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Tally

Power of Attorney

8 posts in this topic

Just wondered if anyone might know the answer to this one.

 

My 96-year-old godmother has asked my mum to meet her nephew to discuss power of attorney.

 

At the moment she is able to manage her own day-to-day financial affairs and her nephew lives close by and already helps out if, for example, she needed to deal with a sales person over some repairs to her home. (He also helps out with mobility-related issues as she is now fairly restricted in this regard.) So I would not have thought this would be necessary at the moment, although at 96 you've got to accept that it may be necessary in the near future.

 

My mum is a bit concerned about what my godmother may be planning, although is pretty sure the nephew is not trying to take advantage in any way.

 

Does anyone know anything about power of attorney, and whether it's something you can plan for in advance of it being put into place?

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Off the top of my head. :blink:

Enduring Power of Attorney is the one you want. You get it is place so that when the time comes that the person is no longer able to look after there own affairs some one has the power to make decisions on their behalf. Up until this point they still have complete control of thing (if they want). It can contain instruction how they want their affairs dealt with and there is also provision for thing like how they want to finish their day(In an old people home or whatever). It is a legal document and although there are DIY versions out there they have to be endorsed by the legal profession.

Edited by chris54

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My dad made my eldest brother power of attorney about 5 years ago, he was about 55 yrs old at the time.The reason being that he was travelling abroad at least every two years and going for three mths at a time, so he thought if something were to happen to him abroad my brother would have full access to his bank accounts to pay for any hospital costs or at the worst funeral expenses.

 

I think its a good thing really, my brother is a very honest and trustworthy person and can say that if were me I would probably take advantage.

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IIRC the law was changed slightly a couple of years ago, so all PoAs have to be registered now. Therefore you will need to speak to a solicitor - call round some local ones and see if you can get a fixed price quote. They are the best people to advise you really. But as Chris ays, PoA can be put in place years or even decades in adance and specify what can be controlled. Best uesed in conjunction with a rock solid Will!

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Hi.

We are in a similar position with my MIL although a sister in law who is most involved is in the process of organising it rather than my husband.My MIL may have dementia.The thinking is that it easier to organise now while MIL is able to cope to some extent rather than let things deteriorate further.

Karen.

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My godmother and her nephew are the type of people to want everything done "properly" and use a solicitor.

 

It is reassuring that this is something that can be set up ahead of time, as hopefully this is what she is doing because I don't think it would be necessary at the moment.

 

We're also not sure why they want my mum involved. It's obviously not my godmother wanting my mum's advice, because otherwise she would not have asked my mum to meet with her nephew already. My mum does not live close enough to be able to make day-to-day decisions. I wondered if maybe they need a second person involved to make decisions if, say, the nephew was unable to make decisions for a short period like if he went on holiday. Or perhaps just to act as a witness that my godmother is not being coerced into this, which I am pretty sure she is not as it would be very difficult to coerce her into anything!

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I've decided that I can't carry on any longer battling endlessly with officialdom that treats me like dirt rather than as a feeling, caring human being. The stress is unbearable and will drive me towards ending my life if nothing is done.

I've been reading about the mental capacity act, and in the area of money and legal matters I easily satisfy all four criteria:

 

where someone has any impairment ...of the mind or brain and is unable to communicate, understand, retain or evaluate information relevant to that decision, they can be said to lack capacity in relation to it.

I satisfy this criteria in that my impairment is entirely due to the effects of autism. I have difficulty communicating, understanding, retaining and evaluating information relevant to making decisions regarding money or legal matters, and even have difficulty making decisions generally.

All four characteristics make me unable to make decisions in certain areas, and if I do attempt to make them they may turn out to be the 'wrong' decisions which me very vulnerable to all kinds of exploitation.

a) Communication. The language and jargon of money and officialdom is alien and confusing to me. I tend to go along with it, pretending to understand, simply to reduce stress time - always my priority.

B) Understanding. As the language confuses me, it causes stress and so I can only ever grasp bits of the whole. If it lacks logic, or isn't concise and clearly explained, I'll be even less able to understand it. Even without the jargon, it can still easily reach a point where I 'get lost'.

c) Retaining information. My short-term memory and concentration in this area is very poor, and I'm easily distracted. If the subject doesn't interest me, then it's highly unlikely that I'll remember the details - or even the basics. I find money, law, politics, etc. not only illogical and confusing but also uninspiring, trivial, mundane and very, very dull.

d) Evaluating. If I don't understand it or misinterpret it, obviously there's no chance that I can wisely evaluate it.

This doesn't mean that I have difficulty with these four processes in other situations. It depends very much on circumstances and the degree of stress that they create, if any. The very act of discussing these 'toxic' matters involves social interaction with strangers who don't have my interests at heart - and this itself causes further stress - especially when those strangers are unpleasant, arrogant, stupid, insulting or bad-mannered. The more stress and anxiety, the less capable I become. (Although, regardless of this, I still have underlying autism-related difficulties to deal with: dyscalculia, apophenia, distraction, lack of concentration, absent-mindedness, dyspraxia and a disinterest in money - all of which add to my executive dysfunction).

 

My big question is what can I do about it? I relied on my parents until they died. I want to appoint someone with 'power of attorney' (silly jargon again), but I don't know anyone and wouldn't be able to handle the form-filling without help.

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Contact the mindinfoline and ask them about finding an independent mental health advocate.

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