Paranoia??

[Anneuk]

I was wondering lately whether parents of a child with Aspergers often 'look' or 'imagine' symptoms in their other children.

 

My youngest daughter who i now seven is becoming more and more of a worry to us...

when our rabbit got out and killed recently she said, "did muffin die mummy" oh right... then carried on regardless... also she is soooo very very forgetful, and extremyl clumsy... she still ahs bed wetting problems and over reacts at the slightest thing.. when she is told off' big time' she seems almost resigned to it, as though... this is her lot... She also often walks on tippy toes which is something a paediatricain asked me about way before my other daughter was diagnosed, its something she has always done and I thought it was just her!!

 

Also like my Aspie daughter she doesn't sleep....

 

Funnily enough not all the symptoms I have described above, are consistent with my aspie daughter so I wonder if I am imagining things or if she too may have a little problem??

 

I do know quite a few people who have more than one child with Aspergers, so is this quite common?

 

Please reply.. you know I don't post often but tend to go on and on when I do!!!

 

Anne

[bid]

Hi Anne,

 

We're in the same situation ourselves at the moment!

 

Eldest son (nearly 16) AS. Two completely NT daughters (10 and 7)...and another son of 4 who just makes us feel uneasy.

 

I first talked to the HV a year ago about our concerns, and she was great...didn't make me feel I was being paranoid. Anyway, she felt there was enough to refer him, if only to 'put our minds at rest'.

 

He has now had one Child Development Check with a great paediatrician, who actually had my eldest son's medical file on her desk and had read it! He has also had a basic Speech and Language assessment.

 

There was nothing 'definite' in either of these, but enough to make the professionals 'uneasy' too...so in the Autumn he is going to the Communication Disorders Assessment Clinic.

 

At every stage the professionals have treated us and our concerns with great respect. I have also been keeping a sort of diary of the 'funny' things he does (under headings like Speech and Lang, Social Interaction, Play, etc). I print this off and give it to the various professionals at each appointment.

 

If you have any concerns I would say trust your instincts. Have you thought about going for any assessments?

 

Bid

[Elanor]

Hi Anne

 

After my son was diagnosed, I did start to worry about his younger brother. I felt that, since I had been raising a child with AS, I wasn't in a position to judge whether my other son was NT.

 

Time has passed, and my thoughts are much clearer these days.

 

M older son's psychiatrist agreed to meet my younger son and assess him - it only took about 20 minutes of his time, and really put my mind to rest. I do think that he used to copy some of his brother's behaviours - his role model.

 

I don't know whether if you have one child with an ASD, there's a greater chance of having a second - but I suspect that this might be the case. If ASDs have a degree of genetic causation, then it seems logical that there's an increased likelihood of having further affected children. However, I don't know if there's any evidence for this theory.

 

Elanor

[Anneuk]

Hi thanks Both,

Bid I have thought about assessments, but i fought for all 10yrs of Jacquelines life to get her assessed, and in the end when private.

I am prepared to do this again, but with money tight, I wonder if it's just my imagination.

 

Was also thinking about the 'learned behaviour ' thing.. the thing is she isn't like her older sister, most of her 'differences' and problems are not the same as her sisters, I thought they would be if it were copied behaviour..

 

It can really do your head in sometimes....

 

wanted to use this smiley as just saw it and thought it looked real cute... lol

 

Anne

[Zemanski]

Dot is 4 years younger than Com and it was clear from birth just about that she wasn't like him but we did keep a closer eye on her because of his difficulties.

 

I wasn't concerned about AS because she was social from the start and her imaginative play, her ability to manipulate people to get what she wanted and her expressive face made it clear she didn't have autism.

 

however, she does have different problems - dyslexia and dyspraxia (very different dyspraxic symptoms from Com's).

 

If we had not been aware of Com's difficulties I think we would not have spotted hers so early and rather than imagining that she had his problems we had the benefit of recognising that her difficulties were not the same and were more able to deal with her as an individual.

 

on the other hand it's generally accepted that autism runs in families so if you do pick up things that seem suspect it is worth checking them out - the earlier the better.

second children then get the full benifit of our understanding of autism and have a better chance of getting early intervention.

and if worries are unfounded at least we know that they have been checked out and dismissed rather than ignored until it's too late.

 

I'm very pleased that even though we knew Dot didn't have AS we let her be assessed for it - it gave us several pointers to what her problems really are and came as a great relief to have it all confirmed at a relatively young age.

 

instincts are good - act on them, if you are wrong it does no harm to check and may save your younger children a lot of the angst their older siblings had to go through if it turns out that you are right

 

Zemanski

[Suze]

Anne I can relate to your post completely...I too have worried over my daughter who is 6.I,ve not done anything yet I don,t think I,m in a strong enough place to cope but I,m keeping a close eye on things....being paranoid worries me too.

[admum]

Hia Anne. Son is 9 nearly 10 with dx of aspergers, adhd and dyspraxia. Daughter who is 4 is now on a 2 year waiting list for a social comms assessment which was recommended by her paediatrician- the same one who suspected son had asd. My daughter is v different to son but I see some sihns which wory me. Her nursery dont accept it but then they dont think my son appears asd either. Its probably a case that were more tuned in. Ever find yourself in a shop thinking that a child you spot with autistic behaviours. ? Im not sure about the dx for my daughter. We went to paediatrican as Hv thought had dyspraxia - that was ruled out but they thought her play was rigid. Im not sure if she is copying. Good luck. I know how you feel. At least as someone here said to me youre prepared better second time around.

[Corcaigh]

I do think that he used to copy some of his brother's behaviours - his role model.

I think this is what happens most of the time with younger siblings. My daughter is 6, NT and no problems whatsover with her peers but sometimes when she loses her temper she tends to react towards me like the brother: it's total mimicry. When I make her realise what she's just said or done -I may say "You don't have to use those words just because your brother does" -she quickly apologises and looks truly sorry for upsetting me. Her brother doesn't give a toss, that's the difference in behaviour.

Copying older siblings often play a huge role in family relationship. Of course, as parents it's extremely difficult to step back and observe. We always need some help.

 

Martina