Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Kris

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
Kris

Introductions!!

Where are you based?  

625 members have voted

  1. 1. Where are you based?

    • England
      493
    • Scotland
      69
    • Wales
      24
    • Europe (non UK)
      18
    • Other
      21


Recommended Posts

vjmac   

Hi everyone

 

My computer has been playing up and so I haven't been able to respond to any of your messages until now.

 

Pat, it's so nice to know that there is someone close by who is going through the same. I live in Inverclyde and while there is a local support group for ASD I haven't yet attended. Do you attend any meetings? If so, what are they like?

 

Elefan, thanks for introducing yourself. It's nice to feel welcomed as opposed to people thinking 'Oh no, not that irate mother again!'

 

And to Laura - this site has been great for me and I only started using it a couple of weeks ago. I'm sure you will get a lot from it.

 

Take care.

Vicki

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen   

Hello, my name is Helen and I am new to the site. I have a son named Daniel who has AS. Daniel is nearly twelve years old, he was diagnosed last March and the L.E.A. has since decided to statement him - although I'm at the point now where I've just rejected his '3rd final statement' and am on track for the Tribunal.

 

Our problems began four years ago, when his headteacher didn't inform us of Daniel being on the SEN register - I found out accidentally. We always felt that there was cause for concern, but were told, 'don't worry, he's a boy, he's a little lazy that's all' etc, etc. We have a fourteen year old daughter who is a high achiever and were told not to compare the both. As the headteacher was extremely awkward and unco-opperative by not providing support of any kind whatsoever, we had to remove our son from the school. When he left the school he couldn't read. The headteacher of his second primary school immediately placed him on the SEN register at stage 3 enhanced (stage 4 in some areas of the country) by which he had 2 and a half hours a week with a support teacher and also one hour a week with a specialised SEN teacher. The staff in his new school couldn't do enough for him. I gave up my job as a learning support assistant (working with SEN children) to concentrate on Daniel. In his new primary school he went from strength to strength. Last July he achieved three level fours in his SATs. At the moment, he is in set 2 for everything, but he is determined to get into set 1.

 

I would like to contribute to this site, as much as I am able to do so, as I realise how desperate parents/carers/friends can be, for seeking information.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lynx   

hello everybody, my name is Lynn and I have an 11 year old son with AS.

 

Is there anyone in the Wokingham/Reading area with a child of similar age who is transferring to secondary school this year??? I'd very much like to hear from anyone who has been through the statementing process for transition!!! :o

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
fudgy   

hi my name is chevair and i have 4 children. My eldest is 11 and been diagnosed with aspergers syndrome ocd and acute anxiety. I always knew she was special but after having three children when she was six i then realised her way was different from the way the others behaved. I have sent her to a private school in a hope that she would prefer the smaller classes etc but this has not been the case.

I now can not even get her into school as she has major tantrums which start the evening before and until i tell hernot to worry we will leave school for another day then she is more relaxed. Is anyone else experiencing these problems and how do you cope with them. Do i make her go which then leads to her accusing me of not understanding her and she feels like an alien or do i just allow her even more time off school. She is very intelligent but has absolutemeltdown at the mention of school.

Hope there is a bit of help out there as i dont know which way to turn these days.

 

thanks

chevair

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Elefan   

Welcome Chevair!

 

Glad you found the site. Sorry to hear of your dilemma at the moment. Have a look at our Education folder where there are a couple of topics relating to meltdowns because of school!! Hope you can find something helpful! :)

 

Elefan

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Trish   

Hi.

My name is Trish and I have a 13 yr old son Tom who has aspergers.

We are waiting to see if the local LEA have awarded his school funding to enable him to have much needed support to get him through the vital GCSE yrs.

It was a fight to get him diagnosed and it continues to be a fight to ensure he gets what he deserves.

