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Mr Salvador

persistant homeless issues, please help

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hi everyone, just looking for advice I think with this one, I need advice

 

since my dad died and mum kicked me out for 'my behaviour' at 17, I have been in and out of homelessness as I struggle to look after myself and keep jobs. its really got me down over the years and have thought about suicide many many times whilst sleeping in bushes etc.

 

this time I have a 3 year old daughter who thinks im king of the world and she totally makes my life worth living, even if I am plagued with Asperger and do not understand the underlying rules of life that everyone else just seems to know.

 

now that I have admitted it to myself, just quite recently in fact, I am feeling a bit wobbly and NEED someone to fall on, a shoulder to lean on in my time of trouble. I have realised that I rely on women in life to look after me, im ashamed to admit but I cant look after myself very well and never have.

 

I have another gf who looks after me most of the time, but she has an anxiety disorder and I get blamed for a lot which causes arguments, for which I am not allowed to mention that 'this is why people say I have Asperger, because I often say things that make sense in my head but don't realise how they can be upsetting to NT's. personally I think now that they are TOO sensitive and not at all capable of empathy, even though these are things they say we can do!

 

everytime things kick off she wants to kick me out and I had struggled for so many years to get a place to live and I gave it up for love, to move 100 miles away to be with my love and hopefully find happiness and ways to get around my shortcomings with Asperger.

 

I hate the way my head is wired up differently! I was trying to get used to fact there were at least a couple of benefits of being asd, but everytime I think about how ive potentially let my daughter down it makes me want to regress further and think about suicide, although I cant because I know that I would then put my woes onto my daughter who loves me so much, I love her more than life itself, literally.

 

all in all, that which I NEED to do in this life revolves around her and helping her to grow up happy and learn how to be an adult. however im worried that I might teach her the wrong things as maybe I don't really know after all how to 'live', maybe I don't know how to teach her how to be 'happy'. I know she loves me but what if im a bad influence?!

 

I just feel useless right now and worth nothing at all and cant even afford to leave here amicably!

 

I hate my life so much sometimes

 

Im wondering if anyone else has suffered with homeless issues and learnt any ways around it?

 

do I get special consideration for having enhanced rate PiP and waiting for official diagnosis?

 

im so lost and alone and have nobody to turn to

 

if im homeless again this time I wont have anywhere to take my daughter, if she thinks I don't love her my life will be defunct and I wont have anything else left to continue this life.

 

please help, I don't want my little girl to think im a useless coward, but I don't know what to do

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Firstly your daughter doesn't Know you have Autism and she loves you and that's for who you are how you react to her , its because of who you are no other reason so why would you wish to change your everything she needs.

There will always be moment of uncertainty times your concerned about doing the best thing but that's for every parent in the world not just you, its important to remember that to do the best things possible you need the intent to do this so you are already half way to doing whats best.

The rest is more about values and doing whats morally right guide her here and she will grow up into a decent caring human being she will develop her own personality traits as she grows as long as she has a good example to follow then she has a good start to her life.

Making a mistake isn't a fault its life she needs to learn this too and not trying to be superman is also a good lesson she needs to see life for what it is in preparation for when she is an adult, that's the best things you can do for her.

The education system takes care of other needs I wont go into that one too deeply as I am not a supporter of the methods but its all there is and it cant be avoided you need to keep her sane within it to be a free thinker like you with opinions and a knowledge of whats right not following something just because your told its right.

Homelessness is a worry there is no easy solution when you find yourself in this situation but as she gets older and sees the efforts you put into bringing her up despite your own issues and everything you have faced she will love you even more for knowing how much you did for her even though you struggled.

So many parents don't care abuse their children don't feed them correctly and have any concern other than going to the pub gambling working anything other than take responsibility for their child.

Your not like that your putting your daughter first and that's what she needs the most , having rich parents who don't care or even bother with them has a deep phycological impact on them that they will have to deal with all their lives.

Your daughter wont have to worry about that she will always have a dad that cares and no matter the situation she will never feel alone or abandoned and that's whats important not how much is achieved or what you have but security in loving parents.

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https://www.york.gov.uk/info/20069/housing_benefit/651/who_can_claim_housing_benefit

 

Can you can claim housing benefit and find somewhere else to live?

 

https://www.york.gov.uk/info/20134/personalisation_of_care/1255/get_adult_social_care

 

Advice about getting social services to help you live in your home.

 

You could also email NAS

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services/welfare-rights-service/contact-the-welfare-rights-service.aspx

 

Hope these links help.

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Firstly your daughter doesn't Know you have Autism and she loves you and that's for who you are how you react to her , its because of who you are no other reason so why would you wish to change your everything she needs.

There will always be moment of uncertainty times your concerned about doing the best thing but that's for every parent in the world not just you, its important to remember that to do the best things possible you need the intent to do this so you are already half way to doing whats best.

