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warrenpenalver

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Hello

 

:robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie:

 

Sorry i liked the rabbits!!!!!

 

anyway I am Warren. Ive joined here looking to find out about ASD and Aspergers Syndrome as i have been mentally ill the last 19 months after i became ill due to bad childhood memories.

 

My friend who is a psychology graduate pushed me to get investigate at for having mild Aspergers Syndrome. Obviously as she is my friend i asked my counsellor who dismisses it straight away saying i cant of got my job as they would have detected aspergers syndrome. Instead they have been happy to call me "emotionally unstable personality disorder (borderline type)" and then change it regularly to "adjustment disorder", then schizoid personality disorder, then neurotic (reactive) depression with personality traits.

 

I want them to make thier mind up whats wrong with me (if anything)!!

 

I have done some of my own research reading a couple of books on Aspergers syndrome which has really made a lot of sense to me describing many aspects of my thought process and behaviours both as a child and now as well. Also luckily i have bumped independantly into old aquantainces who have got training in the subjec who came to same conclusion when i explained i had been unwell.

 

Some of the problems i have are certainly made worse by the memories but the psychiatrists and counsellor seems happy to blame all my problems on the childhood memories. And this is simply not the case. Its my head and i know how i think and why i do certain things but they make assumptions and do not understand my explanations.

 

Also they offer no help so i can learn the correct social rules and behaviours. I have been able to learn what many of the social rules are by asking my friend but what i cannot yet grasp is how to apply them. I just do not see the cues many others do and sometimes when i do see the cues, i am too slow to respond or respond excessively as i am happy to have noticed something i previously did not!! Thier attitude is for me to go out and socialise. no clarification just do it and it will come in time. Erm do they think i am stupid?? dont they think i have tried that before?? I have tried all the going to pubs, nightclubs, social events as is expected of my age group and nothing is changing in me not because i dont try but i dont know how. Does that make sense?? Also the environments of a pub/nightclub are often distressing to me due to overcrowding, too much noise and the fact i cant hear conversations over the noise of the other people in the pub talking so i have to listen to like 6 conversations trying to concentrate on the one that im involved with.

 

I did manage to correct some of my problems with eye contact. I would normally not bother with eye contact except when making a point (stems from being told off for not looking in eyes when telling truth as a child). I found this out from reading my medical reports where it was stated "he does not appaear to make eye contact" so i did my own research on eye contact and now can do it much better despite it being manually done and timed in my head. I still find it hard to do eye contact when talking about things that cause painful feelings so i look away.

 

This even goes with friendships and relationships.

 

I now have no family after i decided i couldnt cope with the blood family and family at work and as i couldnt leave work, I cut off the blood family 7 years ago. They didnt understand why i couldnt cope with 2 families in that way. But now as my job is at threat due to being ill to long i am at risk of having no family but again dont know how to deal with that. My counsellor thinks i should remake contact but i dont know how to cope with questions i cant answer.

 

Until 2 years ago i had no friends but i now have 1 friend and loads of aquiantances. My counsellor claims i do not make many friends as i dont have a reciprical relationship because i dont ask for anything in return and because i have no emotional bond with friends. Hence i have aquaintances. These aquantainces consider me a friend and i want to do the same and try to behave as a friend yet i have no emotional feelings for them, i choose to treat them as a friend because i want to.

 

My counsellor kept trying to get me to ask my friend out on a date because she is female. That makes no sense to me? Yes she is female but she is my friend not girlfriend. They are concerned at the fact i havent had any close intimate relationships yet they offer no help to teach me the skills i need. They do for some stupid reason ask me if im gay or if i want to hurt children. Being single does not make me gay or an evil child hurter!!! Theyve asked me this several times which annoys me greatly!!

 

My job is causing me lots of problems now too. My job used to be regular and routine and i simply had to learn lot sof different routines and the solutions to problems. I would know how things worked, what was coming ( or could be coming) and it suited me well with a set regular life at work and off time. Now i am medically deemed unfit to work in my current job so have random desk jobs until they decide what to do with me and the uncertainty, lack of routine is stressing me loads.