I am scared for his future, yet delight in his "differentness"

Thanks to Eleanor for pointing me to this web site, I look forward to sharing the highs and lows of being an "Aspy" parent with you all. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi trish

 

welcome to the site

my name is tracey and my AS son is also 13 and we also had the fight for diagnosis and are still haveing to fight over his education although we have our statement

 

hope you enjoy the site (we all do)

 

tracey xx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kt-one   

Hi I am Kate, I found this site this morning and already posted my first desperate plea for help! I am a single parent with 3 daughters, 17, 15 & 13 and have been on my own with them for 13 years. I always knew Freya was more of a challenge than her older sisters (and they have had their moments!) Whenever I have suggested to teachers or doctors that it may be a little more involved than lack of discipline or attention seeking, I have been accused of attention seeking myself!

I first heard of AS about 2 years ago, but could not find any information that really helped. This site is a godsend. After Freya won a scholarship to an independent school I was hopeful that the structured academic life would help her, but recently her work has slipped. Although she is not finding it difficult she just seems generally muddled.

To read so many postings that could be describing my daughter feels such a relief. I am not crazy after all!

Thank you for providing this opportunity for support, help, guidance, advice and just a place to scream the frustrations out when no help is given by the people who should be providing it.

Kate

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Elefan   

Hi Kate!!

 

I can relate to where you are just now. Finding information that finally puts the pieces of the jigsaw altogether. Thats how I felt when I was desperately trying to find out why my little girl was the way she is. I came across Aspergers, and so many pieces fitted. I should add, that her diagnosis is ASD, rather than Aspergers now though. It is a spectrum, and no two children on it will be the same.

 

Very best wishes to you and your girls. I hope the forum can provide help and support. More importantly, I hope you get the referal you need. Gather as much evidence as you can (photo's, school reports, family/friends testiments, etc) like Helen says. Leave it with your GP or anyone who could be influential (school, SENCO, etc), then chase them for the help/referrals you need....without mercy!! :D

 

Elefan

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nikki   

Hi my name is Nikki & we live in Brittany in France!

I picked up on this site from raising kids and I think its fantastic.

We moved here just about 2 years ago from Jersey as we were fed up with no one being able to give us any help with our son.

Samuel is 4 now & is just undergoing various meetings at a specialist school where he can start in september. They beleive ( as we always have ) that he has problems - he has never spoken and at last someone will help us to make his life better.

Its hard being alone in another country where sometimes language can be a barrier and I have plenty of questions that I will probably ask you all over the coming weeks ! I hope this is ok!

I will let you know how the medical profession seeks to help him here compared to ideas where you all are and maybe I can get some ideas to make life easier.

I look forward to chatting to you all

Nikki

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kris   

Hi Nikki,

 

Welcome to the forum.

 

Of course it is OK to ask questions, however many you've got. Its what are forum is all about.

 

There are loads of people here with a wealth of experience and experiences who are only too willing to share. So, ask away and dont be shy!! ;)

 

Let us know how you get on getting help for Samuel. We'd be interested to know how the French system differs from our own.

 

Take care,

 

Kris

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi nikki

 

glad you found the site it was me who posted you the link

 

i have 5 kids including 1 with aspergers syndrome and 1 whos just been diagnosed with dyspraxia

 

anything you want to know just ask away theres usually someone on here who can help

 

hope to hear from you soon

 

tracey xxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everyone. I found this link through RK. I actually want to post with regard to my nephew is that ok? He was diagnosed a couple of months ago with aspergers and my sister is finding it increasingly hard to cope. He was diagnosed a few months after birth as having CP which is why it wasnt realised until recently that he had aspergers.

 

Anyway I am off to read more and post more on here. Nice to meet you all.

 

Raven xx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi ravensfire

 

welcome to the site

 

how old is your nephew and what kind off help is your sister getting

if you let us know what you or your sister need help with maybe someone on here can help

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Karen and Tinytrace.

 

My nephew is 11 years old. Whilst I say he has aspergers, he is still currently being assessed for statementing, think that right! My sisters doctor told he he was convinced that my nephew does have aspergers traits but to be honest he also has traits or dyspraxia, ADD and we are confused as to whether this is all part and parcel of his aspergers.

