Hello

[Livelife]

Hello Everybody I was diagnosed with Aspergers two years ago, I've had numerous problems associated with Autism throughout my life and the diagnosis has had mixed results for me.

I'd like to meet new people here as I don't have any friends due to the lack of a social life that i simply find too difficult and distressing to maintain.

I'm not working as my job ended due to incapacity after I was diagnosed and I've spent a lot of my time with councillors and trying to find a place within society that I can be excepted.

[Mihaela]

Hello, Livelife, and welcome!

 

I too have had numerous autism-related problems throughout my life - and they continue. It was only after my mother's death that I began to realise what the cause of my problems could be, and I was only diagnosed about six months ago. I'm determined that the diagnosis will work in my favour for I've suffered more than enough.

Same here about friends. I have online friends and a few I'm in contact with in real life, but I don't have what others would call a 'social life'. I find others on the spectrum much less stressful than having to deal with neurotypical people - who I simply can't understand. I don't get lonely and never get bored for I like my own company and have so many interests, but I would like to meet more people like ourselves.

Only you know what your capabilities are, and having a diagnosis has helped to explain my lifelong executive dysfunction and inability to cope with money or the the madness of the NT world.

[Livelife]

H , Livelife, and welcome!

 

I too have had numerous autism-related problems throughout my life - and they continue. It was only after my mother's death that I began to realise what the cause of my problems could be, and I was only diagnosed about six months ago. I'm determined that the diagnosis will work in my favour for I've suffered more than enough.

Same here about friends. I have online friends and a few I'm in contact with in real life, but I don't have what others would call a 'social life'. I find others on the spectrum much less stressful than having to deal with neurotypical people - who I simply can't understand. I don't get lonely and never get bored for I like my own company and have so many interests, but I would like to meet more people like ourselves.

Only you know what your capabilities are, and having a diagnosis has helped to explain my lifelong executive dysfunction and inability to cope with money or the the madness of the NT world.

I experience executive dysfunction I believe I meet the criteria, I struggle to manage money and prioritize life in an effect way there always seems to be issues of various degrees.

I just dont belong in the NT world id like to but people dont tolerate my needs so im always isolated which makes my anxiety and depression even worse.

I feel more comfortable with other people like myself its more natural although initial meetings can be a challenge for me.

Ive been away from online communitys for awhile but feel ready to make some friends here and move forward and make the most of life as you already said.

[trekster]

Hi and welcome I run cinema a and pub groups in bath

[Mihaela]

I just dont belong in the NT world id like to but people dont tolerate my needs so im always isolated which makes my anxiety and depression even worse.

I don't belong in it either, never did, never will, and I wouldn't want to - for many reasons. I don't want to be like them.

Hypocrisy, selfishness, greed, bullying, intolerance, etc. seem to be the hallmarks of the chaotic NT world. I can't fathom why any caring, thinking person would want to be part of all that.

[Livelife]

I don't belong in it either, never did, never will, and I wouldn't want to - for many reasons. I don't want to be like them.

Hypocrisy, selfishness, greed, bullying, intolerance, etc. seem to be the hallmarks of the chaotic NT world. I can't fathom why any caring, thinking person would want to be part of all that.

That's exactly how I feel about the NT world, we are discussed as having special needs and needing adaptions to fit into society but why do I want to be apart of that world for all the reasons you have said.

Autistic people are mostly very kind caring people and because of a different way of thinking we are marginalised for not doing all the things you said, it is a crazy world but sometimes I do think that it should be them that try to adapt to our private any of thinking and that the world would be a much better place if they did.

[Livelife]

Don't know what happened there it should have been way of thinking not private any on the last line, the spell checker I suppose.

[Mr Salvador]

 

I also struggle with these

[Mr Salvador]

I don't belong in it either, never did, never will, and I wouldn't want to - for many reasons. I don't want to be like them.

Hypocrisy, selfishness, greed, bullying, intolerance, etc. seem to be the hallmarks of the chaotic NT world. I can't fathom why any caring, thinking person would want to be part of all that.

Too true

[Livelife]

I also think that we admit we struggle in areas of the NT world but there are many so say NTs that equally struggle, not because they are autistic but because everything is so complicated and confusing.

