How does Asperger's help someone with Borderline Personality Disorder overcome 'emptiness' and depression?

[Jacks0n5]

I have Asperger's Syndrome and I find it really hard to keep contact with a lot of the relationships that I form. However, this one girl (who I am madly in love with) says she loves me and that she wants to have a future with me but sometimes gets these random feelings of what she calls 'emptiness' and I can't help but want to help her. She takes Dialectical Behavioral Therapy but I love her so much and will do anything for her. Unfortunately, this relationship is long distance and I can't be there for her all the time YET; but am moving to University very near her and will see her every week! Can anyone offer me some advice?

Thank you!

[Lyndalou]

Hi Jacks0n5

 

Welcome to the forum. The honest answer is that all you can do is be there for her; let her speak when she wants to speak and let her cry when she wants to cry. Depression can be a destructive force and it can drive people away so just you being there for her in one way or another will be helpful for her. Feelings of emptiness, anger, despair, worthlessness and all the other negative things you can think of form part of the 'Depression' package and as well as being very difficult and isolating for the person experiencing it, other people round about the person can be affected. If you find it difficult to keep in touch with people but want to maintain this relationship, you need to understand that it might not be easy. Having you around might make her feel better but depression is not just being low and something you can shake off so she might not want to talk at times or could even point the finger at you if things aren't going well. You might have to take a few things on the chin and not retaliate if she is accusatory or 'off' at times. This doesn't mean you should be a walkover but you might have to think through your responses because as in AS, when someone is depressed they can take criticism or 'questioning' to heart and might not readily see that someone is trying to help them. Compounding this, there is often a sense of 'failure' in depression (just one of the negatives) too.

 

Maybe you could set times meantime to Skype, talk online or on the phone. That way, it's a bit like an appointment and means you won't be stressing that you might have gone 'too long' before speaking and set times to speak for a short period could be good for your girlfriend because it's very easy to let things slide with depression.

 

Best Wishes

 

Lynda

[Special_talent123]

Heya, I am autistic and at the same time i have the emotional dysregulation borderline type.

So i can say alls u do is do what u doing now. But dont forget sometimes u need a break and look after yourself.

[trekster]

welcome to the forum.