 

My sister has been trying to get my nephew statemented and we are lucky that he is in a great mainstream school. I have posted under secondard schools with regard to some of the problems that he does have but in particular he finds it very difficult to make and maintain relationships. He thinks that anyone he says hello to at school is his best friend.

 

He is such a loving boy but quite often very hard work. He wont concentrate on what you are saying and generally has to be told on numerous occasions to do anything. He never does anything first time. I know this is common with a lot of kids but my nephew is so easily distracted and then forgets what he was starting with in the first place.

 

What my sister is concerned about is that when he was assessed originally she was told that they didnt feel he should be statemented but this was based on a very short visit. She feels that they arent seeing the full picture. At his old school he walked out on numerous occasions and was found by a main road when they finally noticed he was missing (he was younger then), he has trouble controlling his temper and will kick things and has punched a roof in the ceiling before.

 

Really any help, advice on anything we can to would be much appreciated.

 

Thanks

 

Raven xxx

 

:wub:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi raven

 

your nephew sounds very much like my Andrew he was about 11 when he was diagnosed and orignally they said he had traits from ADD ADHD DYSPRAXIA and ASPERGERS

 

im off to have a look at your post on schools as so far he sounds very similar to my son

 

ttfn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lisajb   

Hi there,

You've found the right place - people on this site have a wealth of experiences and information, so whatever your query is, there will probably be someone here who can help.

Lots of love

Lisa

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kris   
Hi,our 2 yr old daughter(baby egg!!) was diagnosed with Autism 2 wks ago.Still getting our heads round it all,open to all advice!!

Take care,Baby Eggs mum!

Hi there and welcome to the forum :)

 

Kris

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
kaz   

hi baby egg ( what a cute name :) )and her mum

 

Hope you find the help you need on here i know i do when i feel i ave no wher else to turn to :)

 

Karen x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nikki   

Hi babyeggs mum!

 

I only just found this forum a couple of weeks ago and already its been invaluable to me!

my son is 4 and I only just got a diagnosis last friday

Welcome! You will find lots of support here - I think its great

Nikki

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Florence   

Hi, I'm Florence, aged 66 and living in Dorset. 4 years ago I effectively 'abandoned' my son - then 32 by selling my house in Berkshire, helping him get a flat in Bucks and I moved back to my roots and family in Dorset. Last year my son was diagnosed with Aspergers. Instead of a nice trouble-free retirement I have spent a year travelling back and forth trying to sort out his problems and get help for him. On the good side, at least we now know why we always had problems. I am more tolerant of his idiosyncracies and he now realises he needs help. I hope I can make contact with other parents of late diagnosed adults through this forum.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
nellie   

Welcome to the forum Florence.

 

My son, now 25, was diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder at the age of 19. My husband 52 was diagnosed with asperger syndrome late last year. I hope you find the site helpful, there is usually someone who can offer advice should you need it.

 

Nellie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
elaine1   

:P

hello everyone,

I have 4 children and live in the west midlands. My son is 10 and has AS he was diagnosed when he was four as i knew from an early age what was wrong, he is due to sart secondary school in september, and we are both terrified!!

We have to do lots of dummy runs to school as he will be walking on his own, he has a group of 'friends', (I use that term loosely), but he wants to walk on his own, and wil have a few very busy roads to negotiate.

I hope we will be able to keep each other company in this group and share our many and varied wobbly moments.

elaine xx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
vjmac   

Hi elaine1,

Welcome to the site. i am pretty new to it and don't always post but it has been so much help to me just reading how other people are and what they go through. There is a wealth of information on this forum!

I love how you use the term 'wobbly moments' and if you don't mind I shall add it to my own vocabulary!

Good luck to you and your boy.

