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Sally44

Phased return to school

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My son has been at his new school for about 4 weeks now. He is already going for 3 half days - which is a huge improvement from around 2 hours per week, which is what he was tolerating at his last school. He's agreed to go to their Christmas party and Christmas dinner day. The school have been brilliant in supporting him throughout his time in school. The SALT and/or OT, Dyslexia teacher have been with him in the classroom and during break times. He's already knows most of their names, where in his other school he did not know the TA's name after 3 years! We will be extending his time in school after Christmas to include Friday mornings. Then 4 weeks after that we will extend it further by having him stop for his dinner too. We've had the interim review, where I stated I wanted him to remain at Alderwasley for secondary. So, just waiting for the outcome of that. He is still very anxious, but is becoming more and more open to trying things. I suspect that within 6 months he will be in school full time and enjoying it. I'm so impressed with the therapy team. They have already identified things I thought he had difficulties with, which other professionals have been denying for years. The Dyslexia teacher is brilliant. She really knows her stuff and knows how to move him on. And everyone is in regular contact with me, keeping me updated on how things are going. I'm feeling very positive about everything.

Edited by Sally44

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Hi Sally,

 

Really good to hear your very positive news! Must be pure bliss to be in such a supportive environment for both of you.

 

I can't remember - is he commuting from home every day and is the plan for him to ultimately be residential? Just was wondering how he was coping with that aspect?

 

How are you feeling - are you still moderately stressed due to the interim review?

 

Really hope your family manage to have a relaxing and happy Xmas after such a hellish year/x

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He's travelling in by taxi.

And he's coped well with that too.

It takes about the same length of time as it did to taxi him to his previous school.

But after the bullying incidents at his previous school, we were concerned he might refuse to go in the taxi.

But he's been absolutely fine.

He travels in with two other older boys [14 and 17].

And he really likes older boys anyway, so he's happier than ever.

The boys are very nice too, similar to my son.

Hes' going to be a day student. He won't be residential, although that is something we might consider when he is older as part of his "life skills" and independence training.

 

This is just such a different experience and feeling from all the previous years. It is definately been worth the struggle to get here. And I think he is absolutely the right type of pupil for this school.

Edited by Sally44

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That's great - transport can cause all sorts of problems if it doesn't work, so really pleased to hear all is well.

 

I am sure you are very glad you are now at this side of the proceedings!

 

Best Wishes

 

Grace/x

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It all feels very very different.

 

Before it was usually me and maybe someone from the PP sat opposite the school, LA, professionals etc, who were all in denial and claiming everything was fine when it clearly was not.

 

Now it is me sat on the side with the school with the LA EP sat opposite us. And the school and I are totally in agreement.

 

I don't feel like the underdog anymore.

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That really is good news Sally. It's an extra fun time to be at school before Christmas too!

 

I hope things continue to improve for you both.

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Im glad your getting all the help ive got meetings staturoty assessment next year my son has ho me tutor well were hoping to get it started back .....lindy

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hi sally, i've not been on here for ages but i am so glad to see that things are going so well, it makes a huge difference having the right school, my son is still doing well, the lea attended the second annula review which my son ran himself, introducing everyone and putting his own views as well, and after us preparing for a massive fight for post 16 next year, the lea simply said ,"we have no intention of removing him from this school for post 16" , and this was even sweeter coming from the lady who had been refusing to help us for almost 8 years was an even sweeter vistory, i just cried wiht relief !! He also gets one night residential paid for by soc services as respite, he still isn't happy about that but he is grwoing all the time in confidence and self belief, he was even headmaster for the day and had the main part in the dchool christmas play last month, i'm sure your son will grow more and more in this new school and although my son still has separation problems we are slowly getting there with everything else. he is also now doing his duke of edinburgh award somethign which i never thought he would achieve , but he is already half way through it , good luck with your son , i'm sure he will just continue to progress more than you ever thought possible xx

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Bensmum that's such a fantastic update! I remember the battle you had to get your son into the school. So glad to hear he's doing so well. :)

 

 

K x

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That is really good news to hear about your son.

 

My son is now attending for 4 half days.

 

We are now talking with Paediatrician, ClinPsych and CAHMS about medication and therapy for his anxiety and OCD behaviour, which although lessened, is still a major battle for him every day.

