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Fuming again over online bullying I always get (as people do not understand autistic brains)

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I was rejected for a college course as the lecturer at interview misread my tone of voice and facial expressions as lack of interest(also I had a heavy cold and could barely breahe) and gave us 15 minutes to write something with 2 paragraphs, and concusion and i got confused and said it wasnt good enough, this is despite me going to university before, working in radio and tv, having articles posted in local papers and photos and winning awards.

 

That and the lecturer was so disorganised they did not realise my experience, my disabilities etc.

 

I asked for advice about complaining online and explained the situatiion and most people called me nasty things like narciassist and I expect preferential treatment due to disabilty(and using that as a way to talk down about disability) when I meant reasonable adjustment, people accusing me of trolling, or saying I was acting like a immature child not getting my way as I was getting irate at the nasty comments

 

Every time I tried describing my disability they accused me of whinging, I had the token person come on and mention how they have kids with autism who are sucessful and therefore I was blaming my failure on my disability.

 

Or that when people said I must of had a bad portfolio I mentioned it was good enough to win awards and good enough for uni to then be accused of thinking I was better than others! and that I expected to just walk onto course.

 

I just cant win, whatever I say will be broken down into some sort of way to insult me and say I am not good enough which they really believed was them giving me advice and me not listening.

 

Just upset and want some discussion here.

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sorry to hear this. its never good when they leave us with the no win scenario!

 

they say they can make special adaptions but then tell us we're using our ASD as an excuse and then in fact take away our special adaptions of wither the physical or in mental sense, they take away the things that gave us balance so that they can then find advantage to themselves.

 

its so not cool, but they think they are. making laughs at our expense isn't what id call cool

 

its good to get it off your chest here. ive found people here to be most kind and generous with help and advice

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Have you tried contacting the disability department of your college about the experiences with the lecturer?

 

Unless you let the college disability department and lecturer know about your disabilities and how they affect you; then they're unable to provide reasonable adjustments.

 

As for the online forum bullying try contacting a moderator explaining autism isn't a '1 size fits all' disability and ask them to help you. Better still come here instead of this other unfriendly forum.

 

Hope you manage to find a college that understands your needs. I struggled last year to get 1 module passed and nearly had a breakdown or worse because I couldn't get my university to understand my needs. I refuse to allow 1 person to be involved in my support needs but the rest are great. In fact I've just passed my 2nd year of a masters degree. I've very little family support but have managed to find a way through.

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This is an all to familiar series of events that people experience who are on the spectrum and I can understand your frustration and need to express your anger towards the situation.

Trekster ideals seemed a very good place to start don't let them prevent you achieving your ambitions though this will not be an easy task, there is little you can do other than be determined not to let their petty comments and discrimination stop you.

This should never be allowed to be exceptable but people are by nature that way and all we can do is maintain our resolve when faced with this behaviour.

I'm sure we will all listen as and when you need to talk about this and offer whatever support we can, it's a fantastic site the world may be cruel and uncaring but you know you will always have understanding people here willing to do what they can.

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I filled in their form and got an email asking about my disability and contacted them as went to same college in past and they said they would pass the information on and to be fair its more likely the lecturer just didnt pay attention as they seemed to rush me out in under 5 minutes and blank everything I said and grumbled all the way through.

 

They just seemed unprofessional but I remember last time I was there the same lecturer was rude to me and has a reputation of just getting into arguments.

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The system is flawed in many ways and we are still fighting the system...

 

My gf works in mental health and doing nursing course and she's writing about the stuff at the forefront of equality for people with diasabilities. A lot of it is funding based and or govt infuenced and they know that they should be making 'reasonable adjustments' for us but making work in a practical environment is down the the individuals to impliment.

 

If you're NT lecturer is looking to squabble about it, go over their head. To your department head?

 

You may have other lecturers with disabilities who may be able to sympathise and give you information specific to your college or about how to deal with that particular person.

 

There is much impatience and bigotry in the world. Its up to us to make the most of our rights and push for your dreams. Try to find someone there who can be 'on side' so you have a positive influence on your mood when things like this happen.