Vicki

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
leek   

hi every 1

i am a dad to 5 and hubby to tinytrace stepdad to andrew for the last 7 years

i thought that i would join this site as i have for the loast few years had my head in a hole hoping it would get better leaving trac to deal with it all after a very meaning full and deep 'discusion' with trace i am out my hole and asking for HELP and some advice.i may not post many things on this site but i will be doing a lot of reading and hopefully i will get a better understanding of what and how andrew is felling.

 

 

p.s u will all have to put up my bad spelling at times SORRY

 

 

lee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
nellie   

Lee

 

Welcome, it is really really nice to have a dad on the site, we don't have many. I hope you get a lot from it.

 

I bet it feels a bit scary coming out of the hole. Well done. Most of us have been there. I'm sure we will help you all we can.

 

Good Luck Lee

 

Nellie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Helen   

Hi Lee,

 

Welcome on board :)

 

Perhaps I'll try to get my hubby to contribute - on the other hand, I'd better not.

 

With his plain speaking (un-diagnosed Aspie), he's already crashed one rugby site and has also been banned from two others. He's not rude or nasty, he's just mischievious and winds people up the wrong way to the point that they're gagging for breath :P

 

Helen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
leek   

hi nellie and helen

 

 

thank you for makeing me feel so welcome tryed looking at the site last night but got a brain meltdown at 11.30 found so helpfull info.the only problem that i have is my wife(tinytrace) she is allways on the comp lol.anyway of to have a look around now left her in bed.once again thank you.

 

 

lee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
kaz   

Hi lee

like every one said its nice to have a male point of view as well...... i have not forgotten we have Kris as well :)

 

that hole a great place at times Lee i think we have all used it at some point or and other. I know i still visit mine from time to time.

 

As for your spelling...... if they can put up with mine they can handle yours ;)

 

Helen get your hubby on here i am sure we could handle him and Kris would make sure he did not crash the site.

 

Karen xx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi, my name is Jackie,

 

firstly a thanks to simon for telling me about this site! :D

 

I have 2 children Josh (11) and Ellie(9) I am now in the process of forcing the medical establishment to realise my son has a problem and is not just "a bad lad". Will try & keep it short! terrible 2's started early and at 11 I'm still waiting for them to be over! he has been statemented at school for the last 3 years for "unsocial behaviour" has seen the ed pshychologist, who just said he was a naughty boy & as I was a single mother it must be the way I'm raising him!!! <_< about 6 weeks ago a chance conversation introduced me to the world of AS. I went home and researched everything I could find, I sat for hours crying as all I could see was my son, 1/2 relief I finally knew what was wrong and 1/2 with dread at what life was going to be like as he will never grow out of it. since then I have spoken to the GP and the health visitor and both are amazed that Josh has not been tested for AS in the past (new GP and Health visitors!) now I am just waiting for the referal to come through that I know will take a while. but I can cope better already knowing he's not just an evil child and he can't help himself.

 

I'm really pleased to have found a uk forum! nice to know others around are in the same boat as me, I don't feel so isolated

 

sorry ended up rambling as usual!!!

 

Jackie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
nellie   

Welcome Jackie,

 

Your story reads very much like mine, the only difference being my son was 19 before the chance remark made me aware of autism.

 

My son is now 25 diagnosed with ASD. He was looked at by a consultant psychologist, expert in ASD, when he was 11, who said he wasn't on the spectrum, so I took it he knew what he was talking about and I didn't investigate it further. When a social worker made the chance remark to me I then found a book on autism and knew in the first few pages he had ASD.

 

I am very pleased you now know what is making your son different. Finding out is a bit like a bereavment, your son is what he is, but maybe not the son you thought he was. I believe that when Tony Attwood diagnoses someone with AS he says 'congratulations, you have Asperger syndrome. It does have a lot of plus points. My husband is recently diagnosed AS and he has some superb qualities, yes he drives me round the bend sometimes, but I'm sure I do the same to him (probably more so)!!

 

Hope you find the site a big help

 

Good luck

 

Nellie.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×