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What should I say and not say to my probation officer?

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There is a man I have to legally see currently at least twice a month. He monitors me and types up court reports. He tried to land me in trouble before which is partially why I missed court once, but there were a couple of other reasons too.

 

So, what should I talk about? I have a habit of rabbiting on about my former support workers who had me charged. But when I have to see him, I leave his office feeling a bit rubbish because I keep thinking my life should never have gone down this route and I get sick of the members of Wrong Planet saying I caused this by harassing Sara and Joanna.

 

I've been depressed lately as I live in my family's house. It is cluttered and my sister has issues with her kids, and she has a children's health and safety guarder watching her every move.

 

I would rather not divulge all my business to him. Another issue is getting a flat as without support, it might be impossible. Unfortunately, I feel caregivers have let me down in the past and they cannot be trusted.

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You could explain to him how you feel there is no way out of your problems and you don't know how to prevent reoccurrences.

 

Explain how you are unaware when your behaviour is crossing boundaries and would like support to improve and minimise this risk.

 

Explain that you wish life was better and don't know how to make your life better.

 

It is important that you are honest and open with them. I've lived in a very cluttered home myself.

 

You might want to look up the "taking responsibility" report written by A Powell and see what it says about how probation officers should support adults on the autism spectrum.

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There will be a lot of things I will not be able to hide from him, namely jobs and housing. Support workers are not to be confused with social workers, even if you receive help via both. You should not get them mixed up as their roles may seem alike, but they aren't really that similar at all.

 

With that said, however, should I receive a flat with help from my social worker, he would have to inform my supervisor and I guess if we met up as well to have a discussion about anything important, he would tell him how we got on. That is how supervisors work. They have to know your change of address too and all that, so they know where to send the police should you 'breach your bail terms' again.

 

With support workers, they have to type up reports which are usually kept in a folder where their office is. You may become close with these aides, especially if you see them a lot. That was a mistake I made with the caregivers within Autism Initiatives. Their staff may or may not have had my best interests at heart the whole time. In the end, it all went haywire. This mainly occurred because I was honest about something or I would openly admit to having a fancy for a woman who was employed there, and then someone would go and 'spill the beans' to the people in charge.

 

I got the impression that their nice mannerisms and laid back approach was just a cover-up, and they went back and blabbed about any concerning statements I made, such as the remarks about the escorts, my ex, or Ruth, Sara and Joanna. Yet they never even forewarned me this was going to have to be the case.

Edited by trekster

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They have to maintain their professional distance from you, they're trying to help you rather than be your friends. If I had a crush on a support worker and wanted to date them I would ask not to see them because it would be in the way of support.

 

Your autism classifies you as a vulnerable adult which means it would be ethically and morally wrong for someone in a position of responsibility to date you.

 

Might be an idea to only have male support workers in future. I've been supported since 2005 and have found a way to work with them. There have been occasions where I've crossed boundaries by asking personal questions but I've backed off when reminded the questions were intrusive.

 

I hope you can move on and find a support system that works for you. My 1st care agency went bust.

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Well, okay. Maybe using a certain 'P' word to classify the police may be seen as impolite, but my mate hates them too. I'm sure we are not the only ones either.

 

I see you edited it out of my post. Ha-ha.

 

I actually got my advocate to write to AI and he got a reply which I will look at later on. It hardly matters as although yes, I feel awful over everything from before, they are no longer employees of the agency that used to help me. There is no point in incessantly moaning about the past as nobody can alter the course of history. Sadly, it is only something guys such as Michael J. Fox once could do.

 

By the way, I aim to have an all-male support team with The Action Group. However, the help is more so going to be in place in order to increase my success rate with my new hobbies and friendship pursuits. It still would be wise to not be too revealing. That way, the working relationship will be steady and we will feel more relaxed about things. It might still be annoying if someone I grow to like should one day leave. But this is something that just occurs in life quite a lot, as you know.

 

I actually got deleted off of an acting website and I suspect they went on a witch hunt because I divulged too much info. So in the future, it would obviously be wiser to just talk about ordinary stuff and remain professional. That way, the people with the power to ban me won't think I am unsafe or that I am some creepy weirdo.

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