, she advised me that it is highly unlikely that Robyn will get a statement because as she has come on in leaps and bounds since getting extra help and she seems to be more confident.

 

Robyn has been getting extra help from the learning mentor for self-esteem,confidence and concentration, so maybe that is the reason for her increased confidence. She is also taking melatonin so she is not so tired in the mornings now and does not seem as angry.(dont get me wrong this is only a slight improvement).

 

All I want to know, is that Robyn will get the school's support. So we have an appointment 2nd Feb so I will ask her consultant if he will contact her.

 

I did not realise it was going to be so difficult

 

Also does anyone find the G.P. does not have a clue about aspergers? I have seen 3 doctors from my surgery and only 1 knew anything (he spoke to me like he was reading out of a text book) and still could not give me any advice. The other one said It was not genetic but did'nt know how the child developed Aspergers.

 

All I can say is Thank god for this site, I dont know what I would have done without all your advice.

 

Kerry

[Kathryn]

Kerrybobs,

 

This must be very frustrating for you. Don't give up. <'> Sometimes you just have to keep on and on until they listen, but it's not easy. It will be good if your consultant can support you in putting pressure on the school - good luck. Apologies if you've been told this already, but you can request a statutory assessment yourself, as a parent, you don't have to wait for the school to act.

 

You know your child best - she might be coping at school now, but will she hold it together when she gets to secondary school with its much more demanding environment? That time will be upon you sooner than you think, but if you start now, you have a good chance of getting her needs formally recognised and support in place before she gets to that stage.

 

As for GP's, I think ignorance is still the norm, alas. The NAS website has information especially for GP's about AS, you could print this off an give it to yours. Sometimes we have to educate the professionals. Our GP knew nothing either, but we were lucky, she was willing to learn.

 

Keep going, you're doing a great job already in fighting for your daughter,

 

K

[mossgrove]

Kerry

 

I completely understand your frustrations!

 

One of the commonest and most frustrating problems can be getting the school to understand that, just because the child is not actively disruptive, it does NOT mean that they are coping.

 

Out eldest (7) was extremely disruptive from day 1 and, to be fair, support has been forthcoming.

 

Our second son (5, also onthe spectrum) withdraws into himself at school then melts down on his return. These meltdowns do not happen when he does not go to school, nor do we have half an hour of tantrums inthe morning when it is not a school day. Common sense would say that school is having this effect. His teacher cheefully informs us that it is 'an issue for the parents and not the school'.

 

It is especialy important that you keep a record of behaviour outside of the school environment as well, as it sounds likethe school are not going to be very supportive.

 

Good luck!

 

Simon

[nellie]

Kerry,

 

I do sympathise, my son, now 26, pretended to cope at school for 18 years, he didn't show his true colours until his last year.

 

Not sure if you have seen this topic before, have a look, you will soon realise you are not alone. There is also documented evidence on this topic which you could show the school. It has helped some parents, but sadly not all.

 

The passive child/pretending to be normal., Meeting the needs of the passive child.

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...st=0entry1444

 

Good luck

 

Nellie xx

[Kathryn]

Nellie,

 

How did your son get through public exams? . I have the utmost admiration for him.

 

K

[tess]

Kerry

I totally understand my school is the same, but you have to keep fighting cos you do know your son the best.

 

I printed off the links that nellie put up on the passive child pretending to be normal and i gave it to the teachers and the head of education along with a very detailed letter.

 

I am not saying things have dramatically changed but they do not ignore me as much, and seem more willing to listen.

 

one thing to remember is that you are doing a fab job and you should be proud of yourself

 

Take care

Tessx

[Suze]

Hi Kerrybobs is Robyn statemented? It was interesting to read your post as Jack is a lso Dyslexic.We find school such a struggle.Jack was statemented last year initially the lea offered just 5hrs funding for help in the playground but we went mad and managed to get 12hrs.He now has a learning support lady for literacy and maths,and specialist help with reading and writing.The AS , dyslexia and dyspraxia makes for an interesting package!

