Wish me luck

[Tally]

Tomorrow at work I am planning to tell my boss about my Asperger's. I am fairly sure he will take it well, and also understand my reasons for not telling straight away. We have interests in common, so it's not been so much of an issue that I talk about cats all the time.

 

I actually think he already knows. He has me on Facebook and I am not exactly subtle about it on there! I have just taken a week off to attend an event for people with autism/Asperger's called Autscape, and I have spent the weekend commenting on photos other people took (including some of myself) at Autscape. He is familiar with the internet and perfectly capable of googling "Autscape" to find out what it is . . . I can't be sure he has done this, but he probably has!

 

I think I will feel better once I've said it, but I'm still nervous all the same!

[BuntyB]

I just posted on the other thread, but best of luck! If he's a sensitive guy I'm sure he's spotted it. I see people at work who I am pretty sure have autism but you'd never like to say..!

[Tally]

Well I think my boss has Asperger's himself. If he has any idea then he might suspect from seeing a lot of himself in me. On the other hand he might just think I am completely normal because I am just like him! He seems to think I am very level-headed and normal

 

I'm not going to mention anything about him maybe being an aspie too, unless he brings it up first.

[trekster]

Good luck, you are doing a very brave thing "coming out asperger"

[Karen A]

I hope it goes well today. <'>

Karen.

[Tally]

It went well. Big relief

[Stella63]

Fantastic!!

 

What did you say and what was his response????

 

Please give us the details!!

 

Stella xx

[trekster]

It went well. Big relief

 

Well done a weight off your mind.

[Tally]

I started by saying something like, "you know how I may be a bit strange and talk about cats a lot? Well that is because I have Asperger Syndrome, which is a type of autism."

 

He asked how it affects me and I explained how it's hard for me to imagine how other people may be feeling, and that I care about other people's feelings, I just don't always know what they might be. I said that a lot of things that come naturally to other people, I have had to sit back and think about and work out other ways, but that it can be hard work sometimes and I don't always get it right.

 

I said that I didn't explain when I applied for the job because I didn't think I'd get a job if I explained I might have difficulty talking to customers and could be hard to get on with. He said he would have hired me anyway and he's probably telling the truth, but he understood when I explained that I did not know him then.

 

I said that I cope well in work because the expectations are clear, and because I have worked out, through experience in my previous jobs, the right kind of ways to talk to customers. Also, the fact that he likes cats too probably makes my cat obsession less annoying than other people may find it!

 

He said that he had noticed my Asperger/autism links on Facebook, but assumed I had a relative with it and never realised I had this problem myself. He said that when he first met me he thought I just seemed quite shy, and that many other staff have been quite shy as well, so it wasn't difficult for him to initiate conversation with me and get to know me. He is probably right about me being a bit shy!

 

He talked about his own experiences as a teenager and in early adulthood when he was also painfully shy, and said that he could empathise a lot with what I was saying about my own difficulties, because he had similar ones, although the cause was different - he was very badly depressed at this age, suffered from very low self-esteem and severe shyness. I still think that Asperger's may be at the root of his difficulties too (even though he said he could empathise), but I did not say this. I told him how my diagnosis and meeting other adults with autism has been really good for me and I have made a lot of progress over the past few years.

 

Then I told him a bit about Autscape and the fun and silliness we got up to. He says it sounds like fun. I think I will try to get him to come if we ever manage to have a forum meet on a Sunday. He likes to talk about Dr Who.

 

I gave him a short document I gave to my previous employer. I explained that it was 2 years old now and was intended for my previous employer, but that he might find it interesting anyway. I also gave him a 10-page document about autism and Asperger's, which I told him I did not expect him to read, but he did read it on his lunchbreak and he said it was very interesting and answered all his questions!

 

Although he is my boss, it's normally just the two of us working together, so he is my only colleague as well as being my boss. We don't socialise together outside of work, but we spend so much time together that we are kind of friends really. That was another reason why I really wanted to tell him. It felt a bit dishonest not to. Not telling him would have meant I could not tell him about Autscape last week and the reason I took a week off work. Last year I had only just started the job when I went to Autscape so I could just tell him briefly that I went away with some friends, but this year it just seemed silly not to tell him about my holiday.

 

I told him also about having ME. That was quite easy because it is also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and it does exactly what it says on the tin! He knows I am always tired even though I only work part time and don't do a lot else.

[baranigirl]

well done thats fantastic

[Robyn]

This si something a dread for future jobs....

 

So glad it went so well for you though!

[Karen A]

That is great news.

Karen.

[Sammysnake]

Well done Tally, you explained yourself really clearly and concisely. I'm so pleased for you that you got such a positive response.

[trekster]

Well done Tally, you explained yourself really clearly and concisely. I'm so pleased for you that you got such a positive response.

 

Agreed you explained Aspergers and ME in a way i find hard to articulate.

[catlady]

Agreed you explained Aspergers and ME in a way i find hard to articulate.

 

I completely agree! I expect it is a great relief a) to have done it and that your boss was so accepting and interested.

[Lifevoyager]

WEll done Tally- wish I was as brave as you!

[Jannih]

Hi Tally,

 

I bet that's a load off your mind, not to mention you have found a like minded colleague and he happens to be your line manager. I am so glad it has worked out well for you.

 

Jannih

[Aeolienne]

Personally I wouldn't want a boss as a Facebook friend, but each to their own.