Seriously considering/debating meds again!!! :(
Posted 17 June 2012 - 10:51 PM
like i've explained many times on here prob bored up to dead you prob fed up of hearing my moaning about everything going wrong in my eyes when everything looks so rosy good a part time job friends etc but struggling to manage/cope everyday 'not been feeling right' 'myself' for months been going on for ages just been trying to avoid prolong docs and meds as had weight gain side effect with meds before (risperdal/risperdone) increased appetite aswell as depression heightened junk food comfort/emotional eating of a night when parents in bed this panics scares me incase i pile on weight again and can't shift it! really dont want or need it to be honest! ruined all hard work /effort at the gym etc!
i been cutting my hair with scissors as feel stressed bad! feel so restless drained tired with no route to take feel i been left no option as reached mini crisis last night when was o.k good in morning soon spiralled out of control into bad situation like how started in my early teens turned out so bad wrong so want put brakes on before reaches that boiling over point once again as mum says she can't go through that again i made her ill last time and she physically not up dealing with situation due major back surgery in march she said have me arrested this time if threatened her with knife like last time in early teens if became angry aggressive i hated how made me feel inside .... where will it lead ... i've been told 'get a grip' 'pull myself together' end of stop miserable be cheery!
feel like let parents down all hard work built up over not being 'bad person' anymore fell flat on it's face felt so mad angry at myself don't know why i get iin situation it crying wreck/mess state where just want to 'hurt me' all time want punish me in anyway i know how where does this end if i don't seek help from docs? like before .... do i take risk? carry on like i am wiithout meds?
even thinking of being re-referred back to adult mental team/service so must tell you how much i struggling !!! can i avoid facing up much longer? don't know how long i can keep everything up for?! don't want put my family through this again as caused so much heartache pain hurt felt so guilty to blame ...
so do i just accept this road of meds then?! as mum taking anti-depressant herself since my nan 'went' in 2009 as she was her main carer my mum takes ciltropram (40mg) everyday my auntie on anti-dp's also same since nan 'went' auntie takes them as she has OCD bad controls her life everyday though not dxd so alot family members on anti-dps
really confused over what's best??? if at work feel myself 'drifting away somewhere else' if not there can't completely focus give everything??? and feel like everything drifting out of focus etc
Posted 17 June 2012 - 11:24 PM
Posted 18 June 2012 - 08:01 AM
I'm having lots of problems with my son and OCD, and I didn't want to resort to meds either, for all the reasons you probably don't want them. But sometimes you have no choice. If you have found something that does help, then use it. Often the hardest part is finding a medication that actually works.
And it maybe that you don't need to be permanently on meds. After some months you maybe able to come off them slowly and be okay.
Edited by Sally44, 18 June 2012 - 08:01 AM.
Posted 18 June 2012 - 12:36 PM
I dislike meds with a passion - but they can be used for various reasons in positive ways - like to create a space where the anxiety is lesser so you can deal with things - or just to level you out a bit - it doesn't mean you have to take them forever!
To be honest if you feel like you could do with going on meds for a while - then you are probably right - there's no shame in that - it might help you be in a place where it allows you to start to address other things without feeling so anxious/stressed/depressed
Posted 18 June 2012 - 10:19 PM
Posted 18 June 2012 - 10:45 PM
My meds have always kept me at a really low level - if you say that there's a middle ground on mood - then the level I'm on is too far below middle - I feel too low.
Then when I changed them it was hard to start with - but I feel like the level isn't so low - the payoff is that I go up and down a bit - but that is something I want, purely because having some "up" time is better than never having it.
If you are feeling like your mood is really going all over the place - up/down/off to somewhere else - then a short spell of meds could help you find some middle ground again.
Do you know if any med you have had before has been helpful/unhelpful - it can help to know what to try or what not to try (I reacted very badly on certain ones).
Posted 19 June 2012 - 09:06 AM
Posted 19 June 2012 - 10:14 AM
I don't know where you are SmileyK but can't your GP refer you for say, a week in a psychiatric unit where you can have extensive therapy and supervision?
Posted 19 June 2012 - 10:20 AM
Rather counterproductive IMHO...
Posted 19 June 2012 - 10:44 AM
Dark shine- I wrote in first paragraph I said two medications didn't work one was well suited!
Sorry smiley, I forgot you said that. Just trying to help you work out your thoughts a bit
Posted 20 June 2012 - 06:55 PM
Posted 20 June 2012 - 07:00 PM
Posted 20 June 2012 - 07:01 PM
Posted 20 June 2012 - 11:29 PM
Posted 21 June 2012 - 12:42 AM
But somewhere there has to be a start point - maybe right now it is your head warning and showing you that you need help, and maybe meds.
It might not hold all the answers, like me today getting meds to not be sick, but it is a start, and it is better to do something and try, even when there seems no quick fix, and even when it feel impossible...
One step can lead to another smiley, the path may not be straight, you may go wrong ways, but that first step means you can take another, and who knows where that can lead after loads of steps...
I don't know, but sometimes it is "do or die". I am going for doing. How about you? You gonna do or die?
And even though that might sound dramatic - it isn't - cuz in making that decision you commit to the future, and by doing that you have to think about stuff that is hard, and do battles to get what you want and need, and deciding that is step one. I do not know where the rest of our steps will lead, but it is a start.
Posted 21 June 2012 - 05:51 AM
Posted 21 June 2012 - 08:17 AM
Posted 21 June 2012 - 09:25 AM
Take each day as it comes eh?
What is happening on Friday?
Posted 21 June 2012 - 04:16 PM
Posted 24 July 2012 - 04:07 PM
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