[nellie]

Kathryn

 

I have just noticed your posting with this question.

 

How did your son get through public exams?  . I have the utmost admiration for him

 

My son had moderate learning difficulties and didn't sit any exams.

 

Nellie xx

[kerrybobs]

Hiya Suze,

 

No Robyn has not got a statement she is on action plus. They have said coz she has come on in her school work it is highly unlikely she will get one. They also say she does not show any as traits!!!!

 

You are so lucky to get so much time allocated to your son. Robyn gets 1 hr p.w. from a teacher from a special school. She also gets 1 hr p.w. with the learning mentor. There is a classroom assistant who has been with Robyn since reception so she helps Robyn out in class.

 

Robyn is now in year 5 and I have been worried for when she goes into year 6 and has to sit her sats. They have said they will give her longer. I feel she will find this extremely difficult as she can barely read and if she is able to read it she does not understand what she has just read.

 

How did you get a statement???

 

Kerry

[Suze]

Hi Kerrybobs, bit of a long story but here goes.Jack was diagnosed at 6 dyslexic, the school were concerned and because there was a twelve month wait for the ed physc we had the diagnosis done privately.We were given a big report that said he had a very high IQ and should have been in the top 10%, but instead was in the bottom 5%.(this descrepancy proved very useful in proving to the LEA he needed a statement).We were adviced by the private EDphysc we had seen to get his eyes and hearing checked.These again had to be paid for privately, the eye test swere done by a practitioner recommended by the ED physc, we discovered he needed glasses and also coloured overlays(some kids use the Irlen lenses).The optician recommended a specialist audiologist who did lots of tests, (she was also a special needs teacher so she new her stuff), she found he did,nt process auditory sequences properly,retained infant reflexes,short term memory problems,Dyspraxia.By this time he,d moved onto school action plus at school, his confidence was at an all time low and he was,nt attempting any work at all, would,nt even write his name. Because of the DYSPRAXIA we saw a Peadiatrition who referred us to an Occupational Therapist, by this time a year had passed and he was in a class with a dreadful Teacher who did,nt think there was such a thing as SEN.We had a meeting with the Head and she told us THE SCHOOL had referred him to CAMHS.At this point we said ENOUGH, and asked about a Statement the Head said you don,t stand a chance,so I got some advice from the parent partnership who were very good and started reading the SEN CODE OF PRACTICE.Jack then saw the O.T. during school time she saw him having a bad day, by this time he made no eye contact, and refused to participate in school life at all, she realised there was the possibility of AS.We decieded that as we were getting nowhere with the school we would request the LEA do an assessment of SEN with a view to a statement, luckily they agreed to assess . During the assessment process Jack saw CAMHS who diagnosed AS, and the O.T. diagnosed Dyspraxia, we gave the LEA all the reports we had from every single person who had seen Jack and we built a pretty damning picture of a boy who really couldnt cope at school and needed extra funding to help him gain an Education.The first Statement was 5 hrs funding which we rejected, and eventually they agreed to 12 hrs.He is doing much better now and is also in year 5.You mentioned Sats, Jack has it read to him and his LS writes the answers, he also gets extra time and can spread the tests over a number of days.I could tell you loads more but I think I,ve waffled enough, don,t give up on the Statement, and I,d be glad to help if you need any advice.Suze.

[lisa]

Kerrybobs,

 

I agree with Suze. I think it's important to have an Ed Psych do an intelligence test because this can prove that your child is underachieving. I'm sure that the only reason my son got his statement was not because of his Asperger's needs but because he was in bottom groups and we had proof that IQ was in the top 1% of the population. The LEA would find it really difficult at tribunal to justify not giving a statement to a child with this kind of discrepancy.

