chrismrussell Report post Posted December 3, 2013 Hi - I'm Chris - I'm 45 and I found out a couple of years ago that there is a very good chance I have Asperger's. I am still waiting for formal assessment, (2 years, now) and in that time my confidence has been very up and down. It's currently rock bottom. The situation I'm in is almost laughable, and a consequence of my utter uselessness at making proper choices for myself. On the one hand, it was wonderful, initially, to know that there was an alternative to my lifetime's default self assessment of 'tactless, stupid, self-important and self-centered'. But now the novelty of that revelation has worn off, and I feel utterly confused and trapped. Frustration and depression are again taking over, and I am compelled to seek advice/understanding from elsewhere. Sound familiar to anyone? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted December 6, 2013 Hi chrismrussell, Sorry to hear you're not in a good place at the moment. Do you have any support, i.e. family or friends? Sounds like you're really down about yourself and need a boost to your confidence. What about work/hobbies, any relief there for you? Perhaps you could see if there are any AS adult social groups in your area, which might put you in touch with people in a similar situation? Hope things improve soon for you. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chrismrussell Report post Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) Sorry I didn't reply to your post - having written the post, I promptly forgot where this forum was. Thank you for your concern. It's a month later now, and I have been given my formal diagnosis of Aspergers. I feel much better now. I have finally got the confirmation I have wanted for many, many years. I hear some people have the confidence to use self-diagnosis, but despite my vigorous research, I could never really trust my own judgement: I have spent a lifetime being devastated by the continuous cycle of making regrettable mistakes and then repeating them almost immediately in some slightly altered form. I am intelligent enough and observant enough to have learned many techniques for passing as NT, but now I can be honest with myself and my family about the toll this has taken, and will continue to take if I keep up the pretense. Now I can look back at the last 40-odd years of trying to live up to the high expectations my talents have invited, and begin to cut these destructive ties. It's liberating, sad and hopeful all at the same time. There - I even used a smiley! Edited January 17, 2014 by chrismrussell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted January 18, 2014 Glad you are feeling better and that you have got your diagnosis. Hope that you'll be able to move forward now with more hope and positivity and that things continue to improve for you. All the best. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted January 18, 2014 Hello and welcome Congratulations it's Asperger syndrome. Have you looked into applying for ESA and other benefits (if out of work) so you have some money to live on? Is there any post diagnostic help available in your area or nearby? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
