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college struggle education aspie aspergers

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#1 allyspergers

allyspergers

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Posted 05 October 2015 - 04:08 PM

I'm in my second year of college, and i have been back since summer break for around a month now. Yet, I've failed to attend a continuous full week.Last year seemed so much easier. I have a lovely selection of tutors that im comfortable with, their support is so so helpful and my family support is just as brilliant. Why wont this meltdown period go away? I love learning so so much and I want to be in college so badly but it just makes me so anxious and theres something inside of me that makes me want to stay away. I honestly have no idea what it is - i was the same throughout my entire school experience. I want to be there, I love learning, i cant pinpoint the issue, so nobody can fix it to make it better. Has anyone else had this? does anyone know what i can do? Dont tell me to just push through and try to go because i'll 'be fine once i get there'. I already know that, i've tried it, i've heard it, It's not how it works for me. 

I dont even know what this post is asking of anyone, i'm just so stressed and upset and angry at myself. I have so much potential and i'm being stopped from using any of it because of my stupid anxiety.



#2 Mihaela

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Posted 06 October 2015 - 04:59 AM

You're not alone, Ally.  I've been like this all my life.  I remember that feeling so well from my school days, college and work..  

 

something inside of me that makes me want to stay away. I honestly have no idea what it is.

 

At the time, I didn't know either.  It was only years later that I began to realise what was causing it - a combination of longing for the security of home and anxiety over social situations and vulnerabilities when away from home. 

 

Dont tell me to just push through and try to go because i'll 'be fine once i get there'. I already know that, i've tried it, i've heard it, It's not how it works for me.

 

I couldn't agree more.  I used to get told this, but it doesn't work for people like us.  If anything, it only increases our anxiety, for it makes us feel useless and unable to live up to neurotypical expectations.  (I now seriously question their expectations and values).

 

Due to my autism, I found that formalised education, as I experienced it, just didn't work for me, so I suppose by default I became almost entirely self taught. 


Edited by Mihaela, 06 October 2015 - 05:10 AM.


#3 allyspergers

allyspergers

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Posted 06 October 2015 - 09:58 AM

You're not alone, Ally.  I've been like this all my life.  I remember that feeling so well from my school days, college and work..  

 

something inside of me that makes me want to stay away. I honestly have no idea what it is.

 

At the time, I didn't know either.  It was only years later that I began to realise what was causing it - a combination of longing for the security of home and anxiety over social situations and vulnerabilities when away from home. 

 

Dont tell me to just push through and try to go because i'll 'be fine once i get there'. I already know that, i've tried it, i've heard it, It's not how it works for me.

 

I couldn't agree more.  I used to get told this, but it doesn't work for people like us.  If anything, it only increases our anxiety, for it makes us feel useless and unable to live up to neurotypical expectations.  (I now seriously question their expectations and values).

 

Due to my autism, I found that formalised education, as I experienced it, just didn't work for me, so I suppose by default I became almost entirely self taught. 

This was really helpful to read, knowing that there are others with my anxieties. I've heard so often, lately, especially on this forum, about those of us who struggle with mainstream education. I've heard from so many people with ASD, that they've adjusted to becoming self taught. I really dont want to consider leaving college, i love the concept of leaving the house and going to be taught. Maybe its just a little too much, though. 

Thank you so much for your comment, it's so  nice to know that this isnt a completely alien thing that only I have - I've never been able to relate to anyone with the same issues until now.


Edited by allyspergers, 06 October 2015 - 09:59 AM.






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