They spend their lives trying to do so many things be different things to many people and complete targets and trying to meet expectations that are unrealistic.

Depression is a major problem in society now and with the NTs trying to do what is basically impossible in modern life styles that's the price they pay for trying to work within an unworkable system.

Maybe I'm wrong, but it makes sense to me.

[trekster]

Does to me as we'll.

[Livelife]

I think that a lot of NTs won't admit to themselves or others when they struggling they try to divert attention to the truth of matters sometimes.

Autistic people are more open about their problems how they see things and stating their opinions, maybe that's what some people don't like we can be too honest meaning they need to deal with things they would rather hide.

I'm often told I shouldn't have said something because it's not what you should say, but as long as it's an honest opinion and the truth why not, as soon as I try to calculate what should be said and when things deteriate rapidly and I don't know what to say or if it's appropriate.

I then end up saying even less than I would if I as just saying what I thought which isn't much when a lot of people are around anyway so there is little or no purpose in me doing anything if I can't speak just in case I upset an NT with a fact that is only the truth anyway.

[Livelife]

I said divert attention to the truth, I meant divert attention from the truth, sorry all

[trekster]

Sounds unfortunately familiar

[Livelife]

Since I joined this site I'm seeing that I'm not alone in how I think, which is a comfort knowing it's not just me but it would be nice if none of us needed to experience it but unfortunately I can't see that ever happening in society.

[Mr Salvador]

I think that a lot of NTs won't admit to themselves or others when they struggling they try to divert attention to the truth of matters sometimes.

Autistic people are more open about their problems how they see things and stating their opinions, maybe that's what some people don't like we can be too honest meaning they need to deal with things they would rather hide.

I'm often told I shouldn't have said something because it's not what you should say, but as long as it's an honest opinion and the truth why not, as soon as I try to calculate what should be said and when things deteriate rapidly and I don't know what to say or if it's appropriate.

I then end up saying even less than I would if I as just saying what I thought which isn't much when a lot of people are around anyway so there is little or no purpose in me doing anything if I can't speak just in case I upset an NT with a fact that is only the truth anyway.

 

i get in trouble for this all the time. we do speak our minds and it does get taken the wrong way, but I think as with all predjudice the problem is with the mind who is prejudice, not with us. if they were treating us different for being black there would be uproar!

 

I ask a lot of questions about things and upset people in trying to understand

[Mr Salvador]

Since I joined this site I'm seeing that I'm not alone in how I think, which is a comfort knowing it's not just me but it would be nice if none of us needed to experience it but unfortunately I can't see that ever happening in society.

 

this is the effect I am feeling from this site. I love the feeling now that im not the only one, and that there are others out there who feel the same. I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, but if others do have ASD's then I would definitely recommend this site. I strongly suggest honest, open-ness and selfless sharing for the benefit of 'our group'

[Livelife]

i get in trouble for this all the time. we do speak our minds and it does get taken the wrong way, but I think as with all predjudice the problem is with the mind who is prejudice, not with us. if they were treating us different for being black there would be uproar!

 

I ask a lot of questions about things and upset people in trying to understand

I'm starting to consider the possibility of not caring so much but I don't mean that in a nasty or vindictive way. I want to be understood and realise that others feel the same as me. The reasoning is that feeling bad about stating an opinion or upsetting somebody's fragile ego is causing me a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety, I do not intend to offend anyone or have any thoughts about harming anyone it's just opinions based on my life and experience.

Not being concerned about another's opinion sounds not particularly good but in doing so I am becoming more isolated have less input and spend more time on my own. Being alone is something I enjoy but when it stops you working and being able to support yourself through the inability to comply with someone else's view of standards then that is not fair or morally right.

I am looking at returning to work if possible but if your care about these people's views and try to change my nature and ability so then it won't work I will struggle to function, this has been proved many times.

I would need to be me and if others don't like that or want me around if an employer decides to employ me then that would be their problems and I should try not to recriminate myself for being there and not care about what they feel so I can work.

Just a thought .

[Mr Salvador]

too true. Why should we care. I just want to get sacked for out of turn behaviour.