 

In a strange way, its like the world is trying to stop us being amazing. I think therefore its up to us to not let them win

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The system is flawed in many ways and we are still fighting the system...

My gf works in mental health and doing nursing course and she's writing about the stuff at the forefront of equality for people with diasabilities. A lot of it is funding based and or govt infuenced and they know that they should be making 'reasonable adjustments' for us but making work in a practical environment is down the the individuals to impliment.

If you're NT lecturer is looking to squabble about it, go over their head. To your department head?

You may have other lecturers with disabilities who may be able to sympathise and give you information specific to your college or about how to deal with that particular person.

There is much impatience and bigotry in the world. Its up to us to make the most of our rights and push for your dreams. Try to find someone there who can be 'on side' so you have a positive influence on your mood when things like this happen.

In a strange way, its like the world is trying to stop us being amazing. I think therefore its up to us to not let them win

I agree we do have to prevent them from restricting access to education because of the discrimination it must be terribly frustrating to be in this situation.

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Another person on the same website has attacked me now saying I am blaming other people for my own faults and that I am arrogant, egocentric, Narcissitic, argumentative troublemaker etc.

 

They cannot understand that they have been giving worst case scenarios to me such as saying that if I did not get on its more likely the lecturer was right and I was just not good enough, and when I defend myself get called high maintenance, so I defend myself more and get accused of rants and attacking THEM.

 

So like I said in my original post no matter what I say they see me as a bad person!

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I filled in their form and got an email asking about my disability and contacted them as went to same college in past and they said they would pass the information on and to be fair its more likely the lecturer just didnt pay attention as they seemed to rush me out in under 5 minutes and blank everything I said and grumbled all the way through.

 

They just seemed unprofessional but I remember last time I was there the same lecturer was rude to me and has a reputation of just getting into arguments.

 

Thanks for your response, can you have a different lecturer? Or take a support worker with you to make sure your needs are met?

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Another person on the same website has attacked me now saying I am blaming other people for my own faults and that I am arrogant, egocentric, Narcissitic, argumentative troublemaker etc.

 

They cannot understand that they have been giving worst case scenarios to me such as saying that if I did not get on its more likely the lecturer was right and I was just not good enough, and when I defend myself get called high maintenance, so I defend myself more and get accused of rants and attacking THEM.

 

So like I said in my original post no matter what I say they see me as a bad person!

 

Sounds like that forum isnt for you unless you can get the moderator to step in.

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I know just what you're going through, Dekaspace. Whichever way we turn, it seems we just can't win. What we need is active support from others. In situations like this we need people to speak up for us - whether on the spectrum or not or whether professional advocates or not, makes little difference. As long as we're fighting alone we'll very likely fail, for our persecutors will always twist things to make it appear that we're in the wrong.

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Another person on the same website has attacked me now saying I am blaming other people for my own faults and that I am arrogant, egocentric, Narcissitic, argumentative troublemaker etc.

 

They cannot understand that they have been giving worst case scenarios to me such as saying that if I did not get on its more likely the lecturer was right and I was just not good enough, and when I defend myself get called high maintenance, so I defend myself more and get accused of rants and attacking THEM.

 

So like I said in my original post no matter what I say they see me as a bad person!

 

so which website is this? I wouldn't frequent a place with needless abuse. I joined this iste because its for people on the spectrum to be honest and talk openly where some other sites have too many NT's on putting their bit in.

 

unfortunately sometimes they just want to get into dispute. someone said it earlier about 'it takes a special type of NT to enjoy causing misery to others' that you mihaela?

 

concentrate on your targets and goals and be savage with cutting out other people in your life that don't help you toward your goals.

 

sounds like people you don't need to be listening to filling your head with rubbish just to psych you out, thinking that the worse you do the better they will ....

 

that's 'that type of person' again

 

do they not call that the beginnings of 'sociopathy?'

 

totally agree with you mihaela. I think that this is the mist of confusion bread by the old saying about 'the greatest ever trick...'

 

"As long as we're fighting alone we'll very likely fail, for our persecutors will always twist things to make it appear that we're in the wrong."