 

I am at the stage where i will find out in next few months if i will loose my job. If i do, i will revert back to the NHS health care system and loose the support i currently have.

 

My point of coming here is to get information and advice and sources of support so i can learn to cope myself and how to get help when i need it.

 

Thanks

Warren

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Welcome to the forum, Warren :)

 

There are a number of adults with AS here...you might like to look at the 'Beyond Adolescent' section as this is where we tend to discuss our lives and so on.

 

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time at the monet...hope you find some answers.

 

Bid

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Hello Warren,

Welcome to the forum.

Sounds like life is tough for you right now and that you have a lot of unanswered questions, this forum is a wonderful place for friendship, support, encouragement and to seek advice, I truly hope you find some positive advice here to help you take thing forward.

:robbie::robbie::robbie: .....cute them rabbits

 

Clare x x x

 

 

edited to correct spelling :oops:

Edited by Clare63

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Hi Warren, and welcome to the forum.

 

It does sound like you have a number of Asperger traits, it is definitely worth looking into.

 

I think it's silly to say that AS would have been detected in your job. Given the number of undiagnosed adults, it would be silly to expect an employer to be able to diagnose it!

 

The problem with counsellors is that they are trained to look for psychological causes for everything. It then gets confusing, because it does sound like you do have psychological issues as well.

 

I had a bad time with the mental health system as well. I don't know what the answer is, because it's not possible to cut them off when you need support.

 

Even with a diagnosis, it is very difficult to find formal supports. The biggest thing for me has been just understanding in my own mind why I am different.

 

Anyway . . . welcome to the forum. I hope you will find the support and advice you are looking for!

 

Tally.

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Thankyou for the welcomes!!! :)

 

I should clear up that its not my employers i am expecting to assess me for a diagnosis but the medical professionals provided by the employers. I recieve all my non-emergency health care through my work, including access to psychiatrists, counsellors etc and while i work for them i dont have access to NHS health care except where employer provided healthcare is not available.

 

Some of my symptoms are psychological in origin, some are not and some are a combination. To me it is obvious which is which but why do the professionals not see that or even ask.

 

:robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie:

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Some of my symptoms are psychological in origin, some are not and some are a combination. To me it is obvious which is which but why do the professionals not see that or even ask.

 

:robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie:

[/

 

Warren deciding which symptoms may be related to ASD and which may be related to other issues can be very complicated...especially in adults.

The diagnosis of AS in adults is a relatively new area and there is not a lot of awareness amongst professionals.The professionals may not know about AS and so may not know what to see or what to ask.

It may be worth reading around the Forum a bit.There have been lots of other posts about seaking to obtain a Diagnosis as an adult.

 

Karen.

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Warren.It is worth finding out whether there is anyone amongst the professionals provided by your employer who is skilled and experienced in Diagnosing AS in adults.If the professionals are not skilled in that area it may be worth looking at the other options.The NAS website has some useful information.Karen.

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ah ok in that case i will probably be better off going private or waiting until i leave my current job or get a medical discharge so i can then seek assessment via the NHS.

 

My last counsellor/mental nurse new nothing and came up with the idea that i wouldnt have got in my job about a week after i asked him to consider AS. My current one dismisses it based on what the last counsellor said.

 

I guess there is no need for specific expertise in my industry as you cant pass the medical standards with AS as its a condition that leads to automatic rejection (except where original diagnosis is considered incorrect). The mental health professionals do seem to be years behind thier NHS equivilents!!!

 

:robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie:

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I guess there is no need for specific expertise in my industry as you cant pass the medical standards with AS as its a condition that leads to automatic rejection (except where original diagnosis is considered incorrect). The mental health professionals do seem to be years behind thier NHS equivilents!!!

 

:robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie:

 

Warren I am puzzled.

I do not know what area you work in....and please do not feel you have to comment.

However I would think an individual would have grounds to make a claim for Disability Discrimination in a case where an employer discriminated against them on grounds of a disability...including AS.So AS should not lead to automatic rejection.

