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sarah xxx

advice on my childs diagnosis

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Hi i have a 9 year old son that i have known from 2 weeks old that something wasn't as it should be i have 3 children being older so i new the developing was different he would be in his own little world wouldn't play with toys he was obsessed with cars and would line them around the floor in a circle if they got knocked out of place would get cross and line them up again he would have what we thought where tantrums but where so server that he would smash his head on door frames concrete floors we had to resort to putting down padding on the floor when these melt downs would happen to protect him from harm .He has had toileting problems with soiling himself everyday he can hold in his poo for up to 2 weeks before now i seeked medical help and they gave him a mixture of lactalous senna and still manage to hold in the poo he is not constipated and they said it is probably behaviourol he now goes once or twice a week .There are a lot of sensory issues smells, light, sounds ,and touch anxiety is a big problem especially school being home schooled by EOTS at the moment trying to get him to school is to traumatizing for him his melt downs have became more verbally and physically aggressive he is not a small child and can become very overpowering i did have to restrain him by wrapping a blanket round him due to him punching glass and breaking his tv .what i would like advice with is he has had a diagnosis of ADHD,TICK DISORDER.SENSORY,MILD LEARNING DISABILITY ANXIETY , ATTACHMENT ,BEHAVIOUROL,EMOTIONAL AND SOCIAL DIFFICULTIES Now i believe that he needs to be assessments done to see if he has ASD but have been told that because he can give eye contact and he smiled at the right time when doctor spoke to him that there is no need to asses for ASD he is a very loving child and does show remorse after the meltdowns and then becomes very emotional and says he doesn't want to be this way he is very rule based everything is black and white. please could anyone going through the same sort of thing have any advice i would be very grateful we also have a lot of medical people but don't seem to be communicating with each other we have also now been told that the adhd is tentative please help

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Hi there

 

Definitely sounds like the spectrum to me

 

I used to be car mad and buold then with lego bit never played brum brum with them just building them and lining up corgi cars. All the sensitivities amd existing diagnosis of things that sound like autistic traits, imcluding how he reacts and the things you have to do to calm him down all sound like me

 

The thing about eye contact is a strange one tho. With some people its worse than others... and at different times and levels of anxiety.

 

I think it isnt an inability to look at someones eyes, just an uneasiness or uncomfortable feeling about when and how it shoukd be done. ..

 

People woukd say I was starringvat them but ivwas only trying to make contact.

 

So either I dont know where to look or im starring, however it is in my ability to make contact for short periods if required... however that IF has many variables to consider.. mostly its not valid priority so it gets forgotten about

 

The toiletcthing I wouldnt govat other peoples house so would hold it in but dontvthink I did it at home. Never did a poo at school either not sure why

 

Evertthing in mymife is rule based and black/white...

 

Sounds indicative to me but im not a doctor...

 

Sometimes things get mixed up as gender dyphoria is often not noticed for long time and female type aspergers has different traits. As with me

 

Jist because he smiled at yhe riggt time doesnt indicate anything. Sometimes fake smiles are used in public in attempt to blend in and/or appear 'normal'...something that the NT world tries to do to us, to make us appear more 'normal'...

 

A term I think is paradoxical by design

 

One who thinks they are 'normal' is discounting everyone elses normality thereby making thenselves a bigot and cancelling their 'normal' status. As bigotry is not normal. ..if the term should actually exist.

 

I was told all my life that I should be normal andvtook me till age 36 to be diagnosed.

 

If you do havecan aspie, nurture his strengths. Many of us have special talents and this can easily be wasted by trying to make us fit into boxes with 'normal' stickers on!

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Hi Sarah

I can 100% relate to your post I have a 10year old and I've been backwards and forwards to gps community paediatrics getting discharged feeling I'm letting my little boy down by not being able to help but I am finally getting somewhere so my advise don't give up keep going to the doctors don't be afraid to tell them what you want you know that your child isn't the same as your other children a doctor who sees him 5 mins can't make judgment calls, talk to his teachers see if they can help my son has quarterly SEND reviews I took all of them to last doctors appointment they could no longer dismiss us

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