Social Services involving the Police

[Sally44]

We had a review of my sons one night residential stay at his school.

 

I took in photos of how he had cut off his hair and eyelashes. I reminded them, yet again, that during school holidays and on days that he refuses school I do not have anyone suitable to be with him and therefore he is being left home alone. I know he shouldn't be, but I cannot magic someone out of thin air. I have said that he needs to be in school residentially.

 

Social Services, and infact everyone, has known that he is being left alone for some time now. But having submitted the photos seems to have jump started them into action. However Social Services' response has been to phone me and say there will be a meeting with them, with the police present, to notify me of my parental responsibilities.

 

I am so angry about that. The very reason i keep bringing up this lack of provision is because I am carrying out my parental responsibilities.

 

Anyway, I would be interested to know what Social Services and the LA could/should do. I don't think they would take him into care, because that would cost them money. But he needs to be safe too.

 

SS denied me Direct Payments about a year ago saying that "Direct Payments are not so that you can go to work". But that wasn't the point. I had been at home for a year whilst he was unable to attend school. I have a human right to work. My son's SEN and mental health issues mean he needs an adult with him at all times.

 

SS have said that they would not fund any more additional time in school, but would refer it to the LA. I am going to involve the LGO again. And I may need to seek an emergency review of his Statement. Somehow I don't see the LA stepping up and agreeing that he needs to spend more time residentially in school.

 

Any advice or insights would be useful.

[Special_talent123]

I'm so sorry I wish they would just listen to u and sort it out instead of calling the police because u told them and they did nothing it's not your fault

[cathcart3303]

I can sympathise with you Sally.

 

When my son was younger and was refusing to leave the house on occasions I was advised by family solutions I could leave my 10 year old at home alone whilst I took my other son to school or to do shopping. When my son refused school for a month when he was 12 he was left at home for 5 hours in the morning whilst I went to work. I had an appointment list so could not just drop everything. When he refused a year later after 2 months of no support I handed in my notice which was another 2 months. I have not worked since.

 

Social Services became involved only after CAMHS referral. A support worker and Social Worker were still telling me it is my job to get my son to school at the September meeting. This SW is the one whom I may have told you I shouted at because they actually do not listen. He was meant to be undertaking an assessment but was already telling me how I should manage my son with insulting suggestions.

 

His last suggestion was that I can leave my now 15 year old overnight on his own and he will cook himself a meal. Of course SW said: "it is a parenting issue and if he was in foster care he would be back to a normal routine and engaging in education within 2 days although I do not think it is right for him". I know you can voluntarily ask for your child to be put into foster care but for SS to involve the police? I think I would be seeking further advice through a solicitor ASAP. After all if there are going to be allegations made you need to be prepared.

 

As far as education when I point out my son should be receiving one and I should not have to look after him 24/7 with no respite I am just informed 'that's a different department'.

 

I hope you get this sorted soon.

[Shnoing]

I have no personal experiences re. how it is handled in Britain, but Charlotte Moore's book George and Sam contains hints about how she managed to organize a nanny for her two autistic sons. Don't know how his payment is funded, though.

[Sally44]

You can get Direct Payments. I asked for them. I was refused by the SW, who has now told me his manager said "we do not provide direct payments so that Mrs xxxx can go to work." Anyway, will be including that little "gem" as part of my complaint.

 

I know that SS will not remove him because that will actually cost them money. What this is about is trying to intimidate me. However I must admit that I was very upset and emotional - in the shop on my own - trying to hold back tears whilst serving customers.

 

The solution could be full time residential in school. But my son does not want that. What I think he needs is maybe 2 nights in school and a full time 1:1 during school/residential hours to support him. And then some kind of contingency plan whereby I have someone who I can pay to come to the house when he does refuse school and for that provision to be covered by Direct Payments.

 

Obviously I would prefer he was in school. But I must also take into account his anxiety level, which is very high at the moment. And it maybe that he does actually need the day off school.

 

Anyway, will be taking things further myself. I am going to get some advice from network81 - as they were very good when we were going to tribunal. And will take it from there.

 

Will post the process on here, because I know that what we are experiencing is quite common for families with someone on the spectrum.

 

It maybe that we need to call an emergency review? I will get advice on that too.

Edited October 27, 2013 by Sally44