 

His hands are red raw and he has hives practically every day, yet cannot stop washing his hands due to fears of germs and contamination.

 

Paediatrician agrees that it would be helpful to reduce these obsessive rituals at the same time he receives therapy, because although he knows "in his head" what is logical, the OCD behaviour means that it is compulsive behaviour due to intrusional thoughts that do not go away until he has performed the ritual.

 

We are not sure what they may prescribe. They have already prescribed something to help him sleep, but said he needs something for the general anxiety he experiences with transitions, and a different type of medication for the OCD behaviour and anxiety.

 

My husband does not want him on medication. And although I am very reluctant, we are kind of out of other options.

 

If this placement were to fail due to his anxieties there is just no where else to go, and due to his combination of difficulties and his anxiety and OCD and dyslexia etc etc, I know I could not home educate. And he would not be motivated and would not cooperate with home education.

 

Plus I think he is starting puberty, and that isn't going to help the situation.

Edited by Sally44

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Hi Thanks kathryn , nice to hear from you, ;life is much different for my family and i now, and definately worth the fight,

 

Sally, it really sounds like your son is doing well getting back into school but our kids are so complex it's hard to deal with everything at once, maybe if he tries medication for some of his issues , it will also help others, i am very lucky in that they did consider nmedicating for his anxiety but in the end they didn't . I would have accepted anything at that time to help.I hope he goes froms trength to strength and his placement wont fail with you behind him , you have given myself and many other people invaluable advice and whatever happens he has you and you will continue to fight for as long as it takes.good luck with everything xx

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Just an update.

 

My son seems to be responding well to the medication.

 

It is getting him to sleep by 10.00pm, which is amazing. But I have to give it to him at around 7.30pm for it to work by 10.00pm.

 

The only downside is that he is waking up still tired, probably due to the medication. So I may try to give it to him even sooner, ie. at 7.00pm.

 

I've also noticed that it has reduced his anxiety about leaving the house to get in the taxi.

 

School have said that he was less co-operative in school initially. I think that maybe down to the sedative aspect which has lessened the anxiety and drive to contain himself. So he has refused to do some things. However that seems to have settled somewhat over this last week.

 

We are going to add on another morning, which includes swimming and art - both of which he likes. Then the following week we are going to extend all the days until after dinnertime. He's been told that children from his class bring in their Nintendos and "connect" during dinner break - which he is dying to do.

 

We've still got the handwashing behaviour, but he seems less anxious about contamination. So it is all good at the moment.

 

We did have one tearful discussion where he was saying how much he needs to see his TV programmes and that school makes him miss them. But I think this drive is more OCD connected anxiety because his fears are not logical. He isn't allowed to watch TV during school hours, but he would still prefer to be home than in school. So I tried to explain to him how this school is the final option and that he will have to go there every day just like the other kids.

 

He says that to him school is like a prison. But that is what he says "in the moment". I've seen him in school and he is a happy child. And I explained that IF he did not go to this school that any other school would be more like a prison to him - which it would be. So he got very upset, but then said "okay i'll stop complaining about it." So fingers crossed.

 

Sometimes I wish I could just get inside his head occasionally and experience what is going on in there.

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Hi just popped in to see how things are going, sounds like theya re still ok, i know my son is happy at school but he still moans sometimes and says im not going back there, but like u i have told him this is his last chance , he does admit even if he isnt always happy its still the best he has ever had, i told him sometimes in life its time to accept things and make the best of them, i still think its a fab school, iy sounds like your son is acepting what you say too, which in itself is a major breakthrough i think , keep up the good work xx

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I've pretty much had to do the same.

I've told him that everyone has to do things they don't like and everyone has bad days, BUT that this school is the best one and I compare it with his other school, and he agrees that this school is better for him and that he feels okay most days.

 

After half term he will be going in every day until 1.30pm - so staying lunch every day.

 

The sedative is working with helping him sleep, and on the nights we forget to give it to him we notice the difference!

 

We have a meeting with CAHMS next week where we will be discussing medication and therapy, and his school will carry on that therapy in school as advised by CAHMS.

 

Although the general anxiety is better than it was with the sedative. The OCD behaviour is the same. He has problems with all aspects of going to the toilet, getting in without touching anything, and getting out without touching anything. He wants to strip to go to the loo "incase" he splashes any wee on his shoes etc.

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