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Medication to relax me(not in depression sense)


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#1 dekaspace

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Posted 23 October 2014 - 05:17 PM

Up till a family death 10 years ago I was always bright but had somewhat low self esteem, but in part that was because whilst other 21 year olds(I am 31 now) were out clubbing id rather watch a dvd or play video games though did start drinking once a week but only for a few hours i.e 10pm to 3am once a week and spend under £20.

 

After the family death I suffered from depression but I think my social issues intensified it

 

Here is where it gets a little stranger though, at same time of family death I started changing my pattern of living i.e instead of watching a movie or playing a game I had a pc on from waking up to bed time so my concentration was divided between 2 things at once, in the past it was more like I read a book whilst having tv on but apart from the random glance at tv I would read a book.

 

About 6 years ago it got to the point where I can never focus so am depressed, now and again I will have the tv turned off and play a video game on pc and love it, or have computer turned off and love watching tv but 2 at once I feel spaced out.

 

Anyway a few days ago I asked for sleeping tablets as this sort of feelings extend into my sleep i.e I wake a lot and no matter if 8 hours or 18 hours I feel spaced out as my mind races with a huge amount of information.

 

The sleeping pills havent made me sleep less, and I still wake up but I dont toss and turn in bed, and my mind doesnt race when I wake up in middle of night and when I get up I am relaxed.

 

I am thinking that the reason for feeling bad all the time is the huge amount of information rushing through my brain all the time so the pills just filtered it out so I can get a good night sleep(I have always been one for a good night sleep even when younger and invited to all night parties or a 24 hour games night.

 

So if I can take something that filters out everything I can recover from years of depression, tried anti depressants and they did nothing

 

I have never been one to drink or take illegal drugs(or legal highs) because they seem too extreme, if I drink it may relax me a little but then the poison effect numbs my eyes and head and just makes me want to sleep(I get a good nights sleep with drink too) I have tried cannabis but it just chills me out and doesnt actually relax me in that sense and with both drink and non OTC/prescribed drugs I get bad come downs, even a energy drink makes me crash a lot.

 

Also when I am clear headed I never want to eat very often, but when I am crashing even if taking nothing I eat to stay awake which is why I gained about 7 stone in 7 years and yet at times like when I have had a relaxing day I basically starve as I dont feel like I need to eat as I am not crashing.



#2 dotmarsdotcom

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Posted 25 October 2014 - 11:35 PM

have you tried bereavement counselling mate?

 

sounds like you've lost someone that really mattered to you.

 

if so, then that's a biggie.

 

i'm not saying that it's so, I'm just asking :-)

 

all the best



#3 Laddo

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Posted 29 October 2014 - 11:48 AM

So sorry to hear you're going through this dekaspace. You show inner strength by not choosing to go down the whole drink and drugs path which is great! :) I'm not expert in medication and relaxants, but have you considered non-medicated relaxants? Sea-lettuce, turkey and nuts have all been linked to relaxation. Soft, ambient music can also help, as well as a nice warm (but not too hot) bath if you have one. Bereavement counselling, as dotmarsdotcom said, may also be good for you as it sounds like you are experiencing a lot of the physical effects of depression. It may help to clear those racing thoughts a little and put your mind at ease to give you the rest you deserve. I really hope you can find something that helps you



#4 Waterboatman

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Posted 30 October 2014 - 03:55 AM

Both parents dead, cared for the last until her death. After the death of the first my father some twenty years ago I suffered deep black depression, I destroyed my diary after that and have not kept one since. My mother died at home in her own bed some five years ago. Grieve lasts a long time.

At times like these people stay away or are silent, although as an ex carer and still strong I was asked to lift an elderly neighbour.

I hit alcohol, heavy drinking runs in the family. I now annoy by hardly touching the stuff.

Life changes after bereavement, you were quite young, nothing is quite the same again. 

 

To relax, best I know of, is a cup of strong sweet tea. A really good anti depressant as well.

 

Alcohol does not work, I was told that by someone 'who knew', I too now know. Its a truth that one can not accept until one is ready.



#5 dekaspace

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Posted 30 October 2014 - 09:42 PM

have you tried bereavement counselling mate?

 

sounds like you've lost someone that really mattered to you.

 

if so, then that's a biggie.

 

i'm not saying that it's so, I'm just asking :-)

 

all the best

I actually didnt like her that much, didnt hate her but she was always winding me up(not in a nasty way) such as me being single, that I was shy etc plus she had a habit of sob stories to "borrow" money and not pay it back despite being better off than me, if anything it was more the fallout than it as everyone blamed the family and accused us of murder and covering it up, one minute we were evil geniuses for covering our tracks, the next we were stupid and leaving tracks etc, didnt help I come from a benefit claiming family so in peoples minds that meant we were greedy, lazy, thieves any negative stereotypes.

 

Music can be nice but overall it just knocks me out even a few songs.

 

It was more that added to that I took a few years out before uni so I was 25 mixed with loud 18 year olds which made me very anxious and destroyed my self esteem.

 

I see it as just a bad cycle,  I have a bad nights sleep so I feel bad during day so I cannot relax so then I go to bed stressed then cant get a good nights sleep, on the rare chance I feel somewhat relaxed I decide to chill out which means I dnt leave the house which then makes me groggy as if I dont go out even for a few minutes I feel rought.

 

So the first step is good night sleep, then basics like going out, then to play video games or watch a movie



#6 dotmarsdotcom

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Posted 03 November 2014 - 01:46 AM

good post dekaspace.

 

but isn't it the case with relatives like that,

 

eccentric though they are, they have an impact on us.

 

I have a step daughter who has never functioned, and only ever enters into situations where people will function for her (she's very pretty so she uses that),

 

and I've pretty much removed her from my life, but I still for some odd reason love her.

 

I can't explain why I do. I guess I see her weakness, and she hates me cause I do. she hates the fact *know* her.

 

so I get that your relative was abusive to you, but you still care?

 

you have the same caring thing I have.

 

I wish I could turn it off, and just throw them away, but I've found I can't.

 

 found inspiration in last weekends "doctor who" episode,

 

where his side kick abused and mistreated him.

 

he had something she wanted, and the doctor was the only one she knew could solve it, so she tried to use him.

 

eventually he worked out she was using him, and the normal response from NT's would of been.. "go away and never darken my door again",

 

but the doctors response was "I care about you so much, did you think your betraying me would of made me stop caring about you?"

 

i think that's the advantage of being a mature 1000 year old like "doctor who" is? :-)

 

all the best.


Edited by dotmarsdotcom, 03 November 2014 - 01:52 AM.





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