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dekaspace

Thinking back on how I was as a teenager compared to an adult

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I am still naive now but much more aware of the world but at same time miserable/depressed due to obviously I dont like being older and miss how simple things were in the past.

 

For example when I first left home I could spend my days in front of movies, to the point I could loop one movie all day, even retained that till my mid twenties(though other things came about like clubbing that meant I didnt enjoy it as much)

 

I could go for a walk literally in a circle around the estate and be happy, and a bag of chips was a treat or a few sweeties then come home and watch kids tv or play video games.

 

I was however even worse socially than now, my stature and facial expressions and general spaced out attitude meant I could be walking down the street and people picked up on differences and called me freak or even gave me the sound where they roll their tongue under their lip and slap their wrists even worse at nighttime as people would grunt and get in my face.

 

So I loved how I enjoyed the simple things but hated how naive I was, now I am a full adult into my early 30s I am miserable all the time despite having the same interests just lack motivation and always tired but I am much more street wise but still naive but at least know to be careful around others and no longer get the nasty comments anymore.

 

My ideal situation would be the love life of my teenage years with the world understanding of my adult years.

 

Just strange so thought I would share.

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I sometimes think my issues all started in 2002. The Internet, my ex, my support people, the pigs. :(

 

It has been an awful year for me. 2015 has not been a happy year in the least. My friend is in jail now as well.

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