 

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Another person on the same website has attacked me now saying I am blaming other people for my own faults and that I am arrogant, egocentric, Narcissitic, argumentative troublemaker etc.

 

They cannot understand that they have been giving worst case scenarios to me such as saying that if I did not get on its more likely the lecturer was right and I was just not good enough, and when I defend myself get called high maintenance, so I defend myself more and get accused of rants and attacking THEM.

 

So like I said in my original post no matter what I say they see me as a bad person!

The thing to keep in the forefront of your mind is that those people who attack others usually have an inferior view of themselves and lack self confidence. They fear and what most people fear they will attack, because you know your own mind and seem confident that can be quite intimidating to some people.

Also they do this anonymously hiding behind a computer screen if they were in the real world they would most probably not say the things they do because they wouldn't have the courage to do so.

Typically this is the traits of a bully and the thing that will have the greatest impact is to ignore them and continue with your life irrespective of what they do.

This can be difficult but letting them see they are having no effect will infuriate them because they know their intimidation isn't working and they are not hurting you the way they hoped they would.

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I know just what you're going through, Dekaspace. Whichever way we turn, it seems we just can't win. What we need is active support from others. In situations like this we need people to speak up for us - whether on the spectrum or not or whether professional advocates or not, makes little difference. As long as we're fighting alone we'll very likely fail, for our persecutors will always twist things to make it appear that we're in the wrong.

 

I've gotten used to the no win situation it will always be the same when people twist what is said to suit their own agenda.

Personally I have had terrible times in this situation but when your as low as you can get something changes and you feel that nothing matters anymore. This is when you begin not to let what they say or do effect you so much. There will always be an element of resentment but that's the way things are.

There are a lot of people who do support us lime you said in your thread we need to get together to create more awarmess and I think its possible to do.

Its easy to feel as if we will fail things can seem so difficult at times that it looks that way no matter how positive you try to be.

I don't intend to fail i am going to live my life my way, that's not failing its living in spite of everything others put us through

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Livelife said: "I don't intend to fail i am going to live my life my way, that's not failing its living in spite of everything others put us through"

 

years of bullying has built up my resilience and determination like it has to you Livelife.

 

i told someone im autistic and they asked me if i had something to kill myself with, they didnt believe in 'american so called syndromes' and were insisting my lack of communication was something i had consciously chosen to do, i havent seen them since, we went to college a long time ago but it still hurts the way he treated me. ive had to block people on social media sites because their behaviour was so offensive 1 person is a relative.

 

As sia would say in their song "im bulletproof nothing to loose. fire away fire away, ricochet you take your aim, fire away fire away, you shoot me down but i wont fall, i am titanium".

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Livelife said: "I don't intend to fail i am going to live my life my way, that's not failing its living in spite of everything others put us through"

 

years of bullying has built up my resilience and determination like it has to you Livelife.

 

i told someone im autistic and they asked me if i had something to kill myself with, they didnt believe in 'american so called syndromes' and were insisting my lack of communication was something i had consciously chosen to do, i havent seen them since, we went to college a long time ago but it still hurts the way he treated me. ive had to block people on social media sites because their behaviour was so offensive 1 person is a relative.

 

As sia would say in their song "im bulletproof nothing to loose. fire away fire away, ricochet you take your aim, fire away fire away, you shoot me down but i wont fall, i am titanium".

 

that reminds me of about 5 years ago, my flatmates from when I was 18(15 years ago now 10 years from then) added me on facebook and started attacking me calling me freak and weirdo and accusing me of things they thought I did when living with them.