 

I was quite tempted to go for a statement for my eldest daughter as she was assessed to be in the top 10%, she has dyscalculia and dyspraxia (v. mild though) and although she's in bottom of the top group for literacy, she's in bottom group and struggling with her maths. So there is proof that she's underachieving. The Ed Psych also feels she has a possible speech and language disorder that needs investigating but she is very definite that she doesn't want any 1:1 help. To me, she has lots of friends, she hates any kind of fuss, I'm positive that she's not AS, she's doing ok academically (apart from maths!) and she's happy. So for the moment we're not going ask for a SALT referral. At least we have the evidence if the situation changes.

 

Lisa

[kerrybobs]

Hiya

 

It is so frustrating at the moment because of our senco (who is deputy head) she said that due to me requesting to see the ed physocologist and not them , she said I will have to wait, she will add her to the list for next term but advised me Robyn is not guarenteed to see them as the school already owes them hours.

 

I could relly kick myself, when Robyn was in the reception I went into her class to help out for a few weeks. When I sat with Robyn whilst she was writing I noticed that when she spelt 'and' she actually wrote it starting with the d-n-a but when you read it, it was and I mentioned this to her teacher she said she was intelligent and was playing with the words.

 

Her behaviour has always been a bit off the wall.

 

I got a letter to go in and see the school nurse when Robyn was 7. She thought Robyn needed glasses as she had failed the eye test. As her sister had been through this and wore glasses for 4 years and finding out she had never needed them in the 1st place. I thought were not going through this again. SO I went in and advised the nurse that she could not read, she said yes but she is 7 she must know the alphabet. I told her no, I then went on to tell her my concerns about her behaviour. She said she did not feel this was appropriate behaviour for a 7 yr old and got me an appointment to see Ed physcologist.

 

When my partner found out he went balistic saying there was nothing the matter with her, he said I was making mountains out of molehills. He put me on a guilt trip and I cancelled the appointment (stupid I know).

 

I then was getting quite worried as she still could not read even toddlers books. She has a very short attention span so I put it down to she will read when she is ready. I had mentioned my worries to each teacher that she had and was told not to worry she was doing fine.

 

We got her report through from her year 4 teacher and we were delighted with it. We went in to see the teacher and he said he had been worried about Robyns progress for a while (nothing was said in the report) I should add. There was a teacher from the local special needs school waiting to speak to us she advised us that this was the fourth time that she had tested Robyn (all without my knowledge)

 

She said Robyn had been borderline on the 3 previous occasions but now the curriculam had changed she was finding it hard to cope. She said she had the reading age of a 6 yr old. She said Robyn was extremelly intelligent as she had managed to bluff her way to this stage. (she didnt bluff me).

 

Thats when she was diagnosed with dyslexia.

 

Robyns behaviour was still up the wall at home.

 

I had been suffering with depression and had been to the school on several occasions they advised that Robyn was really good just a bit immature and went on to tell me it must be something at home. (making me feel worse). I had been to my GP a few times as well and they put it down to phases. I finally went to see GP about myself and broke down I told her a few things about Robyn and she advised she didnt feel it was right so she reffered Robyn to Alder hey.

 

I thought we were going to be told she had ADD then he told me aspergers. He said mild autism, adhd and damp (not much of this is mentioned). I was numb as I hadnt a clue what aspergers was and when you hear autism you fear the worst.

 

Because I have gone about this externally (thru the doctor) The school is being very awkward. As I said before because she has come on with her school work they dont feel she will get a statement. Also they wont back up the diagnosis, as she does not present any traits in school totally back tracking what she has told me previously about Robyns behaviour.

 

At this moment in time my head is everywhere. I feel alone, unprepared, unsupported and helpless I feel I havent got the knowledge to help my daughter.

 

It is encouraging to read other peoples experiences.

 

I am now being pressured by my parents to take Robyn out of the school but I am afraid of jumping from the frying pan and into the fire. I dont want Robyn being dissrupted, taking her away from all that she knows. I have decided when I see the consultant on the 2nd I will just have to wait and see what he says and see if he will get in touch with the school. If by easter there is still no support for Robyn then I will consider looking at other schools

 

Any replies regarding this would be really appreciated.

