thanks for your replies people.
it's always nice to come on, and get a night where I have things to reply to, so I don't go into deep "lonely mode", like my lighthouse/ vodka night a few days ago.
before I carry on, please no one feel emotionally blackmailed into answering me
(me saying that might not make sense in this post, but in other posts I made a few nights ago, even I can see I became a bit pitiful,
but going back to the original subject of re: school bullying,
my experience of childhood at school, was, I received vastly more emotional bullying than physical bullying.
but I was bought up in an environment of it being "the only things bullies understand is fighting fire with fire."
my recalls of those horrible days, were people non stop picking on me emotionally, but I was not capable of fighting them back on the emotional level so I didn't (or if I did, my attempts were pathetic and failed.)
but if anyone physically bothered me, it did seem the feeling of the time amongst those adults in charge was,
"bullys are cowards, who only ever thump people who they know are too scared to fight back, so the best think you can do, is to fight back."
I indeed did this a few times, and on those rare occasions, the bully always came up to me next day, and asked "to be friends," cause when I decide to use my fists, I don't hold back.
I adhor violence of any form, be it then or now,
but i'd have to say laddo, back in my day, fighting fire with fire, was accepted and "silently encouraged."
but if we move on to my step son's time at school, by then all that had gone (so perhaps that was the time of when you were @ school?)
i'd always take him aside, when I heard of people bothering him physically with violence, and tell him i'd always stand beside him in school disapline meetings, if he had absolutely no choice but to fight back.
but the lads a nice guy & he never listened to my advice. I've never known him fight fire with fire. i'm not sure if that was the school system encouring him to do so, but I guess it might be?
but in his example, the new "school way didn't help". he just got hurt more and more, and when he finally left that school.. guess what, the bullies just moved on to the next kid :-(
I aint no big expert of managing schools bullying issues,
but all I know is on those occasions I had to fight back, it worked. re: the physical bullying. where as my step son's path he chose didn't stop it.
there could be many dynamic's involved that because of my potential aspergers condition- i'm not aware off.
I just know my son felt terribly ashamed, and embaressed about it all. he wanted to appear a man to me, and yet refused to fight. I so respect him for that.
but I feel bad for him that I could not come up any other idea, and the schools way of "not fighting fire with fire" didn't work for him either.
I think sally44 might have a good point.
i'm not sure that "senior mentoring thing" was present during my lad's time at school. It definitely wasn't during my time at school.)
but I can see value in older respected kids, going around and explaining to the younglings that bullying is not acceptable in their own subtle ways.
if it was mentor kids that the young kids respected,
(i.e. they were into their music, or ran social clubs they liked, I could see that serving a good function.)
I think if my daughter's get troubles with my grandkids getting bullied, i'm gonna suggest to them they sends the bairns to a school where such a system is in place.
Edited by dotmarsdotcom, 14 November 2014 - 09:58 PM.