 

I went through their chat history and found they were actually boasting online about finding me on facebook and making fun on me and how I was CLINGY with them(I hated them but I was polite and tried to become friends and they saw it as clingy) Put it this way when I lived with them they stole from me including a 1 week old phone with £50 credit, walked on the balcony to get into room through window and stole money and dvds(back when they were like £15 each) stole my wallet with £100 in and threw my coat out window into river below, one of them set fire to the cooker as he used a chip pan and they all blamed me so I was fined for it, one time they called me from flat upstairs and when I looked out window threw a bucket of urine over me, stole my 18th birthday presents(including a cupboard of alcohol) took my food out of fridge(and ignored theirs) and threw it over the walls and over me(and my brand new clothes and the stains never came out)

 

So 10 years later they still acted the same, and the girl was a single mum working a minimum wage job boasting how fantastic her life is(the job she has now I had when I was 21 and it was easy to get into then) she boasts about how she is a strong woman as she is single when I know some of her exes and all call her names of a female dog!(and looking on their facebook even her recent exes say that)

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i told someone im autistic and they asked me if i had something to kill myself with, they didnt believe in 'american so called syndromes' and were insisting my lack of communication was something i had consciously chosen to do, I

 

This is exactly the sort of evil that happens everyday. im not sure why NT people can be so ignorant and so hurtful.

 

people think I upset them being unaware of my directness at times, and how it can upset people, however this is not deliberate and they somehow think that being deliberately hurtful in return is somehow justified

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, one time they called me from flat upstairs and when I looked out window threw a bucket of urine over me, stole my 18th birthday presents(including a cupboard of alcohol) took my food out of fridge(and ignored theirs) and threw it over the walls and over me(and my brand new clothes and the stains never came out)

 

So 10 years later they still acted the same, and the girl was a single mum working a minimum wage job boasting how fantastic her life is(the job she has now I had when I was 21 and it was easy to get into then) she boasts about how she is a strong woman as she is single when I know some of her exes and all call her names of a female dog!(and looking on their facebook even her recent exes say that)

 

wow yes definitely sounds like a female dog, one of those nasty damp smelling dogs that nobody wants to hug,

 

shes probably going on about being a strong independent woman because shes realised that nobody wants her!

 

Autistic people may take things literally and not get the jokes, but what you describe is not funny, at least autistic people have hearts and strong minds and know the difference between right and wrong when it comes to behaviour like that.

 

my behavioural issues are not deliberate and I do not mean any offense to people. as I said above, they seem to think that their behaviour is somehow justified??!!

 

I do feel for you in this situation. when I went to college is seemed to naturally find other housemates who were all deemed 'weird' by normski's for different reasons. hippies, homosexuals and flambouyant artists. some of the nicest people I could have asked for as housemates to be honest as they also knew how it felt to be different.

 

nobody knew about my autism then and just thought I was weird moody and unsocial. Even at times from them still I was singled out and treated differently.

 

I eneded up homeless again after this and got stabbed repeatedly and ended up at the mercy of people who took advantage of me and my apparent naivity regarding social interactions. people, I guess I mean NT people as ive not yet met a nasty ASD, can be so evil sometimes, im not sure why as its not in my nature to be nasty, but all I can say is that to some extend the others are right sying that we need to learn to develop thick skin, even though we shouldn't have to, and try to not even listen to what they say nevermind let it sink into our minds for it o bounce around for hours in anxiety rage.

 

I know first hand how thinking positively and spreading positive vibes doesn't always work, and sometimes feel hopeless.

 

I am trying to believe that there is a purpose for the way our minds work and trying to find peace in the fact that one day we might well be sought after as 'gifted' as we can be relentless when a topic (of work say) interests us and we excel without hinderence of chit chat.

 

As for 'Frenemies', this is something I have been trying very hard to notice. I can often be gullable and don't often notice when someones pretending to be nice to take advantage of me. Im not sure exactly how but im trying to work out how to spot the difference so I can avoid the situations you describe.

 

currently the one's in this category include my partners children aged 13 and 12. shocking but true. when my partners away they do all their teenage things and make me feel like because im not able to work at the moment.

 

Trying to work out how to cope with stuff like this is difficult but im trying to also be 'titanium', waiting for the moment when its my time to shine

 

good luck!

