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dekaspace

Dating when you are uncomfortable around others

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I have known some girls in past that I am friends with that all have boyfriends, they all really agreed that I was the sweetest kindest most caring guy they ever met to the point of saying I shouldnt be single as I am someones perfect partner, I suppose its similar to when I work I get bosses praise me of being the best employee they have but when I leave I cant find another job as for both things I cannot sell myself.

 

For years I was more the sort who would blank a girl or even other guys if spoken to and never make a move then after a family death and a few years of starting and leaving college courses I went the opposite way of basically being chatty as I was a little lonely so I noticed if I ever went to a bar and spoke to someone be it male or female they thought I was chatting them up rather than just being chatty(and I can talk for ages and ages and need to be told to shut up)

 

Anyway one I find it impossible to sell myself and secondly the obvious social problems of having aspergers (i am the sort of person who will either have a long silence as I dont know anything to say and if someone started a conversation I would take control of it and make it about me for ages

 

Finally there is the actual uncomfortable bits that when I have had a girlfriend before(1 real one, one I met online who slept in same bed but we didnt do anything) and also from when I had a few one night stands in my life in bed I want to be alone but at same time a little lonely(though even when awake I have a similar thing where I may like cuddling and affection one minute then its suddenly out of my system and I dont want anyone near me) so in bed I just want to have a double bed to myself and large covers so I can lie on side one moment or spread out another without being cramped by another person and sharing covers also each time I have slept in bed with someone its too sweaty for me as I have a clammy body, even in winter I need to sleep in underwear and if neighbours have heating on below me I need to open window so its impossible to sleep with someone.

 

 

So various issues, and they all fit together since I may think its too stressful to deal with affection one time, another I may think I want a mix of being with someone one minute and to have time by myself the next because to me my bedroom is my sanctuary I want to sleep and no one be there so I can snore or toss and turn or go to bathroom without having someone near me and once I awake I then crave company.

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