bid Report post Posted June 21, 2005 Hi My 4 year old is in the middle of assessments, so no dx (and I'm beginning to feel that he'll never get one!). When he was at Playgroup and then Nursery he was very self-contained, with little interest in the other children. Within the last few weeks he has 'suddenly' started to be more interested, going up to other children and talking to them which he didn't do before. BUT...now I'm having terrible trouble with him no longer wanting to go to Nursery!! He says it's because other children have pushed him or stood in front of him in a line. He has also said he's never picked in the circle games they play. What does anyone else think? My immediate thought was that now that he's started to socialise he's found that other children are unpredictable, etc. Or am I over-reacting?? The coincidence is just so marked...when he had little interest in other children he loved going to Playgroup and Nursery!! Any thoughts would be great... Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
George Report post Posted June 21, 2005 Hi bid, I don't think you are over-reacting, I think this is precisely what happens (a lot of the time), I wonder if maybe you could identify a child within his nursery that may be wanting a friend too and have him and his mother over for tea? My son is nearly five and he has great difficulty playing with children of his own age because some boys of his age tend to be quite boisterous and not accepting of his individuality, he plays best with girls about 2yrs younger than himself ? its much more rewarding for him. Also do you think its possible that he has been encouraged by staff at the playgroup to "play" a bit more, he may feel that people expect this, if he was happy the way he was he could always go back to that. I'm not up on rules in nursery but could he take a small toy in with him that you have given him and if the other children dont pick him he could play with his toy and know that you have picked him! sorry if thats not much help George Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted June 21, 2005 Hi Bidster - I think what you're describing is a fairly typical stage of development; the more he's becoming self awre the more his awareness of others is growing too. That brings all sorts of other dynamics into the equation too: self esteem (not picked for games), group identity/pecking orders (pushing in etc), and his role in the group. Also, he's probably trying some strategies out to see how he can work those things to his advantage . While not without it's negative side, it all sounds really positive to me, 'cos if he's starting to get a grasp on those things he'll also be establishing ways to deal with them. One other thought - possibly an 'unwelcome' one in some respects - is that your home 'group dynamic' has gone through some fairly hefty upheavels recently, which i suspect may be another 'marked coincidence' to draw into the equation. Keep on keeping on L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted June 21, 2005 Hi Bid, Just sending <'> <'> Perhaps now your son has started to talk to other children he might find just one person at nursery he can connect with. I hope so. K Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