 

oh and as for facebook, I wouldn't bother. since I started on here ive not had any interest in facebook. nobody talks to me there and so many people here talk to me I find it hard to keep up! ive never had so many notifications or mail since joining this and if all I have is the people here to reply on for support then so be it. everyone else now bar my gf and sisters and my daughter and nieces are now classified as frenemies until proven otherwise

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Livelife said: "I don't intend to fail i am going to live my life my way, that's not failing its living in spite of everything others put us through"

 

years of bullying has built up my resilience and determination like it has to you Livelife.

 

i told someone im autistic and they asked me if i had something to kill myself with, they didnt believe in 'american so called syndromes' and were insisting my lack of communication was something i had consciously chosen to do, i havent seen them since, we went to college a long time ago but it still hurts the way he treated me. ive had to block people on social media sites because their behaviour was so offensive 1 person is a relative.

 

As sia would say in their song "im bulletproof nothing to loose. fire away fire away, ricochet you take your aim, fire away fire away, you shoot me down but i wont fall, i am titanium".

That really is unexcepable comments from anybody but would obviously be more hurtful from somebody you know or knew presumably.

There is no way I could have let the comment go unchallenged, I am quite honestly appalling dealing with people face to face but even so I would do my best in anycase.

If it was on line or written form then I feel more able bodied but understanding the full implications can be challenging and things don't always come across the way I meant.

On social media I thought that was cyber bullying and could be reported the same as if you were being threatened or bullied in the street and the very fact online bullying is written and with the IP address of members of the site known it shouldn't be to difficult to report them officially for what they have said.

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that reminds me of about 5 years ago, my flatmates from when I was 18(15 years ago now 10 years from then) added me on facebook and started attacking me calling me freak and weirdo and accusing me of things they thought I did when living with them.

 

I went through their chat history and found they were actually boasting online about finding me on facebook and making fun on me and how I was CLINGY with them(I hated them but I was polite and tried to become friends and they saw it as clingy) Put it this way when I lived with them they stole from me including a 1 week old phone with £50 credit, walked on the balcony to get into room through window and stole money and dvds(back when they were like £15 each) stole my wallet with £100 in and threw my coat out window into river below, one of them set fire to the cooker as he used a chip pan and they all blamed me so I was fined for it, one time they called me from flat upstairs and when I looked out window threw a bucket of urine over me, stole my 18th birthday presents(including a cupboard of alcohol) took my food out of fridge(and ignored theirs) and threw it over the walls and over me(and my brand new clothes and the stains never came out)

 

So 10 years later they still acted the same, and the girl was a single mum working a minimum wage job boasting how fantastic her life is(the job she has now I had when I was 21 and it was easy to get into then) she boasts about how she is a strong woman as she is single when I know some of her exes and all call her names of a female dog!(and looking on their facebook even her recent exes say that)

That was a terrible time for you didn't you have any support network family or friends who could help or at least support you through it.

Everything is easy with hindsight but if I was in that situation I would set up a security camera in a hidden position and get the evidence of what they were doing against you. Then I would have taken it to the police you can't argue or deny something if your on cameras out can't dispute that evidence.

Some may not wish to respond in such a way or able to not all are able but I have had enough of people treating those of us who are autistic in such a way and it there is the opportunity for justic then personally I would take that chance.

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wow yes definitely sounds like a female dog, one of those nasty damp smelling dogs that nobody wants to hug,

 

shes probably going on about being a strong independent woman because shes realised that nobody wants her!

 

Autistic people may take things literally and not get the jokes, but what you describe is not funny, at least autistic people have hearts and strong minds and know the difference between right and wrong when it comes to behaviour like that.

 

my behavioural issues are not deliberate and I do not mean any offense to people. as I said above, they seem to think that their behaviour is somehow justified??!!

 

I do feel for you in this situation. when I went to college is seemed to naturally find other housemates who were all deemed 'weird' by normski's for different reasons. hippies, homosexuals and flambouyant artists. some of the nicest people I could have asked for as housemates to be honest as they also knew how it felt to be different.

 

nobody knew about my autism then and just thought I was weird moody and unsocial. Even at times from them still I was singled out and treated differently.