 

Usually this happens

 

I want to go back to work and be accepted as an aspie. Perhaps it will happen someday. I hear there are places to help autistic people back to work and grants for special adaptations that may be needed. There's a topic here with a link, if you can't find it let me know

[Livelife]

too true. Why should we care. I just want to get sacked for out of turn behaviour.

Usually this happens

I want to go back to work and be accepted as an aspie. Perhaps it will happen someday. I hear there are places to help autistic people back to work and grants for special adaptations that may be needed. There's a topic here with a link, if you can't find it let me know

I think I can remember seeing that somewhere before will have a look and see if I can locate it.

I am getting support in helping me find work but what they can't do is change the opinions of other workers who chose to discriminate against us, it's not uniquely directed at us it's these same people who can be racist and any other kind of bigotry that's encountered at least in the majority of people who have been outspoken against me.

Getting adaptions from a reasonable employer is one challenge convincing other workers to except you as just another employee is another.

I don't think a lot is likely to change in the future until human nature changes until the vast majority of people adopt an understanding nature leaving just a very few who carry on the culture we see today.

Given the speed of cultural changes we are not going to see it happen in our lifetime unfortunately.

[Mihaela]

it's not uniquely directed at us it's these same people who can be racist and any other kind of bigotry that's encountered at least in the majority of people who have been outspoken against me.

 

I agree. It's a particular type of NT personality that takes pleasure in bigotry, and there are a lot of them about. They are the ones with the problems. They often have personality disorders - especially narcissistic, histrionic & sociopathic/psychopathic. They parasitically 'feed' off anyone who they feel is inferior or weaker than themselves or who is vulnerable to manipulation. Without a constant supply of satisfaction gained from the suffering of their victims they are empty and lost.

Edited June 12, 2015 by Mihaela

[Mr Salvador]

too true. Why should we care. I just want to get sacked for out of turn behaviour.

 

Usually this happens

 

I want to go back to work and be accepted as an aspie. Perhaps it will happen someday. I hear there are places to help autistic people back to work and grants for special adaptations that may be needed. There's a topic here with a link, if you can't find it let me know

oops, I said want to get sacked, I meant don't want to get sacked for behaviour

[trekster]

Easily done to get opposites muddled up for me it's a dyslexic trait.

[Livelife]

oops, I said want to get sacked, I meant don't want to get sacked for behaviour

I find I do that as well say things that don't explain what I actually meant to say, I've had to correct myself a couple of times in my posts too,

[Mr Salvador]

I beleive this might be a suitable time to use the term 'LOL'

 

Why is it that say the opposites sometimes? Is that dyslexia?

[Livelife]

I beleive this might be a suitable time to use the term 'LOL'

Why is it that say the opposites sometimes? Is that dyslexia?

I've suspected that I may have many associated conditions with Aspergers I seem to fit into the criteria of many different problems.

Best thing is try not to think about it too much you end up coming back to the same place anyway. I've thought about trying to get a diagnosis but with the problems of getting my autistic diagnosis I don't think I feel able to go through that process again at least at the moment.

[trekster]

Some of my disabilities ive needed formal confirmation in order to get help and support, others like my OCD i havent im just aware of my spending and hoarding habits.

 

Yes dyslexia can include getting opposites muddled up.

[Livelife]

Some of my disabilities ive needed formal confirmation in order to get help and support, others like my OCD i havent im just aware of my spending and hoarding habits.

 

Yes dyslexia can include getting opposites muddled up.

At the moment I am looking at going back into work, there may come a point in my life that I have to except nobody will employ me but for the moment at least I'm going to try.

If I need the assessment to either get benefits or means of support then I will have to see my doctor about it, I find it so challenging to go through all the scrutiny just to get benefit so unless I am forced to and have no choice personally I will try to support myself without support if I can.

[trekster]

Livelife i have private messaged you a contact number and email adress who i hope can help you.

[georgiapiano]

I don't belong in it either, never did, never will, and I wouldn't want to - for many reasons. I don't want to be like them.

Hypocrisy, selfishness, greed, bullying, intolerance, etc. seem to be the hallmarks of the chaotic NT world. I can't fathom why any caring, thinking person would want to be part of all that.

 

Oh my goodness - you sound exactly like me! Have I met a soulmate???