Right or Wrong

[Diane]

Last week I asked my DS psychologist to refer my DS (15years) to the psychiatrist for medication to help with his sleep and anxiety levels as I am unable at this point in time to give him the support in the way that he needs.

 

I would love my son to be able to leave the house and just sleep at night then he would stop looking like a zombie and perhaps go out. I know it is his ASD that causes his anxiety but I did wonder if the anxiety was not so a cute would it be easier to get him to do things.

 

At this stage I do not know what medication would be on offer or indeed how I would get him to take it, that is another battle i itself.

 

I feel guilty that I have gone down this road as my son is what you call high functioning but I really do not think he is sometimes. Perhaps I have misunderstood what high functioning means. Can someone clarify this for me?

 

I am feeling all in a muddle over this and I just want to sit and cry which will help no-one.

[Karen A]

Last week I asked my DS psychologist to refer my DS (15years) to the psychiatrist for medication to help with his sleep and anxiety levels as I am unable at this point in time to give him the support in the way that he needs.

 

I would love my son to be able to leave the house and just sleep at night then he would stop looking like a zombie and perhaps go out. I know it is his ASD that causes his anxiety but I did wonder if the anxiety was not so a cute would it be easier to get him to do things.

 

At this stage I do not know what medication would be on offer or indeed how I would get him to take it, that is another battle i itself.

 

I feel guilty that I have gone down this road as my son is what you call high functioning but I really do not think he is sometimes. Perhaps I have misunderstood what high functioning means. Can someone clarify this for me?

 

I am feeling all in a muddle over this and I just want to sit and cry which will help no-one.

 

Hi.I think high functioning is sometimes used to describe individuals who have ASD but who have average or above average intelligence.They may have a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome or high functioning autism.However individuals who have AS or HFA can still experience high levels of anxiety which impact the ability to cope with everyday activities and sleep patterns.Individuals with AS may also develop mental health problems such as anxiety and depression that may not necessarily be related to ASD in the same way that they might develop a physical illness.

There are several parents on the Forum who have been concerned regarding their teenager with ASD and anxiety and have decided to request a referal to a psychiatrist.So please do not feel guilty about asking for help.Karen.

 

[baddad]

Certainly none of what your son is going through is 'your fault' or any reason to feel guilty or that you've failed him. If medication helps, that's not a failure either - it's part of the process of helping, in just the same way that giving someone medication for (i.e.,) seizures.

 

I think a good deal of teenage stress is related to self-esteem, and all those raging hormones/physical changes that are going on. They can hit much harder for autistic teens, because, quite often self-esteem has already taken many knocks purely from the outside world's response to 'difference'. In most fifteen year old boys the retreat to the bedroom is a 'classic' developmental stage (kevin & perry), and i guess girls go through a similar phase, but for most of them there is the 'flipside' that when they're not moping about on their own they are out being loud, obnoxious and irritating with their mates while thinking they are the kings of kool... Some teens, however - and probably a much higher percentage of autistic teens - won't have that flipside, because the whole 'mates' thing has been compromised by their problems with socialisation and (again) the outside worlds responses to those problems.

 

Very, very hard, for teen and parents alike, but nobody's 'fault' and nothing either he or you should beat yourself up over. Difficult enough living it - let alone feeling guilty about living it.

 

Hope those meds help, and that something comes along soon to offer some wider opportunities.

 

L&P

 

BD

 

 

[Diane]

Hi.I think high functioning is sometimes used to describe individuals who have ASD but who have average or above average intelligence.They may have a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome or high functioning autism.However individuals who have AS or HFA can still experience high levels of anxiety which impact the ability to cope with everyday activities and sleep patterns.Individuals with AS may also develop mental health problems such as anxiety and depression that may not necessarily be related to ASD in the same way that they might develop a physical illness.

There are several parents on the Forum who have been concerned regarding their teenager with ASD and anxiety and have decided to request a referal to a psychiatrist.So please do not feel guilty about asking for help.Karen.

 

Yes my son indeed is high functioning but his anxiety is extreme. I have at this moment in time a very intelligent child who may never get to apply it to anything as he cannot go out. so I guess it is really important to try and get on top of the anxiety. if it is the ASD that is causing it does one have to deal with that first. I think I am confused a little.

[Diane]

Certainly none of what your son is going through is 'your fault' or any reason to feel guilty or that you've failed him. If medication helps, that's not a failure either - it's part of the process of helping, in just the same way that giving someone medication for (i.e.,) seizures.

 

I think a good deal of teenage stress is related to self-esteem, and all those raging hormones/physical changes that are going on. They can hit much harder for autistic teens, because, quite often self-esteem has already taken many knocks purely from the outside world's response to 'difference'. In most fifteen year old boys the retreat to the bedroom is a 'classic' developmental stage (kevin & perry), and i guess girls go through a similar phase, but for most of them there is the 'flipside' that when they're not moping about on their own they are out being loud, obnoxious and irritating with their mates while thinking they are the kings of kool... Some teens, however - and probably a much higher percentage of autistic teens - won't have that flipside, because the whole 'mates' thing has been compromised by their problems with socialisation and (again) the outside worlds responses to those problems.

 

Very, very hard, for teen and parents alike, but nobody's 'fault' and nothing either he or you should beat yourself up over. Difficult enough living it - let alone feeling guilty about living it.

 

Hope those meds help, and that something comes along soon to offer some wider opportunities.

 

L&P

 

I am not feeling so bad about this now as I had not thought of meds as part of the process of helping just as me not giving him what he needs.

 

It is true he does not have a 'flipside to his life it is non existant and that is what I want to change a little.