 

I eneded up homeless again after this and got stabbed repeatedly and ended up at the mercy of people who took advantage of me and my apparent naivity regarding social interactions. people, I guess I mean NT people as ive not yet met a nasty ASD, can be so evil sometimes, im not sure why as its not in my nature to be nasty, but all I can say is that to some extend the others are right sying that we need to learn to develop thick skin, even though we shouldn't have to, and try to not even listen to what they say nevermind let it sink into our minds for it o bounce around for hours in anxiety rage.

 

I know first hand how thinking positively and spreading positive vibes doesn't always work, and sometimes feel hopeless.

 

I am trying to believe that there is a purpose for the way our minds work and trying to find peace in the fact that one day we might well be sought after as 'gifted' as we can be relentless when a topic (of work say) interests us and we excel without hinderence of chit chat.

 

As for 'Frenemies', this is something I have been trying very hard to notice. I can often be gullable and don't often notice when someones pretending to be nice to take advantage of me. Im not sure exactly how but im trying to work out how to spot the difference so I can avoid the situations you describe.

 

currently the one's in this category include my partners children aged 13 and 12. shocking but true. when my partners away they do all their teenage things and make me feel like ###### because im not able to work at the moment.

 

Trying to work out how to cope with stuff like this is difficult but im trying to also be 'titanium', waiting for the moment when its my time to shine

 

good luck!

 

oh and as for facebook, I wouldn't bother. since I started on here ive not had any interest in facebook. nobody talks to me there and so many people here talk to me I find it hard to keep up! ive never had so many notifications or mail since joining this and if all I have is the people here to reply on for support then so be it. everyone else now bar my gf and sisters and my daughter and nieces are now classified as frenemies until proven otherwise

I have a Facebook account and like you haven't found it particularly useful it's ok for people who are typically NT I suppose but it's not for me, I go there but don't get much from it anymore sometimes I wonder why i don't delete my account.

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I have one too, but only at the insistence of a friend. I now only use it for my European singer friends, and tend to post in Romanian. I go through phases with it, and lately I've hardly used it at all as it can be so time-consuming. I've never really liked Facebook all that much - too trivial for me, although there are some good groups there.

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When I first joined Facebook it was because I was told how good it was and I thought with my particularly challenging issues it would be a good way to meet and communicate with people. I find a lot of what is said there trivial and pointless they post about going shopping tasks I find that pointless.

I've tried to join in and created my own posts but it just doesn't feel right and some don't respond others make comments that seem to have no purpose then I get bored, it's fine if you have a particular person you wish to talk to and both of you have a reason to be there. The endless posts without any real purpose I just get board with quickly.

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I've been very active on Facebook, and it was/is my main source of news about what's going on in the world. Almost all my friends are involved in environmental, political or other important and meaningful stuff, and anyone whose newsfeed contains more than a very occasional game score or trivial comment about what they had for breakfast gets blocked. A limited number of cute cat pictures is fine, and unlimited cute dog pictures even better, as I post them too! But a couple of months ago, I got overwhelmed by all the bad stuff going on in the world, and couldn't cope with people however much they're on my wavelength, and totally switched off from Facebook, as well as most of the world outside it.

 

I'd like to get back to Facebook, but without the worst of what's happening in the world. There are various groups and pages I run, or am an admin of, that may be in chaos by now, or where I've lost all my credibility by suddenly disappearing. I've been trying to do my bit to make the world a better place for some years, while at the same time slowly starting to discover that the reason I'm failing is probably due to things I didn't know about myself. Sitting here waiting 10 months for an Aspergers diagnosis (or not), has just made me switch off from it all.

 

This post isn't really about me though, it's really meant to show that Facebook doesn't have to be an unsafe place. By having the right friends, some of whom I've never met, or only met briefly, it can be a source of so much valuable knowledge. I've learned a lot about the world, different ways of thinking, mental and other health stuff, and lots more. And I've never been bullied. I'm trying to work out how to get back there but avoid the stuff I can't handle at the moment. I know that my friends will either be pleased to see me back, or at least indifferent to the fact I've been gone for a while, but I'm concerned about the relentless bad news about how the world is being screwed up that will come with it.