 

Kerry

[bid]

My son is older and at a Special School, so I'm afraid I can't really give you any advice, just lots of <'> <'> <'>

 

I'm so sorry you are feeling so down and that everything is such a battle.

 

There is sure to be someone along soon who will be more help

 

Take care,

 

Bid

[kerrybobs]

Hiya Bid,

 

I hope so too. Thanks for your kind words

 

Kerry

[nellie]

Kerry,

 

Have you contacted Parent Partnership?

 

Nellie xx

[Suze]

Hi, Kerry, you must arm yourself with as much ammunition as possible, talking to the parent partnership is an excellent idea they are there to help parents like us.R equest a copy of the sen code of practice, full of info on your childs legal rights and all the stages of , school action , school action plus, and statementing.We asked Jack,s school when he was 6 to let the ed physc see him we were told they,d used all their hours and had to wait 12mnths, this was the reason we saw an ed physc privately through the Dyslexia institute. It is most important to ascertain your daughters IQ on the weschler scale as by doing this you can prove to the LEA THAT SHE IS NOT OBTAINING HER TRUE POTENTIAL.Jacks assessment is over 5 pages long and it was full of info that we could use to get his statement.We also managed to find some very sympathetic he a lth proffessionals who pressured the LEA, maybe your consultant could helpThe Dyslexia institute, www.dyslexia-inst.org.uk. TEL 0845 60 222 60 , for the sen toolkit. Ahuge file but full of info. Also if you are unhappy with how the school are handling your daughters sen you can go direct to the LEA,and request that they assess her if they agree it means she must be seen by a ed physc within 6 weeks.Also which area are you in Kerry? Must go now but don,t lose heart I got really depressed and I know how hard it is when no one will listen. Suze.

[Suze]

Hi again Kerry, just read your last posting again and realised how down you sound, you mentioned alder hey, you might live close to me and I might be able to give you some phone numbers of people who helped us.When did you receive Robyns diagnosis ?The lea were reluctant to give Jack a statement just for the AS, which is why we had to show them all the other problems he had, ie auditory, visual, sensory,and also the developmental delay.I found I had to become an expert in all his problems, dyslexia, dyspraxia and AS.I read so many books from the Library,but because I knew so much I was able to let the LEA know just how bad things were.Believe me if it,s not staring them in the face they just won,t see it,this became completely appparent when we met the LEA,s ED physc.Who was looking for reasons why he should,nt have a statement instead of looking for the reasons why he should.Keep in touch ,Suze.

[kerrybobs]

Hiya Suze. I live in Kirkby where do you live? Robyn was diagnosed in November

I got some leaflets through this morning from the Knowsley Parent Partnership I have tried ringing but it is an answer machine. I got in touch with the education office to see if I could get a taxi for Robyn but because her school is more than 2 miles away and there are schools close to our house that Robyn could go to, they said she was not entitled as I was sending her to a school of my choice. Also she needs a statement. The reason Robyn is in this school is because it was by were we used to live. It is a lovely school. I was going to change her when we moved but I visited the schools by our new house and was convinced it wouldnt be the right environment for Robyn so I kept her were she was. I have to pay for a taxi for her to get to school and her sister has to leave her school in another part of Kirkby to go and pick Robyn up. Robyn is just not capable of making her own way home she would either panic, go off with someone or end up somewhere else. I work funny shifts and dont drive so it is awkward for me to take her.

 

I know what you mean about arming yourself with all the information you can gather. I did this when we were told she had dyslexia. But this Aspergers is making my brain turn to fuzz, because it is so complex. Because I feel Im not getting much support from the (professionals) I did not realise it was going to be such a battle. I get the impression from the school that I am wishing As on my child. As I told the senco if she is right about Robyn not having As then I will be the happiest person in the world.The consultant has a son with aspergers so he knows what he is talking about, seeing the traits at home as well as in his profession.

 

Thanks for replying to me

 

Kerry