 

Thank you for your comments they have helped me shift my perspective. <'>

 

 

 

 

[baddad]

I am not feeling so bad about this now as I had not thought of meds as part of the process of helping just as me not giving him what he needs.

 

It is true he does not have a 'flipside to his life it is non existant and that is what I want to change a little.

 

Thank you for your comments they have helped me shift my perspective. <'>

 

glad to hear it... hope things are a little less bumpy soon

 

 

[Karen A]

Yes my son indeed is high functioning but his anxiety is extreme. I have at this moment in time a very intelligent child who may never get to apply it to anything as he cannot go out. so I guess it is really important to try and get on top of the anxiety. if it is the ASD that is causing it does one have to deal with that first. I think I am confused a little.

 

Hi again.I think the psychiatrist might not be able to deal with the ASD first .However if the psychiatrist decides that the anxiety is related to ASD then they may suggest different approaches to if they think it is a different issue.

I hope that has not confused you a lot and glad you are feling a bit better.Karen.

 

[Mandapanda]

Hi Diane

 

As I understand it, high functioning does not actually mean they have a high (ie higher than average) level of functioning, just a high level compared to classic autism. They can still have great difficulties.

 

Having one son with straightforward Asperger's Syndrome, and another son with traits of Autistic Spectrum plus Severe Anxiety, I know that the anxiety is the hardest thing to deal with. I can 'get into the mindset' of my son with Asperger's, but I find it very difficult to understand and stay patient with my anxious son. It is so frustrating when you know they really want to do something but the anxiety is stopping them. I also feel sometimes when you tell other people your child suffers from anxiety, they think 'oh they worry too much, but they can get over that', but it really is just not that easy.

 

I have recently had a crisis, feeling I was pathetic and useless for not being able to help my son, so I do sympathise. It is very demanding and stressful living with someone with a level of anxiety that stops them doing even the things they want to.

 

My son is improving a bit now. He was very very depressed (even more than we had realised), and now his mood has lifted he is starting to be able to tackle some of his smaller anxieties. I finally feel that there is a glimmer of hope, although he is just coming up 13 so I don't know what effect hormones will have when they kick in!!

 

Look after yourself so you are able to look after him. <'> <'> <'>

[Diane]

Hi Diane

 

 

Having one son with straightforward Asperger's Syndrome, and another son with traits of Autistic Spectrum plus Severe Anxiety, I know that the anxiety is the hardest thing to deal with. I can 'get into the mindset' of my son with Asperger's, but I find it very difficult to understand and stay patient with my anxious son. It is so frustrating when you know they really want to do something but the anxiety is stopping them. I also feel sometimes when you tell other people your child suffers from anxiety, they think 'oh they worry too much, but they can get over that', but it really is just not that easy.

 

I am afraid Aspergers and severe anxiety togther is so difficult to deal with. I am afraid to say and iknow you won't want to hear this but the hormonehave made things worse. He is 15 now.

 

You are right about other people tinking it is easy for yor child to overcome their anxieties. I feel very frustrated with my DS, yet I know it is not his fault and it is the Aspergers that drives his anxiety. I he would just leave the house even to come to Tesco with me I would feel better, this is something he used to be ble to do. I am not expecting him to go and have a normal socil life. Just coming out with me would do. He used to go out not far but wit me and he seems to have lost the ability to do this.

 

How is it that having worked o hard with him to get him to go out and he id it succesfully that he can nolonger do it.? Is it just the hormones or the hormones and ASD combined.

 

My DS now will not een listen to what I have to say ort hink about going any where he just ays no, gets in a mood and hides.

 

Sorry for grmling on, just needed to off load

 

[Mandapanda]

How is it that having worked o hard with him to get him to go out and he id it succesfully that he can nolonger do it.? Is it just the hormones or the hormones and ASD combined.

 

My DS now will not een listen to what I have to say ort hink about going any where he just ays no, gets in a mood and hides.

 

This is how my son was when he was very depressed. Depression can increase anxiety as well (and probably vice versa). If he's not sleeping this could be likely to affect his mood as well. He is probably just 'protecting himself' in the only way he can, by controlling his life by staying at home. We have gone against professional advice and given Aj the time to get better on his own, rather than 'forcing' him to do things. Taking the pressure off to do things has definitely helped him and the psychologist has been surprised at the changes he has made on his own since the pressure has been taken off. It's a risky strategy but it seems to be working in our case. In my experience, it's important that you listen to your instincts (which is difficult when the professionals are saying to do opposite things). You know your child better than anyone else. Listen to other people's advice and really think about whether you think the advice is right for your son or not.

 

Hormones: OK so I need to brace myself for the next few years !!!!

 

 

 

 

[smiley1590]

i suffer from severe anxiety ,social anxiety and depression it really bad somedays especially i had official diagnosis around starting early puberty with hormones mixed together with adjusting chages to body and mind wasn't good at all!

 

good luck with everything

take care

XKLX

[smiley1590]

i'm on meds on and off since 14 years old and MH team and services which for me most been negative facotr the anti-depressants now helps me sleep as have insomia! (mirtazapine-45mg) but ssitll binge eating problem i'm overweight have body image problems! and anxiety which don't take anything for i have paranoia,panic attacks,self-harm

[trekster]

Have you tried GABA or taurine or 5htp? All are OTC remedies from a HFS.

 

Taurine helps me sleep but doesnt have an anti depressant effect

Licorice root extract helps with evening related anxiety

GABA i havent tried but it can help with anxiety type depression

5htp helps with sleep and depression.

 

HTH

 

Alexis