MiddleEarthNet Report post Posted May 6, 2015 Hi, I'm new to this forum. I'm an adult with a diagnosis of Asperger's. I'm looking for advice what to do in this situation: On Friday, I went to ask a straight forward question to someone about whether they wanted me to do something in which of two possible ways. After over an hour, I've still not had my question answered and this person has proceded to lecture me on lots that I either know already or wasn't relevent. As well as talking over me constantly. Within minutes of returning to my desk, I knew I was heading towards shutdown. I disappeared to the toilets. I managed to hold off shutdown (just) but I was rocking really badly and my speech had almost vanished. At this point, I can't deal with people and can't do my job. I don't like people seeing me like that. And I find it hard to tell someone something is wrong. But it takes hours (exact number varies depending on circumstances) for me to return to normal function. Has anyone got any suggestions what I can do when this happens at work? I don't feel confortable talking to my direct manager and when people see me rocking, I don't know what they think it is, but they all do that really obvious looking away. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted May 6, 2015 hello and welcome Could you ask for a job coach or mentor via the 'access to work' scheme to help you manage your anxiety? http://www.autism.org.uk/news-and-events/news-from-the-nas/nas-responds-to-access-to-work-report.aspx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MiddleEarthNet Report post Posted May 7, 2015 Thanks. Would that person be someone internal to the company or external? Its not clear from the link. I currently have someone coming in once a week to try and help get things at work improved after I've had a series of breakdowns and I'm finding it really difficult to cope. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted May 7, 2015 it's a government backed scheme https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work/overview Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MiddleEarthNet Report post Posted May 8, 2015 Thanks, I'll read through that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Salvador Report post Posted June 7, 2015 middleearth I totally relate to that. I feel totally capable at work even more than capable most of the time, then when the normski's (NT's) start trying to tell me how to do it there way that's when everything starts to go wrong...they tell me what they need to happen, and my brains already worked out the best wy to do it, then they try to tell me how its been done for over 20 years and it goes bad from there...surely they'd be interested in hearing how to inmporove the process?? no they are not! they want it doing it their way even if it means doing it wrong...I hate doing things wrong just because that's how its been done for 20 years who cares...isn't that why the company isn't making profit>? but they don't want to hear it because im the new guy and what do I know??!!!!!! idiots, let them hoave their poxy job and job it jobsworth style and il take my overactive imagination elsewhere... hoping my gf will read the link you put too and translate it to me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Livelife Report post Posted June 8, 2015 This is a typical instance of why so many Autistic people are not able to work, it makes me angry and sad to see so many people trying to work and having obsticals placed in their way by people who claim to be a reflection of normal society and yet they treat people so badly. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Salvador Report post Posted June 8, 2015 Thankyou I agree. I should however have tried to add possible solutions to rocking at work, I don't rock anymore I seem to go into a starring one when I go shutdown. My therapist says I should take a good breath in through my nose and blow out through the mouth for twice as long. Apparently when people get anxiety we breath in more than we breath out that makes anxiety but when we breath out more we relax, and then went on to say not to worry about running out of air because our bodies will breath if we need it. Not sure if it works with everyone or at work but it does help a little when I go to busy places Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Livelife Report post Posted June 8, 2015 Thankyou I agree. I should however have tried to add possible solutions to rocking at work, I don't rock anymore I seem to go into a starring one when I go shutdown. My therapist says I should take a good breath in through my nose and blow out through the mouth for twice as long. Apparently when people get anxiety we breath in more than we breath out that makes anxiety but when we breath out more we relax, and then went on to say not to worry about running out of air because our bodies will breath if we need it. Not sure if it works with everyone or at work but it does help a little when I go to busy places Your right in what you say about breathing you won't run out of air and breathing techniques do help and can improve things a great deal. We should all do what we can to make our lives better and improve its quality for ourselves and other people that in my opinion is a natural process for everybody. Where things become problematic is when you say you have tried to add possible solutions to rocking at work. There is nothing wrong in doing this if you feel it is for your benefit and your needs, where it becomes a problem is if it's because of the reactions of other people and their reactions to you. As we all know rocking while it may not be understood by some people is a comfort and help to those on the spectrum so being forced to stop because NT doesnt like it is not right in my opinion. They need to except us for how we are and by trying to not do things change our behaviour puts additional pressure on just getting through the day something we don't need life's hard enough as it is. It's not my words but a good point made by another member here, if a person was blind or deaf would an NT say this person must be able to see or hear. No they wouldn't because they know they have that disability and it can't be changed, however because we may have a coping mechanism and have Autism it's not exceptable to rock or do whatever it is gives somebody comfort. They give tolerance to some people but not us that is discriminatory, as long as you or anyone else wants to do something for themselves then there can be no better reason. But when you feel forced into doing something told to modify your behaviour for another reason and your autistic and struggling to cope with situations then in my opinion that is wrong. It's discrimination because of autistic traits. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Salvador Report post Posted June 8, 2015 Totally right liveife. As mentioned before in my posts, I am frustrated having lived that life being forced to conform. Its horrible, accurate point about blindness I've used similar before...or if someone had a wheelchair would the doctor say 'jist hop up here a sec' no absolutly not. Just I have suffered somewhat searching for other ways to get my diagnosis without childhood witness, and have also suffered at the hands of those you describe, making us feel we have to conform. My advice wasn't to cease rocking, just advice to keep calm when the shutdown mode is looming Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Livelife Report post Posted June 8, 2015 It's very difficult to keep calm when you feel your heading towards a meltdown especially when your not in familiar surroundings or there are people around that you know are not going to be sympathetic towards you. I don't like confrontation but since I was dismissed from my job due to incapacity then trying to fit in made no difference and I felt much worse and understood less of what was going on around me. I think what we need to learn is that all we can be is ourself and others will just have to get used to that fact. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MiddleEarthNet Report post Posted June 10, 2015 I've tried the breathing techniques but they don't work for me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Salvador Report post Posted June 10, 2015 I know they don't always work, especially once its gone past the point of no return. My therapist says I should try to practice the breathing if I have enough foresight to be preventitive. I think livelife was right saying you shouldn't try to hide it, if you want to rock rock, these days I just seem to stare in shutdown and bite my jaw. I also have propanolol for PRN. Do you have any PRN meds? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MiddleEarthNet Report post Posted June 10, 2015 I tend to hide my rocking because I don't want people seeing me like that. I don't know how to explain why I don't want people to see. I don't understand what PRN means but I don't take any medication. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Salvador Report post Posted June 10, 2015 Sorry PRN is a Latin term accronym for 'as and when' they use it in medical profession to describe 'chill pills' like propanolol and diazepam as I have. I know what you mean about trying to hide it, totally. I have always tried to hide all my traits. Maybe I was in denial maybe I was ashamed of myself im not sure. I am becoming more comfortable now and beleive we shouldn't have to hide it. I think its about understanding that people like us have just right in society as the uproars about gay marriage! Do you do the mind-tricks on yourself? I have a place in my mind that I go when shutdown comes and just stare. The kids think its weird but they see the funny side. If only everyone were accepting.... Its been suggested im bitter about the way NTs make us feel we have to attempt to be something we're not Bit like Micheal Jackson in the 80's bleaching his skin to try to be societies normal celebrity...white So not cool. Just try to be comfortable in ourselves. Stay strong y'all Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted June 10, 2015 i have a PRN which i use when im panicking to a trigger song or cant sleep. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MiddleEarthNet Report post Posted June 11, 2015 Thank you for explaining what PRN means. I don't have anything I can take. For me, shutdown is when I go totally dead to everything. I've explained it to the others as if you have a computer that is powered up and you pull the power cable out. Everything ceases to work. But it has the potential to work if you reconnect the power. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Salvador Report post Posted June 11, 2015 Is that nothing that you 'can' take or nothing been made available to you? If you are able, or take someone with you to speak to your gp, you can explain your requirement to stay calm at work Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MiddleEarthNet Report post Posted June 11, 2015 Sorry, I meant nothing has been made available to me. But because of allergies, it could also mean that I 'can' take. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Salvador Report post Posted June 11, 2015 Well according to forum rules im not allowed to influence what meds you take. However I'm sure im allowed to suggest you discuss it with your gp If you are trying to stay in work you might suggest a little help? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted June 11, 2015 I looked up the generic name of my meds to try and find a suitable type. Eg liquid preperations have benzoate in them and tablets have milk but orodispersives ie melt in the mouth meds I can take. I've also tried supplemants to help with pain anxiety etc. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Salvador Report post Posted June 11, 2015 I have I have amyltriptiline daily, and my prn consists of beta-blockers for physical symptoms and diazepam when its gets bad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Livelife Report post Posted June 11, 2015 It's interesting reading the posts on medication because so far my doctor has been reluctant to put me on medication for the moments when I may need to relax if I'm feeling particularly stressed and a meltdown is a possibility. I was on antidepressants for years before my diagnosis when they thought I had depression, even though I took them regularly they didn't do much to help if anything it was more dependant on the situation I was in as to how my moods stress and meltdowns happened. How do those of you that take these medications feel as to their effectiveness would you say they are of great benefits to you or have limited success or does it depend on the situation you find yourself is and how bad a particular meltdown happens to be. I'd be interested to hear any opinions as to how they work for people it may be worth speaking to my doctor again about this form of medication and its advantages. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted June 11, 2015 My prn.. Can calm me down after a panic attack. Do your meds help? Live life, Some antidepressants and other meds have the opposite effect on autistics to expected. I was hyper on tranquillisers angry I'm anti depressants and anxious on benzodiazapenes. Try a google scholar search on (name of medication) and autism. Eg 'diazepam and autism' to see the latest research on how certain meds help with anxiety etc. I can only take tramadol during the day because I get nightmares if taken at night. Cocodamol I can take at night but is weaker than tramadol. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Salvador Report post Posted June 11, 2015 Ok so the amyltrpitiline I take talent daily to calm my mood so im less prone to anxiety attacks and it also stops me thinking 'too much' say if im winding myself uo because I have something stuck in my head. They seem to have a positive effect but I am aware they are not 100% perfect. The beta -blockers I have as first line prn, basically if I know im going to a steesful like the supermarket then I take 20mg propanolol. This calms my heart rate which is often the first stage of a stress attack. They are helpful when taken in advance of the situation but are not enough if I've got so worked up that I can't listen to anything. Perhaps some of it also is phycosematic, 'if I think its working then il be ok'... However if things get too far then I have diazepam as the last resort. They are regualted by my gf and if im feeling anxiety I can ask her or if bad enough she makes me take it. They are only 2mg doses but they seem to do the trick and save upsetting those around me. They work fine but are strongly regualted by doctors and you have to prove responsiblity to use them or have a cater who administers them. All together they are doing ok but not 100%. It has been suggested that antipsychotic meds like ability can make up extra percentage of 'bizarre unexplained outbursts' and paranoia.. I'm not totally convinced in ability though, sudden death syndome is on the side effects list. I am also interest to hear successes or failures with different medication approaches Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Livelife Report post Posted June 11, 2015 My prn.. Can calm me down after a panic attack. Do your meds help? Live life, Some antidepressants and other meds have the opposite effect on autistics to expected. I was hyper on tranquillisers angry I'm anti depressants and anxious on benzodiazapenes. Try a google scholar search on (name of medication) and autism. Eg 'diazepam and autism' to see the latest research on how certain meds help with anxiety etc. I can only take tramadol during the day because I get nightmares if taken at night. Cocodamol I can take at night but is weaker than tramadol. Thanks for that information will google that sounds like it could be very helpful in what I'm looking for right now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Salvador Report post Posted June 12, 2015 My prn.. Can calm me down after a panic attack. Do your meds help? Live life, Some antidepressants and other meds have the opposite effect on autistics to expected. I was hyper on tranquillisers angry I'm anti depressants and anxious on benzodiazapenes. Try a google scholar search on (name of medication) and autism. Eg 'diazepam and autism' to see the latest research on how certain meds help with anxiety etc. I can only take tramadol during the day because I get nightmares if taken at night. Cocodamol I can take at night but is weaker than tramadol. ok so ive found this http://europepmc.org/abstract/med/2826308 basically talking about paradoxical effects in children, they had a 10mg dose and presumeably suffered symptoms of withdrawl or dependency on this drug as it is famed to have. I only use 2mg doses in extreme situations, im 35 and 6ft 14 stone. the symptoms discussed in this link are probably caused by overdoseage when I take mine I just simmer down and my gf notices when its kicked in, even though I am not aware of it having any effect. the paradoxical effects only happen if ive taken them days in a row and that was at 2mg. they should only be used when ive 'gone past the point of no return' and my gf administers them Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Livelife Report post Posted June 12, 2015 I was reading an article on the placebo effect of giving medication to people that in effect doesn't do anything at all and yet there is still a remarkable improvement in there condition. The very fact that they believe they are receiving treatment is enough to promote healing presumably by the power of the mind alone. I wonder what the effect would be for someone with autism being given a medication that was only a placebo but told that it was a very effective drug. There is proof that it works so if somebody with autism was given this and there was an improvement then the power of belief can overcoming conditions that we only though we're helped by drugs. I haven't seen myself a specific study on people with autism but that doesn't mean that there hasnt been one just that I haven't seen it. Since the topic was being discussed I wondered what people's opinions are on the placebo effect. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
