Come to a decision

[Viper]

Hi all.

 

Most of you must know by now the problems we are having with school and Ben not useing the loo. We have been told he will only get a few hours a day when he starts in September if he is still in nappies.

 

Well we have tried everything to encourage him to poo on the loo but he is simply afraid of it. He wees standing up and has gone without a nappy at night for a whole week now so I know it is just a fear that stops him, a fear that extends to other toilets, he will only wee in ours.

 

I have been trying to bribe, presurise, cajole and persuade him to poo without a nappy but it just isn't working, so I have decided to just leave him alone. A continence nurse has told us we have done everything right and there is nothing more we can do.

 

The way I look at it is, someone who is scared of spiders would not let them walk all over them for nothing so why should we force Ben to do what he is scared of just to fit in at school? If it comes to it we will take the school on for descrimination, up untill now I have been reasonable over all this but the nurse dealing with Bens problems says there are several children at the school in nappies and they deal with them so what is the problem over Ben. I think it is a smoke screen as they also expressed concern over Bens violent outbursts.

 

So to conclude I am leaving Ben alone and dealing with the school, I feel releived to have come to this decision, as though the light has dawned.

 

I don't know why I am telling you all this I just needed to put it down to make it official.

 

Thanks for listening to me ramble.

 

Viper.

Edited June 29, 2005 by Viper

[elainem]

Hi,

 

you sound relieved to have made this decision. Toileting problems are sooo stressful. I know when you have posted before about this I have mentioned my ds. He would not poo on the toilet, used to wait for his bedtime nappy. Now at 4.5 years he has finally done it, and will take himself to the loo. It is a major transformation and I would not have beleived anyone if they had tried to predict this. I think Ben will do it when the time is right for him. Best wishes

 

Elaine

[mossgrove]

Viper

 

We had major problems in this area too. If your son is anything like hours he will 'hang on' while he is at school so it may not arise as an issue.

 

Did you have any success in getting your son to sit on the toiled to poo (while wearing a nappy)?

 

Simon

[Viper]

No moss when I sugested he sit in a nappy he looked at me like I was stupid. I can see his point, why sit on a toilet when you are wearing a nappy, I think it is the no grey area thing with him, you know what I mean there are only black and white and no in betweens.

 

Viper.

[puffin]

Most of you must know by now the problems we are having with school and Ben not useing the loo. We have been told he will only get a few hours a day when he starts in September if he is still in nappies.

Sorry that you are having so much trouble with the school. I'm sure I've read on my travels that it is against the Disability Discrimination legislation to deny an SEN child schooling for being in nappies - perhaps another poster can quote chapter and verse on this.

 

Good luck

[baddad]

Hi Viper -

Good luck with it. for my money you've made the right decision - taking the 'stress' element out you may find things evolve on their own anyway (but if not; no worries!) With the change of environments you may find also that a 'softly softly' programme within the school (combined with lot of positive peer role modelling) brings things along - but watch them carefully to make sure thay don't try to force anything.

Very best

BD