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georgiapiano

Temporomandibular disorder diagnosis but no help with cause

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Went to my GP today, who diagnosed me with TMD (temporomandibular joint disorder) - basically a grinding of the jaw, stress related, which leads to aches and pains around the head, jaw, teeth and ear. He explained we need to get to the root of the cause (hurrah, I think, as I'm still undiagnosed). I explain to him that I've been receiving CBT, I'm due my last session in a few weeks and it's honestly not been very helpful at all. I tell him also that I've expressed my thoughts about ASD to my CB therapist and that my therapist has told me "I don't think you have ASD. I work with someone who has it and you don't seem to present as ASD." My GP has not referred me to a psychiatrist or specialist for assessment. He's just said he will write a letter to the CMHT who are working with me to "address the issue of ASD". I'm not really happy with this. I don't feel like anyone is taking me seriously.

 

The thing is, on the outside I can appear very confident, chatty and - well, "normal". But I have practised and practised this act for years on end and it's getting tiring. I'm a good actress, performer and musician. No-body knows the true me. I never show the true me. It's a horrible place, and nobody knows because I'm very embarrassed about it. I can understand why people find it hard to believe. But nobody knows my real angst, and it's scary. Only my partner knows. I don't want to get to the point where I can't handle it anymore and then I end up leaving this life and then people read this and say "Oh, if only we knew." Well then it will be too late if nobody actually listens to me and takes me seriously! :angry:

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This is certainly not unusual but remember you are not alone and many of us can relate to what your going through and the feeling of frustration because nobody is taking notice of your needs or concerns.

Even with a diagnosis you will still have the same life and those that don't care don't deserve you worrying about them and trying to put on an act.

The biggest thing you can do for yourself is be you and express how your feeling be honest with yourself. When you do a lot of the frustrations will ease. There is one thing to consider if you were being how you are and not the act then people would have the opportunity to know the real you.

You may find support from surprising source's but for that to happen you first have to take that chance.

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Ah man....reading this reply has brought tears to my eyes. I cannot believe the amount of support on here. I guess I'm just really overwhelmed that there is finally someone out there who understands and relates. It's so nice to speak to people who understand. Thank you.

 

I understand that with a diagnosis my life won't be the same. I don't expect my life to suddenly change and be wonderful. It's just that since a young age I have always wanted to make sense of WHY I am the way I am. I have always been "different" and I have always had this sense of wanting to understand WHY I AM. If I can only find some reason to how I am me, that would help immensely. Then I can face ASD and say "f*** you ASD. I may live with you, you may be a part of me, but I can move on and live my life with you there. Because I am strong!"

 

I don't want to live a different life. I am happy with what I have. I just want some understanding about why my brain works how it does!

 

You guys on here are so fantastic. Thank you xxx

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