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Anxiety, CPP and other issues

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Hello,

 

My son (16) disclosed information which has led to a Child Protection investigation through which both my children have been put on a Child Protection Plan. My son and I have left the family home and lodge with my sister and her family. The CP issues are complex and relate largely to behaviour between my son and his brother (14) which resulted in sexual bullying by the younger boy.

 

Since we left home my eldest son has told me that he wants to attend a mainstream college rather than try for a specialised residential placement, which was what was originally planned. I respect his wishes and he has an interview for a course in September. He chose a course that is practical rather than academic and at a basic level so he would have less mental pressure when he started and he could concentrate on adapting to college, working on his Maths and English and making friends.

 

 

However, he is incredibly anxious. He has several panic attacks each day and manages them with a variety of strategies e.g. writing down his thoughts, taking himself to a quiet place, listening to music, breathing exercises and so on. He is also expressing feelings of guilt because he thinks he has broken up the family and should have 'manned up' to his brother. I have told him that he did the right thing through making the disclosure because if the behaviour had continued his mental heath would have broken and his brother would have ended up with a criminal record.

 

My youngest son also has mental health difficulties and I support him as much as I can. He lives with my husband and we are sorting out regular contact. However, my eldest seems to have so much to cope with and so much uncertainty and I just really frightened that the college placement will break down and cause him even more distress.

 

Has anyone any advice about how to help him cope with the stress caused by this situation?

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I'm sorry to hear this, but all bullying is wrong and damaging, so your elder son did the right thing. Unfortunately we live in a bullying culture where despite anti-bullying rhetoric and policies they are are largely ignored. It's rife in this country and is far less of a problem in Europe (a recent Save the Children survey placed Britain at 14th out of 15 countries for child happiness, with Romania having the happiest children - no surprise for me there). This silly idea of 'manning up' is so very English, and should be consigned to history where it belongs!

 

As for your son's anxiety, I would have suggested the very coping strategies he's already using, but I'd add having beauty around me. Anything beautiful and calming - walking in quiet countryside, music, poetry, collecting, art, etc.. I use all these and they help a lot. I hope things soon start improving for you all.

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