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So, I went back on the website after being away from it for 3 days as still ill(though pretty much better now) to find missed messages and from 1 troll in particular(which makes no sense as they have about 7000 posts and as many thumbs up) again calling me a egomaniac and/or a troll.

 

I response saying they were a troll(and replying to other posters one last time rewording my situation since one said I have a high opinion of myself when in fact its the opposite)

 

The troll comes on again and says to ME "dont feed me(as in a troll) or he will come back whinging me.me.me and saying I have teenage strops(many people accuse me of acting like a teenager on the thread)

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Sounds like your troll is a sociopath and enjoys messing with your head. My gf works in mental health and witnesses all the PD's manipulating the LD's. Sounds typical to me. Can you not block this troll? Which media site is it? I stay away from NT media sites now. Too much bigotry. You don't need this. Why do you go back to them? Stick to like minded people here

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I dont like telling people where I post because I get a little paranoid even if people stand up for me, but this person has been a member many years and is well liked on the website, it seems they have the attitude of they have been there a long time and are popular therefore right(as many of the other people on the website seemed to be to a slight lesser level) it reminds me of real life when bullies say things like "I have many friends therefore I must be a good person and correct"

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I dont like telling people where I post because I get a little paranoid even if people stand up for me, but this person has been a member many years and is well liked on the website, it seems they have the attitude of they have been there a long time and are popular therefore right(as many of the other people on the website seemed to be to a slight lesser level) it reminds me of real life when bullies say things like "I have many friends therefore I must be a good person and correct"

It's a shame that people act in such away but as always it's a reflection on them not you so even though you feel no less than you do remember that the responsibility is theirs and you have no reason to except it.

Have you contacted the site monitor and shown the offensive posts that prove bullying from this person and others is rife, whilst it's sometimes difficult to stand alone it's important not only for you but other users who may experience the same problems with this group of people.

You could always construct a polite but firm responce highlighting where you felt what was said was inappropriate and in particular areas that you didn't understand their meaning and could they explain to you what was meant to avoid your own confusion on what was posted.

This can show them for what they are to other members and it may begin to make them think or even realise it's not right what's going on and contact somebody in your support. It's never a sure thing but I do believe there is a lot of good decent people in society it's that they don't always wish to get involved or even know how to but seeing the truth and one person desperately trying to make sense of a hard situation to deal with can inspire some to do the right thing and with even the support of one person things can seem a lot better.

Those people who have been around a long time can get an inflated opinion of themselves or create a following of others which is in my opinion not a good thing because it can effect judgment and fuel the ego into believing there is a sort of authority that they have earned while others haven't.

I've had similar experiences and left a site because of it, I regret that now because I did nothing wrong but express opinion none of them threatening or abusive but if somebody does not like your opinions and by nature they are prone to not excepting another's view and have no morals then that's all they need to become a bully.

I would not act in the same way again I felt there was something I had done wrong at the time but I don't now I know I did nothing wrong or inappropriately so would not have left so quickly and stood up for myself.

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Sounds like your troll is a sociopath and enjoys messing with your head. My gf works in mental health and witnesses all the PD's manipulating the LD's. Sounds typical to me. Can you not block this troll? Which media site is it? I stay away from NT media sites now. Too much bigotry. You don't need this. Why do you go back to them? Stick to like minded people here

I agree with what your saying its logical and makes sense as being around people who understand and care is preferable to being in a place that is hostile towards you and people who by there very nature are uncaring toward those on the autistic spectrum.

However I can't not consider the consequences of doing nothing and let these people do this, if every person they chose as their victim does nothing but leave because of what they experience then that enforces to the bully that they can get away with it and do it as many times as they want without consequences so encouraging this behaviour.

My father taught me that no matter how difficult things are you have to stand up for your rights otherwise you have have nothing and feel worthless. I haven't always been able to do that and I know it's beyond what some people can do but for anyone capable of making a stand against any form of bullying I would encourage them to do that for their own well being and that of others that may be in the same position in the future.