The rest is more about values and doing whats morally right guide her here and she will grow up into a decent caring human being she will develop her own personality traits as she grows as long as she has a good example to follow then she has a good start to her life.

Making a mistake isn't a fault its life she needs to learn this too and not trying to be superman is also a good lesson she needs to see life for what it is in preparation for when she is an adult, that's the best things you can do for her.

The education system takes care of other needs I wont go into that one too deeply as I am not a supporter of the methods but its all there is and it cant be avoided you need to keep her sane within it to be a free thinker like you with opinions and a knowledge of whats right not following something just because your told its right.

Homelessness is a worry there is no easy solution when you find yourself in this situation but as she gets older and sees the efforts you put into bringing her up despite your own issues and everything you have faced she will love you even more for knowing how much you did for her even though you struggled.

So many parents don't care abuse their children don't feed them correctly and have any concern other than going to the pub gambling working anything other than take responsibility for their child.

Your not like that your putting your daughter first and that's what she needs the most , having rich parents who don't care or even bother with them has a deep phycological impact on them that they will have to deal with all their lives.

Your daughter wont have to worry about that she will always have a dad that cares and no matter the situation she will never feel alone or abandoned and that's whats important not how much is achieved or what you have but security in loving parents.

 

thanks livelife. I do know that deep down I know she loves me. I just don't want to fail before I get to help her.

 

apparently along with giftedness comes ED and I have major troubles managing money and bills

 

she is 100 miles away and im scared ive made a bad decision being naïve about finding love and happiness

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https://www.york.gov.uk/info/20069/housing_benefit/651/who_can_claim_housing_benefit

 

Can you can claim housing benefit and find somewhere else to live?

 

https://www.york.gov.uk/info/20134/personalisation_of_care/1255/get_adult_social_care

 

Advice about getting social services to help you live in your home.

 

You could also email NAS

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services/welfare-rights-service/contact-the-welfare-rights-service.aspx

 

Hope these links help.

 

thanks trekster, I do need help. my gf says she can either be my carer or my gf but not both so maybe that's the answer

 

im wondering if the last one will be affected because ive not got official diagnosis yet?

 

we currently get some benefits but they go into her bank and im left alone all day with no money to go anywhere or buy anything so starting to feel a bit used and un loved

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I'm currently homeless at the moment. I have been living in temporary accommodation for nearly 2 years. To be a priority to the council you need an official diagnosis, written doctors proof etc. And only then will the council housing person decide if they firstly deem you to be unintentionally homeless ( ie if you have antisocial behaviour or not paying rent etc for the reason you are homeless then its your own fault and the council don't have to do anything about it), if they do deem you homeless through no fault of your own you can go on the housing list and they will eventually find you accommodation.

You get given a priority band from low to high. If they deem you vunerable (through health grounds) then you can move up priority but you have to show them how vunerable you are and things like getting personal Independence payments (PIP) and employment support allowance (ESA) help to prove your case and without an official diagnosis you don't have a chance.

I finally got a diagnosis at 36 years old last week although I already am listed as vunerable as I am a wheelchair user with various other MH issues.

Be warned the councils idea of housing is likely to be a hostel if you are homeless, a rented 1 bed room if you are under 35 or a flat if you are over but it could be miles from where you currently live and even out of borough.

You need to get all the paperwork ( get the local citizans advice bureau to help you) , even if you are not yet homeless you can register on the council housing list and you get higher priority the longer you are on there

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Hello and welcome

 

As someone who struggles to pay the rent and is scared of getting evicted i empathise.

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With this Government it's only going to get worse, I've always tried not to be extreme and be fair to people but the more I am seeing it is a war on the sick and vulnerable in this country.

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I've been watching the channel 4 programme how to get a council house and they make it look so easy. It so isn't. I'm after a wheelchair adapted house and the council just don't have any. My only other want is that it is in the area that my carers cover so I don't have to start again with a whole lot of new people.

So homeless housing want me out of their temporary accommodation.

Housing options who own the housing stock don't care as I don't live in one of their houses and they have nothing to offer me

I'm stuck in the middle and its driving me crazy that I cant solve the situation, normally I can go and sit somewhere and protest to get what I want but there is nothing to satisfy what I want so I cant win.

And yes its going to get worse, the government are making everyone responsible for their own rent by paying housing benefit directly to them so many vunerable people will not pay for what ever reason and be out on the streets and also housing stock is being sold off. So there are less council houses available

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I do wonder what the intent is to make the sick sicker working classes poorer eventually the whole country will be a no go area because of the crime filled streets and homeless camping everywhere.

There is no logical reason other than a hatred of certain classes of people what else can it be, no decent honest caring person would do that but this is a government against its own citizens .

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