If it is likely that your employer would be very unsympathetic if you obtained an AS Diagnosis then it is important to consider the pros and cons of obtaining a Dx very carefuly indeed.

I am not an expert at all and am sure that others here will correct me if I am wrong.

However it appears to me that an AS Diagnosis in adulthood is helpful for self-understanding and acceptance but there is very little support provided by local authorities or the NHS.Currently adults with AS find it very difficult to access counselling or support that is tailored to the needs of individuals with AS.Karen.

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Warren, I am fairly sure the information Karen has given you about disability discrimination is correct, unless you are in the armed forces, in which case, you would need to think very carefully about pursuing an assessment for AS - a diagnosis could mean losing your job.

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Warren, I am fairly sure the information Karen has given you about disability discrimination is correct, unless you are in the armed forces, in which case, you would need to think very carefully about pursuing an assessment for AS - a diagnosis could mean losing your job.

Wow! I didn't know that - but isn't that still discrimination? How come the armed forces are outside of the law? :unsure: *crosses off another possible career option for when current plans don't work out* :lol: :lol:

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It is discrimination, but the armed forces are exempt from laws on disability discrimination. I don't know their specific policy on Asperger's, mind . . . or whether they just make a decision on a case by case basis.

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Hi Mumble/Tally....yes.Somone posted about the armed forces and AS a while ago.When I attempted to find out more I think it was the case that the armed forces is excempt from disability discrimination law generally.Karen.

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Warren I am puzzled.

I do not know what area you work in..................................

However it appears to me that an AS Diagnosis in adulthood is helpful for self-understanding and acceptance but there is very little support provided by local authorities or the NHS.

Ive been trying to push things away from my current job as ive kind of accepted its going to be over soon hence looking beyond. was trying to explain my background and why i havent had a proper assessment where as ordinarily i should have had access to the right resources.

 

yes!! i want to understand myself and what i can do and cannot and what i can improve in me to make me more happy in life - be that with NHS help or not.

 

unless you are in the armed forces

I was hoping people would move past my current job but youve worked it out so no need to hide it. Im currently serving in the Royal Navy. but probably not for much longer. I believe its a lost cause trying to get direct AS help off them for both loss of career benefits and the fact they dont have experience. also theres the security aspect but people worked it out so its ok.

 

It is discrimination, but the armed forces are exempt from laws on disability discrimination. I don't know their specific policy on Asperger's, mind . . . or whether they just make a decision on a case by case basis.

the armed forces gets a exemption on the basis of maintaining operational efficiency. They recruit on the basis of every person joining is capable of armed combat in a warzone. There are some slim exceptions within reserves and also on a disability basis depending on the medical condition itself.

 

AS (and F84 category conditions in ICD-10) is a condition that is listed as a bar to entry. BUT they do write that often AS is misdiagnosed and that if a "candidate" appears normal they can refer to a service psychiatrist to review the original diagnosis.

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Sorry Warren, I tried to phrase it so you didn't have to actually say whether or not you were. I really hope I haven't made you feel awkward, and I'm very sorry if I have. I hope you will stick around.

 

It's a very positive thing to try and focus on the future though. It will help you through the tough times.

 

To be honest, it's extremely difficult to get assessed for AS on the NHS. I tried but was eventually told point blank no, and I eventually went private. There is little awareness of AS amongst mental health professionals, and even with a diagnosis, they might not know how to help with the social skills side of things. Most of the progress I have made, I have achieved by myself. Learning about AS and meeting other autistic people has really helped in that.

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Thats ok you didnt make me feel awkward. ive just had bad experiences before where ive been treated like a murderer because im in the armed forces.

 

Oh and then you get the stupid idiots who try and question you about your military service asking stuff like "have you killed anyone?? what was it like" etc etc stuff people i the military are not going to want to talk about!!!!! But thats because they dont understand.

 

It is quite easy in my short time here to see how the NHS are pretty useless unless you make it seem financially beneficial for them to help you now so you dont become a long term NHS burden.

 

after reading science geeks post it does make me think maybe i should risk doing a similar questionaire and approaching my shrink more aggressively so he does something.

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