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So, I went back on the website after being away from it for 3 days as still ill(though pretty much better now) to find missed messages and from 1 troll in particular(which makes no sense as they have about 7000 posts and as many thumbs up) again calling me a egomaniac and/or a troll.

 

I response saying they were a troll(and replying to other posters one last time rewording my situation since one said I have a high opinion of myself when in fact its the opposite)

 

The troll comes on again and says to ME "dont feed me(as in a troll) or he will come back whinging me.me.me and saying I have teenage strops(many people accuse me of acting like a teenager on the thread)

I'm a bit confused by the meaning in your post when you say don't feed me, what does that mean ?

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I means that trolls, just like people, need food to thrive. The trouble about trolls is that they can't thrive unless their diet is spiced up with the thrill they get from the suffering of others.

 

There's been a lot of recent research done on internet trolls which that they have personality disorders - either narcissistic (NPD) or anti-social (APD) - in other words psychopathic traits. Take away their supply and they'd have nothing left to enjoy in life.

Edited by Mihaela

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Thanks Mihaela I understand what was meant now that makes it a lot clearer for me.

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Thought I would update again, on a totally different website I asked a simple question about moving some items, i.e train was cheapest but awkward to carry and man with van was 10X the amount to have this person basically call me stupid for asking such a question then create a fake thread of of their own to annoy me and when I call them childish and also mention I am autistic they reply with so what and it isnt relevant as I still asked a silly question and I am just trying to guilt them.

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just don't waste your time on websites where other people don't value you. Use your energy and knowledge for something constructive that will be appriciated

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Well said Ajl

 

Better to ask your questions here we have an off topic section on the forums.

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I only ask elsewhere as those boards are very active, anyway I reported the person and their comments and trolling thread was removed and they replied saying they were offended as they know people with autism and doubt I have it and acted as if I was the one with the problem, then again saying I only mentioned autism becuase I wanted sympathy then asked me what type of autism I had(as they didnt believe me)

 

I responded and mention that if they really did know and close to people with autism they would realise everyone is different and be aware of certain things that come with it so I saw them as the type of person who gets offended for others when they are no expert.

 

They respond to me once more saying that they have checked my posting history and everytime I am losing an arugment I play the autism "card" and how I should grow up and trying to say their original comment was joking and not trolling(yet they outright called me silly and implied certain things about my intelligence) and I mention autism to "get an advantage" in a situation.

 

They fail to understand that because of my condition I do things like word myself badly so if things get out of hand such as someone getting offended by something I said as it was badly worded I mention autism to make them aware that I am different so they can take that into account NOT because I am trying to get an advantage or make excuses or anything.

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This board seems to be causing you nothing but stress, this forum may be quieter but at least it's mentally safer for you.

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dekaspace,

 

While the internet can be a wonderful place with a lot of decent people there are some who get a kick out of attacking others and trying to upset them. Responding to them and particularly showing them you are upset just feeds them. They are not worth the upset or stress they cause. I know they can be hard to ignore, if the forum allows it I just people like that on ignore. They can rant and rave as much as they like but don't get the kicks as you don't respond.

 

As others say, while it is quieter here you and the response slower it will be without the abuse.

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not being funny but the internet is a great thing for a level playing field. Noone can see your disability as you are just a profile.

You say no one understands your autistic brain, but why should they, if you are just participating in an online board it should make no difference.

Do you understand a NT brain fully? ( I suggest this answer is no as you wouldn't be autistic if you did)

 

Just because you have a disability it doesn't excuse you from anything. Its even more important that you are not participating in any arguments and that you know what to fight and what to leave and walk away from. You cant win everything. For example I get treated as being "special needs" because I am in a wheelchair a lot of people assume my brain doesn't work, I cant possible argue with everyone who talks to my career and not me so most the time I just smile and get what I need but if it comes to something important like my housing needs that is a time to speak out and get my point across. I save my energy for that that matters and not trival things. Its hard living with a head that never switches off but its hard just being a normal person as well.

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Ajl I'm also a wheelchair user but they tend to stop the patronising once I tell them I've got a degree in autism ;-) other ideas could be to mention you can drive or you've passed exams at school (if true).

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